Letting Go

Tomorrow is a big day
It's the first day
Of a new school year
For my big boy
Oh boy!
I'm nervous
For him
He's excited
New knapsack
All packed
Sharpened pencils
Nice and neat
How sweet
To see
His cute little face
Eager to start
A new year
In yeshiva
As a big boy
But I'm nervous
A new year
A new start
A new rebbe
How will it go?
I know
I need to let go
Of my worries
Of my fears
He's prepared
There's nothing more
I can do
He can do
It's not in my hands
But...I so much want
It to be a good year
A productive year
A year
Where
He accomplishes
Learns
And grows
So much
There's so much
That is at stake here
He's a good kid
Eager to please
But he's also smart
Too smart, sometimes
And I worry
Will his rebbe be smarter?
Will he know what to do?
Will he be able to 
React appropriately
When my son 
Tests his boundaries?
Will he know
How to handle
The trouble
The ideas 
The mischief
My son might come up with?
He's a good kid
And he's eager to please
But he's smart, my son
Too smart, sometimes
And his brain works
So quickly
That before you blink
He can be on the brink
Of another ohmygosh moment
Heart stopping
For me
Feet climbing
For him
He's so high up
I can't figure out how he got there
But he knows
How to get down
He's smart enough
Too figure out the rungs
Or cracks
Or holes
On the wall
On the gate
On top of that garage
And he'll climb
Or jump
Or slide
Right down
It's fun for him
Not for me
So I get nervous
For him.
He has so much potential
He can reach so high
He can soar
He can fly
Rebbe...?
Will you try
Too work with him?
Too keep him
Stimulated
Instead of frustrated?
Busy doing
Instead of bored?
Looking for something to do?
He experienced both
And I'm telling you
He wants to please
I want to feel at ease
For tomorrow
For the big day
I want him to come home and say
How great it was
How much he loves his rebbe
How excited he is for tomorrow
Like he did last year
Every single day.
I pray
Today
And every day
That the Torah should be sweet
In his mouth
Like it is now
That he should love to learn
To acquire
To absorb
And take in
Every lesson
Every word.
There is so much in your hands,
Dear rebbe
But I need to remember
Whose Hands
This really is in
It's not in my hands
(And so I daven)
It's not in my big boy's hands
(Even though those hands can
Keep quite busy!)
It's not even in
The rebbe's hands
(As much as he tries
To make each lesson come alive)
It's in the Hands of
Hashem above
And so
I send up
Another prayer
And another
I don't stop davening
And hoping
And davening some more
As I shed a tear
For a productive year.
I am nervous
I am scared
I am worried
But I do know
That I need to let go
So I take a deep breath
Inhale and internalize
Exhale and let go
And inhale once again
To let that emunah seep into me
And exhale once more
So I can truly let go.

Worrying

This was posted once before but it's a good one and I wanted to put it up here once more so you can gain from it.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it keeps you going but gets you nowhere."

I was thinking about this when I was worrying about something. I kept thinking, "what if this happens?!" and "what if that happens?!" and then I said to myself, "You know, there are so many things that could go wrong but don't and all you have to do is put your trust in Hashem. Hashem loves you and only has the best things in mind for you. All you have to do is believe in Him."

I had to keep thinking these thoughts and reminding myself that I am totally in Hashem's hands. Hashem loves me and wants to keep me happy so why should I worry so much? And besides, it's true that worrying won't accomplish anything productive at all! All it does is make you nervous. And that wont really get you very far!!

So why do I worry so much? I think it's because I need to strengthen my emunah in Hashem. Because if I really trusted that Hashem only wants to make me happy and only wants to do good for me, I wouldn't worry so much. In fact, I wouldn't worry at all!! Now, it's easy to say that I shouldn't worry at all, but there are things on my mind and I do think about the things that could go wrong in my day, in my week ahead and in the month that is coming along. But no! Hashem does not want us to spend our time worrying and thinking negative thoughts. He wants us to think positive and trust in Him. Thinking positive is very productive because then you want to follow your thoughts.

It's like this: If I wake up in the morning thinking, "Oh no! It's raining outside! It's gonna be a horrible day..." then, yes, chances are that my day wont turn out so nicely. But if I wake up that same morning and say, "Modeh Ani! Thank you Hashem that I am alive and healthy! Hey! It's raining outside! I'll take an umbrella and I'll be fine." The rain didn't go away but my attitude is what will make all the difference!

So next time you have thoughts that make you nervous, think about the rocking chair, it just moves back and forth, back and forth...but doesn't get you anywhere! That's what worrying is like, it keeps you thinking those same, "what if" thoughts again and again but you end up in the same place, without moving at all!

Read the comments on it too. Last time I posted it some questions were answered there!

Don't Worry

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it keeps you going but gets you nowhere."

I was thinking about this when I was worrying about something. I kept thinking, "what if this happens?!" and "what if that happens?!" and then I said to myself, "You know, there are so many things that could go wrong but don't and all you have to do is put your trust in Hashem. Hashem loves you and only has the best things in mind for you. All you have to do is believe in Him."
I had to keep thinking these thoughts and reminding myself that I am totally in Hashem's hands. Hashem loves me and wants to keep me happy so why should I worry so much? And besides, it's true that worrying won't accomplish anything productive at all! All it does is make you nervous. And that wont really get you very far!!

So why do I worry so much? I think it's because I need to strengthen my emunah in Hashem. Because if I really trusted that Hashem only wants to make me happy and only wants to do good for me, I wouldn't worry so much. In fact, I wouldn't worry at all!! Now, it's easy to say that I shouldn't worry at all, but there are things on my mind and I do think about the things that could go wrong in my day, in my week ahead and in the month that is coming along. But no! Hashem does not want us to spend our time worrying and thinking negative thoughts. He wants us to think positive and trust in Him. Thinking positive is very productive because then you want to follow your thoughts.

It's like this: If I wake up in the morning thinking, "Oh no! It's raining outside! It's gonna be a horrible day..." then, yes, chances are that my day wont turn out so nicely. But if I wake up that same morning and say, "Modeh Ani! Thank you Hashem that I am alive and healthy! Hey! It's raining outside! I'll take an umbrella and I'll be fine." The rain didn't go away but my attitude is what will make all the difference!

So next time you have thoughts that make you nervous, think about the rocking chair, it just moves back and forth, back and forth...but doesn't get you anywhere! That's what worrying is like, it keeps you thinking those same, "what if" thoughts again and again but you end up in the same place, without moving at all!