When looking through the machzor on Yom Kippur night, there is one part of the chazzaras hashatz that really spoke to me.
We say mi she'ana l....hu ya'aneinu-He who answered....May He answer us. And there is a different phrase inserted each time. A time Hashem answered someone and we ask Him to please answer our prayers too.
Avraham Avinu b'har hamoriah...Yosef b'veis ha'asurim...avoseinu b'yam suf...Yehoshuah Bagilgal...Eliyahu b'har hacarmel...Yonah bm'eih hadaga...Chananya, Mishael, V'azaryah b'soch kivshan ha'eish...
Each of these people called out to Hashem at a time of extreme desperation. And Hashem answered them. And the list is quite long.
And I thought to myself...If Hashem saved Yonah from the innards of the fish and Chananya, Mishael and Azarya from inside a burning furnace, can't he help little me? Can't I rely on Him to hear my little prayers?
I looked at this tefillah and concentrated on the words. I thought about each of the stories. I thought back to the time that these people turned to Hashem because they knew He was the only One who could help them. I thought about what it took for Hashem to save each of them. Hashem made miracles! For Yehoshua, He made the sun stand still in the sky. And for me...I don't need big miracles. I just need Him to help me with my little life. And nothing is too big for Hashem. If He could save three people from inside a burning fire, He surely can save me from the difficulties I am experiencing.
This tefillah gave me a powerful feeling of emunah and trust in Hashem. It helped open my eyes to the awesome power He has. So when I feel hopeless, when I feel lost, when I feel alone, I know that I can turn to Hashem and He can do anything to help things get better. He has such incredible capabilities...and I can ask Him for anything and everything I need and want. Hashem is unlimited...and I need to take advantage of that when I daven to Him...for myself and for those close to me.
Yom Kippur is a day when I try to look back at the previous year and think about the changes...think about where I was a year ago...what was going on in my life...and realize how much was decided just one year before. It's a powerful day...and it scares me. It scares me to think about how much will be sealed on this day for the coming year. Every day, every stress, every change. I davened and continue to hope there will be many good changes this year.
I want to hold on to these feelings. Of relying on Hashem completely and recognizing that it is He who decides what changes will happen in the coming year. It was He who mapped out my life and my challenges. It is He who created me with my specific strengths and weaknesses. He gave me the exact tools I need to overcome the tests of life and become the person I am meant to become. It will take strength, it will take work, but I know that He is the One planning this all. And there is comfort in that knowledge.
This is what succos is about. It's about leaving our large, comfortable homes and going into a small, cozy little house-to be with Hashem. To be in His shadow. To be in His embrace. R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l says that the walls of the sukkah are like a hug from Hashem. After all the inspiration gained from Rosh Hashana, the aseres yimei teshuva and Yom Kippur, Hashem is not ready to let the closeness end. He wants us to come spend even more time with Him. So we enter the walls of the sukkah and it is as if Hashem is giving us a hug. The walls are His arms embracing us. I found that thought so heartwarming.
Succos is a time to increase our emunah in Hashem. It is a time when we can realize and internalize on a deeper level just how much we depend on Him for everything. We leave our homes to show just that. When we are outside, we can let go of all the outer trappings of our homes-the chandeliers, the bookcases, the drapes on the windows...and focus on what really is important to us. Our spirituality, our relationship with Hashem, living a Torah life and doing the mitzvos. And we remind ourselves how much we rely on Hashem for all the good we have. It is not our hard work that brings the results, it is He who decides exactly how much we should have and how much we should spend, what our expenses will be and how much we will save.
How lucky we are to have these yomim tovim! We have a chance to reflect on our past year and on ourselves as people and think about the changes we want to make. We have an opportunity to renew our commitment when we felt ourselves slipping back. And we are able to strengthen our emunah and trust in Hashem so we can rely on Him with more passion and feeling over the coming year...knowing it is He who we can turn to whenever we need. Because Hashem can do anything. Just like He saved Yosef from the prison in Mitzrayim and Daniel from the lions' den, just like He heard their tefillos, He will hear ours too. And we hope He will answer them and we will have a positive outcome.
Wishing you all a wonderful and inspiring succos.
Showing posts with label Yom Tov. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yom Tov. Show all posts
Monday, October 6, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
The Fox and The Vineyard
I posted this before and want to share the message with you once again.We are now in the month of Elul. This is a very important time in the hebrew calendar, a time of closeness and connection to Hashem. Think about how lucky you are to have an opportunity to come back to your Loving Father! He gives you so many chances to come close to Him and show Him that you really want to do the right thing-by thinking about what you have done and how you want to become better.
There's an amazing mashal I want to share with you.
A fox passed a vineyard full of delicious grapes and wanted to eat some of them. However, there was a fence enclosing the vineyard that blocked him from going in. He did notice that there was a small hole in the fence and if he would fast for three days, he would be able to squeeze in and eat the grapes. So that is what he did.
After three days, the fox was skinny enough to make his way through the hole. He feasted and enjoyed all the grapes in the vineyard and when he was ready to leave he realized that he would not be able to get out because he ate too much and gained too much weight! So once again, he fasted for three days and only then was he able to get out of the vineyard.
The fox then realized that he did not gain anything from the vineyard because he left the same way he had gone in. We have to ask ourselves the same question-will we leave the world the same way we went in or will we have things that have true value to take along with us. Elul is a time to ask ourselves these questions - what are we taking with us into the new year? What mitzvos and good deeds do we have to show for ourselves?
Each one of us is put into this world and there are so many temptations and things that look exciting - but we have to remember that we are in this world for a purpose, not just for the materialism and we need to focus on the things that last.
This past shabbos, I heard a continuation of this mashal.
There was a smart fox who watched what the first fox had done and said to himself, "I will not be a fool like this one." And here is what he did. After fasting three days so he could get through the hole in the fence, he ate and enjoyed the grapes. In the meantime, he threw a whole bunch of grapes over the fence so that when he gets out of the vineyard, he will have more grapes to eat. So even though he had to fast to get out, he thought ahead and saved for the future.
The woman who I heard this mashal from gave an interesting twist on the nimshal.
Elul is coming. It's a hard month but it is a very rich month. There is so much to gain from what comes after it-the yomim nora'im, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succos. Some people are like the first fox and they leave the yomim tovim the same way they came in. The day after yom tov you wouldn't even know that they experienced such awesome days. However, if you want to be like the smart fox, you need to throw the grapes over the fence, you need to prepare properly and think ahead so that you will come out of these days enriched and a better person.
Elul is a very big month. There is so much to gain and so much to achieve. Now that we are entering such a crucial time in our calendar, it is up to us to use our time well and take advantage of the closeness we have with Hashem.
Let's think ahead so that we use each day to the fullest so that when we come out of Elul, we can say that we didn't just eat the grapes but we saved some for later - so that we can take the inspiration we get from Elul and the yomim tovim that come after it and come out a truly changed and better person!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Comfort
I posted this last year and wanted to share the message with you once again.
There are some contradictions in the halachos of Tisha B'av that make one wonder about the nature of the day. On one hand, we act like mourners, sit on low chairs, do not wear leather shoes and do not greet one another with a friendly "hello". On the other hand, Tisha B'av is called a Mo'ed, a yom tov-not only because it will be a yom tov when moshiach comes, but because now it can be viewed as a festival. This is why men do not say tachanun-a tefillah that is not recited on yomim tovim and other days of celebration.
How can Tisha B'av be viewed as a festival? Where is the joy in this sad day? And what can we take from the intense mourning of this day...that will bring us some measure of comfort?
The Chasam Sofer explains something interesting about the fact that we still mourn for the Beis Hamikdosh so many years after it was destroyed. There have been many nations in the history of the world who have gone through loss and destruction, yet none of them mourn; they have all been forgotten with the passage of time. Egypt, Spain, Rome-each nation had their high point and then fell. But we, the Jewish People, not only are we still around, but we still cry over our loss, so many years later.
Why?
Our chachamim tell us that there is a gezeirah, a decree from Hashem, that the memory of one who died will fade as time goes on. It is possible for someone who experienced the loss of the death of a loved one to be consoled, to move on and even...even to forget. But because of this same gezeira, if someone mourns someone who they think is dead but really is alive, they will never be able to be consoled. No words, no stories, no inspiration...even the passage of time will ever comfort them. They will not be able to overcome this grief.
In the same way, other nations who have lost their power and greatness, who lost their country, who are no longer a People, can be consoled; they can overcome their loss...because their loss is final, it is complete. There is no hope for them. They will never be able to go back to their previous glory. The status they once held is considered "dead" and they become forgotten as time goes on.
However, the Jewish People can never be consoled over the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh.
As it says in Megillas Eichah, ein la menachem-they have no one to comfort them. I always saw this as something so sad...for a different reason. When my family sat shiva for my brother, the stream of people coming to comfort us didn't stop. So many people came to try to offer words of consolation and to be there for us, with us in our pain. But when the Beis Hamikdosh was destroyed, there was no one to comfort the Jews-for they were all in the same boat. They were all hurting. They were all experiencing famine, death and loss. Who could offer words of comfort in such a setting? No one. They were all in it together.
But that's not what the Chasam Sofer is saying. He takes a whole different spin on that phrase. Why can we not be comforted over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh?
Why?
Because it is not a permanent destruction. It is not a permanent loss. No matter how much time passes, our hearts still ache, our souls still yearn to return...because we will return. We cannot forget the pain...because it is not a permanent "death", it is but a temporary loss.
As it says in the first passuk in Eichah, ha'ir rabasi am, haysah k'almanah-the city that was great with people has become like a widow. And Rashi says, she is like a widow...but she is not really a widow. She is like a woman whose husband went to a foreign city with the intention of returning to her.
The very fact that we are still crying on Tisha B'av, that we still mourn the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh, that we still long for and hope to return to Yerushalayim, is in itself the greatest source of consolation. The greatest nechama.
This is the reason why Tisha B'av is referred to as a mo'ed, a yom tov, and why those tefillos that are not recited on festivals are omitted on this day. We can feel comforted and yes, even rejoice inside while we mourn...for we know that it is specifically because we are still mourning that we know we will once again return...return to our Father, return to our Land and return to the former glory we as a nation once had.
This shabbos, Shabbos Nachamu, is a time when we can find comfort in the fact that we are still here. We spent Tisha B'av in a mode of longing and yearning, as we (hopefully) cried, wished and hoped for the geula. Although we are still waiting for that day to come, we can be comforted by the fact that it will come...that we have never forgotten...and that our Nation is still alive.
May we be zoche to experience the true nechama and live to see the day come when Kol Hamisabel Al Yerushalayim...all those who mourn over the rebuilding of Yerushalayim...will actually see and experience the joy when the Beis Hamikdosh will finally be rebuilt!
There are some contradictions in the halachos of Tisha B'av that make one wonder about the nature of the day. On one hand, we act like mourners, sit on low chairs, do not wear leather shoes and do not greet one another with a friendly "hello". On the other hand, Tisha B'av is called a Mo'ed, a yom tov-not only because it will be a yom tov when moshiach comes, but because now it can be viewed as a festival. This is why men do not say tachanun-a tefillah that is not recited on yomim tovim and other days of celebration.
How can Tisha B'av be viewed as a festival? Where is the joy in this sad day? And what can we take from the intense mourning of this day...that will bring us some measure of comfort?
The Chasam Sofer explains something interesting about the fact that we still mourn for the Beis Hamikdosh so many years after it was destroyed. There have been many nations in the history of the world who have gone through loss and destruction, yet none of them mourn; they have all been forgotten with the passage of time. Egypt, Spain, Rome-each nation had their high point and then fell. But we, the Jewish People, not only are we still around, but we still cry over our loss, so many years later.
Why?
Our chachamim tell us that there is a gezeirah, a decree from Hashem, that the memory of one who died will fade as time goes on. It is possible for someone who experienced the loss of the death of a loved one to be consoled, to move on and even...even to forget. But because of this same gezeira, if someone mourns someone who they think is dead but really is alive, they will never be able to be consoled. No words, no stories, no inspiration...even the passage of time will ever comfort them. They will not be able to overcome this grief.
In the same way, other nations who have lost their power and greatness, who lost their country, who are no longer a People, can be consoled; they can overcome their loss...because their loss is final, it is complete. There is no hope for them. They will never be able to go back to their previous glory. The status they once held is considered "dead" and they become forgotten as time goes on.
However, the Jewish People can never be consoled over the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh.
As it says in Megillas Eichah, ein la menachem-they have no one to comfort them. I always saw this as something so sad...for a different reason. When my family sat shiva for my brother, the stream of people coming to comfort us didn't stop. So many people came to try to offer words of consolation and to be there for us, with us in our pain. But when the Beis Hamikdosh was destroyed, there was no one to comfort the Jews-for they were all in the same boat. They were all hurting. They were all experiencing famine, death and loss. Who could offer words of comfort in such a setting? No one. They were all in it together.
But that's not what the Chasam Sofer is saying. He takes a whole different spin on that phrase. Why can we not be comforted over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh?
Why?
Because it is not a permanent destruction. It is not a permanent loss. No matter how much time passes, our hearts still ache, our souls still yearn to return...because we will return. We cannot forget the pain...because it is not a permanent "death", it is but a temporary loss.
As it says in the first passuk in Eichah, ha'ir rabasi am, haysah k'almanah-the city that was great with people has become like a widow. And Rashi says, she is like a widow...but she is not really a widow. She is like a woman whose husband went to a foreign city with the intention of returning to her.
The very fact that we are still crying on Tisha B'av, that we still mourn the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh, that we still long for and hope to return to Yerushalayim, is in itself the greatest source of consolation. The greatest nechama.
This is the reason why Tisha B'av is referred to as a mo'ed, a yom tov, and why those tefillos that are not recited on festivals are omitted on this day. We can feel comforted and yes, even rejoice inside while we mourn...for we know that it is specifically because we are still mourning that we know we will once again return...return to our Father, return to our Land and return to the former glory we as a nation once had.
This shabbos, Shabbos Nachamu, is a time when we can find comfort in the fact that we are still here. We spent Tisha B'av in a mode of longing and yearning, as we (hopefully) cried, wished and hoped for the geula. Although we are still waiting for that day to come, we can be comforted by the fact that it will come...that we have never forgotten...and that our Nation is still alive.
May we be zoche to experience the true nechama and live to see the day come when Kol Hamisabel Al Yerushalayim...all those who mourn over the rebuilding of Yerushalayim...will actually see and experience the joy when the Beis Hamikdosh will finally be rebuilt!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Succos-Strengthening Our Emunah
Every yom tov is meant to instill deeper levels of emunah into our hearts.
Succos is a special yom tov that comes after the inspiring days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana, we remind ourselves once again that Hashem is the King and Ruler of the world. We are mere mortals and everything that happens to us is in His hands.
Anu tzonecha v'ata ro'einu-you are our Shepherd...we depend on you for every little bit of sustenance. Just like the sheep walks after the shepherd, following every step...we follow Hashem too and He takes care of us, nourishes us when we are thirsty, physically and spiritually. Sometimes we see it physically, when we rely on Hashem for things and He gives us exactly what we need and other times we can even see it spiritually-if we look out for it-we will see how He sent us the people or inspiration to help us move forward and grow exactly at a time we needed it most. Or He may put us in a situation where we feel like we must turn to Him and only Him, thereby strengthening our connection with and trust in Him. We don't ask for it...but when we grow from our life and our challenges, we know that there was a higher purpose to whatever happened.
On Yom Kippur, we stand before Hashem and attempt to cleanse ourselves from our spiritual lowliness, admitting to the times we fell, acknowledging that although we are human beings and we stumble daily, we want to be better, we want to be different. We ask Hashem to forgive us for the past. We look inside our hearts and remember things only we know about ourselves...and ask Him to see inside our souls, to see the person we want to be...and to help us get away from the things we wish we would never have done and to help us move forward towards spiritually better people.
Succos is a whole different yom tov. It is a time where we leave our homes, our comfort zones and we put into practice the things we already know in our heads. We leave our homes-why? To show-with actions-that we rely totally and completely on HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That the material things we have do not matter. What matters is not the fancy house, the outer trappings...what matters is what is going on inside our souls. Of course, we still make the mitzvos beautiful, we adorn our little huts, our temporary houses with all sorts of decorations...but we remind ourselves on a deeper level about what really is important in life.
At the end of our lives, we will not take those things with us, not the chandeliers and not the fancy napkin rings. Not the clothing or the money or the shoes or the jewelry. Yes, we use the things we have to enhance our yom tov, to make nice dishes in honor of the special day, to serve them beautifully so we feel the joy of this holiday. When we use the things we were given to make yom tov more beautiful, that is a mitzvah. But we know that these things are not just for having-they're for elevating. They're for sharing. The most beautiful sukkah is one that is adorned with guests. :-)
And we leave our homes to remind ourselves Who we really rely on for the materialistic things we need, for our parnassah. When we leave our homes, we are in essence saying, Hashem, I am leaving my home because I want to show how I am totally dependent on you. I go out of my comfort zone, I go out of the house that belongs to me, the place I own and I go into Your shelter. I am under Your wings. You are the One who protects me always. You are the One who takes care of me at all times. It is You who provides for me and gives me every single thing I need. I am out in the open, under the clear blue sky, under Your sky.
I know that everything comes from you. I know that everything I have comes from Your giant, unlimited hand. And I know that if there is anything I ever need, I can turn to you and ask for it. You are the Source of all that I have, all the bounty I have been blessed with and you are the only One who can...and will...give me everything I will ever need.
May you be able to enter the sukkah with these thoughts in mind and continue to strengthen the emunah you have in Hashem. May the things you know in your head but don't yet feel in your heart travel through that long passageway...like a great rav once said-the greatest distance to be traveled in this world is from the head to the heart. May you be able to use this yom tov to connect to Hashem on an even deeper level, internalizing the things you already know...and may it be a truly Chag Sameach for all of you!
Succos is a special yom tov that comes after the inspiring days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana, we remind ourselves once again that Hashem is the King and Ruler of the world. We are mere mortals and everything that happens to us is in His hands.
Anu tzonecha v'ata ro'einu-you are our Shepherd...we depend on you for every little bit of sustenance. Just like the sheep walks after the shepherd, following every step...we follow Hashem too and He takes care of us, nourishes us when we are thirsty, physically and spiritually. Sometimes we see it physically, when we rely on Hashem for things and He gives us exactly what we need and other times we can even see it spiritually-if we look out for it-we will see how He sent us the people or inspiration to help us move forward and grow exactly at a time we needed it most. Or He may put us in a situation where we feel like we must turn to Him and only Him, thereby strengthening our connection with and trust in Him. We don't ask for it...but when we grow from our life and our challenges, we know that there was a higher purpose to whatever happened.
On Yom Kippur, we stand before Hashem and attempt to cleanse ourselves from our spiritual lowliness, admitting to the times we fell, acknowledging that although we are human beings and we stumble daily, we want to be better, we want to be different. We ask Hashem to forgive us for the past. We look inside our hearts and remember things only we know about ourselves...and ask Him to see inside our souls, to see the person we want to be...and to help us get away from the things we wish we would never have done and to help us move forward towards spiritually better people.
Succos is a whole different yom tov. It is a time where we leave our homes, our comfort zones and we put into practice the things we already know in our heads. We leave our homes-why? To show-with actions-that we rely totally and completely on HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That the material things we have do not matter. What matters is not the fancy house, the outer trappings...what matters is what is going on inside our souls. Of course, we still make the mitzvos beautiful, we adorn our little huts, our temporary houses with all sorts of decorations...but we remind ourselves on a deeper level about what really is important in life.
At the end of our lives, we will not take those things with us, not the chandeliers and not the fancy napkin rings. Not the clothing or the money or the shoes or the jewelry. Yes, we use the things we have to enhance our yom tov, to make nice dishes in honor of the special day, to serve them beautifully so we feel the joy of this holiday. When we use the things we were given to make yom tov more beautiful, that is a mitzvah. But we know that these things are not just for having-they're for elevating. They're for sharing. The most beautiful sukkah is one that is adorned with guests. :-)
And we leave our homes to remind ourselves Who we really rely on for the materialistic things we need, for our parnassah. When we leave our homes, we are in essence saying, Hashem, I am leaving my home because I want to show how I am totally dependent on you. I go out of my comfort zone, I go out of the house that belongs to me, the place I own and I go into Your shelter. I am under Your wings. You are the One who protects me always. You are the One who takes care of me at all times. It is You who provides for me and gives me every single thing I need. I am out in the open, under the clear blue sky, under Your sky.
I know that everything comes from you. I know that everything I have comes from Your giant, unlimited hand. And I know that if there is anything I ever need, I can turn to you and ask for it. You are the Source of all that I have, all the bounty I have been blessed with and you are the only One who can...and will...give me everything I will ever need.
May you be able to enter the sukkah with these thoughts in mind and continue to strengthen the emunah you have in Hashem. May the things you know in your head but don't yet feel in your heart travel through that long passageway...like a great rav once said-the greatest distance to be traveled in this world is from the head to the heart. May you be able to use this yom tov to connect to Hashem on an even deeper level, internalizing the things you already know...and may it be a truly Chag Sameach for all of you!
Labels:
Emunah,
Rosh Hashana,
Succos,
Yom Tov
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Comfort
There are some contradictions in the halachos of Tisha B'av that make one wonder about the nature of the day. On one hand, we act like mourners, sit on low chairs, do not wear leather shoes and do not greet one another with a friendly "hello". On the other hand, Tisha B'av is called a Mo'ed, a yom tov-not only because it will be a yom tov when moshiach comes, but because now it can be viewed as a festival. This is why men do not say tachanun-a tefillah that is not recited on yomim tovim and other days of celebration.
How can Tisha B'av be viewed as a festival? Where is the joy in this sad day? And what can we take from the intense mourning of this day...that will bring us some measure of comfort?
The Chasam Sofer explains something interesting about the fact that we still mourn for the Beis Hamikdosh so many years after it was destroyed. There have been many nations in the history of the world who have gone through loss and destruction, yet none of them mourn; they have all been forgotten with the passage of time. Egypt, Spain, Rome-each nation had their high point and then fell. But we, the Jewish People, not only are we still around, but we still cry over our loss, so many years later.
Why?
Our chachamim tell us that there is a gezeirah, a decree from Hashem, that the memory of one who died will fade as time goes on. It is possible for someone who experienced the loss of the death of a loved one to be consoled, to move on and even...even to forget. But because of this same gezeira, if someone mourns someone who they think is dead but really is alive, they will never be able to be consoled. No words, no stories, no inspiration...even the passage of time will ever comfort them. They will not be able to overcome this grief.
In the same way, other nations who have lost their power and greatness, who lost their country, who are no longer a People, can be consoled; they can overcome their loss...because their loss is final, it is complete. There is no hope for them. They will never be able to go back to their previous glory. The status they once held is considered "dead" and they become forgotten as time goes on.
However, the Jewish People can never be consoled over the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh.
As it says in Megillas Eichah, ein la menachem-they have no one to comfort them. I always saw this as something so sad...for a different reason. When my family sat shiva for my brother, the stream of people coming to comfort us didn't stop. So many people came to try to offer words of consolation and to be there for us, with us in our pain. But when the Beis Hamikdosh was destroyed, there was no one to comfort the Jews-for they were all in the same boat. They were all hurting. They were all experiencing famine, death and loss. Who could offer words of comfort in such a setting? No one. They were all in it together.
But that's not what the Chasam Sofer is saying. He takes a whole different spin on that phrase. Why can we not be comforted over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh?
Why?
Because it is not a permanent destruction. It is not a permanent loss. No matter how much time passes, our hearts still ache, our souls still yearn to return...because we will return. We cannot forget the pain...because it is not a permanent "death", it is but a temporary loss.
As it says in the first passuk in Eichah, ha'ir rabasi am, haysah k'almanah-the city that was great with people has become like a widow. And Rashi says, she is like a widow...but she is not really a widow. She is like a woman whose husband went to a foreign city with the intention of returning to her.
The very fact that we are still crying on Tisha B'av, that we still mourn the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh, that we still long for and hope to return to Yerushalayim, is in itself the greatest source of consolation. The greatest nechama.
This is the reason why Tisha B'av is referred to as a mo'ed, a yom tov, and why those tefillos that are not recited on festivals are omitted on this day. We can feel comforted and yes, even rejoice inside while we mourn...for we know that it is specifically because we are still mourning that we know we will once again return...return to our Father, return to our Land and return to the former glory we as a nation once had.
This shabbos, Shabbos Nachamu, is a time when we can find comfort in the fact that we are still here. We spent Tisha B'av in a mode of longing and yearning, as we (hopefully) cried, wished and hoped for the geula. Although we are still waiting for that day to come, we can be comforted by the fact that it will come...that we have never forgotten...and that our Nation is still alive.
May we be zoche to experience the true nechama and live to see the day come when Kol Hamisabel Al Yerushalayim...all those who mourn over the rebuilding of Yerushalayim...will actually see and experience the joy when the Beis Hamikdosh will finally be rebuilt!
How can Tisha B'av be viewed as a festival? Where is the joy in this sad day? And what can we take from the intense mourning of this day...that will bring us some measure of comfort?
The Chasam Sofer explains something interesting about the fact that we still mourn for the Beis Hamikdosh so many years after it was destroyed. There have been many nations in the history of the world who have gone through loss and destruction, yet none of them mourn; they have all been forgotten with the passage of time. Egypt, Spain, Rome-each nation had their high point and then fell. But we, the Jewish People, not only are we still around, but we still cry over our loss, so many years later.
Why?
Our chachamim tell us that there is a gezeirah, a decree from Hashem, that the memory of one who died will fade as time goes on. It is possible for someone who experienced the loss of the death of a loved one to be consoled, to move on and even...even to forget. But because of this same gezeira, if someone mourns someone who they think is dead but really is alive, they will never be able to be consoled. No words, no stories, no inspiration...even the passage of time will ever comfort them. They will not be able to overcome this grief.
In the same way, other nations who have lost their power and greatness, who lost their country, who are no longer a People, can be consoled; they can overcome their loss...because their loss is final, it is complete. There is no hope for them. They will never be able to go back to their previous glory. The status they once held is considered "dead" and they become forgotten as time goes on.
However, the Jewish People can never be consoled over the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh.
As it says in Megillas Eichah, ein la menachem-they have no one to comfort them. I always saw this as something so sad...for a different reason. When my family sat shiva for my brother, the stream of people coming to comfort us didn't stop. So many people came to try to offer words of consolation and to be there for us, with us in our pain. But when the Beis Hamikdosh was destroyed, there was no one to comfort the Jews-for they were all in the same boat. They were all hurting. They were all experiencing famine, death and loss. Who could offer words of comfort in such a setting? No one. They were all in it together.
But that's not what the Chasam Sofer is saying. He takes a whole different spin on that phrase. Why can we not be comforted over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh?
Why?
Because it is not a permanent destruction. It is not a permanent loss. No matter how much time passes, our hearts still ache, our souls still yearn to return...because we will return. We cannot forget the pain...because it is not a permanent "death", it is but a temporary loss.
As it says in the first passuk in Eichah, ha'ir rabasi am, haysah k'almanah-the city that was great with people has become like a widow. And Rashi says, she is like a widow...but she is not really a widow. She is like a woman whose husband went to a foreign city with the intention of returning to her.
The very fact that we are still crying on Tisha B'av, that we still mourn the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh, that we still long for and hope to return to Yerushalayim, is in itself the greatest source of consolation. The greatest nechama.
This is the reason why Tisha B'av is referred to as a mo'ed, a yom tov, and why those tefillos that are not recited on festivals are omitted on this day. We can feel comforted and yes, even rejoice inside while we mourn...for we know that it is specifically because we are still mourning that we know we will once again return...return to our Father, return to our Land and return to the former glory we as a nation once had.
This shabbos, Shabbos Nachamu, is a time when we can find comfort in the fact that we are still here. We spent Tisha B'av in a mode of longing and yearning, as we (hopefully) cried, wished and hoped for the geula. Although we are still waiting for that day to come, we can be comforted by the fact that it will come...that we have never forgotten...and that our Nation is still alive.
May we be zoche to experience the true nechama and live to see the day come when Kol Hamisabel Al Yerushalayim...all those who mourn over the rebuilding of Yerushalayim...will actually see and experience the joy when the Beis Hamikdosh will finally be rebuilt!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Blessings
Do we realize how blessed we are?
I'm packing up to go away for yom tov. There is so much to do, it's kind of overwhelming. I make a list and start going through it one thing at a time. As I pack, I look at the clothing I am taking and my heart fills with gratitude to Hashem.
Look at all these colors! I have so many choices of tops, sweaters, the perfect color shell...it's such a gift!
I start packing up my children. Baruch Hashem, they have plenty of clothing. I am so grateful. Little girls are so much fun to dress. My daughter has way too much to wear; I may not have to do any laundry while we are gone.
Is that normal?
I think back to just a few generations ago. How many dresses did a little girl own? One? If someone was a little more wealthy, maybe they had a second dress? I don't know. But they certainly couldn't compete with my daughter's wardrobe.
Hashem has given us so much good.
Look at our choices of clothing-colors, textures and a perfect, comfortable fit. We can buy a shell that matches to the top with such precision, it is truly amazing.
Do we realize how blessed we are?
I go into the tights store and decide to buy my daughter a pair of cute bobby socks. So many choices! And they make such pretty ones these days. My daughter will be a princess this yom tov. The woman shows me another few choices. I decide to take just one pair. How many socks does a little two-year old need anyway? How much am I spoiling my little girl? She already has so much. Does she need even more?
I think about the bounty our generation has been blessed with while I admire the pretty bows, flowers and headbands in the store.
Yes, we are truly blessed.
We only need to open our eyes and we will see...just how much good Hashem has showered upon us. It's easy to miss it...but sometimes it stares you right in the face.
May you be able to notice the good things you've been blessed with and may Hashem continue to shower you with loads of goodness and extra bracha!
I'm packing up to go away for yom tov. There is so much to do, it's kind of overwhelming. I make a list and start going through it one thing at a time. As I pack, I look at the clothing I am taking and my heart fills with gratitude to Hashem.
Look at all these colors! I have so many choices of tops, sweaters, the perfect color shell...it's such a gift!
I start packing up my children. Baruch Hashem, they have plenty of clothing. I am so grateful. Little girls are so much fun to dress. My daughter has way too much to wear; I may not have to do any laundry while we are gone.
Is that normal?
I think back to just a few generations ago. How many dresses did a little girl own? One? If someone was a little more wealthy, maybe they had a second dress? I don't know. But they certainly couldn't compete with my daughter's wardrobe.
Hashem has given us so much good.
Look at our choices of clothing-colors, textures and a perfect, comfortable fit. We can buy a shell that matches to the top with such precision, it is truly amazing.
Do we realize how blessed we are?
I go into the tights store and decide to buy my daughter a pair of cute bobby socks. So many choices! And they make such pretty ones these days. My daughter will be a princess this yom tov. The woman shows me another few choices. I decide to take just one pair. How many socks does a little two-year old need anyway? How much am I spoiling my little girl? She already has so much. Does she need even more?
I think about the bounty our generation has been blessed with while I admire the pretty bows, flowers and headbands in the store.
Yes, we are truly blessed.
We only need to open our eyes and we will see...just how much good Hashem has showered upon us. It's easy to miss it...but sometimes it stares you right in the face.
May you be able to notice the good things you've been blessed with and may Hashem continue to shower you with loads of goodness and extra bracha!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Looking Ahead
A
Baal Teshuva once came to R’ Avrohom Gurwitz of Yeshivas Ner Moshe.
“Rabbi,” he said, “I can’t go on. When I think of my past and all the
things I did wrong, I can’t imagine being able to consider myself an
observant Jew.”
“You know,” replied R’ Gurwitz, “Human beings have eyes
in the front of our heads, not in the back. If we stretch our necks and
turn, we can look behind us, but the angle is skewed and it’s
uncomfortable to do it for any length of time. G-d made it this way to
teach us that the important thing is to always look ahead, and look
forward to what you can do and where you can go. You should look behind
you to see where you’ve been by all means, but if you focus on it too
long you won’t be able to get anywhere, and you’ll wind up hurting
yourself.”
We just experienced the yom tov of shavuos. Aside from the cheesecake and all the food, you can try to come out of this yom tov with a new appreciation for what you have and what you can become. It is easy to despair, to look back at the past and give up. It is more difficult to lift yourself up and tell yourself, I can be better. I can be more.
Change is hard. Change means looking deep inside yourself, deep inside your soul and thinking, what could I do to be a better Jew? A more connected Jew. A more inspired Jew. A more giving and loving Jew.
I've been reading the biography on Rebbetzin Kanievsky and I must say, there is so much to learn from her. The one thing that struck me was her true ahavas yisroel, her love for every single Jew no matter who they were or where they came from. There were people who were mentally disturbed who would come to her house and say things that would make many of us run in the opposite direction. There were people who treated her with less respect than any of you would treat even someone not so great. But she loved them all. She hugged them and kissed them and gave them brachos and made them feel special. The more psychotic a person sounded, the more love she showered them with because after all, they must really need someone to care about them.
There was a woman who thought she was going to die and she would come to Rebbetzin Kanievsky every single day. And every day the Rebbetzin would write her a special note giving her brachos and saying "you will not die today". Sometimes, the woman would rip it up in front of her face and tell her, you didn't write everything, you didn't write enough. And the Rebbetzin would write it again saying, I must really not be doing enough for her...
She truly cared. She had an amazing amount of patience. There was no limit to her kindness and her goodness.
When she sent her children to sleep with an elderly widow every night, she thanked the widow for letting her children sleep in her home and making it less crowded for the other children...after all, the Kanievskys lived in a two and a half bedroom apartment and when there was one less child sleeping in the house there was so much more room for everyone. She didn't thank the widow just one time, she kept thanking her again and again to the point that the widow would tell other people, "The Rebbetzin keeps thanking me for allowing her daughter to sleep here. But I'm so happy to be able to do such a chessed for their family, especially since I know their house is so crowded!" She really made the other person feel as if she was helping them instead of the other way around.
She wrote letters of recommendation to help boys get into yeshivos, she opened her door to so many people, strangers and family alike, allowing them to take food from her refrigerator freely, she delivered food to neighbors who moved in on the block (even on erev pesach), she gave money to petitioners who came for brachos and were suffering from financial distress, her giving heart and her love for others was endless.
I can't even sum up the stories over here. I tried to write some of them but I can't do justice. Her essence was her true, deep ahavas yisroel.
The Torah teaches us to love one another, to truly care about other people and it teaches us how. We have mitzvos that show us the importance of bein adam l'chaveiro. We are told not to accept bribes, to treat widows, orphans and converts with extra love, we are told to honor and respect our parents, not to steal, cheat, be jealous...all these things are between man and his fellow man. The Torah wants us to perfect our middos, work on our character, become better people.
I was thinking...shavuos has passed and the next yom tov is Rosh Hashana. It's a pretty scary thought. But we have a good few months ahead of us, a whole summer to work on ourselves, to become better people.
May you be able to look ahead instead of craning your neck to look back, knowing just how much to focus on the past so you become aware of what you need to work on. And may you be able to move forward, constantly striving and growing to become the best person you can.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sadness and Simcha?
Q: I just read that Rebbetzen Kanievsky was nifteres. I'm sure you can relate to that pang of "WHAT! But we need her now!" and just the sadness of it all. I know that I shouldn't be sad about it - especially on Chol Hamoed! What is the appropriate response to tragedy in a time of simcha? I have dealt with a close tragedy on Shabbos and dealt with it pretty well but this is just so different...its the Gadol Hador's daughter, husband...this is MAJOR.
A: I am going to try to answer you because you asked me even though I do not feel qualified to be the one to give you a final answer on the proper emotions one is supposed to feel at this time.
Of course I can relate to the shock and the painful feelings...as someone who met Rebbetzin Kanievsky a few times and spoke to her personally, I felt it very strongly when I heard the news. I cried. A lot. It hurt.
We need her now. How can this be? So soon after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. We just lost some really great people this past year. Another one? How will our nation get through this? We need her. We need her zechusim. We need her brachos. We need her tefillos. We need her power.
So many people went to her for brachos. Hashem, look down and see how many of those brachos came true...and how many of them are still waiting to be fulfilled. Please, make them happen!!
She gave so many people her very best wishes and told them to do such and such as a zechus...which they did...but they are still waiting. Hashem, bring those yeshuos already!
I got a bracha from her a while back...she told me to take something specific upon myself-which I did. It was something that was not easy. At all. But I did it. And...the yeshuah came. And I didn't stop doing it...until it just wasn't practical anymore because of what was going on in my life...and I'm sure it was okay.
One of the times I davened mincha in the shul in Bnei Brak where she davens, while I was in middle of shemona esrei, I suddenly felt a feeling of holiness right next to me. It was a feeling that could almost be touched. I looked to the left of me and realized...Rebbetzin Kanievsky was standing and davening right next to me! Apparently, that day people weren't sure if she would be coming at all because she wasn't feeling well. The davening started even though she wasn't there yet. She came a few minutes late, while the shul was in middle of shemona esrei. And she chose to stand right near me. I cannot describe the feeling. Within two seconds, my tefillah was transformed. If I was spacing out or lost my concentration before, by now it was intense and I was concentrating on every word. The holiest person was standing right near me! How could I look out of my siddur or let my mind wander?!
After davening was over, everyone came over to her for a personal bracha and she waited patiently and answered each one...with a smile, with love and care...and with sincerity. To some she told to do one thing as a zechus, to others she just gave a bracha, and to others she said to take something else upon themselves...like she knew what people need to work on.
There are not enough words for me to properly speak about her greatness, her holiness, her purity, her tefillah...but our loss is tremendous.
How should we feel at this time?
It's a mitzvah to be happy on yom tov. But...we lost such a great and holy person!
I don't know. I can't say for sure. What I do know is that when someone passes away on yom tov and their levaya (funeral) is on chol hamoed, there are no hespeidim, just tehillim and kaddish.
That means that we are meant to minimize the amount of sadness we feel...but how can we not feel sad when such a great person passed away? It was a huge loss for our nation!
During the week that my family sat shiva for my brother Shalom a"h, our first cousin got married. It was a wedding we were all very excited for but...we missed it. A friend came to speak to us and told us the following thought.
When we say Shema, we use two expressions of Hashem's name. We say, Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echod which is saying, Listen Klal Yisroel, Hashem (which is an expression of middas harachamim-mercy) Elokeinu (which expresses middas hadin-judgement), Hashem Echod-it's all One! There are times when we feel the mercy of Hashem, the happy, joyous times and there are times when we feel His strict judgement. But we must remember-Hashem Echod. They are both coming from the same Hashem.
It's a time to strengthen our emunah when we feel weak. We must remember that all the things that happen, the good and the seemingly bad, all come from the same One Hashem.
We don't understand.
We want to cry.
We want her back.
We need her zechusim.
But we must remember that we are now in a time of simcha-v'samachta b'chagecha is a real mitzvah. We need to try to be happy despite the pain and feelings of loss.
We don't have to worry about her. She is happy. She is in the best and highest place.
We are the ones who are lost. We are the ones who need to strive higher to become better, holier people.
It's the yom tov of simcha. We are about to celebrate the greatest happiness that there is-the joy of Simchas Torah. It's a time when we (watch the men :) ) dance around the Torah and jump for joy as they sing the tunes we all know and love...ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu - how lucky we are, how good is our portion! We are blessed with the greatest gift ever-the gift of the Torah. Through the Torah we have learned how to live the most awesome, happiest and fulfilling life there is.
Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h lived a life of holiness and purity. Think of her beautiful face next time you are tempted to do something you shouldn't. Her kedushah is way beyond me but...if I think of her more throughout my day it will definitely make a difference.
May you each be able to take a personal message from her passing and try to live your life in a way that is more spiritually elevated.
I may not have fully answered your question so please let me know if there's more you need to hear.
A: I am going to try to answer you because you asked me even though I do not feel qualified to be the one to give you a final answer on the proper emotions one is supposed to feel at this time.
Of course I can relate to the shock and the painful feelings...as someone who met Rebbetzin Kanievsky a few times and spoke to her personally, I felt it very strongly when I heard the news. I cried. A lot. It hurt.
We need her now. How can this be? So soon after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. We just lost some really great people this past year. Another one? How will our nation get through this? We need her. We need her zechusim. We need her brachos. We need her tefillos. We need her power.
So many people went to her for brachos. Hashem, look down and see how many of those brachos came true...and how many of them are still waiting to be fulfilled. Please, make them happen!!
She gave so many people her very best wishes and told them to do such and such as a zechus...which they did...but they are still waiting. Hashem, bring those yeshuos already!
I got a bracha from her a while back...she told me to take something specific upon myself-which I did. It was something that was not easy. At all. But I did it. And...the yeshuah came. And I didn't stop doing it...until it just wasn't practical anymore because of what was going on in my life...and I'm sure it was okay.
One of the times I davened mincha in the shul in Bnei Brak where she davens, while I was in middle of shemona esrei, I suddenly felt a feeling of holiness right next to me. It was a feeling that could almost be touched. I looked to the left of me and realized...Rebbetzin Kanievsky was standing and davening right next to me! Apparently, that day people weren't sure if she would be coming at all because she wasn't feeling well. The davening started even though she wasn't there yet. She came a few minutes late, while the shul was in middle of shemona esrei. And she chose to stand right near me. I cannot describe the feeling. Within two seconds, my tefillah was transformed. If I was spacing out or lost my concentration before, by now it was intense and I was concentrating on every word. The holiest person was standing right near me! How could I look out of my siddur or let my mind wander?!
After davening was over, everyone came over to her for a personal bracha and she waited patiently and answered each one...with a smile, with love and care...and with sincerity. To some she told to do one thing as a zechus, to others she just gave a bracha, and to others she said to take something else upon themselves...like she knew what people need to work on.
There are not enough words for me to properly speak about her greatness, her holiness, her purity, her tefillah...but our loss is tremendous.
How should we feel at this time?
It's a mitzvah to be happy on yom tov. But...we lost such a great and holy person!
I don't know. I can't say for sure. What I do know is that when someone passes away on yom tov and their levaya (funeral) is on chol hamoed, there are no hespeidim, just tehillim and kaddish.
That means that we are meant to minimize the amount of sadness we feel...but how can we not feel sad when such a great person passed away? It was a huge loss for our nation!
During the week that my family sat shiva for my brother Shalom a"h, our first cousin got married. It was a wedding we were all very excited for but...we missed it. A friend came to speak to us and told us the following thought.
When we say Shema, we use two expressions of Hashem's name. We say, Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echod which is saying, Listen Klal Yisroel, Hashem (which is an expression of middas harachamim-mercy) Elokeinu (which expresses middas hadin-judgement), Hashem Echod-it's all One! There are times when we feel the mercy of Hashem, the happy, joyous times and there are times when we feel His strict judgement. But we must remember-Hashem Echod. They are both coming from the same Hashem.
It's a time to strengthen our emunah when we feel weak. We must remember that all the things that happen, the good and the seemingly bad, all come from the same One Hashem.
We don't understand.
We want to cry.
We want her back.
We need her zechusim.
But we must remember that we are now in a time of simcha-v'samachta b'chagecha is a real mitzvah. We need to try to be happy despite the pain and feelings of loss.
We don't have to worry about her. She is happy. She is in the best and highest place.
We are the ones who are lost. We are the ones who need to strive higher to become better, holier people.
It's the yom tov of simcha. We are about to celebrate the greatest happiness that there is-the joy of Simchas Torah. It's a time when we (watch the men :) ) dance around the Torah and jump for joy as they sing the tunes we all know and love...ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu - how lucky we are, how good is our portion! We are blessed with the greatest gift ever-the gift of the Torah. Through the Torah we have learned how to live the most awesome, happiest and fulfilling life there is.
Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h lived a life of holiness and purity. Think of her beautiful face next time you are tempted to do something you shouldn't. Her kedushah is way beyond me but...if I think of her more throughout my day it will definitely make a difference.
May you each be able to take a personal message from her passing and try to live your life in a way that is more spiritually elevated.
I may not have fully answered your question so please let me know if there's more you need to hear.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The Fox and The Vineyard
I posted it last year and want to share the message with you once again.
Tonight is Rosh Chodesh Elul. We are about to enter a very important time in the hebrew calendar, a time of closeness and connection to Hashem. Think about how lucky you are to have an opportunity to come back to your Loving Father! He gives you so many chances to come close to Him and show Him that you really want to do the right thing-by thinking about what you have done and how you want to become better.
There's an amazing mashal I want to share with you.
A fox passed a vineyard full of delicious grapes and wanted to eat some of them. However, there was a fence enclosing the vineyard that blocked him from going in. He did notice that there was a small hole in the fence and if he would fast for three days, he would be able to squeeze in and eat the grapes. So that is what he did.
After three days, the fox was skinny enough to make his way through the hole. He feasted and enjoyed all the grapes in the vineyard and when he was ready to leave he realized that he would not be able to get out because he ate too much and gained too much weight! So once again, he fasted for three days and only then was he able to get out of the vineyard.
The fox then realized that he did not gain anything from the vineyard because he left the same way he had gone in. We have to ask ourselves the same question-will we leave the world the same way we went in or will we have things that have true value to take along with us. Elul is a time to ask ourselves these questions - what are we taking with us into the new year? What mitzvos and good deeds do we have to show for ourselves?
Each one of us is put into this world and there are so many temptations and things that look exciting - but we have to remember that we are in this world for a purpose, not just for the materialism and we need to focus on the things that last.
This past shabbos, I heard a continuation of this mashal.
There was a smart fox who watched what the first fox had done and said to himself, "I will not be a fool like this one." And here is what he did. After fasting three days so he could get through the hole in the fence, he ate and enjoyed the grapes. In the meantime, he threw a whole bunch of grapes over the fence so that when he gets out of the vineyard, he will have more grapes to eat. So even though he had to fast to get out, he thought ahead and saved for the future.
The woman who I heard this mashal from gave an interesting twist on the nimshal.
Elul is coming. It's a hard month but it is a very rich month. There is so much to gain from what comes after it-the yomim nora'im, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succos. Some people are like the first fox and they leave the yomim tovim the same way they came in. The day after yom tov you wouldn't even know that they experienced such awesome days. However, if you want to be like the smart fox, you need to throw the grapes over the fence, you need to prepare properly and think ahead so that you will come out of these days enriched and a better person.
Elul is a very big month. There is so much to gain and so much to achieve. Now that we are entering such a crucial time in our calendar, it is up to us to use our time well and take advantage of the closeness we have with Hashem.
Let's think ahead so that we use each day to the fullest so that when we come out of Elul, we can say that we didn't just eat the grapes but we saved some for later - so that we can take the inspiration we get from Elul and the yomim tovim that come after it and come out a truly changed and better person!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Around the Year with Shalom a"h
Tomorrow, Wednesday, Yud Zayin Av, August 17th is Shalom's 6th yartzheit. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since I saw him last. It's hard.
People say it gets easier with time, which may be true but there are times when the pain comes back with an intensity that cannot be described.
In the beginning, the pain is so raw, the family thinks about the person so, so much. The first shabbos, the next shabbos, every shabbos...it just hurts so much and the feelings are there so strongly. Shalom is supposed to be sitting in that chair, it was his seat every week...he said his own kiddush in a very unique tune...and we miss hearing it.
The first yom tov after reminds the family of what last yom tov was like, with that person there as part of the family...
Every yom tov was special to Shalom and he had his own unique way of showing that it meant a lot to him.
On Rosh Hashana he would take out a whole bag of simanim which his friend prepared for him (more than the regular ones our family does) and together with our older brother Mordechai, he would say each yehi ratzon with such simcha, such joy, and try to get the siblings to join in too.
Before Succos, he would spend time looking for a beautiful lulav and esrog. Since my brother Mordechai would sell lulavim and esrogim, he had an "in" and would be able to find a really nice one. His face would shine with excitement when he came home with his own set of arbah minim. And he took such good care of it, wrapping the lulav, hadasim and aravos in wet paper towels and then silver foil to make sure it stayed fresh. He took good care of all his things. He was always so neat, organized and put together.
On succos itself, if one of us would ask to use his lulav and esrog to bench that day, his face would light up with joy as he would unwrap it with care and set it up so we could make a bracha.
Simchas Torah is always a happy time for everyone. Just watching the little kids go around in circles with mini torahs and lots of candy will bring a smile to anyones face. Shalom was no different. As a kid, he would hold his own little torah and dance around in a circle smiling and happy while singing the simchas torah songs...Ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu...
After that, he would come home and play "shul" together with my little brother and our neighbor. He'd call up one person at a time for an aliya while saying "ya'amod" in the real tune and then he'd read from the torah - imitating the trop and trying to be just like the ba'al koray. Then, the bracha would be said "asher bachar banu..." and the kids would all be so proud to be acting just like their fathers do!
Chanukah was always a beautiful yom tov and Shalom had his way of showing how important the chanukah lights are. Although it is not our family's minhag, he would sit by the candles for a full half hour after lighting them and say special perakim of tehillim, tefillos and sing songs in his sweet voice.
Of course, Purim is a yom tov full of fun and opportunities for kids to collect tzeddakah for their yeshivas and schools. The last Purim he was with us, Shalom did the cutest thing. Besides for dressing up with a group of kids from school to go collecting for his yeshiva, he had additional "props". He had saved his lulav and esrog from succos - with a plan. He let his esrog shrink until it was a really small size (I think it's done by leaving it in a box for a while) and spent a long time with his lulav figuring out the exact measurements and size the smallest kosher lulav can be. Shalom took out seforim and checked it up until he knew for sure just how many tefochim was the minimum size for a lulav. Then, he pulled off the leaves of the lulav until he got it right. By the time it was done, it was seriously too cute! He had a mini lulav-which was 100% kosher and then a mini esrog - all saved from succos! Which means that he planned this in advance - he was thinking about this succos time already! We have pictures of him with his "costume" and these are all great memories to look back at!
When it came to cleaning the house and getting ready for Pesach, Shalom did so much to help out. He was available for anything the family needed and would run and do errands as quickly as he could-with his bike. My mother would give him a list of things that she needed to get done, sometimes a few items from one store and a stop at another and then a third stop to drop something off or pick something up - and he would do it all with a smile. Whenever he went shopping, he would come home with the receipt in hand and explain how much everything costs and he'd bring home the exact change-to the penny, counting it up and never keeping any of it for himself.
I remember Shalom going through boxes of matzah together with my older brother Mordechai to find the nicest ones to be used for the sedarim. They would then separate the broken ones and use some of them to make matzah meal. It took quite a while to crush it all up in the blender and was such a big help. It was so nice to see the two of them work together as a team.
Counting sefira in preparation for Shavuos was a very big thing in our house. We all tried - and succeeded - in counting with a bracha every single night. When we were much younger and our bedtime was before we were able to count, during the time between Pesach and Shavuos we were allowed to hop out of bed for those few minutes to count sefira.
Once we were a little older, Shalom put an alarm on his watch that would beep at nine o'clock for one full minute (remember those days when kids set alarms on their watches instead of on cell phones?!) and he would run find me and together we would count with a bracha. We were all so proud when we counted the 49th day and were able to say sheheim sheva shavuos la'omer because that meant that we did it again!
Although there are all these special memories we have of Shalom, I don't want you to come away from this thinking that he was an unusually holy person. He was normal. We remember the regular things that he loved to do and the things we did together as a family. Shalom was very musical and great at drums. In fact, we used to play a game on shabbos where he would drum his fingers to a song and we would be able to figure out, based on the beats, which song he was drumming to!
When I was in elementary school, we learned how to play the flute. We learned the notes and a few easy-to-play songs. When I first came home with my flute, Shalom was so excited about it and asked if I could get him one. The next time we had this class, I asked the music teacher if I would be able to buy another one. When I brought home that flute for Shalom, he was ecstatic! I taught him the notes and some of the songs I had learned and then slowly, he started teaching himself other songs. I still remember him lying on the bed in his room in his pajamas figuring out the notes to one song he particularly liked - doing it over and over again until he finally got the entire song right.
On the long Friday nights after the meal, he would play a real good chess game with my mother and I would sit on the side and watch. It was such fun!
There is so much more to say, so much more to write. We are lucky that we have such wonderful memories to look back at. It's so comforting to our family that Hashem gave us close to 16 years to enjoy and spend time with my brother. He was a gift. Every child is a gift.
When you go home today, take an extra minute to appreciate your family, your siblings and your parents. No matter what little things they may do that annoy you, because no one is perfect, appreciate the fact that they are alive. I'd give anything to spend another day, even another hour together with my brother but I can't. So when you spend time with your siblings, think of me and think of my brother who I miss so much and am davening to see once again. Say a positive word, encourage others and take advantage of the time you have together.
May this post be a zechus l'ilui nishmas Shalom ben Chaim Nosson.
If you would like to do something small as a zechus for his neshama to go higher, please let me know. You can send me an email or leave a comment with what you are doing. Remember, Shalom cannot do ONE mitzvah anymore! But we all can.
People say it gets easier with time, which may be true but there are times when the pain comes back with an intensity that cannot be described.
In the beginning, the pain is so raw, the family thinks about the person so, so much. The first shabbos, the next shabbos, every shabbos...it just hurts so much and the feelings are there so strongly. Shalom is supposed to be sitting in that chair, it was his seat every week...he said his own kiddush in a very unique tune...and we miss hearing it.
The first yom tov after reminds the family of what last yom tov was like, with that person there as part of the family...
Every yom tov was special to Shalom and he had his own unique way of showing that it meant a lot to him.
On Rosh Hashana he would take out a whole bag of simanim which his friend prepared for him (more than the regular ones our family does) and together with our older brother Mordechai, he would say each yehi ratzon with such simcha, such joy, and try to get the siblings to join in too.
Before Succos, he would spend time looking for a beautiful lulav and esrog. Since my brother Mordechai would sell lulavim and esrogim, he had an "in" and would be able to find a really nice one. His face would shine with excitement when he came home with his own set of arbah minim. And he took such good care of it, wrapping the lulav, hadasim and aravos in wet paper towels and then silver foil to make sure it stayed fresh. He took good care of all his things. He was always so neat, organized and put together.
On succos itself, if one of us would ask to use his lulav and esrog to bench that day, his face would light up with joy as he would unwrap it with care and set it up so we could make a bracha.
Simchas Torah is always a happy time for everyone. Just watching the little kids go around in circles with mini torahs and lots of candy will bring a smile to anyones face. Shalom was no different. As a kid, he would hold his own little torah and dance around in a circle smiling and happy while singing the simchas torah songs...Ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu...
After that, he would come home and play "shul" together with my little brother and our neighbor. He'd call up one person at a time for an aliya while saying "ya'amod" in the real tune and then he'd read from the torah - imitating the trop and trying to be just like the ba'al koray. Then, the bracha would be said "asher bachar banu..." and the kids would all be so proud to be acting just like their fathers do!
Chanukah was always a beautiful yom tov and Shalom had his way of showing how important the chanukah lights are. Although it is not our family's minhag, he would sit by the candles for a full half hour after lighting them and say special perakim of tehillim, tefillos and sing songs in his sweet voice.
Of course, Purim is a yom tov full of fun and opportunities for kids to collect tzeddakah for their yeshivas and schools. The last Purim he was with us, Shalom did the cutest thing. Besides for dressing up with a group of kids from school to go collecting for his yeshiva, he had additional "props". He had saved his lulav and esrog from succos - with a plan. He let his esrog shrink until it was a really small size (I think it's done by leaving it in a box for a while) and spent a long time with his lulav figuring out the exact measurements and size the smallest kosher lulav can be. Shalom took out seforim and checked it up until he knew for sure just how many tefochim was the minimum size for a lulav. Then, he pulled off the leaves of the lulav until he got it right. By the time it was done, it was seriously too cute! He had a mini lulav-which was 100% kosher and then a mini esrog - all saved from succos! Which means that he planned this in advance - he was thinking about this succos time already! We have pictures of him with his "costume" and these are all great memories to look back at!
When it came to cleaning the house and getting ready for Pesach, Shalom did so much to help out. He was available for anything the family needed and would run and do errands as quickly as he could-with his bike. My mother would give him a list of things that she needed to get done, sometimes a few items from one store and a stop at another and then a third stop to drop something off or pick something up - and he would do it all with a smile. Whenever he went shopping, he would come home with the receipt in hand and explain how much everything costs and he'd bring home the exact change-to the penny, counting it up and never keeping any of it for himself.
I remember Shalom going through boxes of matzah together with my older brother Mordechai to find the nicest ones to be used for the sedarim. They would then separate the broken ones and use some of them to make matzah meal. It took quite a while to crush it all up in the blender and was such a big help. It was so nice to see the two of them work together as a team.
Counting sefira in preparation for Shavuos was a very big thing in our house. We all tried - and succeeded - in counting with a bracha every single night. When we were much younger and our bedtime was before we were able to count, during the time between Pesach and Shavuos we were allowed to hop out of bed for those few minutes to count sefira.
Once we were a little older, Shalom put an alarm on his watch that would beep at nine o'clock for one full minute (remember those days when kids set alarms on their watches instead of on cell phones?!) and he would run find me and together we would count with a bracha. We were all so proud when we counted the 49th day and were able to say sheheim sheva shavuos la'omer because that meant that we did it again!
Although there are all these special memories we have of Shalom, I don't want you to come away from this thinking that he was an unusually holy person. He was normal. We remember the regular things that he loved to do and the things we did together as a family. Shalom was very musical and great at drums. In fact, we used to play a game on shabbos where he would drum his fingers to a song and we would be able to figure out, based on the beats, which song he was drumming to!
When I was in elementary school, we learned how to play the flute. We learned the notes and a few easy-to-play songs. When I first came home with my flute, Shalom was so excited about it and asked if I could get him one. The next time we had this class, I asked the music teacher if I would be able to buy another one. When I brought home that flute for Shalom, he was ecstatic! I taught him the notes and some of the songs I had learned and then slowly, he started teaching himself other songs. I still remember him lying on the bed in his room in his pajamas figuring out the notes to one song he particularly liked - doing it over and over again until he finally got the entire song right.
On the long Friday nights after the meal, he would play a real good chess game with my mother and I would sit on the side and watch. It was such fun!
There is so much more to say, so much more to write. We are lucky that we have such wonderful memories to look back at. It's so comforting to our family that Hashem gave us close to 16 years to enjoy and spend time with my brother. He was a gift. Every child is a gift.
When you go home today, take an extra minute to appreciate your family, your siblings and your parents. No matter what little things they may do that annoy you, because no one is perfect, appreciate the fact that they are alive. I'd give anything to spend another day, even another hour together with my brother but I can't. So when you spend time with your siblings, think of me and think of my brother who I miss so much and am davening to see once again. Say a positive word, encourage others and take advantage of the time you have together.
May this post be a zechus l'ilui nishmas Shalom ben Chaim Nosson.
If you would like to do something small as a zechus for his neshama to go higher, please let me know. You can send me an email or leave a comment with what you are doing. Remember, Shalom cannot do ONE mitzvah anymore! But we all can.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Shavuos Thoughts
This was posted before but I think the message is still powerful and you can gain from reading it again.
Here are some beautiful thoughts on Shavuos.
There is no ONE mitzvah that we do on Shavuos. On Pesach, we eat matzah and marror, on succos, we sit in the succah and shake lulav and esrog, on Rosh Hashana, we blow the shofar, etc…but on Shavuos, there is no specific mitzvah that we must do. The difference is, that on Shavuos, all we have to do is want to accept the Torah and that’s all! When Hashem went to all the nations, He asked them, “Do you want the Torah?” and they all answered no for various reasons, but the underlying reason was the same: they were not willing to change their lives around to live by the rules of the Torah. Esav cannot live without murdering and Yishmael cannot live without stealing. They cannot live without filling their desires and doing whatever they want. Hashem is waiting to hear each and every one of us say, “I WANT to accept the Torah today, I WANT to live a life of connection to you! I am willing to make real changes in my life to become closer to you and elevate my level of avodas Hashem!”
And on Shavuos, it is as if Hashem comes around again and asks each person, “Do you want My Torah?” Every person should ask themselves, “Do I want to accept the Torah???!!!”
We might think that when Bnei Yisroel said na’aseh v’nishma, they were saying, “Hashem, we are willing to accept Your Torah even if it’s bitter for us,” but NO! Bnei Yisroel said, “Hashem, even if the Torah is hard for us, chiko mamtakim, v’chulo machmdim, it is so sweet and so delicious!! We know that even if it’s hard for us, we are sure that in the end, it will be the sweetest thing in the world!”
For example, a Jew who is not frum looks at people who keep Shabbos as if they are in a prison and feels so bad for them. But once he gets to taste the beauty of Shabbos, and he realizes what you could do on Shabbos, he knows how lucky we are and doesn’t say that anymore!!!!
When Aharon Hakohen died with the misas neshika, (he died with a kiss from Hashem,) his brother Moshe asked him, “What do you see?”
Aharon answered, “I can’t describe it to you but all I can say is I wish I would have gotten here earlier.”
When you ask a ba’al teshuva what it’s like to keep Torah and mitzvos, he can tell you, I feel like I got a kiss from Hashem. I can’t describe it to you but all I can say is I wish I would have gotten here earlier!!
We have to realize how truly lucky we are to have the Torah, which teaches us how to live the best life in the world!!! Shavuos is the time to appreciate what we have and tell Hashem, I want to live with you!!
(R’ Shimshon Pincus zt”l)
Rabbi Milstein said that it’s very easy for us to list our five least favorite mitzvos, but if chas v’shalom, the goyim would not let us keep the mitzvos, (g’zeiras hashmad) which five mitzvos would be the hardest for us to give up?! Did we ever think about what our most favorite mitzvos are?! So tonight, when you lay down in bed, think about it! Think about which mitzvos you love and you would never want to give up for anything!! And realize how lucky we are to have the Torah and mitzvos as our guide of how to live!!
Shavuos is the time of the birth of Mashiach so may we all be zoche to greet Him THIS YEAR IN YERUSHALAYIM!!
May you all have a beautiful and inspiring Shavuos!!
Here are some beautiful thoughts on Shavuos.
There is no ONE mitzvah that we do on Shavuos. On Pesach, we eat matzah and marror, on succos, we sit in the succah and shake lulav and esrog, on Rosh Hashana, we blow the shofar, etc…but on Shavuos, there is no specific mitzvah that we must do. The difference is, that on Shavuos, all we have to do is want to accept the Torah and that’s all! When Hashem went to all the nations, He asked them, “Do you want the Torah?” and they all answered no for various reasons, but the underlying reason was the same: they were not willing to change their lives around to live by the rules of the Torah. Esav cannot live without murdering and Yishmael cannot live without stealing. They cannot live without filling their desires and doing whatever they want. Hashem is waiting to hear each and every one of us say, “I WANT to accept the Torah today, I WANT to live a life of connection to you! I am willing to make real changes in my life to become closer to you and elevate my level of avodas Hashem!”
And on Shavuos, it is as if Hashem comes around again and asks each person, “Do you want My Torah?” Every person should ask themselves, “Do I want to accept the Torah???!!!”
We might think that when Bnei Yisroel said na’aseh v’nishma, they were saying, “Hashem, we are willing to accept Your Torah even if it’s bitter for us,” but NO! Bnei Yisroel said, “Hashem, even if the Torah is hard for us, chiko mamtakim, v’chulo machmdim, it is so sweet and so delicious!! We know that even if it’s hard for us, we are sure that in the end, it will be the sweetest thing in the world!”
For example, a Jew who is not frum looks at people who keep Shabbos as if they are in a prison and feels so bad for them. But once he gets to taste the beauty of Shabbos, and he realizes what you could do on Shabbos, he knows how lucky we are and doesn’t say that anymore!!!!
When Aharon Hakohen died with the misas neshika, (he died with a kiss from Hashem,) his brother Moshe asked him, “What do you see?”
Aharon answered, “I can’t describe it to you but all I can say is I wish I would have gotten here earlier.”
When you ask a ba’al teshuva what it’s like to keep Torah and mitzvos, he can tell you, I feel like I got a kiss from Hashem. I can’t describe it to you but all I can say is I wish I would have gotten here earlier!!
We have to realize how truly lucky we are to have the Torah, which teaches us how to live the best life in the world!!! Shavuos is the time to appreciate what we have and tell Hashem, I want to live with you!!
(R’ Shimshon Pincus zt”l)
Rabbi Milstein said that it’s very easy for us to list our five least favorite mitzvos, but if chas v’shalom, the goyim would not let us keep the mitzvos, (g’zeiras hashmad) which five mitzvos would be the hardest for us to give up?! Did we ever think about what our most favorite mitzvos are?! So tonight, when you lay down in bed, think about it! Think about which mitzvos you love and you would never want to give up for anything!! And realize how lucky we are to have the Torah and mitzvos as our guide of how to live!!
Shavuos is the time of the birth of Mashiach so may we all be zoche to greet Him THIS YEAR IN YERUSHALAYIM!!
May you all have a beautiful and inspiring Shavuos!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
After Pesach - Practical Suggestions
This was taken from a recent Hakhel post - this was SO good I wanted to share it with all of you!
In his commentary on Pesach, HaRav Dessler, Z’TL, writes that life is like a train ride in which one disembarks at stops along the way to replenish his provisions until he gets to his final destination. The stops include Shabbos, Pesach, and other similar special times and events. Similarly, the Ramban in his commentary to Shir HaShirim (8:3) writes that the way one demonstrates his love of Hashem is by attaching it to a particular mitzvah or act of accomplishment, so that it will go beyond mere thought and be actualized in real terms in this world.
We must recognize that the physical pounds that we may have gained over Pesach is symbolic of the spiritual weight which we really should have gained--and not shed--in the days and weeks after the Holiday. Accordingly, we provide the following clear lessons we all undoubtedly learned over Pesach, and some practical way to implement each one in our daily lives:
1. Hakaras HaTov—Such as Moshe Rabbeinu recognizing the good that the earth, the water, and Basya Bas Paroh did on his behalf. There are also many examples--what we owe to the dogs, the donkeys--and even the Egyptians for being our hosts for so long.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: Pick one person in your home or office and show him/her an added level of thanks or respect daily in recognition of what he/she has done for you, even if it was only a one-time act or event.
2. Segulas Yisroel—Pesach was a “second creation” for mankind, as it not only established Hashem as the Creator of the world, but as Ongoing Supervisor of the world with B’nei Yisroel chosen as the nation to epitomize the purpose of man’s creation. The commentaries on the Siddur explain “Ata V’Chartanu M’Kol Haamim” as specifically referring to Hashem choosing to redeem us from Mitzrayim and giving us the Torah 49 days later. This explains why so many Mitzvos are “Zecher L’Yetzias Mitzrayim”--because they all emanate from this great choice--our eternal selection to be mankind’s crown jewel.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: Do something daily--even if it is a Mitzvah--only because you recognize the gift and opportunity that Hashem has presented you with in being unique, special and different from all that surrounds you--for being that crown jewel!
3. Hashgacha Pratis—Hashem’s care and concern for each individual member of B’nei Yisroel evidenced by such examples as thousands of children being saved from the king’s decree of death, by Moshe Rabbeinu being raised in Paroh’s palace, and B’nei Yisroel walking through Egyptian houses in daylight as just a few feet away Egyptians were enwrapped in such tangible darkness that they could not even move.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: At some time during the day, and really as often as possible, feel the Hashgacha Pratis, Hashem’s watching over you, in your daily life. There must be a reason that you saw a loose dog, that you met this particular person, or that you heard that D’var Torah. Also, of course, remember to say “Baruch Hashem”, “Thank You, Hashem” or “Please Help Me, Hashem” quietly (or out loud) as many times as possible during the day.
4. Reward and Punishment—The Egyptians who hid their animals in fear of Hashem were spared those animals. Similarly, in reward for saying that “Hashem is righteous”, the Egyptians merited burial after their Yam Suf debacle. On the other hand, the Egyptians were punished in kind and in proportion to their level of cruelty and animosity expressed towards Bnei Yisroel, as is evidenced, for example, by the way each individual Mitzri died at the Yam Suf--some sinking quickly like lead, others being tossed as stones, and yet others being thrown about like straw. Even those who were gleeful over our servitude, such as the bechorim (first born) of other nations, got their due. May the same exact justice be meted out against each individual Nazi and each one of our past and present enemies, speedily in our days.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: Before doing a Mitzvah, and prior to or while contemplating a possible Aveira, recognize that Hashem’s Justice is exact, accurate, and correct. When one is rewarded for davening with Kavannah, he will also be rewarded for coming to Shul in the first place, for arriving there on time, and indeed for every step of the way (instead of turning over in bed). On the other hand, when one is punished, every hurtful word will be counted, each mistruth will be weighed and every degree of Chillul Hashem and Kiddush Hashem will be accounted for. As the Pasuk teaches (Devorim 32:4) “Hatzur Tomim P’Alo…”--perfect is His work, for all His Paths are just. This is related to the incredible degree of middah k’neged middah (measure for measure) with which Hashem runs this world (as we learn when studying the precise nature of each of the ten Makkos). Dovid HaMelech teaches (Tehillim 121:5) “Hashem is your shadow”--Hashem responds to us and it is up to us whether that shadow will be dark and gloomy--or illustrious and beautiful!!
5. Teva (nature)—The Makkos, the concomitant freedom of B’nei Yisroel from the Makkos, the miraculous growth of B’nei Yisroel (from seventy to millions of people) while in desperate servitude, the entire world’s viewing and experiencing of the miracles at the Yam Suf, all dispel the concept of nature and natural existence. Pesach occurs in the spring not only because it made it easier for B’nei Yisroel to leave, but also for us to appreciate that what the world calls nature, is really the Hand of Hashem. It is fascinating to note that the Hebrew word for nature, or Teva, consists of the same letters as “Tava”, which means to drown, referring us back to the Sea, to teach us how ‘natural’ events really occur. It is not surprising, then, that we do not eat Chametz on Pesach, which represents nature taking its course on flour and water, but instead use Matzah, which demonstrates control over what would otherwise occur. The Ba’alei Mussar explain that we must take this lesson and exercise control over our own nature, for the more we do so, the more we will overcome the physical forces of this world, and raise ourselves from the impurities surrounding us, up and towards the 49 levels of purity that we must begin to strive for.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: When we see something that looks like a beautiful or even frightening element of nature, recognize that it is really the Yad Hashem, and have it serve as a reminder to you of Hashem’s control over every aspect of the world’s existence--and that you, too, must control your nature and elevate your precious everyday life to the sublime and spiritual!
Labels:
Appreciation,
Growth,
Mitzvah,
Pesach,
Yom Tov
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Pesach Cleaning Thought
Here is an interesting thought on the reward for a mitzvah that takes time, work and effort. It says about Rivka and Eliezer: "And the servant [Eliezer] ran toward her and said, “Please let me drink some water from your pitcher.” (Bereishis 24:17) Rashi quotes a Midrash that says Eliezer ran toward Rivka because he saw that when Rivka drew water for herself, the water rose towards her of its own volition. Yet, the Ramban points out that when Eliezer later asked Rivka to draw water for him, the Pasuk says: ‘[Rivka] herself drew all the water for his camels.’ This time, the water did not rise up to greet her on its own.
The Kedushas Levi explains that when Rivka went to draw water for herself, Hashem accommodated her and made the water rise toward her since she was a tzaddekes. However, since Eliezer had requested water from her, she would now be fulfilling a mitzvah. Hashem did not want to ease her burden, since doing so would lessen her reward. Therefore, He made her work as hard as any other person in order to accomplish the mitzvah.
What a wonderful thought! During this short and sometimes pressured period between Purim and Pesach, we sometimes may wish that things could be a bit easier, and could go just a tad more smoothly. That might not always happen, but we should most definitely be encouraged and energized by the fact that Rivka Imeinu did not have it easy either--and that was especially so--so that the sweat and toil involved with the Mitzvah in the here and now could go a very, very long way in the forever and ever. As you perform your tasks in preparation for the Chag, remember that whatever you are doing is not for the day or for the week, but for the eternal and everlasting thereafter!
Taken from today's hakhel post.
The Kedushas Levi explains that when Rivka went to draw water for herself, Hashem accommodated her and made the water rise toward her since she was a tzaddekes. However, since Eliezer had requested water from her, she would now be fulfilling a mitzvah. Hashem did not want to ease her burden, since doing so would lessen her reward. Therefore, He made her work as hard as any other person in order to accomplish the mitzvah.
What a wonderful thought! During this short and sometimes pressured period between Purim and Pesach, we sometimes may wish that things could be a bit easier, and could go just a tad more smoothly. That might not always happen, but we should most definitely be encouraged and energized by the fact that Rivka Imeinu did not have it easy either--and that was especially so--so that the sweat and toil involved with the Mitzvah in the here and now could go a very, very long way in the forever and ever. As you perform your tasks in preparation for the Chag, remember that whatever you are doing is not for the day or for the week, but for the eternal and everlasting thereafter!
Taken from today's hakhel post.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Purim
Every Yom Tov, says the gemara in Pesachim (68b), is "Chetzyoi LaShem V'Chetyoi Lachem" (half for Hashem and half for you). Of course it is all for Hashem but our celebration has two parts. One part in pure spiritual devotion like davening and learning and the other part is more earthly through eating (albeit with the goal of Kiddush Hashem).
What about Yom Kippur, where is the Chetzyoi Lachem as we are wrapped in talis and fast all day? The Vilna Gaon answers that the Lachem part of Yom Kippur is Purim. Purim is the completion of Yom Kippur. It is the physical half. Moreover say Chazal, Purim is the holier half as Yom Kippur is only Yom "K"Purim a day whose kedusha only approaches the incredible kedusha of Purim.
Rav Shimshon Pincus says that some Meforshim explain the connection between the two with the Chazal that says "Kol HaPoshet Yad Nosnim Lo" (whoever opens his hand is given to). Just like on Purim where we are obligated to give tzedaka to whoever stretches out his hand, so to on Yom Kippur Hashem gives us whatever we ask for. Purim is a day where Hashem also gives whatever we ask and is more effective than Yom Kippur when we need to fast and daven to get it. Purim we can be in a state of obliviousness "Ad D'Lo Yadah" and still get what we need.
Rav Shimshon Pincus himself offers that there are three days of celebration of Matan Torah during the year. Shavuos where we celebrate the first Luchos with the hearing of them on Har Sinai, Yom Kippur when we received the second luchos, and Purim when we finally accepted the Torah by our own volition without being forced. This was the most joyous kabalas HaTorah that came from a physical revelation that the torah is in our best earthy and heavenly interest. That is why on this Kabalas HaTorah we celebrate in a most earthly way.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Rosh Hashana in the Emergency Room
This past Rosh Hashana, I spent a few hours in the Emergency Room with my mother. It was the second day of Yom Tov, Friday, and my mother had an irritation in her eye. Since everyone was in shul and we couldn't contact a doctor (and it couldn't wait until after Shabbos), we walked together to the hospital. On our way, we passed lots of people walking to shul, holding their machzorim...who would guess where we were going on this day?!
We got to the ER (which b"h wasn't too full) and saw another frum older couple with their teenage son (who must have come along to be there with them), talking to a frum woman who was helping them out and knew the ins out outs of the hospital. We overheard her trying to help them get in touch with a doctor so the husband could get dialysis treatment...it was so sad to watch and made me realize how lucky we are to be healthy! Do we realize what it means to have to live with such a thing on a daily basis? This man has to go in three times a week to have his treatments...and now one little thing went wrong, something that had never happened before, and here they were, sitting in the emergency room on Rosh Hashana, trying to get a doctor who would help him!
We were very lucky to be in a hospital that understands how Jewish people work. Since we weren't able to write, they had a rep who did it for us, signed us in and made all the phone calls we needed to get us in as soon as possible.
The woman helping out the couple who came in with kidney problems also told us that someone would be coming to blow shofar for us. It was a very emotional shofar blowing - even though it was really short (only 30 blasts), just to think about all the people who are in the hospital for big things, who need refuos and are counting on this day for their tefillos to be answered. It didn't take much to cry a little bit for these sick people and for all of us to have a year filled with health and happiness...
While we were waiting to see a doctor, two chassidish men passed by with big shopping bags and asked us if we wanted any food. Even though we answered that we were fine and weren't hungry (my mother insisted that I make kiddush before we begin our "journey"!), they gave us two pre-wrapped packages of cookies/rugelach and cakes. They were from a bikkur cholim organization and I thought it was so special of them to go around and give out food to so many people! Mi K'amcha Yisroel!
Sitting next to us was a teenage guy (probably Mexican) who had walked in limping, wearing jeans and a bright yellow short-sleeved t-shirt and flip flops. His foot was swollen and he didn't look very comfortable. My mother offered the cake to him which he took gratefully and ate so quickly, I was wondering when the last time he had eaten a normal meal was.
I tried to imagine the thoughts that must have gone through his head, wishing he were a Jew (just for that moment!) and noticing how Jews really care about one another, even if they don't know each other personally. I felt bad for him, he had to come to the Emergency Room all alone, with no family, who cared for him? Who was worried that he hurt himself and needed help? He must have looked at us enviously when those two strangers offered us food without even knowing us. We are so lucky to be part of such a nation, a nation that will do anything for anyone!!
We got to see a doctor and got a prescription for the right medicine but it was a whole process to get that prescription filled since we could not call the pharmacy and didn't have my mother's insurance cards with us. But the hospital was extremely helpful and did everything they could (and more) to get it for us. I spent some time waiting, davening and thinking about how lucky I am to come for something so little and be able to get out of there relatively quickly. Baruch Hashem we did not have to be admitted, stay at the hospital for a long time and have to deal with so much pain.
I also visited my grandfather who is really sick - it was very scary to see how frail he became and how much older he got. It was such a strong reminder for me, on Rosh Hashana, to see an old person aging...and knowing that one day I too will be old and my body is just flesh and bones and doesn't last forever. Of course, I gave him a bracha that moshiach should come and everyone will be healed and he wont have to be in pain anymore. But it's such a scary reminder, when you see someone so old, their body is a shadow of what they used to be...and you seriously see flesh and bones...and know that one day each person will return to the ground.
Of course, the nurse in the room asked me questions like, "Is today just New Years for you or is it also a holiday?" (It's a holiday where we decide on ways we want to change...) and "What's up with that horn you blow?" (There are many reasons but one of them is that the sound of the horn is supposed to wake us up and get us to look deep inside ourselves and think about how we can change and become better people...) and "When's the day that you atone for your sins?" (That's next Saturday, Yom Kippur, we don't eat anything, we remember our sins and ask g-d to forgive us.) and "What comes next?!" (That's called succos, where we go outside and eat in huts...) "Oh yeah, I remember that! Why do you do that?" (Well, the four walls our like a hug from g-d because now that we achieved atonement, we are confident that g-d will give us a good year and so we sit in His embrace. R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l says that) "That's really beautiful!"
It was fun to answer all her questions!
After that, I went to visit a friend who gave birth before yom tov-it was a nice way to end my hospital visits. I got to see someone who is getting to the end of his life...and someone who just brought another life into this world. It's scary how things move and how we must utilize our time to work on ourselves and accomplish as much as we can while we are here.
Baruch Hashem, I was lucky to only have to go to the ER for something small - but the lessons I took from that day were big and powerful!
We got to the ER (which b"h wasn't too full) and saw another frum older couple with their teenage son (who must have come along to be there with them), talking to a frum woman who was helping them out and knew the ins out outs of the hospital. We overheard her trying to help them get in touch with a doctor so the husband could get dialysis treatment...it was so sad to watch and made me realize how lucky we are to be healthy! Do we realize what it means to have to live with such a thing on a daily basis? This man has to go in three times a week to have his treatments...and now one little thing went wrong, something that had never happened before, and here they were, sitting in the emergency room on Rosh Hashana, trying to get a doctor who would help him!
We were very lucky to be in a hospital that understands how Jewish people work. Since we weren't able to write, they had a rep who did it for us, signed us in and made all the phone calls we needed to get us in as soon as possible.
The woman helping out the couple who came in with kidney problems also told us that someone would be coming to blow shofar for us. It was a very emotional shofar blowing - even though it was really short (only 30 blasts), just to think about all the people who are in the hospital for big things, who need refuos and are counting on this day for their tefillos to be answered. It didn't take much to cry a little bit for these sick people and for all of us to have a year filled with health and happiness...
While we were waiting to see a doctor, two chassidish men passed by with big shopping bags and asked us if we wanted any food. Even though we answered that we were fine and weren't hungry (my mother insisted that I make kiddush before we begin our "journey"!), they gave us two pre-wrapped packages of cookies/rugelach and cakes. They were from a bikkur cholim organization and I thought it was so special of them to go around and give out food to so many people! Mi K'amcha Yisroel!
Sitting next to us was a teenage guy (probably Mexican) who had walked in limping, wearing jeans and a bright yellow short-sleeved t-shirt and flip flops. His foot was swollen and he didn't look very comfortable. My mother offered the cake to him which he took gratefully and ate so quickly, I was wondering when the last time he had eaten a normal meal was.
I tried to imagine the thoughts that must have gone through his head, wishing he were a Jew (just for that moment!) and noticing how Jews really care about one another, even if they don't know each other personally. I felt bad for him, he had to come to the Emergency Room all alone, with no family, who cared for him? Who was worried that he hurt himself and needed help? He must have looked at us enviously when those two strangers offered us food without even knowing us. We are so lucky to be part of such a nation, a nation that will do anything for anyone!!
We got to see a doctor and got a prescription for the right medicine but it was a whole process to get that prescription filled since we could not call the pharmacy and didn't have my mother's insurance cards with us. But the hospital was extremely helpful and did everything they could (and more) to get it for us. I spent some time waiting, davening and thinking about how lucky I am to come for something so little and be able to get out of there relatively quickly. Baruch Hashem we did not have to be admitted, stay at the hospital for a long time and have to deal with so much pain.
I also visited my grandfather who is really sick - it was very scary to see how frail he became and how much older he got. It was such a strong reminder for me, on Rosh Hashana, to see an old person aging...and knowing that one day I too will be old and my body is just flesh and bones and doesn't last forever. Of course, I gave him a bracha that moshiach should come and everyone will be healed and he wont have to be in pain anymore. But it's such a scary reminder, when you see someone so old, their body is a shadow of what they used to be...and you seriously see flesh and bones...and know that one day each person will return to the ground.
Of course, the nurse in the room asked me questions like, "Is today just New Years for you or is it also a holiday?" (It's a holiday where we decide on ways we want to change...) and "What's up with that horn you blow?" (There are many reasons but one of them is that the sound of the horn is supposed to wake us up and get us to look deep inside ourselves and think about how we can change and become better people...) and "When's the day that you atone for your sins?" (That's next Saturday, Yom Kippur, we don't eat anything, we remember our sins and ask g-d to forgive us.) and "What comes next?!" (That's called succos, where we go outside and eat in huts...) "Oh yeah, I remember that! Why do you do that?" (Well, the four walls our like a hug from g-d because now that we achieved atonement, we are confident that g-d will give us a good year and so we sit in His embrace. R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l says that) "That's really beautiful!"
It was fun to answer all her questions!
After that, I went to visit a friend who gave birth before yom tov-it was a nice way to end my hospital visits. I got to see someone who is getting to the end of his life...and someone who just brought another life into this world. It's scary how things move and how we must utilize our time to work on ourselves and accomplish as much as we can while we are here.
Baruch Hashem, I was lucky to only have to go to the ER for something small - but the lessons I took from that day were big and powerful!
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