For Everything a Blessing

Thank you M.B. for emailing this story to me.

When I was an elementary school student in Yeshiva—a Jewish parochial school with both religious and secular studies—my classmates and I used to find amusing a sign that was posted just outside the bathroom. It was an ancient Jewish blessing, commonly referred to as the asher yatzar benediction, that was supposed to be recited after one relieved oneself. For grade school children, there could be nothing more strange or ridiculous than to link the acts of micturition and defecation with holy words that mentioned God's name. Blessings were reserved for prayers, for holy days, or for thanking God for food or for some act of deliverance, but surely not for a bodily function that evoked smirks and giggles.

It took me several decades to realize the wisdom that lay behind this blessing that was composed by Abayei, a fourth century Babylonian rabbi. Abayei's blessing is contained in the Talmud, an encyclopedic work of Jewish law and lore that was written over the first five centuries of the common era. The Jewish religion is chock-full of these blessings, or brachot, as they are called in Hebrew. In fact, an entire tractate of Talmud, 128 pages in length, is devoted to brachot.

On page 120 (Brachot 60b) of the ancient text it is written: "Abayei said, when one comes out of a privy he should say: Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is obvious and known before Your throne of glory that if one of them were to be ruptured or one of them blocked, it would be impossible for a man to survive and stand before You. Blessed are You that heals all flesh and does wonders."

An observant Jew is supposed to recite this blessing in Hebrew after each visit to the bathroom.

We young Yeshiva students were reminded of our obligation to recite this prayer by the signs that contained its text that were posted just outside the rest room doors. It is one thing, however, to post these signs and it is quite another to realistically expect preadolescents to have the maturity to realize the wisdom of and need for reciting a 1600-year-old blessing related to bodily functions.

It was not until my second year of medical school that I first began to understand the appropriateness of this short prayer.

Pathophysiology brought home to me the terrible consequences of even minor aberrations in the structure and function of the human body. At the very least, I began to no longer take for granted the normalcy of my trips to the bathroom.
Instead, I started to realize how many things had to operate just right for these minor interruptions of my daily routine to run smoothly. I thought of Abayei and his blessing. I recalled my days at Yeshiva and remembered how silly that sign outside the bathroom had seemed. But after seeing patients whose lives revolved around their dialysis machines, and others with colostomies and urinary catheters, I realized how wise the rabbi had been.

And then it happened: I began to recite Abayei's brocha. At first I had to go back to my siddur, the Jewish prayer book, to get the text right. With repetition—and there were many opportunities for a novice to get to know this blessing well—I could recite it fluently and with sincerity and understanding.

Over the years, reciting the asher yatzar has become for me an opportunity to offer thanks not just for the proper functioning of my excretory organs, but for my overall good health. The text, after all, refers to catastrophic consequences of the rupture or obstruction of any bodily structure, not only those of the urinary or gastrointestinal tract. Could Abayei, for example, have foreseen that "blockage" of the "cavity," or lumen, of the coronary artery would lead to the commonest cause of death in industrialized countries some 16 centuries later?

I have often wondered if other people also yearn for some way to express gratitude for their good health. Physicians especially, who are exposed daily to the ravages that illness can wreak, must sometimes feel the need to express thanks for being well and thus well-being. Perhaps a generic, nondenominational asher yatzar could be composed for those who want to verbalize their gratitude for being blessed with good health.

There was one unforgettable patient whose story reinforced the truth and beauty of the asher yatzer for me forever. Josh was a 20-year-old student who sustained an unstable fracture of his third and fourth cervical vertebrae in a motor vehicle crash. He nearly died from his injury and required emergency intubation and ventilatory support. He was initially totally quadriplegic but for weak flexion of his right biceps.

A long and difficult period of stabilization and rehabilitation followed. There were promising signs of neurological recovery over the first few months that came suddenly and unexpectedly: movement of a finger here, flexion of a toe there, return of sensation here, adduction of a muscle group there. With incredible courage, hard work, and an excellent physical therapist, Josh improved day by day. In time, and after what seemed like a miracle, he was able to walk slowly with a leg brace and a cane.

But Josh continued to require intermittent catheterization. I knew only too well the problems and perils this young man would face for the rest of his life because of a neurogenic bladder. The urologists were very pessimistic about his chances for not requiring catheterization. They had not seen this occur after a spinal cord injury of this severity.

Then the impossible happened. I was there the day Josh no longer required a urinary catheter. I thought of Abayei's asher yatzar prayer. Pointing out that I could not imagine a more meaningful scenario for its recitation, I suggested to Josh, who was also a Yeshiva graduate, that he say the prayer. He agreed. As he recited the ancient bracha, tears welled in my eyes.

Josh is my son.

Kenneth M. Prager, MD
New York, NY

From: http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/277/20/1589.full.pdf

He is Two Years Old Now

Today was Shalom Baruch's 2nd birthday.

There is so much that happens in two years of a person's life, especially in the first two years of their life. The growth and development that happens from the time a baby is born through the toddler stages are literally astounding. From learning how to smile, recognize peoples' faces, eat solids, crawl, walk, talk, put words and phrases together to come out with a coherent thought, play and share, it is truly a miracle to watch a child learn so much.

Today, I took time to remember the moment Shalom Baruch was born, the doctor's shout of "It's a BOY!" and my relief to have finally given birth. It wasn't until close to 14 hours later, when I was alone in the hospital bed without any visitors, while I was holding my son that it hit me: this is MY son. My own child. My precious baby that I will love and care for all my life. Nothing could take that love away.

I remember the intense feelings I felt as I looked into my little newborn's eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks, trembling and shaking and talking to my baby, telling him all I wanted, wished and dreamed for - all the hopes I had for this tiny, pure, innocent neshama.

I remember thinking at the time: there is no one else here in the room, just me, Hashem and my precious little one.

It was such an intense few minutes.

I'll remember it forever.

It makes me think, didn't we all start off this way?

Innocent.

Pure.

What happened?

How did we become so contaminated?

There is so much garbage out there.

We need to keep our eyes, our ears and especially our brains pure and clean.

The internet poses so many challenges. With just one curious click of the mouse, you can find yourself reading, watching or listening to something that certainly should not enter your soul, that pure neshama that you were born with.

So on this day, I take it upon myself, as a zechus for my own children, to be extra careful with the things I look at and read so that they remain as pure as possible. The challenge is incredible. In the summer especially, there are all kinds of people dressed (or not!) outside and it is so easy to take that second glance. It takes work to look away, to guard my eyes, to not click that link and read something that is not good for my neshama.

Don't we all want to keep our purity intact, to the biggest extent possible?

Today is also a day when I can look back and thank Hashem for the many gifts he has given me in these past two years.

A healthy child.

That alone is enough to fill pages and pages of reasons to be thankful.

Two healthy children.

I think I'll stop there.

Hashem, I can never thank you enough.

Love Comes in Many Guises- an Aish Video

Rosh Hashana in the Emergency Room

This past Rosh Hashana, I spent a few hours in the Emergency Room with my mother. It was the second day of Yom Tov, Friday, and my mother had an irritation in her eye. Since everyone was in shul and we couldn't contact a doctor (and it couldn't wait until after Shabbos), we walked together to the hospital. On our way, we passed lots of people walking to shul, holding their machzorim...who would guess where we were going on this day?!

We got to the ER (which b"h wasn't too full) and saw another frum older couple with their teenage son (who must have come along to be there with them), talking to a frum woman who was helping them out and knew the ins out outs of the hospital. We overheard her trying to help them get in touch with a doctor so the husband could get dialysis treatment...it was so sad to watch and made me realize how lucky we are to be healthy! Do we realize what it means to have to live with such a thing on a daily basis? This man has to go in three times a week to have his treatments...and now one little thing went wrong, something that had never happened before, and here they were, sitting in the emergency room on Rosh Hashana, trying to get a doctor who would help him!

We were very lucky to be in a hospital that understands how Jewish people work. Since we weren't able to write, they had a rep who did it for us, signed us in and made all the phone calls we needed to get us in as soon as possible.

The woman helping out the couple who came in with kidney problems also told us that someone would be coming to blow shofar for us. It was a very emotional shofar blowing - even though it was really short (only 30 blasts), just to think about all the people who are in the hospital for big things, who need refuos and are counting on this day for their tefillos to be answered. It didn't take much to cry a little bit for these sick people and for all of us to have a year filled with health and happiness...

While we were waiting to see a doctor, two chassidish men passed by with big shopping bags and asked us if we wanted any food. Even though we answered that we were fine and weren't hungry (my mother insisted that I make kiddush before we begin our "journey"!), they gave us two pre-wrapped packages of cookies/rugelach and cakes. They were from a bikkur cholim organization and I thought it was so special of them to go around and give out food to so many people! Mi K'amcha Yisroel!

Sitting next to us was a teenage guy (probably Mexican) who had walked in limping, wearing jeans and a bright yellow short-sleeved t-shirt and flip flops. His foot was swollen and he didn't look very comfortable. My mother offered the cake to him which he took gratefully and ate so quickly, I was wondering when the last time he had eaten a normal meal was.

I tried to imagine the thoughts that must have gone through his head, wishing he were a Jew (just for that moment!) and noticing how Jews really care about one another, even if they don't know each other personally. I felt bad for him, he had to come to the Emergency Room all alone, with no family, who cared for him? Who was worried that he hurt himself and needed help? He must have looked at us enviously when those two strangers offered us food without even knowing us. We are so lucky to be part of such a nation, a nation that will do anything for anyone!!

We got to see a doctor and got a prescription for the right medicine but it was a whole process to get that prescription filled since we could not call the pharmacy and didn't have my mother's insurance cards with us. But the hospital was extremely helpful and did everything they could (and more) to get it for us. I spent some time waiting, davening and thinking about how lucky I am to come for something so little and be able to get out of there relatively quickly. Baruch Hashem we did not have to be admitted, stay at the hospital for a long time and have to deal with so much pain.

I also visited my grandfather who is really sick - it was very scary to see how frail he became and how much older he got. It was such a strong reminder for me, on Rosh Hashana, to see an old person aging...and knowing that one day I too will be old and my body is just flesh and bones and doesn't last forever. Of course, I gave him a bracha that moshiach should come and everyone will be healed and he wont have to be in pain anymore. But it's such a scary reminder, when you see someone so old, their body is a shadow of what they used to be...and you seriously see flesh and bones...and know that one day each person will return to the ground.

Of course, the nurse in the room asked me questions like, "Is today just New Years for you or is it also a holiday?" (It's a holiday where we decide on ways we want to change...) and "What's up with that horn you blow?" (There are many reasons but one of them is that the sound of the horn is supposed to wake us up and get us to look deep inside ourselves and think about how we can change and become better people...) and "When's the day that you atone for your sins?" (That's next Saturday, Yom Kippur, we don't eat anything, we remember our sins and ask g-d to forgive us.) and "What comes next?!" (That's called succos, where we go outside and eat in huts...) "Oh yeah, I remember that! Why do you do that?" (Well, the four walls our like a hug from g-d because now that we achieved atonement, we are confident that g-d will give us a good year and so we sit in His embrace. R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l says that) "That's really beautiful!"
It was fun to answer all her questions!

After that, I went to visit a friend who gave birth before yom tov-it was a nice way to end my hospital visits. I got to see someone who is getting to the end of his life...and someone who just brought another life into this world. It's scary how things move and how we must utilize our time to work on ourselves and accomplish as much as we can while we are here.

Baruch Hashem, I was lucky to only have to go to the ER for something small - but the lessons I took from that day were big and powerful!

The Doctor

This poem was written by Chaim Bashevkin and was in the Yated last year. I think it has an incredible and powerful message. Enjoy!

The doctor's office
Cloaked in dread
A somber spirit looms
Uneasiness
Uncertainty
Fills each one of the rooms

The tears are clearly
Palpable
The husband and the wife
Is there anything
That we can do
That may just save his life?

"I'm sorry,"
Said the doctor
"There's nothing I can do
I wish there was
Some miracle
That I can offer you"

Dejected
They both left the room
And shuffled back on home
When suddenly
A ring was heard
Coming from the phone

The doctor
Found a protocol!
He said it's guaranteed!
And so the couple
Rushed back in
With superhuman speed

"It may take
Too much effort"
The doctor did explain
"And nausea and tiredness
And often lots of pain"

"Of course! Of course!
We shall comply
If this can bring the cure!
No task you ask
Is beyond us
We're positive! We're sure!

"We'll wake up
Before dawn each day
We'll follow protocol
We'll listen to
Each word you say
We'll miss nothing at all!

"We'll read instructions
Carefully
We will not skip a word
We won't ignore
A thing you say
For that would be absurd!

We'll watch our actions
Cautiously
We'll eat just what prescribed
We'll study what
The doctor said
And every word transcribed

For somehow when
We know "it works"
No treatment is a pain
We'd follow
Every therapy
With zest and not complain

Imagine that the doctor
Who truly holds the key
Would tell us the prescription
To true eternity

We'd wake up hours
Before dawn
And reach each slichah slowly
We'd open up
Our eyes and ears
To only items holy

We'd follow
Shaarie Teshuvah
Like a sacred guide to cure
If we believed
In every word
If we were really sure

Would it be hard?
To learn some more
And give more charity?
Recite each bracha
Loud and clear
And bentch with clarity?

If we'd believe
The doctor said
That this would work for sure
We'd follow
Every protocol
Not treat it like a chore

We're in the Elul hospital
The prognosis
Is grim
They said that there
May not be hope
To save our life and limb

And suddenly
Almighty
The Doctor gave the cure
Prescribed it
And He promised us
Recovery for sure

Bud suddenly
We're tired
We'd like to fall asleep
Not listen
When the shofar sounds
And not wake up and weep

If only
The Almighty
Would wear a nice white coat
And come in
With a stethoscope
On every word we'd dote

So wake up
My dear readers
Let's follow the prescription
And I'm sure
Health and happiness
Will be our great inscription

Crying for Moshiach

A story is told of a mother whose life was threatened during childbirth; her unborn child's life was threatened as well.

The Doctor said that he couldn't save both; it will have to be either the Mother or the baby.

The Mother decided that she would give up her life for her baby.

And so it was, the Doctor saved the baby and the Mother passed away. The baby was a boy and years passed and it was the day of his Bar-Mitzvah. His father took him to the Kever of his mother so that he could daven.

It was emotional for his father but the child was unemotional and passive. He didn't cry and he wanted to leave quickly so that he could get on with the Bar-Mitzvah celebrations.

After they left, his father turned to him and said, "How could you not cry, this was your Mother and she gave up her life for you!"

If we don't make an effort to concentrate on the loss of the Bais HaMikdash we are as unemotional as this son!

Hashem destroyed his Bais HaMikdash in order to spare us! He took out His wrath on wood and stone rather than annihilate the Jewish people! How can we not cry over it?

Do we begin to understand what we are crying about? Why we should cry? We need to spend some time, now during the nine days, to think about what we are missing! We are missing that unbelievable clarity and closeness to Hashem that existed during that time! We are so far away, so distant and want to be so close...

So spend some time during the next week thinking about why you want moshiach to come and then daven hard for it...because we need him badly!!

Saved!

My friend sent this unbelievable story to me and I wanted to share it with all of you.

People tend to be skeptical when it comes to this but it happened to MY family so I know it's true. My mother isn't the type at all to have weird thoughts or whatever...I'm telling you, if you'd know my mother, you'd know she's not this "spiritual" person. She was even embarrassed to repeat this story because she realizes how hard it is to believe...but when you read this story you will see the hashgacha so clearly!

The story began when my family went to Eretz Yisrael in the year 2001 for Yom Kippur and Sukkos. My older brother, who was learning in Yeshiva there was able to arrange through an acquaintance for us to daven in R’ Elyashiv’s minyan on Yom Kippur. It was a very uplifting experience for us to daven with the Gadol Hador on the holiest day of the year, and to have our tefilos go up to the Kisei Hakovod together with R’ Elyashiv’s.

11 Months Later, Erev Rosh Hashanah:

One night, my nephew, Menachem, a one year old, was not acting himself. His hand was red and swollen and he was very lethargic. His parents assumed it was because he fell off a chair that day and figured he had injured his hand in the process. He was running a fever too but his parents thought it was because he was teething. In any case, they called the doctor. The doctor said that it wasn’t urgent and that they can wait until the morning to take care of it. My mother, having a Bubby’s intuition, begged my brother to go to the emergency room right away. They listened and after my nephew was examined they were told that he had a very dangerous inflammation called necrotizing fasciitis. The doctors told them that had they waited overnight, it could have spread to the heart and been fatal, chas v’shalom. Even if hadn’t spread to the heart at that point, he would have been at a severe risk of losing his hand chas v'shalom. Menachem had a few emergency surgeries to remove the infection and puss that had accumulated in his hand.

During that time period, my mother, Menachem’s grandmother, had a dream. In the dream, my mother saw R’ Elyashiv (the face wasn’t R’ Elyashiv, but in the dream she knew it was) looking very upset and he told her that one of her sons is using a shaver that has a razor in it and he will be punished for it. Immediately the next morning, my mother approached all her sons about it including Menachem’s father and asked them if they are using a shaver with a razor in it. Menachem’s father said that he had recently bought a new shaver in a Jewish frum store and they reassured him that they had removed the razor. My mother begged him to please check again and sure enough the razor was still inside the shaver! He took care of it immediately.

Unbelievably, the Doctors had been saying that Menachem would need to be hospitalized for at least another 2-3 weeks. Suddenly, right after he took care of his shaver, the doctor walked in and said that Menachem is fine and he was to be discharged that very same day!

Boruch Hashem Menachem fully recovered and is a smart, active nine-year-old today. Aside for the scars on his hand, he doesn’t remembering anything from his near brush with death.
In the zechus of the Tzaddik, our Menachem was saved!

This story shows you that you never know how your actions can have an affect on someone else-and how mitzvos really do protect us. Although we may not understand the reasons why we do certain mitzvos, they are important to follow through all the way, with every little halacha! You see that my friend's brother's mitzvah had an affect on his own son's health and on his life!! Another lesson to take from this story is that our gedolim are protecting us and watching out for us all the time! Wow!!

Lessons from a Doctor's Visit

I had to go to the doctor today for something that should have been a really quick checkup. In and out. When I got there, I was told that the doctor went out to daven mincha and would be back in about 10 minutes. I figured that if I’m waiting there anyway, I might as well take advantage of the time and daven mincha there. I usually don’t get to daven (more than just the brachos) on a regular day so for me, this was exciting!

Now, this doctor has no clue that he gave me an opportunity to daven! He just did what he does every day at that time, he leaves his office to daven mincha with a minyan and doesn’t schedule any appointments at that time. Since I just had to walk in and be there for about 3 minutes, I did not need to schedule an official appointment (they told me to come anytime, which is why I came and he wasn’t there). I think it is an amazing thing that you can do something – and it can be a “regular” thing for you and you have no idea that you are inspiring someone else or giving them a chance to do a mitzvah!

Just to tell you a little bit about this doctor, so you can hear how special he is, I’ll share a few things with you. He has these signs hanging in his office like, “mitzvah gedolah le’hiyos b’simcha tamid” and you can’t help but smile… :-D He has other inspiring signs around his office too.

I’ve been at this doctor many times. I don’t wanna go into the gory details of why I had to come back to this foot doctor every 6 to 8 months, but I’ll tell you that every time he had to give me a shot to make my toe numb, and he saw that I was in pain, he asked me, “Are you mochel?” or “I’m sorry for hurting you. I hope you are mochel me.” And I was totally floored! I mean, this is your job!! You are doing this so that I could feel better! And you are asking me for mechilah for giving me a needle and causing me pain??!!!

There are some really special people in this world. It makes me think, “mi k’amcha yisroel!” Here you have a doctor, who has a job that involves having the patient go through a small amount of pain so they could feel better in the end, and he asks for forgiveness for hurting me!! That is amazing!

This is also a great mashal for pain in this world. We do not understand why we have to go through certain painful situations but we do know that pain is a kapparah and it erases our aveiros. It’s like my toe – it had an infection and needed to go through a certain amount of pain (needle plus other stuff which I wont go into…) in order to heal. When Hashem puts you through pain, it is in order to get rid of the infection on your neshama. Once you go through the pain, there is a certain healing process that your neshama goes through. It may take a few days, it may take a few months, but once you experience it, your neshama is cleaner than before, it is healed!!!