Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Letting Go

Tomorrow is a big day
It's the first day
Of a new school year
For my big boy
Oh boy!
I'm nervous
For him
He's excited
New knapsack
All packed
Sharpened pencils
Nice and neat
How sweet
To see
His cute little face
Eager to start
A new year
In yeshiva
As a big boy
But I'm nervous
A new year
A new start
A new rebbe
How will it go?
I know
I need to let go
Of my worries
Of my fears
He's prepared
There's nothing more
I can do
He can do
It's not in my hands
But...I so much want
It to be a good year
A productive year
A year
He accomplishes
And grows
So much
There's so much
That is at stake here
He's a good kid
Eager to please
But he's also smart
Too smart, sometimes
And I worry
Will his rebbe be smarter?
Will he know what to do?
Will he be able to 
React appropriately
When my son 
Tests his boundaries?
Will he know
How to handle
The trouble
The ideas 
The mischief
My son might come up with?
He's a good kid
And he's eager to please
But he's smart, my son
Too smart, sometimes
And his brain works
So quickly
That before you blink
He can be on the brink
Of another ohmygosh moment
Heart stopping
For me
Feet climbing
For him
He's so high up
I can't figure out how he got there
But he knows
How to get down
He's smart enough
Too figure out the rungs
Or cracks
Or holes
On the wall
On the gate
On top of that garage
And he'll climb
Or jump
Or slide
Right down
It's fun for him
Not for me
So I get nervous
For him.
He has so much potential
He can reach so high
He can soar
He can fly
Will you try
Too work with him?
Too keep him
Instead of frustrated?
Busy doing
Instead of bored?
Looking for something to do?
He experienced both
And I'm telling you
He wants to please
I want to feel at ease
For tomorrow
For the big day
I want him to come home and say
How great it was
How much he loves his rebbe
How excited he is for tomorrow
Like he did last year
Every single day.
I pray
And every day
That the Torah should be sweet
In his mouth
Like it is now
That he should love to learn
To acquire
To absorb
And take in
Every lesson
Every word.
There is so much in your hands,
Dear rebbe
But I need to remember
Whose Hands
This really is in
It's not in my hands
(And so I daven)
It's not in my big boy's hands
(Even though those hands can
Keep quite busy!)
It's not even in
The rebbe's hands
(As much as he tries
To make each lesson come alive)
It's in the Hands of
Hashem above
And so
I send up
Another prayer
And another
I don't stop davening
And hoping
And davening some more
As I shed a tear
For a productive year.
I am nervous
I am scared
I am worried
But I do know
That I need to let go
So I take a deep breath
Inhale and internalize
Exhale and let go
And inhale once again
To let that emunah seep into me
And exhale once more
So I can truly let go.


  1. I think every good parent feels the way you do. It's nerve wracking letting go but it's the only way. May he have a productive and inspiring year and he should always have this enthusiasm for learning and yiddishkeit.


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