Thursday, August 26, 2010

Urgent Recall Notice

Here's a great email my friend sent to me.


Regardless of make or year, all units known as "HUMAN BEINGS" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically termed, "Serious Internal Non-morality," but more commonly known as "SIN."
Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:

[a] Loss of direction
[b] Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfishness
[f] Ingratitude
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Rebellion
[i] Jealousy

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, G-d, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. To repeat, there is no fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, G-d, into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, G-d will replace it with:

[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Kindness
[e] Goodness
[f] Faithfulness
[g] Gentleness
[h] Patience
[I] Self-control

Please see the operating manual, TORAH, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, G-d . Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.

WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list.

Thank you for your immediate attention.


  1. Love this one... Hope we all get the upgrade and repair we need this Rosh hashana.... so can greet Moshiach whole, healthy and strong..

  2. OMG this is soooo cool! I love how the author of this one sounded just like when you call Dell tech support (of course, they're the only ones who have to recall computer parts - jj!).

    Looking forward to the latest version of HB ;). But wait, I don't like the way this article says that there was a defect in the original prototypes of Adam and Eve. Hashem made them perfect! Only later, because of the yetzer horah (snake) did they sin and cause malfunctioning. Something about the wording doesn't sit right with me, but then again, I didn't write it!

    SIN = Service Inspection Needed
    Time to look inside yourself and figure out what you need to correct. Nobody wants a violation ;)

  3. Like the previous two, I love this one! I saw it a while ago but didn't have it anymore. Thanks for putting it on your blog.

  4. I really like this - Thanks a million! ~Tmima

  5. Woah! This is tremendous! Thank you so so much.

  6. RD-glad you liked :-)

    iRiR-Yeah, this is a good one, that's why I posted it! I would think the malfunction was not in the way they were created but in the fact that they SINned...

    SIR, Tmima & Brochi-thanks!


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