Showing posts with label Chessed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chessed. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Shalom's 18th Yartzeit

My brother Shalom's 18th yartzeit is coming up. It's hard to wrap my head around this big number. A number that means life, when he is not alive with us. Sure, I believe he's living the most precious and beloved existence and his life is more real than the life we live in this world of falsehood. But my life feels so real to me. And I want to do something special to carry on his name and his life in a way that gives life to others. 

I'm knee deep in reading an incredible and inspiring book, 90 Seconds, about Eli Beer, the man who started United Hatzalah. This book speaks to me on so many levels. He was a teen who couldn't sit in class, got kicked out of school so many times and ended up leaving school for good, starting his own business ventures and initiatives just to keep busy. He volunteered for Magen David Adom which lead him to starting an organization whose goal is to reach each call for help within 90 seconds, by having volunteers in every part of Eretz Yisroel. It's a long story and worth the read and I want to do something to contribute towards his life saving efforts.

Here's my idea. I am looking for 18 people to commit to donating $18 (or more) to United Hatzalah, in memory of my brother Shalom whose 18th yartzeit is this Friday. To honor his life, and the 18 years since he was last present on this earth, let's help the organization that gives life and extends the lives of so many! And if you'd like to level up your donation, you can donate any amount not just once, but every month for the next 12 months.

I'm going to be the first!

Can you join me?

Click on this link to fill out a form if you're in: https://bit.ly/GiveLifeForShalom

L'ilui nishmas Shalom ben Chaim Nosson whose yartzeit is this Friday, August 4th, י"ז אב.

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Spread Our Light

 We are an incredible People.

This past weekend, we were traveling with our kids when my sister in law called.

"We're out of power. Can we stay at your house for shabbos?"

The severe weather caused power outages in some neighborhoods. After confirming that my block did not lose power, we assured her that she was welcome to stay at our house. Baruch Hashem we have space and try to have the guestroom prepared so it is always ready for sleepover guests.

"One of my friends was supposed to stay with us for shabbos. Can she sleep at your place too?"

Of course, we told her that would be our pleasure.

She also told us she and her husband had planned on eating out for the Friday night meal at someone in their neighborhood and was wondering if we had any food in our fridge to help fill in for their shabbos meal. They had some challah and dips, so did we perhaps have anything else?

Since I was traveling, I did not cook any food for shabbos. There was a small portion of leftovers from Thursday night's dinner, but that wasn't going to cut it. We had packaged sliced deli in the fridge which they said would be just perfect.

But that wouldn't feel like shabbos.

We called a couple of neighbors.

And that's where the magic began.

It was just 30 minutes to candle lighting. But that doesn't matter when you have awesome neighbors with huge hearts.

My sister in law, her husband and shabbos guest had a full, delicious shabbos meal, not just deli and some challah.

It didn't matter that my neighbor had a house full of her own guests for Shabbos Chanukah.

She was happy to share her hot, delicious shabbos food on a moment's notice.

We are an incredible People.

And when we have an opportunity to share, to give to someone who doesn't have, we do it with a full heart.

On Chanukah, we take the little light we have and continue to ignite many flames, one candle each night, until our menorah is fully illuminated.

In life, we use the good we have and share it with others. We ignite hearts with ahavas yisroel, spreading light and warmth with our kindness, first to one person and then by sharing stories like these, we light up the hearts of all Jews who feel so blessed to be part of a Nation like ours.

Let's continue to spread our light. Let us act with chessed to those in need and then share those stories as far as we can so the entire Nation feels so blessed by these heartwarming experiences!

Happy Chanukah!

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Guest Room

My basement
With the guest room
Once a happening place
Busy hosting
Sleepover guests
Now replaced
With quiet
It's empty
Week after week
As we seek
To remain
Safe
Home
Alone
No guests
No more changing linen
On a weekly basis
No more inviting guests
Every shabbos
No more last minute requests
"Is your basement available?"
No more calls
To reserve the space
For families
Who need a place
To stay
When coming from far away
So they could partake
In a family simcha.
No more telling the kids
To choose a few games
Before shabbos day
So they could play
On shabbos morning
Upstairs
So the guests could stay
Sleeping
Downstairs.
The basement -
It's all theirs
Every day of the week
No more sharing their space
No more hosting with grace
No more giving a place
To people who need.
Our guests thanked us
They were so grateful
When they'd leave
But did I realize
Indeed
How much I gained
From hosting?
How much I enjoyed
Being
On the giving end?
Our home is still full
Full of noise
Full of laughter
Full of learning
Full of fun
Full of laundry
Full of messes
Full of kids.
But it's empty
Empty of guests
Empty of Hachnosas orchim
Empty of
The weekly giving.
Yes, I'm still giving
Endlessly
To my kids
To my family
But I want to give
To a bigger circle
Of people who need
Of people who enjoy
My home
My food
My desserts
My company.
I think about
Hashem's home
That was once full
Full of people
Full of kedusha
Full of purpose
Full of meaning
Full of life.
Now that home
Is empty.
Completely empty
Are we ready?
Ready to be the ones
To fill that home
With kedusha?
With purpose?
And with meaning?
Do we fill our homes
With kedusha?
With purpose?
With meaning?
Can we be the ones
To return to
Hashem's home?
So He can host us
And bestow upon us
All the goodness
All the blessings
That come along with
Basking in His presence?
My home is so full
Yet empty in some ways
My heart is full of yearning
Waiting for true change
When we will be united
Together all Jews
With clarity
And the redemption
Just to name a few.
Hashem,
Look at your nation
Look at the chessed
Look at the tefillos
Look at the teshuva
Of so many individuals
We are changing
We are growing
We are yearning
We are hoping
For change
The Ultimate change
The Ultimate geula
We want to be
In Your home.
Bring us home
Fill Your home
With our noise
With our laughter
With our joy
Of the geula
Of knowing
That all this
Was part of
Your plan for us.
Bring us back.
Bring us home.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

A Lesson in Parenting

There's always a first time, right?

But to me, this little encounter was surprising and upsetting at first; it was enlightening and empowering at the end.

I was in a toy store with my baby and I was bouncing him up the steps in the stroller. In the past, any time I was in a public place with a staircase and my baby, someone offered to help me.

When I went to shul for a kiddush and was bouncing the stroller down the steps to the simcha hall, someone offered to help me.

When I was walking up the steps to a friend's house and someone saw me with the stroller, he offered a helping hand.

And this time, this woman watched me bounce up the steps one by one and waited patiently as I slowly made my way up the steps. She followed along with me, but didn't gesture or offer a helping hand.

It was surprising, but I continued on my way as she conversed with her little girl about the toys in the shop. 

A few moments later, I watched as her daughter bumped into a box from a neatly stacked pile of toys and continued on, without turning back to pick up the box she knocked over. My own little girl rushed to straighten out the boxes.

Okay, it happens, I thought to myself.

But when that happened a second time, I wasn't so sure. When the same girl casually continued looking at the toys on display after knocking something down a second time, I knew this wasn't a coincidence.

And I thought about it.

I realized how much power and influence we parents have over our children.

Children learn more from what we do than from what we say.

When we model good behavior, they will follow in our ways.

And when we model carelessness and disregard for another's feelings, our children will do the same.

It's not her daughter's fault that no one ever taught her to look out for other people. She was just following what she saw from her own mother.

Now, I'm not judging this woman and there can be numerous reasons for why she didn't offer to help.

Maybe she has back problems and can't lift anything heavy.

Maybe she has other health issues that would prevent her from offering the specific type of help I could have used.

But after seeing this young girl exhibit the exact same carelessness as her mother, I took this very powerful and empowering message for myself as a parent.

We can tell our children all the right things.

We can lecture them about how to act in private and how to behave in public.

But the most profound way to teach them is by modeling the behavior we want them to emulate.

We can tell them not to yell at their siblings when they're upset, but if we yell at them when we are angry, what will they learn to do? We need to work on ourselves to maintain our own inner calm, even when we're stressed, annoyed or angry. 

We can speak about the importance of honesty, forgiveness, responsibility and all the other good virtues, but the best way for them to really internalize their importance is by modeling honesty, by being forgiving and taking responsibly for our actions.

They will learn to trust in Hashem and to believe that everything that happens is for the good if they see us responding to difficult situations with words of emunah and faith. With actions that show we believe Hashem runs the world and we have faith in Him. 

It's in our hands to help the next generation acquire the skills they need to navigate the complex world we live in. We can help them succeed by working on our own selves.

May we be able to do the hard work so we can be in the best place possible on an emotional level, on a spiritual level and on every level in between. And may our children follow in our positive ways.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Parshas Beha'aloscha

Parshas Beha'aloscha ends with Miriam getting tzora'as. While the entire nation waited for Miriam, her brother Moshe davened. What was his tefillah? 6 words. Ana Kel Na, Refah Na La-Please Hashem, heal her. He davened a short tefillah because so many people were waiting. 

We learn from this that tefillah, chessed and spiritual growth are important but should not be done at the expense of other people. Yes, it's nice to take on extra levels in our yiddishkeit, but we need to be considerate of those around us and make sure our growth isn't causing others discomfort. And while chessed is a big mitzvah, we need to make sure our own families aren't losing out because of it.

May we be able to find the right balance when we are growing and doing good, so we are happy and those closest to us are happy as well!

Friday, November 2, 2018

Parshas Chaya Sara

Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Yitzchok. Eliezer looked for one quality in the girl in question. She must be a baalas chessed, someone who notices what someone else needs and offers to go above and beyond-in this case by giving water to Eliezer and his camels.

We see that the most important part of a person is their character, their middos and the way they care for others. Not looks, not money, not talents-but what the person does with the gifts they were given. We should reflect on our own selves and make sure we are using whatever qualities we have to make a difference in the lives of others.

May we be able to appreciate the things that really matter in others and keep using our talents and gifts to help other people!

Friday, October 26, 2018

Parshas Vayeira

Avraham Avinu invited three guests into his home, even though they didn't look like him and they were idol worshippers. His kindness extended to every type of person, no matter what they looked like on the outside.

Hachnosas Orchim sometimes transforms us into kinder, more sympathetic people. We treat strangers with more respect and tolerance than our own family. Perhaps this week, we can pretend our close family members are our guests and treat them with an extra level of care and consideration. We can be more giving, more patient and more understanding of those closest to us. Although it's easy to fall into the trap of habit and snap at the people who push our buttons, if we put in the effort to treat them with extra consideration, we can transform our relationships and make them stronger.

May we be able to act with forethought and respond to our close family members with a gentle touch, bringing more light and love into our homes!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Middo Are the Way we Act...

A couple of weeks ago, I gave someone a ride and she shared the following story with me.

The person in this story is just a "regular" Jewish person. Not someone anyone knows as exceptional. Though what he did was exceptional. And inspiring.

This woman takes two buses every day to get to her job. Every day she noticed a man who took the same route as her...But his face was in his tehillim throughout the entire ride. They never exchanged as much as a hello. When they'd get off the first bus, she'd get off in the back and he in the front. They waited at the same stop for the next bus and he'd be saying tehillim the whole time. She was sure he never noticed her. One day, as she came off the first bus, she saw that the next bus already pulled up and was waiting for her! She couldn't believe it. This guy, who never even looked at her and she was sure didn't know she existed, had the bus wait for her to get on. 

THAT is called middos. 

Looking out for other people, doing chessed quietly, helping others in small ways. All these little acts are so big. Why? Because it shows what is going on in the person's mind. They aren't just doing one isolated nice act of kindness. It shows that this person is on the lookout for good deeds. Doing chessed is part of their being.

It seemed like this man didn't pay attention to the woman who took the same route as her each day. He was busy saying tehillim. (No, he wasn't busy on his phone. Is this a rarity?) But somewhere, in the corner of his eye, in the corner of his soul, he noticed and grabbed the opportunity to do a tiny chessed. Which is huge on so many levels. He made a kiddush Hashem, he saved her from the frustration of juust missing a bus and having to wait for another one, he saved her time and gave her an inner peace-menuchas hanefesh along with a wonderful feeling inside...knowing she belongs to such an incredible nation, the Jewish People.

May this story serve as an inspiration that yes, there are good people out there, people who are simply good and looking out to spread the light of the Jewish People. And may this story inspire us to look out for other people, notice what they need and help them.

May opportunities for acts of kindness come your way and may you be able to be on the giving end of chessed always!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

So Lucky

I love our nation. I am so lucky to be part of the Jewish People. I know it good and well but there are times that I feel it.

Yesterday was one of those times.

I was waiting quite a long time for a bus and my baby was getting antsy. After a few minutes of kvetching to come out, I took him out of the stroller.

"Cuppa." He was thirsty. His sippy cup was empty. He got mad.
And he started to cry.
I had no time to go buy another water bottle for him because the bus showed up just then.

(First moment)
I was holding my cranky baby in one hand and wheeling the stroller towards the bus with the other when a girl came over, held onto the bottom of  the stroller and helped me onto the bus. No questions asked, of course! This is what Jewish people do! 

I couldn't pay the driver with my screaming baby in my arms. I wheeled the stroller to the back of the bus while struggling to calm him down. One woman held the stroller in place so it shouldn't roll away. When another woman saw me holding the money but unable to get to the front to pay the driver, she offered to do it for me. And she did. (That's moment number two and three.)

A few minutes later, my baby still yelling (and kicking :)) and refusing to sit in his stroller or on a seat, a mother offered to give him a bag of chips. (moment number four.)
I thanked her but explained that he just had a whole bag of chips while we were waiting for the bus. Now he was thirsty but there was no more water left in his sippy cup.

Within seconds, another woman reached into her bag and pulled out a new water bottle and gave it to me. She refused to let me pay for it. (moment number five.)
As soon as my son saw the water bottle, he started to calm down. I opened it, poured some water into his sippy cup and the bus was completely quiet...all eyes were on my baby drinking with such intensity. He was thirsty.

The bus got to my stop but my baby was still not strapped into his stroller. I didn't have to blink before a young girl stepped in front of me and helped me off the bus. After all, this is what is done. There was no need for me to ask anyone for help! (moment number six.

Thank you, all the mothers and girls on the bus who showed their care and concern for another Jewish woman, another little crying baby. I doubt you'll be reading this, but I do want to thank you from the bottom of my bursting heart-bursting with pride to be part of a nation like ours. 

Thank you, Hashem, for giving us the Torah that teaches us how to treat others with such love.

I feel so lucky. So lucky to be part of a nation that instills good middos and ahavas chinam into the hearts of their young children...children who grow up to be caring mothers, not just caring about their own children, but caring about all of Hashem's children.

May the zechus of the ahavas chinam displayed and the incredible "Mi K'amcha Yisroel" feeling I experienced yesterday bring so much bracha and gezeiros tovos onto our special nation. May we be able to unite in ways like these-doing chessed for one another throughout the year.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Sefira - Climbing Higher


This was posted last year and I want to share it with you again.

To continue on where I left off on last post, I wanted to get practical. I felt like the last post was inspirational and can leave the reader feeling like they want to do something to use each day for growth but then the feeling may creep in:
Now what?!

How do you get to a level where by the time Shavuos comes around, you can look back and say Wow! I really changed! I used each day to grow and come closer to Hashem!

Let's get real. I know that in the past I haven't been able to look back after 49 days and say that I've really grown.

Change is difficult.

It takes work.

Here's something I heard from my very special married sister that I wanted to share with you because it can make all the difference.

You need to choose something small.

And that is SO true. That's how you can change over the 49 days of sefira.

In Judaism, growth can only be made if you take baby steps.

Little, small, teeny baby steps.

Proof: Sefira is forty nine whole days. That's quite a long time if you think about it! It's not like you are expected to change in a weeks time. No. It's gradual. You have more than a month to change, to prepare for the big day!

Now we are already more than halfway through sefira but I still think it's worth sharing these ideas so that if you haven't started yet, you can still utilize the time that's left to take something little and start making a change.

That's what I said. Something little.

It's up to you to decide where you want to begin.

Here are some ideas:
You want to become a more giving person? You want to work on chessed? Do one small thing every day to help someone else. It can be an anonymous act of kindness (like closing an opened safety pin so it wont prick someone else - I heard this idea at a speech a while back and it really left an impression on me!) or it can be something else - calling someone to let them know you're thinking of them. Whatever it is, make sure it's something small that can be done every day.


You think your
kibbud av va'eim could use a little polishing? That's a hard mitzvah. But if once a day you make sure you had a positive thought about your parents, your mother or your father, you are already on your way up that spiritual ladder. One "thank you" to your parent, one extra chore to help out, one less complaint - and you're getting there.

Are you too connected to technology? Do you want to connect to Hashem but find yourself whipping out your phone/laptop/iPad too often to check your text messages or emails? Once a day, just one time during the day, hold yourself back. Instead, direct your thoughts upward and think a spiritual thought.

Do you want to work on your appreciation to Hashem for all the things He does for you but find yourself complaining about the things going wrong too often? Again, make it a once a day thing - think of something you are thankful for because in reality, Hashem gives you so, so much! Your eyes, your ears, your taste buds, your friends, your family, a healthy body, a digestive system, flowers, sunrise, music, the ability to understand, a job, a home...and the list goes on and on. So take a moment once a day to thank Hashem for ONE THING and then when Shavuos comes, you can look back and say, I've grown in my appreciation to Hashem during this sefira period.

Does your bein adam l'chaveiro need a little tune-up? There are so many ways to improve but just take one little step every day - give someone a sincere compliment. Hold in that urge to answer back for an extra second. Smile at someone when you pass them by in the hallway. Hold the door open for someone walking in behind you. Stop yourself before you respond to someone's gossip. These are hard things but if you take a small step, you can get there at the end of the 49th day.

Can your tefillah use a little more concentration to make it better? Decide that you are going to look into your siddur during one tefillah each day. You can choose the same tefillah, the first one you daven when you open your siddur, or a different one every day. But make sure that at the end of each day you can look back and say that you looked inside once. Because that can really make a difference in the kavanna that you have. When you look inside, you see the words and automatically your brain thinks about what those words mean! It may take a quick second before you get distracted but if you push yourself to look inside again at that tefillah, you'll see a difference in how you are able to concentrate!

There are so many areas that a person can change. When you look at all the ideas thrown out to you here, it may seem overwhelming. But just choose one thing. And take small steps towards your goal. Your goal is that when Shavuos comes around, you will be able to look back at this time with pride knowing that you utilized each day.

But if you do too much, you can fall back and give up because it becomes too hard. Taking something little upon yourself makes it a goal that can be reached.

Happy Climbing!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Making Impossible Possible

Thank you Malky for emailing this to me.

The Art of Making the Impossible Possible
By: Rabbi Avrohom Birnbaum

I am not a Satmar chossid by any means. I am far from it. Being stranded with some 80 Jews, among them several Satmar chassidim, atop Killington Mountain in Vermont last week, however, gave me eason to become a chossid of at least one aspect of their worldview, an aspect that I would like to share with my readers. Not just as a token of hakoras hatov to them for all that they did for my family and the 18 other stranded families, but rather because I think that there is much that we, as a community, can learn from them.

KOL HASHEM SHOVER ARAZIM!

Boruch Hashem, our rendezvous with Hurricane Irene ended with our arrival home early last Wednesday morning, absolutely exhausted, but exulting in Hashem’s kindness after witnessing the absolute devastation and destruction wrought on the state of Vermont. It is impossible to describe what we saw as we left central Vermont, other than that it looked like a war zone. Roads were literally “bombed” out, with massive chasms along both sides of every road, and ripped-up, twisted pavement and metal guardrails spilling into raging rivers. We drove in the middle of those roads on what had once been the two yellow lines, terrified that one wrong move, one turn of the wheel or shifting of the already puckered pavement, would bring us in direct contact with those raging rapids.

We saw houses and cars floating downstream. It was heartbreaking to see local residents sitting outside what had once been their houses or farms, shell-shocked as they watched their possessions, their life’s work, literally swallowed up before their eyes. They were helpless. Nothing they could have done would have prevented that.

Kol Hashem shover arazim!


ACTION, NOT HAND-WRINGING

Let us, however, return to our Satmar friends. They were by no means the majority in our group. They were just a few families, but as soon as it became clear that the situation was dire and it was conceivable that we would not be leaving for a few days, they sprang into action.

While the rest of us were engaging in hand-wringing and speculation as to what our plight would be and when the authorities would release us, they were working the phones.
“Look, we don’t have enough food,” one of them told me. “We have to figure out a way to get food flown in. We can’t very well let families, especially families with small children, have little or nothing to eat.”

About two hours later, while I was contemplating how to stretch some oatmeal and peanut butter to last a few days, they told me with a sense of pride that “by tonight, a helicopter would bring us ‘kol tuv.’” That is exactly what happened.


CHANGING THE FOCUS FROM IF TO HOW

How did they do it?

It was a combination of factors. Perhaps the first crucial factor was a deeply ingrained devotion to chessed. They have been hardwired to do whatever possible for those in distress. It is their default button, almost part of their very DNA.

The second factor is a different approach to life and serving the public than that which we are accustomed to. The basic working premise that my new found Satmar friends displayed as soon as the problem crystallized was, “There is a solution to the problem.” End of sentence.

We will solve the problem with Hashem’s help. The question is only how and how much money and work it will involve.

Their phone calls led them to the Chesed Shel Emes organization, which has connections to the Coast Guard and FEMA. They worked government channels and got permission to fly to Vermont and land a helicopter on Killington Mountain. When it became clear that they could not get a government helicopter, they simply paid for a private one.

How did they accumulate enormous amounts of food in a matter of hours?

Simple. Chaverim of Kiryas Yoel and others circulated numerous businesses in Kiryas Yoel, Monsey and Brooklyn, seeking donations. The special Yidden, the proprietors, gave beyad rechavah, with a generous
hand.

“People are stuck? Of course we will help them!”

Again, their hardwired DNA kicked in.

The entire effort, from beginning to end, was donated. Chessed Shel Emes, Reb Isaac Lieder and Chaverim did not ask for a penny. They did not want anything in return. They just saw a need and filled it. They transformed what we saw as impossible to possible. Why? Because for them it was never impossible. The question was not, “Can we do it?” but rather, “How can we do it?”

About 40 miles away from us, there was a frum camp that was also stranded for two days due to Irene. Although the camp was not a chassidishe one, they, too, were eventually in contact with Chessed Shel Emes as well.

According to Rav Yaakov Yosef Rosenberg of Chesed Shel Emes, if not for the fact that they got out the next morning, Chessed Shel Emes would have brought them food too, no questions asked.

THE QUESTION: WHY?

The reason is that their default button is set to make possible the impossible. Those communities have entire networks of organizations in place to help with such eventualities.

Why, when you are a recipient of their chessed, do they give you the feeling that they are happier to be performing the chessed than you are to receive it?

Perhaps the answer lies with the great gaon and tzaddik, the Satmar Rov, Rav Yoel Teitelbaum zt”l. One of the foundations that he literally hammered into the mindset of his chassidim is that chessed must be done, no questions asked.

It does not matter who the recipient is or if his ideology is different or even opposed to yours. If he is a fellow Yid, you must drop everything to help him. The Rebbe insisted that young children and bochurim go around collecting funds for tzedakah so that they will understand how it feels to collect and they will be imbued with a culture of giving. There is still no Bikur Cholim organization that can compete with the size and scope of the Satmar Bikur Cholim. That deeply ingrained feeling of responsibility for Jews, especially Jews in difficult situations, is where so much of their creative energy is channeled.

The amazing results, as well as the contrasts with other cultures, are clear.


DEALING WITH THE HOW…AND MAKING IT WORK!

Even with regard to mosdos and educational institutions, Satmar, as one of the fastest growing populations, possesses many of the same demographic challenges that other frum communities experience. They have a burgeoning population and the mosdos have a hard time keeping pace with the demand for classroom space. Again, the question is not, “Can we keep up?” The answer is already a resounding, “Yes!” The only question is, “How will we do it?”

Recently, a friend related how a family he knew moved to a certain New York community and the school that he wanted would not accept his son, not because he was unqualified, but because there was no space. The child was out of school for the first few weeks. He tried everything, but all doors seemed closed. Eventually, someone put him in touch with a principal of a Satmar school.

“Your child is out of cheder?!” he asked incredulously. “Come down right away!”

The father came down with his son and the principal greeted the child with a wide smile.

“Hello Moishele!” he said.

Without even going to his office, he walked Moishele to a classroom, opened the door, and exclaimed, “Kinderlach, there is a new yingele in cheder!”

He did not even check if there was an extra desk in the classroom. That detail could be worked out later. First and foremost a child had to be in cheder. Only later did he accompany the father to the office and take down his information.

To that menahel, the question was how, not if. Perhaps it is time to emulate this Satmar approach to public service and chessed. Perhaps it is time to train our youth - and adults – to give unconditionally, to love to give, to desire to give, to take pride in giving.

You don’t have to be a Satmar chossid to be a chossid of Satmar chessed. Let’s try it!

You don’t have to be a Satmar chossid to be a chossid of Satmar chessed.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Say a Little, Do a Lot

I posted this thought last year and wanted to share it with you once again.

In this week’s parsha, Parshas Vayeira, we read about how Avraham told his guests, "I will fetch a morsel of bread that you may sustain yourselves." (Bereishis 18:5) but when it came to actually serving the food, he had a lavish meal prepared for the visitors. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 87a) illustrates here that "the righteous say little and do much." This is important in hachnassas orchim especially. Often when we invite guests we tell them how wonderful a time they are going to have and promise them things that in the end we cannot give them, be it our time, attention, food, drink or accommodation, through no ill will of our own. It is better not to promise too much comfort but then to provide more than we have promised. Not only did Avraham provide more than he had promised, he did everything himself and solicitously stood by his guests as they partook of the meal.

Lest we think that Avraham's treatment of his guests was something someone only on his level could achieve, we need not look so far back in time. A visitor recalls his visit to Reb Elyah Lopian after Tzom Gedaliah when Reb Elyah was already in his 90s.

"Reb Elyah's first question was whether I had eaten yet," recalls Mr. Jakobovits. "It was shortly after the end of the fast, and I told him in all honesty that I hadn't. He brought me into the dining room filled with bachurim. He sat at the head table, and sat me down next to him, while someone brought me a cup of coffee and something to eat. I chose not to drink the coffee right away.

"Seeing this, Reb Elyah rose from his seat and went to the other table to bring me some sugar. In his weakened state he could barely walk, but he brought the sugar and put some into my cup, although I certainly had not asked him to do this. Someone else could easily have seen to my needs, but Reb Elyah would not have allowed it. There was a chesed to be done, and he would not have allowed any physical difficulties of his own to prevent him from performing this chesed personally."
(Reb Elyah, Rabbi David J. Schlossberg, p.88)

There was a time I went away for shabbos and was told I will be staying in someone’s basement. Nothing more was said. When I got there, the place was set up so beautifully and so fancy! It looked like a hotel. There was a mini fridge in the closet with cold soda, the drawers were filled with Mishpacha Magazines to read, there were a few leather siddurim and leather krias shema cards in another drawer in the night table…I felt so important! I was treated like a queen and felt so special to have such a stunning place set up for me to stay at. This is the way to do this special mitzvah of hachnosas orchim – and without saying much. The hosts of this house truly epitomized “emor me’at v’asay harbei” – say a little and do a lot! Mi K’amcha Yisroel!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Kindness Poem

We may be very different
Yes, we are, me and you.
But we share a common trait
Because I have feelings too.

Don’t you know the hurt,
Of being put to shame?
You don’t like to sit alone
I am just the same.

Just because I’m foreign
And I sometimes act strange too,
Doesn’t mean I need no friends –
I need them just like you!

No one wants to be my partner
No one wants to chat.
I always sit in the corner
Rarely even glanced at.

My clothes are ragged & dirty
And of course, I’m told.
But inside there is a heart
That needs warmth in the cold.

Yes, we may be different
We really are, me and you.
But everyone has feelings
And I have them just like you!

Taken from www.chinuch.org by Miss Antebi

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sefira - Climbing Higher


To continue on where I left off on last post, I wanted to get practical. I felt like the last post was inspirational and can leave the reader feeling like they want to do something to use each day for growth but then the feeling may creep in: Now what?!

How do you get to a level where by the time Shavuos comes around, you can look back and say Wow! I really changed! I used each day to grow and come closer to Hashem!

Let's get real. I know that in the past I haven't been able to look back after 49 days and say that I've really grown.

Change is difficult.

It takes work.

Here's something I heard from my very special married sister that I wanted to share with you because it can make all the difference.

You need to choose something small.

And that is SO true. That's how you can change over the 49 days of sefira.

In Judaism, growth can only be made if you take baby steps.

Little, small, teeny baby steps.

Proof: Sefira is forty nine whole days. That's quite a long time if you think about it! It's not like you are expected to change in a weeks time. No. It's gradual. You have more than a month to change, to prepare for the big day!

Now we are already more than halfway through sefira but I still think it's worth sharing these ideas so that if you haven't started yet, you can still utilize the time that's left to take something little and start making a change.

That's what I said. Something little.

It's up to you to decide where you want to begin.

Here are some ideas:
You want to become a more giving person? You want to work on chessed? Do one small thing every day to help someone else. It can be an anonymous act of kindness (like closing an opened safety pin so it wont prick someone else - I heard this idea at a speech a while back and it really left an impression on me!) or it can be something else - calling someone to let them know you're thinking of them. Whatever it is, make sure it's something small that can be done every day.


You think your
kibbud av va'eim could use a little polishing? That's a hard mitzvah. But if once a day you make sure you had a positive thought about your parents, your mother or your father, you are already on your way up that spiritual ladder. One "thank you" to your parent, one extra chore to help out, one less complaint - and you're getting there.

Are you too connected to technology? Do you want to connect to Hashem but find yourself whipping out your phone/laptop/iPad too often to check your text messages or emails? Once a day, just one time during the day, hold yourself back. Instead, direct your thoughts upward and think a spiritual thought.

Do you want to work on your appreciation to Hashem for all the things He does for you but find yourself complaining about the things going wrong too often? Again, make it a once a day thing - think of something you are thankful for because in reality, Hashem gives you so, so much! Your eyes, your ears, your taste buds, your friends, your family, a healthy body, a digestive system, flowers, sunrise, music, the ability to understand, a job, a home...and the list goes on and on. So take a moment once a day to thank Hashem for ONE THING and then when Shavuos comes, you can look back and say, I've grown in my appreciation to Hashem during this sefira period.

Does your bein adam l'chaveiro need a little tune-up? There are so many ways to improve but just take one little step every day - give someone a sincere compliment. Hold in that urge to answer back for an extra second. Smile at someone when you pass them by in the hallway. Hold the door open for someone walking in behind you. Stop yourself before you respond to someone's gossip. These are hard things but if you take a small step, you can get there at the end of the 49th day.

Can your tefillah use a little more concentration to make it better? Decide that you are going to look into your siddur during one tefillah each day. You can choose the same tefillah, the first one you daven when you open your siddur, or a different one every day. But make sure that at the end of each day you can look back and say that you looked inside once. Because that can really make a difference in the kavanna that you have. When you look inside, you see the words and automatically your brain thinks about what those words mean! It may take a quick second before you get distracted but if you push yourself to look inside again at that tefillah, you'll see a difference in how you are able to concentrate!

There are so many areas that a person can change. When you look at all the ideas thrown out to you here, it may seem overwhelming. But just choose one thing. And take small steps towards your goal. Your goal is that when Shavuos comes around, you will be able to look back at this time with pride knowing that you utilized each day.

But if you do too much, you can fall back and give up because it becomes too hard. Taking something little upon yourself makes it a goal that can be reached.

Happy Climbing!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Giving From the Heart

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you - Do not let this chain of love end with you."

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

What a powerful story indeed. As the old saying goes “What goes around comes around”

As I sat there, thinking of the giving and receiving story, I realized that the concept is so easy and simple to follow. What I have to do is to open my eyes wider and seek for opportunities where I can be of help to someone, anyone today. Be it a kind word, or just merely a smile; a pat on the shoulder or just simply a phone call. I want to be Bryan Anderson. I really do. Now, let me ask you a question: Don't you want to be one too?

Thank you Shaina R. for emailing this story to me.