Parshas Va'eira

The purpose of the makkos, besides for punishing the Egyptians, was to reinforce that Hashem is actively involved in running the world. It is because of His will that water flows in rivers and blood flows in our bodies.  

Although we do not see the kind of miracles Hashem performed in mitzrayim, we can look out for Him and find Him in our everyday lives. We can notice and appreciate our healthy bodies. We can marvel at how we met someone who was able to help us at the exact moment we needed them. When things work out smoothly for us, we should acknowledge and thank Hashem for being actively involved in every part of our lives.

May we notice Hashem's perfect hand in the good things that click into place just when we need them!

Miracle

As you prepare for the Yom Tov of Chanukah, a day when every Jew celebrates the miracles of the past and the miracles of the present, you may wonder...What miracles am I experiencing in my life? I just go about my schedule and nothing earth shattering is going on in my life. What am I celebrating? What miracles am I thanking Hashem for?...Just remember this: "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten you are one."

I'm polishing the menorah.

My little Moishy wants to watch me do it. He brings over a chair and stands next to me so he can see how I scrub the menorah until it shines and sparkles.

He wants to understand how it works.

Of course, my little boy wants to touch everything so he can get a better understanding of how it works. If he feels it, he experiences it on another level. So he reaches over to stick his fingers into the silver polish.

I stop him immediately...before his little fingers get close enough.

"Don't touch it, Moishy! That's a chemical. It's not safe for you to touch."

He hears the word chemical and he backs down.

But he wants to feel it.

So...he tries to smell it and again I stop him (not fast enough though :)).

"Eww! It doesn't smell good, Mommy," he tells me.

I know that. And I tell him. I explain...

This is not a safe thing for us. We should not touch it, taste it or smell it.

And I think about how amazing that is. It's amazing that it smells very unpleasant...so that we should know not to take it one step further. Don't touch, don't let these chemicals inside your body, protect yourself.

And I tell him...

Isn't it amazing that Hashem created our bodies to be able to smell things that are dangerous? Isn't it incredible that those dangerous things have an unpleasant smell? And things that are edible and are healthy for us to ingest look and smell appetizing?

Is that not something to marvel at?

You are a miracle. Never forget that.

Why is Chanukah Eight Days?

Here is a compilation of answers to the famous question from the Bais Yosef. Why do we keep 8 days of חנוכה if the נס  was 7 days since there was enough oil to last for one day?

1.      The יונים ransacked the בהמ"ק many days in search of oil to make it טמא. Despite their strength and numbers, they overlooked one flask. A few weak, battle-weary Jews found it immediately. We celebrate the first day to commemorate the miraculous victory over the Greeks.

2.      It would take 8 days to get oil so the Jews divided the oil which contained enough for one night into 8 equal parts. They figured they would light one-eighth of the oil each of the next eight nights. Miraculously, on each of the eight nights, the oil lasted for the entire night.

3.      After they filled the menorah with oil on the first night, the jug remained full on all eight days.

4.      The oil in the cups never burned, the cup remained full the next morning.

5.      ברית מילה was not allowed and after the war they were allowed to do it openly so for the fact that after a baby boy is born we wait 8 days, we have 8 days of חנוכה.

6.      They needed thicker wicks but they used wicks 1/8^th of the normal thickness so it would last for more days. It looked like it was very thick from far and brightened the whole ירושלים. So we light because the first day it was also a נס.

7.      They were not allowed to make a copy of the כלים in the בית המקדש so that’s why we make an 8 branch and not the 7 branch.  

8.      The משכן was completed on כ"ה כסלו  but it was only dedicated in ניסן. To make it up to חדש כסלו, ה' caused נס חנוכה  to occur in כסלו. The dedication of the משכן and the beginning of the עבודה lasted 8 days so we celebrate חנוכה for 8 days. The meaning of חנוכה is dedication- this eludes to this aspect of the celebration.

9.      The first day commemorates the dedication of the second בית המקדש –when it was built.

10.  It was a נס that they found a פך שמן טהור with the seal of the כהן גדול.

11.  The oil was enough for the first night but the מנורה must be lit by day too.

12.  They were forbidden to extinguish the fire on the morning of the first day in order to conserve oil yet the oil continued burning through the eighth evening-(זית רענן)

13.  The eighth day was celebrated out of doubt just like all ימים טובים outside of ארץ ישראל. (ברקי יוסף, תולדות יעקב ויוסף).

14.  They planned on using multiple wicks dipped in oil but the original wicks lasted all day.

15.  The candles didn’t burn out despite the wind outside. They lit the מנורה outdoors because the בהמ"ק was full of ע"ז.

16.  That year כסלו was short but nowadays its long (29 days versus 30 days). We still do the יו"ט from כ"ה כסלו  through ב' טבת even though it is now 8 days rather than only 7.

17.  The מצוה of lighting the מנורה comes right after the מצוה of keeping 8 days of סוכות (7 days+שמעיני עצרת) The חכמים took it as a hint that חנוכה should be 8 days too.

18.  The נס  is not in the quantity of the oil but  quality. That is burned 8 days slower than usual which also occurred on the first day.(ר' יוסף אנגעל)

19.  The oil was enough for lighting מנורה but not for relighting the western light in the morning as it was each day.(חמדת שלמה )

20.  They lit the מנורה before dark on the evening of כד' כסלו so the נס also applied to the end of the first day.

21.  We know that the oil was supposed to burn for one day and the miracle was that it burned for eight days. But, even the oil burning for one day isn’t “supposed” to happen. Everything that happens, even the things that seem like they happen naturally, daily are miracles.טבע  is really נס.

22.  The Zohar says: A bracha can only catch onto something that exists-like when we say Birchas Hamazon we have a piece of bread on the table so that the bracha could catch onto it. So on the first night, the oil burned the full amount of time but obviously, not all the oil was used because there had to be  oil for the next day for the bracha to catch onto So it’s a miracle that it burned the full amount of time but didn’t use all the oil.

23.  The Jews were impure from the battle. They had to use an earthenware menorah temporarily. Because it’s porous, one jar wasn’t enough for the whole day.

24.  That year, כה' כסלו was on Shabbos so they needed extra oil because they had to light the מנורה before Shabbos.

25.  They filled the מנורה, and the next day, it was still full.

26.  When they filled the מנורה, the oil stuck to the jug and so not enough was put in yet it still burned the whole night.

27.  Other Jews lit torches which did not burn out until the end of the 8 days.

28.  They poured a small amount of oil into the מנורה and it filled it all up.

29.  The מנורה needed 3 ½ לוגין of oil. The flask only had 3לוגין .

30.  So that the last day of חנוכה will be the same day that the miracle happened.

31.  Some say that the miracle was 8 days- not 7. (Sefer Pischei Olam)

32.  The flame was lit but no oil was being burnt.

33.  They used aמנורה  that was broken and could not contain a full day’s amount of oil but still, it miraculously burned for a whole day.

34.  They were such צדיקים that when they lit it with such excitement, it should have toppled over but it didn’t. Every day was a נס.

After Yom Kippur

When looking through the machzor on Yom Kippur night, there is one part of the chazzaras hashatz that really spoke to me.

We say mi she'ana l....hu ya'aneinu-He who answered....May He answer us. And there is a different phrase inserted each time. A time Hashem answered someone and we ask Him to please answer our prayers too. 

Avraham Avinu b'har hamoriah...Yosef b'veis ha'asurim...avoseinu b'yam suf...Yehoshuah Bagilgal...Eliyahu b'har hacarmel...Yonah bm'eih hadaga...Chananya, Mishael, V'azaryah b'soch kivshan ha'eish...

Each of these people called out to Hashem at a time of extreme desperation. And Hashem answered them. And the list is quite long.

And I thought to myself...If Hashem saved Yonah from the innards of the fish and Chananya, Mishael and Azarya from inside a burning furnace, can't he help little me? Can't I rely on Him to hear my little prayers? 

I looked at this tefillah and concentrated on the words. I thought about each of the stories. I thought back to the time that these people turned to Hashem because they knew He was the only One who could help them. I thought about what it took for Hashem to save each of them. Hashem made miracles! For Yehoshua, He made the sun stand still in the sky. And for me...I don't need big miracles. I just need Him to help me with my little life. And nothing is too big for Hashem. If He could save three people from inside a burning fire, He surely can save me from the difficulties I am experiencing.

This tefillah gave me a powerful feeling of emunah and trust in Hashem. It helped open my eyes to the awesome power He has. So when I feel hopeless, when I feel lost, when I feel alone, I know that I can turn to Hashem and He can do anything to help things get better. He has such incredible capabilities...and I can ask Him for anything and everything I need and want. Hashem is unlimited...and I need to take advantage of that when I daven to Him...for myself and for those close to me.

Yom Kippur is a day when I try to look back at the previous year and think about the changes...think about where I was a year ago...what was going on in my life...and realize how much was decided just one year before. It's a powerful day...and it scares me. It scares me to think about how much will be sealed on this day for the coming year. Every day, every stress, every change. I davened and continue to hope there will be many good changes this year.

I want to hold on to these feelings. Of relying on Hashem completely and recognizing that it is He who decides what changes will happen in the coming year. It was He who mapped out my life and my challenges. It is He who created me with my specific strengths and weaknesses. He gave me the exact tools I need to overcome the tests of life and become the person I am meant to become. It will take strength, it will take work, but I know that He is the One planning this all. And there is comfort in that knowledge.

This is what succos is about. It's about leaving our large, comfortable homes and going into a small, cozy little house-to be with Hashem. To be in His shadow. To be in His embrace. R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l says that the walls of the sukkah are like a hug from Hashem. After all the inspiration gained from Rosh Hashana, the aseres yimei teshuva and Yom Kippur, Hashem is not ready to let the closeness end. He wants us to come spend even more time with Him. So we enter the walls of the sukkah and it is as if Hashem is giving us a hug. The walls are His arms embracing us. I found that thought so heartwarming. 

Succos is a time to increase our emunah in Hashem. It is a time when we can realize and internalize on a deeper level just how much we depend on Him for everything. We leave our homes to show just that. When we are outside, we can let go of all the outer trappings of our homes-the chandeliers, the bookcases, the drapes on the windows...and focus on what really is important to us. Our spirituality, our relationship with Hashem, living a Torah life and doing the mitzvos. And we remind ourselves how much we rely on Hashem for all the good we have. It is not our hard work that brings the results, it is He who decides exactly how much we should have and how much we should spend, what our expenses will be and how much we will save.

How lucky we are to have these yomim tovim! We have a chance to reflect on our past year and on ourselves as people and think about the changes we want to make. We have an opportunity to renew our commitment when we felt ourselves slipping back. And we are able to strengthen our emunah and trust in Hashem so we can rely on Him with more passion and feeling over the coming year...knowing it is He who we can turn to whenever we need. Because Hashem can do anything. Just like He saved Yosef from the prison in Mitzrayim and Daniel from the lions' den, just like He heard their tefillos, He will hear ours too. And we hope He will answer them and we will have a positive outcome. 

Wishing you all a wonderful and inspiring succos.

Kislev-My Miracles

One of the things I learned from my mother was the importance of expressing gratitude. Not just for the big things but for the little things as well...because they may not be so little. She was very big on thank you cards, sending them out often to those who did favors for her.

Even after my brother Shalom a"h, was niftar, my mother expressed her appreciation to all those who assisted in trying to save his life-the main lifeguard in camp who came running to the scene after he fell from the tree, the assistant lifeguards, the rebbe who said shema with him in the hospital in his last moments...all of them received thank you cards in the mail after my brother passed away. She wanted them to know that our family did not chas v'shalom blame them for not working hard enough and that we were sure they all did their utmost in trying to save Shalom's life...and that this was a decree from Hashem and we were accepting it. They were in no way at fault. And she used those thank you cards to put her feelings into words.

She was always thanking our teachers, the school staff, the delivery guy, the neighbor who did her a favor. She said thank you to the car service driver, giving him a tip, even though this was his job. She'd thank the cashier as she left with her bags....everyone. She took note of every single thing, little and big and showed her hakaras hatov. And I took this lesson from her and try to carry it with me wherever I go.

Just yesterday, I received a phone call from my son's school. A phone call I've been waiting for ever since the beginning of the school year. The person on the other line confirmed that everything was in place and some important paperwork we were waiting for finally went through. Things should be smooth from here on.

Interestingly, the day before I got this phone call, as I left my son's school building knowing I was still waiting, I turned to Hashem and said, "Hashem, that's it. This is in your hands. We did whatever we could and there's nothing else that could be done. Now I'm turning to you and relying on you completely. Please...make this work out already...make it happen soon. How much longer can we wait for this?" 

The next day, I got that phone call...my own, personal miracle.

And after I got that phone call, I sat down and penned the following,

Here's a little note to say thank you,
For all the behind-the-scenes work that you do.
We don't usually get to see the details,
And we don't know exactly what your job entails.
But for us - you worked hard, giving up was not an option
And for that we'd like to express our deepest appreciation.
You kept trying - calling and emailing too,
You listened to our (almost) daily question of "anything new?"
And now that all the paperwork finally came through,
We have two words for you-Thank You!

How much time did it take me to write that? Just a couple of minutes. But do I know how much that thank you means to the one who put in all the work for us?

I learned this from my mother-to take a few minutes to express my appreciation in this way.

***

Just that same evening, something happened that made my heart stop beating. It still continues pounding every time I think about it and replay those few moments in my mind.

I was home alone with my children and was busy in the kitchen when I heard my little baby, who is at the crawling stage, start screaming. I ran into the next room and saw the front door-the door right above my staircase, wide open. My heart froze. I stood at the top of the staircase and for a split-second I knew he fell down the long flight of stairs. 

I was wrong.

I looked down the steps...but he was not there. Then I saw a flash of orange-he was right at the top of the staircase! He was lying up side down, with his head on the third step from the top and his feet on the second step-right where the staircase starts to turn. Had he chas v'shalom been one step lower, where the staircase leads straight down...I can't imagine where I'd be at this moment. But I wouldn't be here typing up this blog post.

I scooped up my baby and hugged him so tightly, my hands trembling and shaking. I kissed him and cried knowing that I just experienced my own little miracle.

I felt like...this is what I needed right now. I needed this two second scare as a reminder of what I have and what I need to appreciate. I have three little miracles in my care, three precious little children. Although it's true that Hashem watches over them, over me, every minute of the day, it took this to show me just how closely He is watching over my family.

Today is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. It is the month of miracles. The month when we experienced the miracle of Chanukah-of light in the darkness. 

May you each experience your own personal miracles this month and may you feel Hashem illuminating your path, illuminating your life. May the darkness you've experienced be transformed into light and may you be blessed to notice and appreciate the miracles in your life...because the small miracles...they are really big.

A gutten chodesh.

It's a Boy!

I'm sitting in the hospital bed holding a precious little baby in my arms. I look at him and I see purity and perfection. Two perfect little eyes squeezed tightly shut, a teeny little nose and mouth, ears in just the right spot on the side of his face and ten teeny little fingers. So small and so perfect.

What a miracle. After nine months (and 5 and a half hours of labor), I finally got to hear..."It's a boy!"

I look at my son and wonder. How did this all come to be? A newborn baby is such a miracle. When everything goes the way it should and the baby is healthy, I cannot help but thank Hashem. There are so many little details that go into a healthy child. Everything is fine. I am so grateful. I hold him in my arms and watch him breathing...his chest moves up and down, up and down...I can look at him for hours and I wouldn't get bored.

My little baby was born on shabbos and just had his bris this past shabbos. When he got his name, it was a very emotional moment. I held back the tears while it was announced...Moshe Simcha. We chose the name Moshe after my (husband's) grandmother's brother who was killed in the holocaust and we added the name Simcha. Moshe was 10 years old when he was killed but he did have a miracle during that time. He dug himself out of a pile of dead bodies and somehow found his sister, my grandmother and they were able to spend some time together.

When a baby cries during the bris milah, it is a big eis ratzon and a time to daven. My baby certainly cried-plenty.

What is the meaning behind this mitzvah?

Jews believe that everything Hashem gave us can be used for spirituality. We elevate the food we eat by making a bracha and we enjoy different treats, nosh (and junk!) on shabbos-because shabbos is a day where we are supposed to enjoy ourselves. Even the junk food gets elevated-just by enjoying it on this special day.

Hashem gave us bodies to be used for something spiritual-marriage. When a little boy gets a bris milah, there is a message being given over-even though he is too young to understand it. Your body is holy, your body is special. His parents hope and pray, during that special time while he is crying, that he use his body for purity and that he keeps himself holy. Temptations are out there and it's easy to fall. Every Jewish boy has this as a reminder, a reminder that his body is holy...and he should know that if he saves it for marriage it will be all the more worth it.

As a girl you should know that your body is beautiful and there's a good reason why we are told to keep it covered. It's not that you're ugly, no way! You have a special beauty that no one can take away from you. When you have something beautiful, you keep it hidden. Just like a precious diamond is kept covered in a velvet case and just like a wedding gown is kept covered and protected and only taken out for when it is needed, your body is special and you aren't meant to walk around exposed and showing it off. It is meant to be saved for a special time when you are married. And if you save it and are careful now, it will be so much more exciting and so much more special when the right time comes!

So as my baby cried, I davened for him. I davened that he should be able to internalize this message and use his body for holy things only. That he should be able to hold back from all the temptations that are out there and keep himself pure.

I look at my son and all I see is an innocent little child. No aveiros, no impurities. And I just wish he could stay that way-totally and completely pure. It's a scary world out there and I can't protect him forever. But I know that he has this mitzvah to carry along with him and I hope he will keep the message with him always.

I thank Hashem for giving me a perfect, healthy little baby. He is precious, he is pure and he is mine.

Mazel tov!

The Seventh Day of Chanukah

There’s a famous question that’s asked about Chanukah.

Why is Chanuka eight days when the miracle only lasted for seven days since there was enough oil to last for one day?

There are many, many answers to this question. I just want to share one of them with you.

There was once someone who didn’t have enough money to buy oil so they used vinegar instead and said, "The same One who commanded oil to burn can make vinegar burn." And…it did burn! We learn from this that the very fact that oil burns is a miracle too and is a reason to celebrate another day of Chanukah.

The natural events in our lives are really miracles and we should realize that just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it will be that way and when things go right and are they way they are supposed to be, we should thank Hashem!

Today, the seventh day of Chanukah, is a special day for our family-it’s Chaya Gitty’s 1st (Hebrew) birthday. It’s a day to reflect upon this past year and realize that all the things that seem so normal and regular for a baby’s development are really miraculous. There’s no real reason why a baby should smile at the right time, roll over when the books say she should, crawl, coo, and start to talk (and almost walk!) before their first birthday. Who says this is normal? Who says this is the way it’s supposed to be? Why is this the way things go? It really is more than just regular to see a little baby begin to develop into a real person!

It’s a day for me to realize that all the little things that go right, all her milestones at the right times are reasons to be thankful.

She’s had her fair share of doctor visits (okay, maybe we’ve been there too many times than I would have liked) but baruch Hashem they were for regular things-ear infections, viruses and well visits. But she is healthy. We don’t spend our time worrying and running from doctor to doctor…She’s talking more than her brother did at a year, saying mommy, tatty, baby, cracker, all done, bye-bye, she waves her hand, she says moo and baa (!!) and she tries to imitate things we say to her. She is a normal, regular, healthy baby but really…who defines normal? Who says this is the way things should be? When things go the way they should and everything is smooth, it is a time to stop and thank Hashem for the regular things.

And we learn this lesson from Chanukah. The first day that the oil burned was just as miraculous as the next seven days. And that is why Chanukah lasts for eight days instead of seven. To remind us that the things that seem so normal and regular are really reasons to celebrate and be thankful.

So spend some time today thinking about the things in your life that are not out of the ordinary. That are the way they should be. Thank Hashem for the regular, the normal, the routine…because they really are reasons to be grateful.

Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Yes. Small hidden miracles happen every day and we should look out for, notice and appreciate them!

Happy Chanukah! And happy birthday CG!

Anyone else have any reasons to share for the famous question of why Chanukah is eight days instead of seven? You can comment, submit it anonymously on the right sidebar or send me an email. If I get enough answers, maybe I’ll post it and share it with all you readers :-).

What Will You Pray For?

Rosh Hashana is coming up...and fast. It's a big day and a day with potential for a lot of things.

I think back to this year and some of the many things that happened to me personally and to the people close to me. Things that happened in the world around us. So many things happened this year. Some good. And some...not so good. There were simchos, so many happy things that happened this year - engagements, babies born, milestones, weddings...and there were tough things that happened to. I met people I never thought I would, made a new (and precious) friendship, and lost out on a relationship too.

Sometimes, before Rosh Hashana, I go through each month of the year - and each yom tov - just to remind myself of the different things that happened this year. I want to remember the details so I can remind myself that there is so much happening on high on this huge day. You can do it too. It helps put things in perspective before Rosh Hashana starts. Tishrei and all that came with last Rosh Hashana (I was in the emergency room with my mother-I wrote a post on it last year), Yom Kippur and Succos...skipping over to Kislev, Chanukah, when I gave birth to my daughter, Chaya Gitty...Adar and Purim, Nissan and Pesach, Counting towards Shavuos...so so many things happened this year.

This coming Rosh Hashana, I will not be in shul. Baruch Hashem, I have a job-to take care of my children. It's a tough transition, from a day full of spirituality and holiness, in shul with everyone else, to playing on the floor with little kids and keeping them entertained and happy. So I'll probably get to daven a little bit while my kids take a nap but...it's not the same as spending the day in shul, looking down at the men in their talleisim and just getting caught up in the emotion of the day along with everyone else.

But this is my job. I'm not complaining. It's a bracha. It's just something I'm not used to yet. In a few years I'll be used to this new reality. But for now, it's just so new and so...different.

And so I decided after so many different things that have been going on, that this year, my tefillos are going to be different. I'm not going to have that much time to daven all the real things that are in the machzor, where we crown Hashem as King and request all the things we need so that we can do our job in this world properly.

There are so many things that we all need - personally, for ourselves, for our families, for our friends and those close to us. Every single person has needs and the outside can be quite tricky but deep down inside each person knows that it all comes from Hashem and we only have Him to rely on. For yeshuos in every form. For the sick people to be healed. For the childless to give birth. For engagements and weddings...parnassa...clarity...children coming back and choosing the right path...for proper guidance in chinuch...keeping our children on the derech and making them love being frum...for shalom bayis...for answers to our questions...for the ultimate redemption.

And so, this year, I am going to be praying for...miracles. For things that only Hashem can do and nobody else. We all know deep down that everything comes from Him but...when it comes from a natural place, when you can look at a yeshuah and give credit to another person, it's easy to forget who it really came from.

Things are so confusing. I don't understand why things happen. I know there's a reason but I don't have all the answers.
I know Who to turn to and it's to Him I will pray.
It's to Him I will ask...for miracles.
Because He can do anything.

This Rosh Hashana, what will you pray for?

Purim Poem

Here's the poem I'm attaching to my mishloach manos.
Purim is a day of great celebration
Because we as Jews merited a miraculous salvation
We were in danger of being completely wiped out
But HaKadosh Baruch Hu heard our cries and our shouts

It was in the zechus of our tefillos and the teshuva that we did
That Hashem spared us from destruction-each and every yid
Let's take the message from the Purim Story deep inside our hearts
And try to work on fixing something-it's never too late to start

Sometimes we get distracted by costumes and themes
But let's not forget the nes purim and the lesson that it brings
Let's strengthen our resolve to daven with more concentration
And ask Hashem to redeem us-the entire Jewish Nation

Just like the yiddin in Shushan saw a big miracle in their times
Let's hope for a nes purim in our very own lives.
Let's all daven and beg for this galus to end
When Moshiach ben Dovid, Hashem will finally send!

Please note, if you found this poem and are planning to use it for personal use, I would appreciate if you can email me or leave a comment to let me know. 
Thank you.