After Aleinu

I recently heard this story and was so inspired by the message. It was too good and I wanted to share it.

The men were standing around waiting while the shul slowly filled up with people who were gathering to daven mincha.

As they were almost ready to begin, a young teenager ran into shul and started davening very quickly. He didn't look like he was having much concentration in his tefillos. Some of the congregants gave him a look, others snorted and some elderly men were vocal in their disdain for what they called "today's generation."

One man went so far as to approach this young boy and chastise him. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" The man asked. "Is this the way you walk in to shul and daven? You are an embarrassment to the whole kehillah who gathered to daven here!"

The rest of the shul was silent as they continued on with their prayers.

At the end of davening, after aleinu, all the congregants were shocked when they heard this young boy meekly raise his voice to recite kaddish yasom, a special kaddish only recited by an orphan during the first eleven months after the death of their parent.

So he's a yasom! This poor boy is an orphan!

The man who had approached him earlier with his rude comments was so embarrassed, he could barely raise his head to look at the boy. But he gathered his strength and went over to the boy to ask him for mechila.

"I just didn't know! I didn't know about your painful circumstance! I'm so very sorry..."

So many times we look at people and judge them. For their behavior, for their misbehavior or for the way they keep or don't keep certain parts of the Torah. We think they should act differently. Sometimes we keep these thoughts to ourselves and other times we actually yell at the person, all with good intentions. We want them to know that what they are doing is wrong. We want them to know we don't approve of their actions.

But so many times, we just don't know the full story.

So many times, we don't know the reason behind their behavior.

So many times, there is a very painful reason for why they are acting the way they are.

And so many times, we have to wait until "after aleinu" to be able to get a glimpse into the reason why.

It's only "after aleinu," when kaddish yasom is said that we are able to understand why. That we realize that there's pain behind the behavior.

May we be able to accept those who act differently, be understanding of their challenges and be able to give them strength and encouragement to get through the tough times so they can blossom, grow and shine.

Mindfulness

The following article was written by Sarala. Her message is so relevant and practical. I hope you will enjoy it and gain from it as much as I did!

Mindfulness:
The Space and Pause of Life

Mindfulness is that buzz word that’s getting increasingly popular in today’s vernacular. It’s a popular form of therapy and is being used by many people. At first, I didn’t like Mindfulness. It required a lot of work which I didn’t like. But, as I learnt more about it, I became very fond of it and appreciated its benefits. So, what is Mindfulness, you ask? Mindfulness is defined as focused attention. It’s simply focusing our attention on the here and now; on the present moment. It’s being present and fully engaged in whatever it is that we’re doing. In other words, the goal of mindfulness is to center oneself and feel grounded.

Among many benefits, Mindfulness has the power to increase our ability to focus and offer us an inner sense of peace. When we mindfully engage in daily activities, we feel a sense of purposefulness and are calm, centered and grounded. Personally, I try to practice it when I need a break and to slow myself down. For instance, I practice it when I’m waiting for my bus to come (and I have nothing better to do other then look at my phone ;). I’ll notice the temperature, the green grass, the cars going by, the design of the houses around me and many more aspects of my surroundings. I find that this brief “vacation” gives me the space that I need. It puts a temporary pause on life and brings me back with a clearer mind. I like to think of it as the pause between the stimulus and response.  

Mindfulness also has a place in the Torah. In fact, Mindfulness enhances our ability to live as Torah true Jews. Increased focus allows us to perform Mitzvas at optimum level. For example, I try to slow down and focus when davening Shemona Esrai. I like to understand the meaning behind the words and to simply remind myself Who I’m talking to. Similarly, I try to channel my concentration when reciting Asher Yatzar and thank Hashem that I can say it.

However, with all this said, it’s all too easy to let our mind wander (which it does a lot!) and mentally prepare ourselves for whatever we want to do next. For me, one part of me wants to focus on the activity at hand, and the other part wants to get on with my next activity. Both options leave me feeling frustrated and annoyed. If I know that my task at hand needs my focus, then why is my attention in 10 other places? But that’s precisely the challenge of mindfulness! The good news is that the more we practice and refocus our attention, the better we’ll get at it. As they say, practice makes perfect. (I hear my phone buzzing right now, but I’m practicing what I’m preaching and trying to stay focused ;).)

The Present

The following was written by Sarala, a very unique and special individual. She shared it with me and gave me permission to post it so you can also be inspired.

The Present is a Present

A young couple was eating out in a restaurant. After a few moments of pleasant chatting, their food arrived. Starving, they each dived in but abruptly stopped in their tracks when they noticed a piece of paper neatly folded into 4 sections. They each opened it up and read it. It read: “The Present Moment is a Present. Use it Wisely.”

The couple looked at each other questioningly. They didn’t have to comment. The look on their faces verbalized their thoughts. “What in the world?? What is this??” They slowly recovered and regained their composure and read the note a couple of more times. They remembered that their food was waiting for them and quickly dived in. But this time it was done a bit differently: They recited a bracha slowly and carefully while trying to understand its meaning.

While this story is made up, the message is very clear and relevant to us. How many times do we lose sight of precious moments and squander many opportunities? How many of us fall into the trap of boredom when we can easily channel the moment into something elevated?

I would like to share a personal example to bring this point home:

I take the city bus to work. The bus ride is not long at all; it’s about 10 minutes. All too often, I find myself thinking about what I can/should do and therefore, lose the moment. When I catch myself, I shift my attention to the present moment and try to experience it as much as I can. For example, I take note of the cold air on my face. I challenge myself to observe my surroundings – the trees, flowers, cars and people passing by. Although this sounds simple and elementary, it is extremely important. It’s vital that we observe, take note and enjoy each moment. Because, The Present is a Present.

Food For Thought: Hashem gave us all the same amount of seconds. The difference lies in how we choose to use them.

The equation below is copied and pasted from: https://www.rapidtables.com/calc/time/seconds-in-day.html

1 day = 24 hours/day × 60 minutes/hour × 60 seconds/minute = 86400 seconds/day. 

Let's use the many seconds in our day to enjoy the presents we've been given, by living in the present!

Baby Talk

I wrote this last year and wanted to share the message with you again.

"Aah-pi-dee coo-key"

I'm walking back from the bus stop with my baby and my neighbor. 

"He wants me to open his bag of cookies...isn't that cute?"

"I would have no clue what he was talking about!" she says.

And I'm reminded about something I heard a while back about tefillah and the way we daven. 

When a little baby or toddler who is just learning how to talk starts to communicate in his own language, only his own parents can truly understand the things he is saying. He is not using real words yet, just a combination of sounds...but every sound has real meaning...to him. And his mother and father know exactly what he means to say with each sound that comes out of his mouth. 

But a stranger wouldn't understand at all. 

When we daven, there are times when we mumble the words, don't pronounce them correctly...and just rush through our tefillos. We can't always say the words the way they were meant to be said, with the proper pronunciation and concentration. 

After all, we are human beings.

But Hashem is our Father. And He understands the thoughts and feelings behind the words we say. He understand what we really mean to say, even if sometimes we're talking in baby talk.

He knows we really want to praise Him. He knows that we really mean to ask him for health, parnassah, refuos and yeshuos. He knows that when we go through shemona esrei and we don't really think about the meaning of every single word, we really do want to. We want to do it right. 

But sometimes we stumble. 

Sometimes we mumble.

Sometimes we don't think into the meaning of the things we are saying and asking for.

And He understands our baby talk.

But...does that mean we should stay that way? Just because He understands, should we talk like little kids? 

Of course not. 

Let's try. 

Let's grow up.

Let's work on our concentration.

On our pronunciation.

On saying our brachos and tefillos the way they were meant to be said.

Because even though Hashem understands that we mean a lot more than "baruchata...borei minaymezonos..." or "selachlanu...mechalanu", we might as well put in the effort and talk big...like adults...like a professional businessman. Like someone who knows his stuff. 

Hashem is always listening. He understands our innermost thoughts and feelings...even when we can't express them in words.

But when it's time to daven, when it's time to say our brachos, when it's time to bench, to ask Hashem for things we need and thank Him for the things He gives us, let's try to do it right.

Enough with the baby talk. It's cute...but at some point we need to grow up.

I open the bag of cookies for my baby and he spills most of it on the floor. But I understand. He's just a baby. He asks for things and he can't even enjoy all of it. But I'm his mother...and so I give.

Hashem knows us so much better. He knows what is good for us, what we need...and what we want...and when the time is right for us to get it. He is our Father...and He gives us...so much good.

May you be able to express yourself properly with the words of your tefillos and brachos...and mature in your tefillos from baby talk to big-girl talk!

Baby Talk

"Aah-pi-dee coo-key"

I'm walking back from the bus stop with my baby and my neighbor. 

"He wants me to open his bag of cookies...isn't that cute?"

"I would have no clue what he was talking about!" she says.

And I'm reminded about something I heard a while back about tefillah and the way we daven. 

When a little baby or toddler who is just learning how to talk starts to communicate in his own language, only his own parents can truly understand the things he is saying. He is not using real words yet, just a combination of sounds...but every sound has real meaning...to him. And his mother and father know exactly what he means to say with each sound that comes out of his mouth. 

But a stranger wouldn't understand at all. 

When we daven, there are times when we mumble the words, don't pronounce them correctly...and just rush through our tefillos. We can't always say the words the way they were meant to be said, with the proper pronunciation and concentration. 

After all, we are human beings.

But Hashem is our Father. And He understands the thoughts and feelings behind the words we say. He understand what we really mean to say, even if sometimes we're talking in baby talk.

He knows we really want to praise Him. He knows that we really mean to ask him for health, parnassah, refuos and yeshuos. He knows that when we go through shemona esrei and we don't really think about the meaning of every single word, we really do want to. We want to do it right. 

But sometimes we stumble. 

Sometimes we mumble.

Sometimes we don't think into the meaning of the things we are saying and asking for.

And He understands our baby talk.

But...does that mean we should stay that way? Just because He understands, should we talk like little kids? 

Of course not. 

Let's try. 

Let's grow up.

Let's work on our concentration.

On our pronunciation.

On saying our brachos and tefillos the way they were meant to be said.

Because even though Hashem understands that we mean a lot more than "baruchata...borei minaymezonos..." or "selachlanu...mechalanu", we might as well put in the effort and talk big...like adults...like a professional businessman. Like someone who knows his stuff. 

Hashem is always listening. He understands our innermost thoughts and feelings...even when we can't express them in words.

But when it's time to daven, when it's time to say our brachos, when it's time to bench, to ask Hashem for things we need and thank Him for the things He gives us, let's try to do it right.

Enough with the baby talk. It's cute...but at some point we need to grow up.

I open the bag of cookies for my baby and he spills most of it on the floor. But I understand. He's just a baby. He asks for things and he can't even enjoy all of it. But I'm his mother...and so I give.

Hashem knows us so much better. He knows what is good for us, what we need...and what we want...and when the time is right for us to get it. He is our Father...and He gives us...so much good.

May you be able to express yourself properly with the words of your tefillos and brachos...and mature in your tefillos from baby talk to big-girl talk!