Friday, December 28, 2018

Parshas Shemos

When Aaron came to greet his younger brother Moshe, he was not jealous of him. The Torah tells us that he was totally and completely happy for him in his heart.

How can we feel genuinely happy for others when they have more or become more than us? By internalizing that any good another person has will never take away from the good Hashem has planned for us. So if someone gets a better mark, a better job or position, has more or (what looks like) better children, or is more wealthy, remember that this is meant for them! We should continue to daven for our own needs and wants, but we can have an ayin tova, a good eye that fargins, by remembering this truth: someone else's good will never take away from whatever is destined for us.

May we be able to share in others' successes and accomplishments with true happiness in our hearts!

Friday, December 21, 2018

Parshas Vayechi

When Yaakov blessed his two grandsons, he put his right hand on his younger grandson, Efrayim and his left hand on the older one, Menashe. He did this because he foresaw that the descendants of Efrayim would be very great.

Sometimes in life, we feel small and unimportant. We see people who seem greater, more popular or more accomplished than us. We should remember that there is so much hidden potential in each of us and we never know who will ultimately achieve more. We shouldn't let feelings of inferiority bring us down, greatness is within our reach!

May we be able to quiet any inner voices that tell us we can't and find the strength to keep trying to accomplish our goals!

Friday, December 14, 2018

Parshas Vayigash

Yehudah stood up for his younger brother Binyomin when Yosef threatened to keep him in mitzrayim as his slave. He was the one who took responsibility to bring him back home to his father.

When we encounter someone who is in a vulnerable position, we should stand up for them and do whatever we can to help them. Whether it's in school or at work, at home or at shul, there are many people who need someone to stick up for them when they are being wronged. Sometimes it's a life situation and they need help. If we have the ability to make their burden lighter in any way, we should step up to the plate and take responsibility to do everything we can to help those who are struggling.

May we be able to notice those who need help, have the strength and resources to assist those who reach out to us and always be on the giving end!

Friday, December 7, 2018

Parshas Mikeitz

When Yosef was taken out of jail, the Torah says "they rushed him from the dungeon." Why the rush? After spending 12 years in prison, would a few minutes have made a difference? We see that when the time came for his yeshuah, it had to happen at the moment Hashem decided, without any delay.

Hashem has a plan for us and everything has a perfect timing. We might feel frustrated when we have to wait for things we hope for, but we need to hold on to and trust in Hashem. Every single thing we go through is calculated and for our ultimate benefit.

May we be able to remember and internalize this, so we have the inner strength to overcome any darkness we feel!

Friday, November 30, 2018

Parshas Vayeishev

After the brothers sold Yosef to the mitzriyim, they dipped his coat into blood and told their father Yaakov that Yosef was killed by a wild animal. For the next 22 years, Yaakov mourned his son. He could not be consoled because his son was really alive all along.

We don't like to think about death while we are alive in this world because it makes us feel vulnerable and we have to take a good look at where we are holding in our life, our accomplishments and our spiritual level. But it's helpful to think about once in a while and to ask ourselves, "Are we maximizing our time while we're here?" 
"Are we developing our character or only spending time on things that are fleeting?"
"What will people remember about us once we're gone?" 

May we be zoche to live long,  happy and productive lives and utilize these questions to move higher and become better!

Friday, November 23, 2018

Parshas Vayishlach

After Yakov fought the Malach of Eisav, he asked him, "What is your name?" The response of the malach was, "Why are you asking for my name?"

This is the essence of the yetzer hara. He tries to disguise himself so we don't realize we are doing the wrong thing. Things become unclear when we are fighting the yetzer hara and don't realize it's him. Things like, "I'm saying this for to'eles" or "I'm going online for a good reason" (and end up wasting so much time) are ways the yetzer hara traps us. Any time we are tricked into thinking were doing something good but the loss outweighs the gain, we should realize it's time to back down.

May we be able to be vigilant, on guard and aware of these tricks so we can come out winning the battle against the Sar shel Eisav, the yetzer hara!

Friday, November 16, 2018

Parshas Vayeitzei

Vayeitzei
Rashi tells us that the reason the passuk says Yaakov left is because when a tzaddik leaves a place, it makes an impression. People feel a loss; they gained a lot from his presence and now that he is no longer there, it affects them.

We should think about our presence and how it affects others. Are we pleasant to be around? What happens when we leave-our homes, offices, schools or any place where we are surrounded by others? Do people silently think "good riddance" or do they feel like they gained something by spending time in our presence? Do we leave a lasting impression on those who we come in contact with? We can-by complimenting them, by listening in a real way and by creating lasting connections.

May we be able to interact with those around us in a meaningful way so that when we part, people feel the difference and want to emulate our actions!

Friday, November 9, 2018

Parshas Toldos

When Eisav came in from the field tired and hungry, he agreed to sell the bechorah in exchange for lentil soup. He gave up something eternal and got something fleeting instead.

When we are tired, hungry or stressed, we don't have the clarity to make good decisions. We might say or do things we will later regret. It takes a lot of work to be able to maintain an inner sense of calm but when we can do that, we will be in complete control of ourselves and our reactions. We will be able to respond to people with calm logic instead of reacting with emotional intensity. 

May we be able to pay attention to our inner selves and regulate our emotions in a healthy way so we can deal with all situations calmly and with clarity!

Friday, November 2, 2018

Parshas Chaya Sara

Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Yitzchok. Eliezer looked for one quality in the girl in question. She must be a baalas chessed, someone who notices what someone else needs and offers to go above and beyond-in this case by giving water to Eliezer and his camels.

We see that the most important part of a person is their character, their middos and the way they care for others. Not looks, not money, not talents-but what the person does with the gifts they were given. We should reflect on our own selves and make sure we are using whatever qualities we have to make a difference in the lives of others.

May we be able to appreciate the things that really matter in others and keep using our talents and gifts to help other people!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Shabbos-Never Forget

This poem was written by a friend, B.K. I'm posting it here with her permission. 

Shabbos
A time of peace
Quality time 
With family
Togetherness
Calmness
Was destroyed 
This week.

A time that was a celebration 
To bring forth
A new Jewish child
Ended in destruction. 

Bloody mass destruction.
Parents
Siblings
Children
Their lives
Were overturned
This shabbos.

This shabbos
Will go down
In Jewish history
We can’t forget
We must not forget
The people that were 
Taken from us.

What message
Are we supposed to take
What are we really
Supposed to be mourning
While crying in grief
For the families

If you heard about this,
God specifically wanted you
To hear.
There is a reason.
A change
An action
That you need to take.

Think about it.
Don’t think
About the questions
We cannot understand
Think about the reason
For why you were meant
To hear about this.

Change.
Do it now.
And don’t ever
Forget
About this shabbos.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Parshas Vayeira

Avraham Avinu invited three guests into his home, even though they didn't look like him and they were idol worshippers. His kindness extended to every type of person, no matter what they looked like on the outside.

Hachnosas Orchim sometimes transforms us into kinder, more sympathetic people. We treat strangers with more respect and tolerance than our own family. Perhaps this week, we can pretend our close family members are our guests and treat them with an extra level of care and consideration. We can be more giving, more patient and more understanding of those closest to us. Although it's easy to fall into the trap of habit and snap at the people who push our buttons, if we put in the effort to treat them with extra consideration, we can transform our relationships and make them stronger.

May we be able to act with forethought and respond to our close family members with a gentle touch, bringing more light and love into our homes!

Friday, October 19, 2018

Parshas Lech Lecha

Avram is childless and after marrying Hagar, she gives birth to Yishmael. He continues to wait for his wife Sarah to have a child and eventually (in next week's parsha), Yitzchok is born.

In life, we often have to wait for things. We don't reach the next stage at the same time as our friends and peers and it sometimes feels unfair. We need to remember that Hashem has a plan and we can't understand why He wants us to wait or why He isn't giving us exactly what we want at the time we want it. And we also need to keep believing in Him and hoping for our salvation to come...because it is in His hands and He can make it happen!

May we be able to keep our faith in Hashem strong, keep davening and hoping for the changes we wish for and merit to see and experience the good we are waiting for!

Friday, October 12, 2018

Parshas Noach

After Noach built the taivah, he and his family stayed on the top level, the animals on the middle level and the garbage was kept on the bottom. 

Practically, it made sense to set it up this way but the Torah is teaching us how important it is to be neat and organized. A clean house, where everything is in its place, has a more calm feeling. It is an important element to the shalom bayis of the home. When you structure your week around shabbos and know in advance what time candle lighting is, you can hopefully enter shabbos without stress. If this isn't your strong point, you can get tips and help from others who are more organized. Having things orderly lends to a positive atmosphere whereas messes brings on stresses! 

May we be able to have a calm and stress-free atmosphere in our homes by keeping things orderly and in their place!

Friday, October 5, 2018

Parshas Bereishis

The Torah discusses things that cast people in a negative light. It talks about the cheit of Adam and Chava in detail, the story of Kayin and Hevel and ends with Hashem deciding He wants to destroy the world. Why does the Torah write about all these bad things? Shouldn't it only tell us the good things people did? 

We see that all people make mistakes. Mistakes don't make us bad. They make us human. We need to learn from our experiences and do something different next time. Then, the mistake becomes something positive. 

We learn from Adam and Chava about overcoming temptation, from Kayin and Hevel to give the best when you're giving a gift and about the negative effects of jealousy. The aveiros the Torah talks about help us gain important lessons for life!

May we be able to pick ourselves up after we stumble and have the strength to do better next time we are faced with a challenge!

Friday, September 28, 2018

Succos-Koheles

As the wisest of all men, Shlomo Hamelech describes how he explored all the wisdom and experienced all possible pleasures. He built houses, planted vineyards and orchards, collected gold, silver and musical instruments. And he concludes that all of it is worthless and pursuing it leads to frustration.

So what is the purpose of life if chasing wisdom and pleasures leaves us feeling dissatisfied?

There are two things to focus on. The first is to rejoice-in our actions and in our lot in life. When we are satisfied with what we have and with what we are doing, we won't need to run after things that are meaningless. 

The second is to give to others. If we are intent on giving and sharing (anything-our money, a listening ear, advice, our time), we will look out for what others need and wont harp on what we don't have. This will keep us happy and content and fill our lives with meaning.

May we live our lives with joy and always be on the giving end so we can feel happy and fulfilled at all times!

Sunday, September 23, 2018

The Sukkah

After we confessed our sins and begged Hashem to be inscribed in the Book of Life, Hashem "wraps His arms around us" in a loving embrace. This is what the walls of the sukkah represent. 

We leave our homes and enter the sukkah, expressing our total dependence on Hashem. We live in this simple hut, showing that materialism is not the most important thing. Our focus should be on the eternal-on our relationship with Hashem and doing things that have lasting value. 

May we be able to stay calm and keep the atmosphere in the sukkah peaceful by remembering that we are in Hashem's embrace and His shechina is right here with us! 

Friday, September 21, 2018

Parshas Ha'azinu

The Torah tells us, "Hatzur tamim pa'alo"- Hashem's actions are perfect and whole. But "banav mumam"- His children are blemished.

When we see or experience people acting wrongly, we should not question Hashem. He is perfect and everything He does is for the good. It's us people who are imperfect and have to fix ourselves. Hashem gives us free will to act in ways that we desire. If we would only act positively, we wouldn't have free will. It's the fact that we can act wrongly that allows us to choose between good and evil. Our negative actions are not a reflection of Hashem's middos, they're a reflection of our own!

May we be able to make good choices and make a kiddush Hashem wherever we go so that we impact people positively and elevate our souls to higher levels of giving and kindness!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Erev Yom Kippur


It's Erev Yom Kippur. 

We spend the day preparing, eating and asking people we may have wronged for forgiveness. It's a time for introspection. We make commitments to change for the better and ask Hashem to help us keep to our resolutions.

We look back at the past year and see how much has changed in our lives. Some things fill our hearts with gratitude and other things fill our hearts with questions. But we know all of it is for the good. We wish each other a "gmar chasima tova"-but if everything Hashem does is for the good, why do we need to give each other this blessing?

Although we try to instill the belief into our hearts that everything Hashem does is for our ultimate benefit, our desire is for all that happens in the coming year to be noticeable good in the moment. Not that we should have to wait days, weeks, months or a lifetime to be able to see why what we went through was good for us in the end.

May we be able to utilize the day of YK to achieve true kapparah, cleanse ourselves of our aveiros and be written and sealed in the Sefer Hachayim with immediate, recognizable good in all aspects of our lives!

Have a meaningful Yom Kippur!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Parshas Vayeilech

Moshe Rabbeinu talks to BY before he dies. He repeats, Stay strong and don't be afraid because Hashem will fight against your enemies for you.

In life, we all have battles that we are trying to fight. The way to stay strong and not be afraid is to strengthen our faith in Hashem. We must realize that He is at our side and will help us fight each of those battles. We should daven that we feel His presence and that Hashem gives us the ability to keep pushing, to keep trying and to ultimately succeed. 

May we be able to tap into our inner strength and feel Hashem helping us fight all our battles-spiritual, emotions and physical ones and come out at the top!

Friday, September 7, 2018

Parshas Nitzavim

Moshe tells Bnei Yisroel - you have a choice between life and good and death and bad. He says, choose life!
The way to choose life is by making choices that connect us to the source of life, Hashem.

Now, before Rosh Hashanah, we should ask ourselves, are we doing things that bring us closer to Hashem or are we distancing ourselves from Him? Are we using the gifts He gave us-our eyes, ears, mouth, hands and feet to connect to Hashem in a real way?

Do we try to see Hashem in our daily life?
Are we receptive to inspiration?
Do we speak calmly and kindly to others?
Can we use our hands to do chessed thereby making a kiddush Hashem?
Have we walked away from arguments and negativity?

It's the last shabbos of the year. We have a chance to fix everything we've corrupted over this past year. Let's make a commitment to use our body to connect to Hashem, the source of life. 

May we be able to elevate every fiber of our being to connect to Hashem, the source of life and this way, well merit to be written down for a year of life, connection and meaning!

Friday, August 31, 2018

Parshas Ki Savo

The blessings that will come upon Bnei Yisroel if we keep the Torah and the curses Hashem will send if we don't are described in detail. The curses will befall us, "tachas asher lo avadita..." because we didn't serve Hashem with joy. Another meaning for tachas is below or under. 

This can be interpreted as, if we see someone who isn't doing mitzvos with joy, don't rush to judge them. Look beneath the surface. Try to understand why. There's a reason why the enthusiasm for Torah and mitzvos is missing. And when we realize that, we can approach them with love and acceptance...and help them see the beauty and joy in serving Hashem. 

May we be able to do the mitzvos with happiness and help fill in the gaps for those who are missing an appreciation for yiddishkeit!

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Shmuly the Spring-A Story

Someone sent me this very inspiring, poignant and emotionally touching story and I want to share it with you. Although it is very long, it is worth the read.

Hi. My name is Shmuel, and I am 28 years old. 

Most of the people who know me simply call me “Shmuly.”

I am not used to telling stories. I’m the kind of guy who does better with action. That is why it took me some time to put together all the parts of my personal story and write it down so that I can share it with you.

My story began about eighteen years ago.
I was ten years old, a pretty regular kid, just like everyone else…except in one area. 
I had a really hard time sitting in one place for a prolonged period of time.

And when I say “time,” I don’t mean what you probably think. My concept of time is different than most people’s. “Too much time,” for me, means a few seconds.

Yeah, I’m a “spring,” if you will. 

If this would be today, I would surely get a diagnosis comprised of a string of initials (along with a pill or two), but in those days there weren’t that many interpretations, so the nickname given to me was short and friendly, “Shmuly the Spring.” 

Honestly, I didn’t mind. I knew that it was true, and I could actually relate to the imagery.

Baruch Hashem, I had no complaints. I had incredible rabbeim who didn’t make a big issue out of my hyperactivity. 

Everyone in my class was already used to the fact that Shmuly the Spring is the one who is sent to bring the rebbe coffee in middle of class, and other such jobs, basically keeping me busy. And truthfully, I liked the arrangement, too. 

I would sit in front of the rebbe and try hard to listen and understand what he was teaching. Then, when I couldn’t focus anymore (usually after a few minutes), I would look for something to do. At that point I would hear the rebbe’s voice calling to me, “Shmuly, please get us some more chalk.” I would happily get up and run to perform the chore.

That was basically what my life in school was like. 

One morning, as we waited for our rebbe to enter the classroom, the principal walked in instead. He stood behind the rebbe’s desk and asked for silence.

“I’m sorry to share this with you,” he said, “but your rebbe has suddenly fallen ill and had to undergo emergency surgery last night. He will not be coming back for the next few weeks.”

We were in shock. We loved our rebbe and were really worried about him.

The principal continued, “Now, boys, let’s say some Tehillim for his recovery.” We said some Tehillim with extra kavanah for our rebbe’s speedy recovery.

That day, the principal taught us, but the following day he walked into our classroom with a man we didn’t know. 

“Boys,” the principal said, “this is Rabbi Substitute. He is going to be your substitute rebbe until your regular rebbe gets better, be’ezras Hashem.”

Rabbi Substitute walked over to the rebbe’s desk, and the principal left the classroom.
I’m not sure what made me immediately realize that my life was not going to be easy with Rabbi Substitute. Maybe it was the stern look on his face, or the hoarse voice with which he addressed us, but something told me there was going to be trouble soon.
I was right. It was only a few minutes later when I sensed a heavy shadow over me. I looked up and found Rabbi Substitute staring angrily down at me through his somewhat-dirty glasses.

“What are you busy with over there?” he thundered. 

I dropped the beautiful paper airplane I had just completed. The stunning plane did not have a chance inside Rabbi Substitute’s clutched fist, and I felt my heart tearing inside me along with it. 

I found myself standing shamefacedly in the principal’s office.

After recess was over, I returned to the classroom. But this scenario repeated itself over and over again in different variations.
After a few days of mounting frustration on all sides, my parents were called to the school. “In my class, all students must learn,” Rabbi Substitute told them firmly. “What do you think he’s going to grow up to be like if he doesn’t use his brain?” He refused to allow me to perform the various tasks that had been my lifeline until then. 

Every day, I would be punished and sent out of the classroom in humiliation. I began to feel disappointed and disgusted with myself. I always knew that I was not exactly a typical child, I knew that I was better with my hands than with my head, but I always managed somehow, thanks the energy that Hashem endowed me with and the fact that I loved to help people.

For Rabbi Substitute, however, these qualities meant nothing.

One day, Rabbi Substitute decided to call an emergency meeting to discuss my problems. My parents and I were both called in for a long, painful lecture. I remember my father trying to say something like, “Our Shmuly has other qualities… Maybe his head is less at work but he has amazing hands…”, but Rabbi Substitute didn’t allow my father to say a word.

And here, I remember how Rabbi Substitute’s face reddened. He pointed a finger at me and shouted, “If you don’t start using your head, you’ll amount to nothing! Nothing!”

Then he added under his breath, “Good hands will make you a good plumber, nothing more.”

The days passed, somehow, and finally, finally, our regular rebbe recovered and returned to the classroom. I never saw Rabbi Substitute again.

With time, I even managed to forget his hurtful words. Most of the time. 

Sometimes, unexpectedly, I would hear his words playing in my head and shrink into myself with humiliation. When that happened, I would feel like an absolute nothing.

Is that all I could ever hope to amount to? A plumber? Could I really do nothing more? Was I truly worth nothing?!

I admit, though, that this did not happen often. Most of the time, I was busy performing the countless chores and tasks that my rabbeim came up with to keep me busy and confident. 

I grew up, finished cheder, and then yeshivah ketanah. I was accepted to a good yeshivah gedolah thanks to my many other talents. So maybe I was not the brightest boy in the class, but I had other things going for me. The many small jobs I did in yeshivah helped me tremendously. The yeshivah and summer camps were where I felt proud and happy.

When I started shidduchim, I knew more or less what kind of girl I wanted to marry. A short while later, I met my wife who wanted me just as I was.

We got married, and I began my married life in kollel. Of course, at the same time, I was searching for some action to fill up my day too; something that would keep me busy and allow me to feel good about myself. 

I found that in Israel’s medical emergency response team, a job that saves me from myself. I do many shifts, am always first at the scene and the last to leave it. 

Some people might make a face hearing that, but I love the drama and the action, and – more than anything else – the tremendous chessed that I can perform for people in the most critical moments of their lives. 

Slowly, I started climbing up the ranks. I did further training. At some point, MADA became my second home.

One night, I woke up to the sound of the dispatcher calling all nearby volunteers to rush to an emergency nearby. Apparently, someone had lost consciousness and needed help. 

The address was nowhere nearby, but for some reason I decided to rush to the scene anyway. I figured that there were not many volunteers in that area, and the late hour would make it even less likely that someone could get there quickly. MADA’s headquarters were also too far from the scene. 

I jumped into my car and quickly drove over to the address the dispatcher had announced. As soon as I arrived, I realized that I had indeed arrived first. I grabbed my first-aid kit and rushed up the stairs. The panicked voices and the light coming from the apartment led me directly to an elderly man lying on the living room floor. A woman stood next to him – his wife, I presumed – crying hysterically. 
I quickly began checking his vitals and performing CPR. Things were not looking good…

No pulse. No breathing. 

As I worked, a Hatzalah volunteer arrived at the scene and began working alongside me. 

“No pulse or breathing,” I reported to the station. “Send MICU urgently.” The Hatzalah volunteer and I continued working furiously. This guy doesn’t have much of a chance, I thought. Who knows how long he’s been lying like this, in this condition.
But I’m used to leaving my thoughts for my own pillow… for when I try to fall asleep at night. Right now, I had to focus on what I needed to do – and do it. 

The ambulance arrived and with it, more advanced equipment. The full team and I continued to do our best, but…nothing. The guy wouldn’t wake up. 

The team gave up, but I refused to. I continued to put in every bit of strength I could muster, without thinking. 

Yair, a fellow paramedic, placed his hand on my shoulder. His eyes were telling me, Forget it, this is a lost cause.

But I kept going. 

The other guys knew me already. They weren’t going to try explaining to me for the umpteenth time that I was too naïve.
I pushed. I pushed again.

And then suddenly I felt something change.
I checked carefully and began screaming like a madman, “There’s a pulse! There’s a pulse!”

The paramedics looked at the patient and immediately realized that I was right. They all began working feverishly again. 

Somehow, they managed to stabilize him and rushed him to the nearest hospital together with his tearful wife.

Honestly, I was very emotional as I watched them go. I’ve been in this field for years, but it is still rare to succeed in performing a successful resuscitation -  especially in such a case, where the man had been lying unconscious for so long.

I gathered my things and headed back home.

A month passed, and I nearly forgot the incident. One morning, my phone rang. 

“Hi, is this Shmuly, from MADA?”

“Yes, who am I speaking with?”

The young man on the other end of the line told me that he was this elderly man’s grandson. My thoughts went back to that fateful night, and I asked him with some hesitation, “How is he?” I wasn’t sure what I was going to hear. I knew that not many people survive after being deprived of oxygen for so long, and even those who do survive are generally badly crippled as a result. 

“You have no idea,” the grandson told me with obvious emotion. “You gave us our grandfather back!”

I was so moved that I could hardly get any words out of my mouth. 

The young man told me that they had been searching all week long for the phone number of the “angel who saved their grandfather” – that was how he described me. He told me that his grandfather had been discharged and is completely back to his usual self. “We would love to have you join us at the seudas hodaya that we are making in honor of this miracle!”

I could not refuse. I still remembered the address, so I just asked him for the date and time. 

On the day of the seudah, I came to the house again. The apartment was filled with family members and tables laden with cakes and candy. 

They all welcomed me with hugs and joyful greetings. I have never met these people before, but it seemed that to them I was like family. I was given a seat at the head of the table, next to a dignified-looking man with a white beard.

His face looked familiar…but now I was seeing his face with a healthy coloring.

When he saw me, he stood up and enveloped me in a warm hug. I felt his tears wetting my shoulder, and then my own tears coursing down my cheeks.

He murmured words of thanks, and it was obvious that he was very, very emotional. 
I myself was feeling my own storm of emotions – and not only because of the opportunity I had been given to save another man’s life. 

With shocking clarity, I suddenly realized that this man who was now looking at me with such gratitude-filled eyes was none other than my childhood teacher, Rabbi Substitute. It must have been his voice that made all the memories surface, but I had no doubt about it. I gently asked him about his life and where he was from. Yes, it was him…

He did not seem to recognize me, but that was understandable. Unlike him, my own appearance had changed drastically since I was ten years old… 

I was difficult for me to contain myself. I felt an unexplainable urge to tell him who I was.

I asked one of his sons, who was sitting next to me, to allow me to speak to his father privately. He looked at me in surprise, but apparently, my status as the “savior” helped ward off questions. He stood up and whispered into his father’s ear. 

I saw Rabbi Substitute’s eyes looking at me, and then his head nodding in agreement.
We were led to a side room. After we both settled on the day bed in the room and the door closed behind us, I burst into uncontrollable tears.

I had planned to talk to him, but the wave of emotions was stronger than me. I myself had not realized, until that moment, just how deeply he had hurt me. 

I felt his hands on my head, and then heard his soothing words trying to calm me. He obviously could not understand what was happening to me.

After I calmed down somewhat, I raised red-rimmed eyes and began to tell him who I was. It took a few moments for him to recall. “You’re Shmuly?” he pointed a shaking finger at me. I saw understanding dawn, and his face suddenly became very white. 

I felt a pang of panic. I had already seen his face looking like that. Slowly, however, his color returned. And then it was his turn to cry.

We did not exchange more than a few words, but to me it seemed like we had spent hours in deep conversation. 
We simply didn’t need any words. The tears said everything. The deep hurt…the frustration and the pain…the insidious effect of his behavior toward me in the classroom… and also, his regret, his remorse…

He hugged me again, and I returned the hug, feeling forgiveness wash over me. A huge rock was lifted from my chest.

“And I told you that you’ll amount to nothing,” he whispered, his voice filled with indescribable regret.

He asked for my forgiveness again and again, and I told him I was fully mochel. 

We walked back into the living room, both of us with red-rimmed eyes and blotchy faces. People looked at us in bewilderment. 
When Rabbi Substitute reached his seat, he motioned for me to sit on the adjacent chair, but he himself remained standing. He told everyone that he wanted to say a few words. Within seconds, everyone fell silent. It was clear that they all wanted to know what had happened.

Rabbi Substitute first began by praising me for saving his life. He especially emphasized the illogical efforts I had put in despite the fact that realistically, there was no longer any hope. He focused on the main point, in his opinion, which was that I worked against all odds and used my heart, not my head. 

Then he told everyone who I was and where we had first met. 

He told them everything. He repeated the words he had used then, at the fateful meeting with my parents, and the things he said about me in front of the entire class. At this point, people were crying unabashedly. In a broken voice he turned to me and asked for my forgiveness again. 

I could not speak. I only nodded my consent, my own throat choked with tears. 

Then, Rabbi Substitute ended in a heartfelt statement. “Twenty years ago, I told you that you do not use your head. Yet what saved me now was precisely the fact that you did not follow your head – but your heart. Years ago, I thought you had a problem and were not thinking enough. Now I know that what you have is actually a huge heart.”

He hugged me again, and I returned the hug.

That is my story. 

It was not easy for me to write it all. You must have realized by now that I am not the sort of person who can easily sit and write things down. But I did it anyway, because I want you to always remember:

There are some kids who have a great head.

There are kids who have a great heart.

And they are all Hashem’s children.

Friday, August 24, 2018

Parshas Ki Seitzei

We are not allowed to plant a mixture of seeds, plow with two different animals together or wear clothing made of wool and linen combined. According to the Torah law, every seed, animal and material has it's specific place and we are not authorized to mix them however we desire. 

The Torah is showing that not everything can be mixed together. We should think about who we mingle with and how it affects us. What kind of influences do we allow into our homes and our hearts by what we read, watch and listen to? Are we mixing with the secular world in a way that isn't good for our souls? Maybe certain things are supposed to be kept separate because that will keep us more pure and whole.

May we be able to keep that which should be kept separate from mixing into our lives, enabling us to retain our holiness and purity!

Friday, August 17, 2018

Parshas Shoftim

If someone kills someone unintentionally, it is taken very seriously. They have to run to a city of refuge and stay there so they will not be killed. 

We see that we are held accountable for all our actions, even things we did unintentionally. "I didn't realize" is not a good enough excuse. We have to take extra steps to be super careful not to hurt people by being thoughtless. We should work on ourselves to be more considerate and sensitive to people, especially those who are in a vulnerable position and can be easily hurt. 

May we be able to tune in to other people's feelings and notice what touches them so we can treat them with care and compassion!

Sunday, August 12, 2018

A Headache

A headache
Pounding
Deep
Heavy
Penetrating
Made me
Incapacitated
Sent me
To bed
My poor head!
Closed my eyes
Looked inside
To what's inside
That head of mine
Thoughts
Not always good
Maybe I should
Be less
Judgemental?
Be more
Positive?
Look at things
At people
With a favorable
Eye
With a giving eye
Instead of begrudging
Instead of
Judging
My eyesight
Has been
So superficial
So skin-deep
Am I not one to know
That there's so much more
Beyond
The external?
Can I allow judgement to pass?
Can I clear
My head
And heart
And start
To look
With positivity?

Can I look
At God
Without judging
Every move
Every story
Every headline
With questions
With accusations
More limitations
In my belief
Can I just believe
That He knows
What He is doing
And that my small brain
Cannot comprehend
His big plan?


No.
I cannot.
I cannot accept
All the stories
All the headlines
All the pain.
Because that would mean
It wouldn't hurt
I would stop
Praying
Asking
For it to stop
Because I'd accept
His plan
And as long as
I'm alive
I cannot
Accept
The pain
The hardships
The difficulties
The challenges
Of life.
I will keep asking
I will keep questioning
I will keep judging you,
God.
Because as long as
I see pain
As long as
I see suffering
I can not
Accept it.
So my head can hurt
It can throb
Pound
Ache
Shake
And still
I will not stop
Pounding down the doors
Pounding at your throne
Asking you
To change
To stop
The pain
To end
The suffering
And bring the day
When you will do away
With the aches
And pains
Of heads
And hearts
And families
Will be
Whole
Once more.

Friday, August 10, 2018

Parshas Re'ay

After working for 6 years, a Jewish slave must be freed and given generous gifts when he leaves. The Torah says, remember that you were once slaves in mitzrayim. You know what it feels like to be strangers in an unknown land. 

We see that we should use our past experiences to sympathize with other people in similar situations and help them when they are going through their own challenges. We can think about what things were helpful for us when we were in a similar boat and do the same if that would be beneficial for them too.

May we be able to ease the pain of others by utilizing our past experiences to be helpful to them, always with the right dose of insight and intuition!

Friday, August 3, 2018

Parshas Eikev

Moshe Rabbeinu tells BY that after they enter EY they will become wealthy, but they should never forget Who provided them with all this bounty and riches. 

Each of us is blessed with so much good. It's so easy to lose sight of where it is coming from. Whether it comes in the form of money, talents, looks or personality, we need to remind ourselves Who gave us these blessings. A beautiful voice, a creative mind, charisma and a sense of humor are all gifts from Hashem. We should thank Him for that gift and use it to influence the people around us for the good.

May we be able to have the self-awareness to notice our positive qualities, give Hashem credit for it and use those gifts to benefit other people!

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Shalom-A New Poem

How could it be that 13 years have passed?

How could it be it's been so long since I saw u last?

Your memory lives on, you're always on my mind,

I think about what made you special and your good qualities all the time.

How sweet and caring and simply good you were as a brother,

How much I learned from your short life, a life like no other.

You utilized your time, filling your days with good deeds,

Sharing your good heart with others and planting deep rooted seeds.

You taught me to take note of the simple things,

Being aware of people's preferences and the happiness it brings,

Like when you overheard a boy in camp asking for staples for his staple gun,

You called me on the phone and asked me to send you some,

You gave them to this boy who expressed his surprise and delight,

You found a way to get them for him even though he never asked you for them outright!

Or the time when Baila left a book at home and had gone out to babysit, 

You warmed up her favorite potato knish and eagerly went to deliver it,

You knew it would mean so much more and so you took an extra step,

And these are the things that each of us will never ever forget.

It's these little things you did that were such a big deal,

They showed who you were inside, someone who cared for real.

Because in life it's not the big flashy things, it's the things you tend to hide,

The small everyday actions show who you really are inside.

And inside you were a shining soul, a neshama filled with light, a special glow,

Yearning and learning until your last moments in our midst, you only wanted to grow.

You knew what was important and you shared it with your friends,

Dancing with such joy the night before your petira, you were so happy and content.

We discovered this when we developed the film from the camera that fell along with you,

We saw you in your pajamas, payos down and a na nach yarmulka, you looked so happy and cute!

The simcha on your face was visible and you shared it with everyone you knew,

And now our job is to pass that on, to be joyous in our own lives too.

There's so much more to say, so much more to write,

As we reach another year, another yartzeit.

As much as we remember, the pain comes back because we miss you so,

And now our job is to use this pain as a way to grow,

In our closeness to Hashem and our connection to our family,

Shalom, you showed us that what matters most are the things we cannot ever see.

The way we use our time and try to fill our days with meaningful acts,

Utilizing every moment here because we never know which day will be our last.

We learned so much from your life and from your death even more,

We know we will stay strong until Hashem is ready to open the door,

To a new reality, a time of geula and redemption,

When the world will reach its purpose and achieve completion.

We don't know when and what will be, but we know it will be good,

Until then we try and pray (and cry) and do the best we could.

While you're up there in a place of clarity and peace I have just one request,

Please daven and ask Hashem to keep me strong and help me pass life's tests.

I miss you more than words can express, of course you know that's true,

I never said it enough so now I will...Shalom, I love you.

Friday, July 27, 2018

Parshas Va'eschanan

We are told that we may not add on to or take away from any of the commandments in the Torah. The Torah is perfect and was given to us by a perfect God with specific instructions on how to live the most fulfilling life.

If we add on to one of the mitzvos, it might become too heavy and burdensome and we'll drop the whole thing. Doing less than what we were commanded to do makes us lose out on the perfect prescription for a meaningful life.

May we be able to enjoy the benefits of following the mitzvos and feel the deep satisfaction that comes along with living a Torah life!

It's Shabbos Nachamu-which means "let us comfort." We have an obligation to offer chizuk to others when they are down. When we comfort someone else, it also soothes our soul and makes us feel better.

May we live to see the day of ultimate comfort, of the geula shelaima...so soon!

Friday, July 20, 2018

Parshas Devarim

Moshe Rabbeinu began giving mussar to BY before he died. He spoke to them about the mistakes of their parents, even though they weren't the nation that actually committed those sins. 

We see that we have a responsibility to look back at the past and learn from the mistakes of those who came before us. If we know someone tried something in the past and it didn't work, we should come up with a new plan so we can succeed. We can't expect to try the same thing and see different results. In order for change to happen, we need to look at the past, learn from mistakes others made and be committed to trying new ideas.

May we be able to have an open mind and heart and succeed at making changes in ourselves and in situations around us!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Parshas Matos-Masei

The Torah describes the boundaries in Eretz Yisroel and how the land was divided among the shevatim. 

It is so important to have boundaries and limits. Rules keep us safe. If everything was allowed, nothing would stop us from entering dangerous territory and we would get hurt-on a physical and spiritual level. 

May you be able to stick to the boundaries you set for yourself, respect the boundaries of others and stay safe and happy!

Friday, July 6, 2018

Parshas Pinchas

Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu to climb to the top of Har Ha'avarim so he could see Eretz Yisroel before he died. His tefillah to go into EY had not been answered positively, but he did get to see the land.

In life, we daven for many things. Sometimes we see answers clearly, and things turn out exactly the way we were hoping for. Other times, it's less clear. We need to remember that Hashem hears every tefillah and listens to every cry for help. No matter what the result of our tefillah seems to be, Hashem treasures every one and at times saves that tefillah for a later date when we will need those zechusim.

May we be able to turn to Hashem whenever we need Him and stay strong in our emunah that every tefillah has a purpose and is valuable!

Sunday, July 1, 2018

A Small Meal

Today is Yud Zayin Tammuz, the day we fast to show we are mourning the beginning of the end - the end of the time of clarity and closeness to Hashem through the Bais Hamikdosh.

Imagine your father bought you a house, provided you with everything you needed to keep that house beautiful and also gave you money to buy yourself food and clothing whenever you needed. Now imagine if at the same time, your father was homeless, sleeping on the park bench every night. Would you be able to enjoy the house he so generously gave you, along with all the things he provided you with?

Wouldn't you try to invite him into your home? What if he said he didn't want to come live with you because your home wasn't good enough for him? Wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make your house a place where he would be comfortable moving in?

Hashem gave each of us a place to live us and also blessed us with so much bounty, so much beauty, so much excess... But He is has nowhere to live.

He is homeless.

We need to reflect upon the fact that if He doesn't feel comfortable living with us, we must fix that.

We need to think, what changes can we make to ensure that our homes, our world, can become a place where His shechina will want to reside?

R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l talks about making a "seuda ketana" with Hashem.

What is this small meal?

When someone makes a big meal, like a wedding, they invite many people and serve lots of varieties of food. The reason for this is that everybody has different tastes and he wants to make sure all his guests will be satisfied.

But when a small meal is prepared, for example a seuda for just a chosson and kallah, the food served is different. Before the meal, we check with both the chosson and kallah to see what they like. If the chosson likes something but the kallah does not like it, we do not serve that dish. We only serve foods that both the chosson and kallah enjoy eating.

This, says R' Pincus zt"l, is what we should do with Hashem. We should say, "Hashem, I want to eat a meal with you. I like The New York Times. Hashem, do you like it?"

No, Hashem does not like the New York Times.

"Then I can't have that in my home."

And this is how we can go through the things we bring into our homes, the things we do in our free time and the things we busy ourselves with.

We have to look at what we do, what we buy and what we allow into our homes and ask, Hashem, do you like it? Because I can only have it if you like it. I want you to sit with me Hashem. I want you to feel welcome in my house. I want you to want to spend time in my presence.

By making a seuda ketana with Hashem, we can reflect upon the things we do and the influences we allow into our homes. We will notice what changes we need to make to ensure that Hashem's shechina will want to reside amongst us. And that way, we will show Hashem that we are setting up our homes for Him to stay!

If Hashem once again feels comfortable living among us, He can bring us all back to His home and He will no longer be homeless. We will be able to live with the clarity and closeness to Him we so desperately need. And we will be able to say, "I know that I did what it took to welcome Hashem back home. I made the changes I needed to make Him want to make the changes we were all hoping for!"

May we merit to celebrate the rebuilding of the bais hamikdosh instead of mourning its destruction!

Have a meaningful and introspective fast.