Tuesday, October 25, 2011


The following question was submitted anonymously.

Q: Can you please explain why we say tehillim when we want to ask Hashem for something. What is special about tehillim? Why not say any other part of tanach? Thank you.

A: One reason why tehillim is the place we turn to is because of the one who wrote it and all that went into writing this special sefer. If you look at the life of Dovid Hamelech you will see that he went through so many different things and through it all, he channeled his emotions to Hashem. When he went through pain (and he went through a lot of that), he turned to Hashem and cried out with words that expressed his deepest feelings. And when things were good, he thanked Hashem. He carried Hashem in his heart wherever he went and never forgot about him.

Dovid Hamelech writes in tehillim "Tzarah v'yagon emtzah u'vesheim Hashem ekra" and "Kos yeshuos esa u'vesheim Hashem ekra". What does this mean?

When things were hard, when he was going through incredible amounts of pain, he turned to Hashem and called out His name. And when things were going great and his cup was overflowing with goodness, he had the same reaction - he called out to Hashem to thank Him.

It's not that difficult to remember who to call out to when things are hard for us. Obviously, we'd call out to Hashem - because He is the One who made us go through it all and He and only He can get us out of it.
But...when things go well and we are experiencing happy, joyous times - THAT is when we have to remember to also call out to Him and thank Him.
You got a good mark on your test? You did well on your term paper? You had a good day at school/work? You heard good news - that someone got engaged/married/had a baby/made a simcha? Don't just let the moment pass. Say thank you to Hashem!

This is just one important lesson to take from Dovid and the sefer tehillim that he wrote. Any point in time can be used to turn to Hashem. Whether it's something difficult you are going through or some sort of happiness you are experiencing. You can always turn to Him and you should always talk to Him.

So why is this the sefer we use at all times? Because look at the author. Dovid Hamelech went through all sorts of pain and he used it all to connect to Hashem and get closer to Him. Any time you are going through something difficult, you can take out a tehillim and start saying a few words. Try to take out one with English translation (unless you understand the Hebrew easily). You'll find the words written there so comforting...sometimes it's amazing how a specific perek can talk straight to you and express just what you are trying to say so perfectly.

Dovid Hamelech also experienced happy times in his life and he used that as a means to connect to Hashem. He didn't forget about Him when things were good.

This is the sefer that has all emotions wrapped up inside it. At any point in time you can take it out and start reading...and use it as a tool to connect to Hashem.
Some people are able to talk to Hashem in their own words when they are going through something difficult or when they are feeling thankful. But some people find it hard to do that. The tehillim can be that bridge. It can help you put your feelings into words and use your emotions to connect to Hashem.

Try it. You'll feel so good after.

Please let me know if this answers your question or if there's anything else you still want to know.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sadness and Simcha?

Q: I just read that Rebbetzen Kanievsky was nifteres. I'm sure you can relate to that pang of "WHAT! But we need her now!" and just the sadness of it all. I know that I shouldn't be sad about it - especially on Chol Hamoed! What is the appropriate response to tragedy in a time of simcha? I have dealt with a close tragedy on Shabbos and dealt with it pretty well but this is just so different...its the Gadol Hador's daughter, husband...this is MAJOR.

A: I am going to try to answer you because you asked me even though I do not feel qualified to be the one to give you a final answer on the proper emotions one is supposed to feel at this time.

Of course I can relate to the shock and the painful feelings...as someone who met Rebbetzin Kanievsky a few times and spoke to her personally, I felt it very strongly when I heard the news. I cried. A lot. It hurt.

We need her now. How can this be? So soon after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. We just lost some really great people this past year. Another one? How will our nation get through this? We need her. We need her zechusim. We need her brachos. We need her tefillos. We need her power.

So many people went to her for brachos. Hashem, look down and see how many of those brachos came true...and how many of them are still waiting to be fulfilled. Please, make them happen!!

She gave so many people her very best wishes and told them to do such and such as a zechus...which they did...but they are still waiting. Hashem, bring those yeshuos already!

I got a bracha from her a while back...she told me to take something specific upon myself-which I did. It was something that was not easy. At all. But I did it. And...the yeshuah came. And I didn't stop doing it...until it just wasn't practical anymore because of what was going on in my life...and I'm sure it was okay.

One of the times I davened mincha in the shul in Bnei Brak where she davens, while I was in middle of shemona esrei, I suddenly felt a feeling of holiness right next to me. It was a feeling that could almost be touched. I looked to the left of me and realized...Rebbetzin Kanievsky was standing and davening right next to me! Apparently, that day people weren't sure if she would be coming at all because she wasn't feeling well. The davening started even though she wasn't there yet. She came a few minutes late, while the shul was in middle of shemona esrei. And she chose to stand right near me. I cannot describe the feeling. Within two seconds, my tefillah was transformed. If I was spacing out or lost my concentration before, by now it was intense and I was concentrating on every word. The holiest person was standing right near me! How could I look out of my siddur or let my mind wander?!

After davening was over, everyone came over to her for a personal bracha and she waited patiently and answered each one...with a smile, with love and care...and with sincerity. To some she told to do one thing as a zechus, to others she just gave a bracha, and to others she said to take something else upon themselves...like she knew what people need to work on.

There are not enough words for me to properly speak about her greatness, her holiness, her purity, her tefillah...but our loss is tremendous.

How should we feel at this time?

It's a mitzvah to be happy on yom tov. But...we lost such a great and holy person!

I don't know. I can't say for sure. What I do know is that when someone passes away on yom tov and their levaya (funeral) is on chol hamoed, there are no hespeidim, just tehillim and kaddish.
That means that we are meant to minimize the amount of sadness we feel...but how can we not feel sad when such a great person passed away? It was a huge loss for our nation!

During the week that my family sat shiva for my brother Shalom a"h, our first cousin got married. It was a wedding we were all very excited for but...we missed it. A friend came to speak to us and told us the following thought.

When we say Shema, we use two expressions of Hashem's name. We say, Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echod which is saying, Listen Klal Yisroel, Hashem (which is an expression of middas harachamim-mercy) Elokeinu (which expresses middas hadin-judgement), Hashem Echod-it's all One! There are times when we feel the mercy of Hashem, the happy, joyous times and there are times when we feel His strict judgement. But we must remember-Hashem Echod. They are both coming from the same Hashem.

It's a time to strengthen our emunah when we feel weak. We must remember that all the things that happen, the good and the seemingly bad, all come from the same One Hashem.
We don't understand.
We want to cry.
We want her back.
We need her zechusim.
But we must remember that we are now in a time of simcha-v'samachta b'chagecha is a real mitzvah. We need to try to be happy despite the pain and feelings of loss.

We don't have to worry about her. She is happy. She is in the best and highest place.
We are the ones who are lost. We are the ones who need to strive higher to become better, holier people.

It's the yom tov of simcha. We are about to celebrate the greatest happiness that there is-the joy of Simchas Torah. It's a time when we (watch the men :) ) dance around the Torah and jump for joy as they sing the tunes we all know and love...ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu - how lucky we are, how good is our portion! We are blessed with the greatest gift ever-the gift of the Torah. Through the Torah we have learned how to live the most awesome, happiest and fulfilling life there is.

Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h lived a life of holiness and purity. Think of her beautiful face next time you are tempted to do something you shouldn't. Her kedushah is way beyond me but...if I think of her more throughout my day it will definitely make a difference.

May you each be able to take a personal message from her passing and try to live your life in a way that is more spiritually elevated.

I may not have fully answered your question so please let me know if there's more you need to hear.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Quote on Forgiveness

Just wanted to share this quote with you.

Forgiveness is not always easy.
At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.