Flame of Hope

There are many answers to the famous question of the Bais Yosef. If there was enough oil to last for one day, why do we celebrate Chanukah for eight days if the miracle was only for the seven extra days that the oil burned?

There is a powerful lesson to be learned from that first day. 

We are commemorating the fact that those Jews even bothered lighting the oil they had on that first day. They could have said, if we only have enough oil for one day and it'll take eight days to get new oil, we'll light it the day before we have new oil so we will have continuous light from the day we light it. But a Jew doesn't work that way. A Jew doesn't look at his resources and decide what the outcome will be based on the facts. He relies on Hashem for results. He does the best he can with whatever he has and leaves the rest in Hashem's hands.

This is what we are celebrating. And we remember this lesson each year when we celebrate Chanukah for eight days instead of seven. That first day is what we are celebrating. It's not extra. It's essential. It helps us internalize that no matter how dark things are or how challenging our lives are, we do whatever we can with the resources we have and have faith in Hashem that things will work out in the best possible way.

We all have goals, hopes and dreams. And sometimes we don't know how we'll ever be able to accomplish the things we want. What we want seems too difficult to achieve. 

But we have to try. We need to put our best foot forward and utilize whatever little abilities we have to start. And then we trust in Hashem to help us reach the finish line.

This is what those Jews did so many years ago. They didn't have enough oil to last for eight days, until they'd have more, pure oil. But it didn't matter. They lit what they had and Hashem allowed that light, and essentially the flame of hope and faith, to remain lit until they'd have more oil to keep the menorah's light glowing.

It's the first day of Chanukah that we are memorializing. That's the day that is most important to all the days that come afterwards. It's the day that infuses hope into the rest of this holiday and into the darkness of our lives. The first day teaches us to take that first step when we are scared, to try when we are unsure if we'll succeed. Because ultimately, it's our emunah when things are tough that will help us pull through and keep trying.

May we be able to take this lesson to heart, have hope when things are dark, and try even when we don't have enough resources to achieve the outcome we're hoping for. And may Hashem reward us for having faith in Him by exceeding our hopes and dreams!

Happy Chanukah! 

Candle

How does it work when we do something positive as a zechus for someone else? If they benefit, do we lose out on our reward?

The mitzvos we do are compared to a candle. Like it says, "Ner Mitzvah v'Torah Ohr." 

In the same way that a candle does not lose any of its own light when used to ignite the flame of another candle, when we do mitzvos to benefit someone else, they gain and so do we. They get the spiritual benefit of our good deed and we also get rewarded for the good that we did.

This is how we can do mitzvos as a zechus for the neshama of someone close to us to go higher in gan eden. When we do the mitzvah, whatever it is, tzeddakah, tehillim, chessed, refraining from doing something not-so-good, their neshama gets elevated in shamayim. At the same time, we get the spiritual benefit of doing that act. We grow in our middos and build up a storehouse of reward that will wait for us.

That is the beauty of a candle! It can bring light to others and brighten our own life. And every mitzvah we do for a neshama lifts them up higher. It's like sending a present to them in shamayim. And we don't lose out one bit. We gain from the mitzvah too.

May you be able to use your time in this world to bring light and blessing into the lives of everyone you know. May the zechusim you do for others bring light into your own life while enlightening theirs!

Forgiveness

This was posted before. I think it's something important to read at this time of year.

The following question was submitted anonymously.

If a person feels they can't forgive someone, must they say they forgive them?

They don't want to forgive them because they caused them so much pain, however they don't want to suffer the consequences of that action. What to do?

I'm sure that there are other people reading this blog that also have this question and I'm so glad you asked it so I can try to answer it for all those who were wondering but just didn't ask. I really respect you for trying to find a way to get past the hurt and work on really forgiving others for the pain they have caused you-that is really something to look up to!

Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing. On one hand, someone else hurt you and on the other hand, you know it is a very dangerous thing to hold on to the past without letting go.

One important thing to remember is that every single thing that happens to you is from Hashem. Of course we all know that as a fact but internalizing it and really feeling it when things are tough or when someone hurts your feelings is another story. If a person hurts your feelings, says something to make you feel bad, embarrasses you or does anything that makes you not want to forgive them, know that this is all from Hashem. S/he cannot do anything to hurt you if Hashem didn't want it to be that way.

Maybe it's a kapparah - if you are embarrassed in public or if someone says something to hurt your feelings and you don't answer back, you are seriously erasing your aveiros in a way that you cannot imagine! And what a better time to get your aveiros erased than before Yom Kippur! I'm sure we can all use that - a quick "delete" of our sins so we can become cleansed.

Maybe this is a way for you to work on your middos, on being more accepting, on not letting things get to you. If someone hurt you in a way that made you feel really bad, you need to think about it-why does this hurt me so much? Maybe I'm holding on to something too strongly and I need to let it get past me?

And maybe it happened for unknown reasons-unknown to you, that is. Because Hashem has a plan, He knows what He is doing and just know that this is all for your good, for the good of your neshama, for your spiritual growth. You can take this as a way to let yourself become a more giving, forgiving person.

Keep telling yourself again and again no one can hurt me in any way unless Hashem wants it to be. I may not understand why He wants this to happen, but I know that whatever happens in my life is not in my control. I will work on myself to look past the things that hurt me so I can forgive.

Forgiveness is not for the other person-it's for yourself. It's so that you learn to become a better person, a person who can give in, a person who can say it's okay.

Now, don't get me wrong, you should not let yourself become a doormat. If someone keeps hurting you again and again, perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship and see if it is going in the right direction. I don't know who it is that hurt you that you are trying to forgive - but know that if it is someone with whom you can end a relationship or maybe make them realize your side, maybe you need to do that: talk it over. Tell the person that you feel hurt by whatever was done/said to you. Try to get that person to understand your side.

Also, some things are so trivial, so unimportant that when you will look back in a little while, you will realize that it was so not worth getting upset about. Of course, right now when you are in that situation, it hurts and it hurts terribly. But when you look back after you are over and done with it, you will be able to see that these things pass and things will get better.

You may have heard that if you forgive other people, especially when it's hard for you, Hashem will forgive you. What could be better than that? Now, before Yom Kippur, don't we all want forgiveness for our aveiros? By you going the extra step and saying, I will find it within myself to forgive this person and get past the pain, Hashem will forgive you for the things you may have done that were "too much"!

I hope this helps answer your question and if you still have more to add, you can email me, submit another question anonymously or just drop a comment. Either way, can you please leave a comment to let me know that you read this post and if it helped at all?

May you be able to forgive all those who have hurt you with a light heart and may this year be one where we all achieve full forgiveness from Hashem!

Reward and Punishment

Q: Is there such a thing as reward and punishment in this world?

A: It says that the schar, the reward of a mitzvah is the opportunity to do another mitzvah which will make a person earn even more olam haba! It's like if someone does a good job at work - they are paid for it anyway, but what does his boss do? He raises them to a higher position in their office so then they pay goes up as well! More opportunities means more reward!

I don't like to think of pain as a punishment, rather, I look at it as a kapparah, an atonement, for something a person may have done wrong and it's giving them a chance to erase their aveiros and turn them into mitzvos by using their painful experiences as a wake up call to change and become better! This is such a chessed from Hashem! Instead of waiting until the person comes in front of Him (after 120 years) to give a din v'cheshbon - an accounting - for each thing they did wrong in their life, Hashem gives them a chance to correct their misdeeds and change - all while they are still alive! What a gift this is!!

Teshuva and Snow

Who writes about Teshuva in the middle of the winter? Isn't that something we only talk about during Elul - the month before Rosh Hashana?

The truth is, teshuva is something we should be focusing on every day. I know it is emphasized very strongly in Elul but we mention forgiveness in shemona esrei every day in the bracha of selach lanu when we say, forgive us Hashem because we have sinned...

We all do aveiros. We all do things we shouldn't. Then we look back and feel bad. Guilty. Regret. And we wish we can wipe it all away. And luckily, we can! Hashem has given us the gift of teshuva - the ability to start fresh and begin all over again.

Hashem says, if your sins would be as red as scarlet, I'll cleanse you so it will be as white as snow. What is the connection between teshuva and snow - besides for that white, clean color?

When you watch someone shoveling snow from afar, it looks so easy. But when you try to do it on your own, you realize how much strength and energy it takes to make a path for people to walk on. It may be easy to tell other people to change, watch them do the wrong thing and criticize. It's so much simpler to tell the world exactly what is wrong but when it comes to changing yourself, now that's real work. Instead of judging other people and noticing the things they are doing that need to be changed, look at yourself and realize what you have to do to become better.

The longer you leave the snow on the ground without shoveling, the harder it gets to actually get rid of it because it becomes hard and icy. The longer you let that aveirah stay in your heart, the harder it can get to work on it - because your heart becomes icy, hard like stone and when you get used to doing the wrong thing, it doesn't seem so bad anymore so you may not even think it's something you need to change. But if you notice right away that you did something you should not have and you talk to Hashem about it, you will have an easier time with the teshuva process.

Tell Hashem, I'm sorry I did this. I know it's wrong. I wasted my time. I looked at, and listened to things I shouldn't have. I yelled. I got angry. I wasn't honest. I wasn't respectful to my parents/teachers. I said things I should never have said. The things I have done dirtied my neshama and I want to make it clean again. Please Hashem, help me overcome the temptation next time it arises! I cannot do it without your help!!

Also, when one person makes a path in the snow, they have now made it easier for everyone else to walk on that street/road. You will not know about all the people who have walked down that path after you shoveled, but you surely deserve to be rewarded for every person who benefited from your hard work. When you change for the better, other people are looking and you can influence them without even knowing about it. When you decide to do something because it's right or not to do something because it's wrong, you don't know who is watching you and how you can cause them to copy you (If she can do it, so can I!)- and then the reward is yours to keep!

So take a lesson from the snow and try to focus on something that you can change now. You will feel cleansed after!!

Forgiveness

The following question was submitted anonymously.

If a person feels they can't forgive someone, must they say they forgive them?

They don't want to forgive them because they caused them so much pain, however they don't want to suffer the consequences of that action. What to do?

I'm sure that there are other people reading this blog that also have this question and I'm so glad you asked it so I can try to answer it for all those who were wondering but just didn't ask. I really respect you for trying to find a way to get past the hurt and work on really forgiving others for the pain they have caused you-that is really something to look up to!

Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing. On one hand, someone else hurt you and on the other hand, you know it is a very dangerous thing to hold on to the past without letting go.

One important thing to remember is that every single thing that happens to you is from Hashem. Of course we all know that as a fact but internalizing it and really feeling it when things are tough or when someone hurts your feelings is another story. If a person hurts your feelings, says something to make you feel bad, embarrasses you or does anything that makes you not want to forgive them, know that this is all from Hashem. S/he cannot do anything to hurt you if Hashem didn't want it to be that way.

Maybe it's a kapparah - if you are embarrassed in public or if someone says something to hurt your feelings and you don't answer back, you are seriously erasing your aveiros in a way that you cannot imagine! And what a better time to get your aveiros erased than before Yom Kippur! I'm sure we can all use that - a quick "delete" of our sins so we can become cleansed.

Maybe this is a way for you to work on your middos, on being more accepting, on not letting things get to you. If someone hurt you in a way that made you feel really bad, you need to think about it-why does this hurt me so much? Maybe I'm holding on to something too strongly and I need to let it get past me?

And maybe it happened for unknown reasons-unknown to you, that is. Because Hashem has a plan, He knows what He is doing and just know that this is all for your good, for the good of your neshama, for your spiritual growth. You can take this as a way to let yourself become a more giving, forgiving person.

Keep telling yourself again and again no one can hurt me in any way unless Hashem wants it to be. I may not understand why He wants this to happen, but I know that whatever happens in my life is not in my control. I will work on myself to look past the things that hurt me so I can forgive.

Forgiveness is not for the other person-it's for yourself. It's so that you learn to become a better person, a person who can give in, a person who can say it's okay.

Now, don't get me wrong, you should not let yourself become a doormat. If someone keeps hurting you again and again, perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship and see if it is going in the right direction. I don't know who it is that hurt you that you are trying to forgive - but know that if it is someone with whom you can end a relationship or maybe make them realize your side, maybe you need to do that: talk it over. Tell the person that you feel hurt by whatever was done/said to you. Try to get that person to understand your side.

Also, some things are so trivial, so unimportant that when you will look back in a little while, you will realize that it was so not worth getting upset about. Of course, right now when you are in that situation, it hurts and it hurts terribly. But when you look back after you are over and done with it, you will be able to see that these things pass and things will get better.

You may have heard that if you forgive other people, especially when it's hard for you, Hashem will forgive you. What could be better than that? Now, before Yom Kippur, don't we all want forgiveness for our aveiros? By you going the extra step and saying, I will find it within myself to forgive this person and get past the pain, Hashem will forgive you for the things you may have done that were "too much"!

I hope this helps answer your question and if you still have more to add, you can email me, submit another question anonymously or just drop a comment. Either way, can you please leave a comment to let me know that you read this post and if it helped at all?

May you be able to forgive all those who have hurt you with a light heart and may this year be one where we all achieve full forgiveness from Hashem!

Questions, Answers & Their Importance

These questions were submitted anonymously by the same person and answered by R' Dovid Levine.

Q: Why did Hashem bring us a neshama if we would get big troubles in life?
A: Hashem gave us a neshama so we could choose to do His will, rectify the world according to His plan, and, consequently, enjoy indescribable eternal pleasure.

Q: I have always wondered why does Hashem try to hide His face doesn't he want us to know He is there with us at all times?
A:Hashem hides because we are not great enough for Him to show Himself and still have free will. For the world to reach its purpose, we need to have free will to serve him. If He showed Himself, everyone would feel no choice but to do the right thing. Also, in order to increase our accomplishments and reward, Hashem raises the challenge by hiding in nature.

Q: I have recently learned that there is four different kind of galus there all very bad the one we are in is very very long why does there have to be more than one different galus?
A: The world needs to travel a long path to rectification. We need to travel along four roads of galus to reach the objective. Each one of the four roads bring us closer to the ultimate redemption.

Q: Its been years years and a lot of years! when will moshiach finally come!
Q: I heard all about moshiach but how do I really know it will come? how do I know its not a joke I hear all about it
A: The more important question is are we doing our job. Moshiach is mostly Hashem’s business, and it is not supposed to be the focus of our life. We need to focus on fulfilling the mitzvos and improving our emunah and middos.
We get great reward when we have doubts and still try to accept what the Torah says. The Torah refers to Moshiach and his times in several places: Beraishis 49:10, Bamidbar 24:17-19, Devarim 30:1-10, 32:34-43. Look them up. Many more times the ultimate redemption is spoken of by our prophets in Na”ch. Just as the exiles the Torah warns about came true, so will the redemption it promises.

As always, questions are encouraged so that I can work on getting the best answers for you.You can submit it anonymously on the right, post your question as a comment or if you would like, you can send an email to inspirationalinformation1 [at] gmail [dot] com and the answer to your question will be sent to your inbox.

It is so important to ask questions about yiddishkeit. Although it is important to remember that "the first thing to understand is that we can't understand," that's just a prerequisite to any question you have. But if a person were to live their lives repeating this line to themselves and not seeking answers, they'd be in very big trouble!

Torah is not about stifling questions and never getting answers. If our rabbanim and gedolim did that, we wouldn't have clarity in any area. That's what all the meforshim are all about - they asked, (understood that we may not be able to fully understand) and then dug deep to try to find the answers-and got them! That's how a person can develop and appreciate the depth of Torah and the beauty of it, from the questions AND the answers!! If not for all the questions, how would we have torah sheba'al peh? All the seforim on all topics that we have now come from people's thirst for knowledge and answers!! So if you ever have other questions, make sure you ask someone. Don't let yourself be satisfied with "we cannot understand" - when it's the first stage. Ask. And then if you don't get the most satisfying answer, you should have that line in the back of your head. But keep searching, keep asking and keep looking because you will find the answer!!

When I was in high school, a girl in my class asked a question to our teacher (a good, deep question) and the teacher said she would answer her after class. (I guess she felt it was too long of an answer to give over to the whole class in middle of the lesson and the answer would be deep and possibly fly over some girls heads) and I was stuck with that question for a long time...until one day I took out the Hamodia and saw the exact question and an amazingly clear answer right before my very own eyes!! I was so floored and the answer was so good and so deep! (I just wish I would have saved that page from the paper.)

So just keep in mind how very important it is to ask-because that is the foundation of our Torah. Questions and answers give us a love and appreciation for who we are and what treasure we have!! May you always feel so lucky to be a Jew and may you always find the best answers to your important questions!! :-)

DRESSED TO BE BLESSED

Dress to be Blessed

What is the dream of every Jewish girl?
To find the best chosson in the world.
Oh, how you daven day and night!
That torah should be his real delight.
Your dream can come true.
It’s all up to you.
If you are careful, with the way you dress and speak,
You can be zoche to reach the mountain's peak.
The reward for this mitzvah is so great,
Let us all stop and appreciate.
That Hashem repays one thousand times,
It is really true, it's not for the rhymes!

You will be zoche to have children who love Hashem,
And who light up the world to those around them.
They will have great middos that truly shine.
This comes from a mother who is careful all the time.
From illness and sickness you will be protected.
In addition, your heartfelt tefillos will be accepted.
Hashem will bentch you with riches and wealth,
This mitzvah will truly improve your health.

Techiyas Hameisim may seem so far away in your eyes,
But let me tell you, you'll be in for a surprise.
The sweat, from the times you covered your skin,
Hashem will pour it over your body and techiyas hameisim will begin.
Your face will have an everlasting glow,
This is something important you should know.

You will feel confident and respected,
As long as with as smile, this mitzvah you perfected.
You will feel Hashem in everything you do,

Especially, when things are confusing or hard for you.
The ultimate geula, we all are waiting for,
There is so much that Hashem has for us in store.
In whose zechus will we get to greet?
Moshiach ben David who we are longing to meet.

All these brachos sound too good to be true,
Is it possible to have them all happen to you?
You may know people who are as careful as can be,
Yet they do not get all this- it’s clear to see!
We must remember that Hashem has His plans,
Although at times we may not understand.
Even though right now you do not see the fruits of your labor,
We know for certain Hashem will save it for later.
Everything is calculated perfectly,
Whatever happens, is for your good ultimately.
We know for certain that by upgrading ourselves in this mitzvah,
We are holding in all the bracha,
We surely will be rewarded with tremendous hatzlacha!
Written by: Devoiry Saull
(Taken from Daughters of Dignity)

The Reward is So Great!

Someone requested that I post something on the topic of tznius so here goes…Let me know if this helped you out in any way and please also let me know what specific things you want to hear about because there's plenty to say!

I know that tznius is such a hard mitzvah. Of course we all know that the harder the mitzvah is, the greater the schar (we know the song by heart already!! The harder the work is to do, the more schar Hashem gives you…) but what is the schar for keeping to this mitzvah?!

One of the rewards for keeping the mitzvah of tznius is health. Another is good children. What would people give to have these things? How much money would someone pay just to restore her health? Can you put a price tag on eyes that see? On ears that hear? Can you say it’s worth 100 dollars? A thousand? A million? There’s no way to say how much health is really worth! But here – you have the key! Hashem is telling you, Do you want to be healthy?! All you have to do is keep your body covered properly!

Good children – how much would a parent give to ensure children who are good, listen to them, respect them, love them, care about them, follow the right path?! Raising children in today’s world is hard! There are a lot of things that could go wrong. If you had a promise for good children, but it took some work on your part, wouldn’t you try very hard and do anything you can for good children?! There are parents who cry themselves to sleep at night because they are pained by the things their children are doing! But here is something you can do to earn this great reward! And even if you do not have children yet, you can save up those zechusim, start now!! And another thing – you need to get married in order to have children so (this is my guess) maybe, by dressing and acting with modesty, you will also get to that stage too!!!

Chaya Sara commented about this in the last post I wrote on tznius. She said that when I was pregnant with Shalom Baruch, I made sure to be extra careful not to wear maternity clothing that was too tight. Do you know how hard that was for me?! Do you have any idea??? If you would have seen me walking down the street at that point, I don’t think you’d ever be able to guess what a challenge it was for me! Do you have any idea how many sweaters and tops I put back on the racks in stores because they were just too tight, too showy and emphasizes my growing stomach?! And it was not easy!!! It was very, very hard!!! But I kept telling myself that it’s going to be worth it. Instead of shopping in the stores that had things for much less money (and I’m talking about things that were more than half the price of the things that were more tznius), I went and spent more money on my maternity clothes.

And then I told Chaya Sara, “If someone would ask me how much I would pay to have an easy labor and good children, I would pay all the money in the world!! And here I know, that if I am dressed in the proper way, I will have good children! Who wouldn’t be extra careful?! I want my child to grow up happy, healthy, respect and love me, treat people nicely, follow the torah…all these things are included in good!! So even if it’s hard, and the styles are more attractive, it worth it for me to put those things back on the rack and pay more money for clothing that is more modest so that I know I will have good children!!!” And yes, I did have a very easy labor (compared to what people have by the first child)! Of course, it didn’t tickle lol and it’s called labor for a reason (it’s hard work!), but I was so lucky. There are people who are in labor for 12, 15, 24 hours…and my labor, from when I felt the first moment of pain until my baby was born was a total of 4 hours and 15 minutes!! That’s really something incredible for a first birth! My story is a long one, even though it wasn't that many hours, but let me tell you, it was definitely worth it when I held that precious baby in my arms and gave birth to a perfect and healthy little boy!

So keep in mind that even if it’s hard to do this mitzvah, the reward is so great!!

Please let me know if this helped you at all…