Parsha-Shema

This past week, we read Parshas Va'eschanan. The foundation of our belief in Hashem, the Shema, is written in the parsha. We cover our eyes when we say this phrase, reciting it in the morning and in the evening, and even before we go to sleep at night.

Why do we cover our eyes? We are expressing that we believe in the oneness of Hashem and that everything He does is for our best. Whether we are experiencing the highs of life, the clarity and openness of Hashem's involvement in our lives, or we are going through challenges and things are dark, we remain strong in our trust in Him. We believe that He orchestrates every single thing we go through - the happy times, the difficult ones, they all come from Him.

And we cover our eyes to express that even when we can't see how it's good, we believe there is an ultimate benefit to be gained from every single thing we go through. 

The morning represents the good times. 

The evening represents the tough times. 

And even before we retire for the night, every Jew proclaims this truth: As my day comes to an end and I reflect on my experiences, there are some things I'm grateful for and some things I'm confused about. I will never be able to understand everything going on in my life. But I believe that you Hashem, you know what I need in order to accomplish my mission. Please help me continue to believe in you, no matter what I go through. 

May we continue to strengthen our trust in Hashem at all times!

It's All One

A long week it's been
With news so insane
First horror
Then pain
And prayers
For those who remain
The tears flow
We beg and plead
Do another good deed
Say more tehillim
Cry more tears
And then...
After eight years
A new piece
Of news
He's been released!
A free man
Rubashkin is allowed
Out
Crowds
Of people
Go out
To greet him
People dance freely
Singing songs of hope
Singing songs of unity
What a community
So much love
To the One Above
For making this happen
At precisely this moment
But deep inside
Our hearts
There's still a big hole
A gaping hole
A broken heart
Because
A family
Just shattered
Ripped apart
Torn to threads
From their beds
Peaceful sleep
Interrupted
Now they've been corrupted
No more peace
Just pain
No more calm
No way
In one day
Or just a night
Everything changed
This family's plight
Is at the mercy
Of the One Above
Is this mercy?
Is this love?
How can it be
That something so terrible
Also is an expression
Of love
And mercy?
We learn it
We know it
We teach it
We preach it
Does this show it?
Is this love?
To tear apart a family?
To destroy a home?
To pull lives away?
We know in our heads
That it's coming from you
We know in our minds
That it's all from you
We know everything
You do is good
We know it all
But...should
We not question?
We have questions
This makes no sense
In our heads
And our hearts
How can this be
Good?
We say in shema
That everything you do
Whether it looks harsh like din
Or seems like a reflection
Or your mercy
Hashem elokeinu
Both aspects of your
Character
Of your actions
Hashem
The good,
The kind
The merciful
The One Who finally redeemed
Released
Sholom Mordechai
Rubashkin
That is a sign
Of your mercy
So divine
Yet, you are also
Elokeinu
Strict and punishing
Full of judgement
You caused
A family
A home
To go up
In flames
And now
Only a few
Still remain
In this earth
Left here to struggle
For the rest of
Their lifetime
They'll struggle to move on
To face the world
To deal with whatever remains
This is judgement
This is your strict, harsh side
But we are taught
Hashem echod
It's all ONE
All of this
The good
The bad
The compassion
And the judgement
All really come from
Your compassion
Even the things
That seem like
A reflection
Of your judgement
Things like a fire
That consume a family
That consume a nation
Along with the clear
Open celebration
When we know
And we see
Perfectly
That it's Your Hand
That it's Your Compassion
Making this happen
Both those things
Come from Your Goodness
It's all part of
The greater good
Which we cannot see
And we can't understand
While we live down here
In this polluted, unclear land
We will continue to pray
We will continue to cry
We will cry, "ad masai"
For we don't understand
We want to get out
Of this polluted, unclear land
We will hope for change
We will hope for refuos
And continued miracles
For a family that's relying
On us
On our tefillos
On our kabalos
So they can be mekabel
The ones they lost
So we can all be mekabel
One day we will all greet
The ones we hope to meet
The ones who have a seat
At our tables
In our hearts
Even though we're far apart
We pray
For the day
When we will all say
This is what we were
Waiting for
Hoping for
Dreaming of
Wishing for
Praying for
And until then
Hashem
Please infuse us
With strength
With the ability
To keep going
To keep moving
To keep praying
To keep hoping
And to keep believing
In you.

Sadness and Simcha?

Q: I just read that Rebbetzen Kanievsky was nifteres. I'm sure you can relate to that pang of "WHAT! But we need her now!" and just the sadness of it all. I know that I shouldn't be sad about it - especially on Chol Hamoed! What is the appropriate response to tragedy in a time of simcha? I have dealt with a close tragedy on Shabbos and dealt with it pretty well but this is just so different...its the Gadol Hador's daughter, husband...this is MAJOR.

A: I am going to try to answer you because you asked me even though I do not feel qualified to be the one to give you a final answer on the proper emotions one is supposed to feel at this time.

Of course I can relate to the shock and the painful feelings...as someone who met Rebbetzin Kanievsky a few times and spoke to her personally, I felt it very strongly when I heard the news. I cried. A lot. It hurt.

We need her now. How can this be? So soon after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. We just lost some really great people this past year. Another one? How will our nation get through this? We need her. We need her zechusim. We need her brachos. We need her tefillos. We need her power.

So many people went to her for brachos. Hashem, look down and see how many of those brachos came true...and how many of them are still waiting to be fulfilled. Please, make them happen!!

She gave so many people her very best wishes and told them to do such and such as a zechus...which they did...but they are still waiting. Hashem, bring those yeshuos already!

I got a bracha from her a while back...she told me to take something specific upon myself-which I did. It was something that was not easy. At all. But I did it. And...the yeshuah came. And I didn't stop doing it...until it just wasn't practical anymore because of what was going on in my life...and I'm sure it was okay.

One of the times I davened mincha in the shul in Bnei Brak where she davens, while I was in middle of shemona esrei, I suddenly felt a feeling of holiness right next to me. It was a feeling that could almost be touched. I looked to the left of me and realized...Rebbetzin Kanievsky was standing and davening right next to me! Apparently, that day people weren't sure if she would be coming at all because she wasn't feeling well. The davening started even though she wasn't there yet. She came a few minutes late, while the shul was in middle of shemona esrei. And she chose to stand right near me. I cannot describe the feeling. Within two seconds, my tefillah was transformed. If I was spacing out or lost my concentration before, by now it was intense and I was concentrating on every word. The holiest person was standing right near me! How could I look out of my siddur or let my mind wander?!

After davening was over, everyone came over to her for a personal bracha and she waited patiently and answered each one...with a smile, with love and care...and with sincerity. To some she told to do one thing as a zechus, to others she just gave a bracha, and to others she said to take something else upon themselves...like she knew what people need to work on.

There are not enough words for me to properly speak about her greatness, her holiness, her purity, her tefillah...but our loss is tremendous.

How should we feel at this time?

It's a mitzvah to be happy on yom tov. But...we lost such a great and holy person!

I don't know. I can't say for sure. What I do know is that when someone passes away on yom tov and their levaya (funeral) is on chol hamoed, there are no hespeidim, just tehillim and kaddish.
That means that we are meant to minimize the amount of sadness we feel...but how can we not feel sad when such a great person passed away? It was a huge loss for our nation!

During the week that my family sat shiva for my brother Shalom a"h, our first cousin got married. It was a wedding we were all very excited for but...we missed it. A friend came to speak to us and told us the following thought.

When we say Shema, we use two expressions of Hashem's name. We say, Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echod which is saying, Listen Klal Yisroel, Hashem (which is an expression of middas harachamim-mercy) Elokeinu (which expresses middas hadin-judgement), Hashem Echod-it's all One! There are times when we feel the mercy of Hashem, the happy, joyous times and there are times when we feel His strict judgement. But we must remember-Hashem Echod. They are both coming from the same Hashem.

It's a time to strengthen our emunah when we feel weak. We must remember that all the things that happen, the good and the seemingly bad, all come from the same One Hashem.
We don't understand.
We want to cry.
We want her back.
We need her zechusim.
But we must remember that we are now in a time of simcha-v'samachta b'chagecha is a real mitzvah. We need to try to be happy despite the pain and feelings of loss.

We don't have to worry about her. She is happy. She is in the best and highest place.
We are the ones who are lost. We are the ones who need to strive higher to become better, holier people.

It's the yom tov of simcha. We are about to celebrate the greatest happiness that there is-the joy of Simchas Torah. It's a time when we (watch the men :) ) dance around the Torah and jump for joy as they sing the tunes we all know and love...ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu - how lucky we are, how good is our portion! We are blessed with the greatest gift ever-the gift of the Torah. Through the Torah we have learned how to live the most awesome, happiest and fulfilling life there is.

Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h lived a life of holiness and purity. Think of her beautiful face next time you are tempted to do something you shouldn't. Her kedushah is way beyond me but...if I think of her more throughout my day it will definitely make a difference.

May you each be able to take a personal message from her passing and try to live your life in a way that is more spiritually elevated.

I may not have fully answered your question so please let me know if there's more you need to hear.

When Saying Shema

I posted this once before but I think it's something we can all use a reminder for since we say Shema every day.

Here's a really good answer to a question asked to R' Avigdor Miller zt"l.

If you would like to get more emails like these, they are sent out once a week. You can subscribe by clicking on this link.

QUESTION:

When saying S'hma Yisroel, what should you think about?

ANSWER:

First thing is, Kavana P'shuta, you have to know the translation of the words and think the translation. But I will give you a good suggestion. Every day you can put in another Peirush in that. S'hma Yisroel Hashem Elokainu Hashem Echod, Echod means He is One. What does One mean? That if you will travel to the North Pole, there Hashem is too. If you travel to the South Pole, He is there too, and in between by the way. Not only is He there, he is in between too. You go all the way to the West, or to the East, wherever you go, you will find Hashem. So if you travel to Tokyo, and you are all by yourself in a hotel, and you have a lot of money to spend, and a lot of leisure, know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is looking at you. You have to behave. You behave. If you go all the way to Hungary, in a hotel in the mountains, you have a lot of money. Behave, because Hakadosh Baruh Hu is looking at you. If you are in the North Pole all by yourself. Behave, Hashem is looking at you. And if temptations come, then you have to behave like He is on the spot, which He is. So every day think at least this thought. Mizrach, Maariv, Tzafon, Darom, Maaloh, Umatah, He is One everywhere. Now you do this for homework one day, the next day think like this.

Hashem Echod, Hashem is One, there is only one interest in our lives. We have a lot of interests, but He is the One interest. So when I go to work, it's only of Hashem that I am thinking. When I get married, only for Hashem. When I am raising children, only for Hashem. When I eat, only for Hashem. Even when I Daven, I am davening for Hashem, remember that to, it's a good idea, by the way. And so, Echod means, in all the things I do in this world, He is the only interest I have.

The next day, think Hashem Echod it means, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in this world, Ata Hu B'olam Hazeh, V'ata Hu B'olam Haba. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in both worlds. So beware of Him in this world, and fulfill His mitzvos, because in the next world we will be together with Him too. You can not take a dive off the Empire State building and get rid of Him. No. "Im Esak Shamayim Sham Ata" (Tehillim) if I will go up to the Heavens, Dovid said, there You are. If I will go down to the depths of the sea, there You are. Everyday you can add another kavana if you want, in Echod.

Another Peirush you can say in Echod means. You are the only One that exists, nobody else exists, it's all imagination. NOBODY EXISTS in this world. Nothing exists, no sun. Hakadosh Baruch Hu imagined the sun, and it came into being. If He would withdraw His imagination, there wouldn't be any sun. When you look at the sun, or the moon, you are not seeing anything. You are seeing only the D'var Hashem, B'dvar Hashem Shamayim Nasu, its only His word that you see. When He said "Yehi", let it be, U'vruach Piv Kol Tzvam, L'olam Devarcha Nitzav Bashamayim, Your word is standing in the Heavens. That's all you see, the word of Hashem. There are no trees, no people, no houses, nothing. There is only Hashem. He is the only One that has real being, like the Rambam says in the beginning of Hilchos of Yesodai Hatorah. Hashem Elokim Emes, He is the only true being. Hu Levado Emes, He is the only One that is true. All the rest in the world is not real, it's only imagination. That's a meaning of Echod.

So I gave you a few things to think about. When you finish with them see me for further homework.

see how the soldiers are going out to war,they know that the only thing that will save them is hashem himself ..they feel shema may u feel it too!!

When Saying Shema

Here's a really good answer to a question asked to R' Avigdor Miller zt"l.

If you would like to get more emails like these, they are sent out once a week. You can subscribe by clicking on this link.

QUESTION:

When saying S'hma Yisroel, what should you think about?

ANSWER:

First thing is, Kavana P'shuta, you have to know the translation of the words and think the translation. But I will give you a good suggestion. Every day you can put in another Peirush in that. S'hma Yisroel Hashem Elokainu Hashem Echod, Echod means He is One. What does One mean? That if you will travel to the North Pole, there Hashem is too. If you travel to the South Pole, He is there too, and in between by the way. Not only is He there, he is in between too. You go all the way to the West, or to the East, wherever you go, you will find Hashem. So if you travel to Tokyo, and you are all by yourself in a hotel, and you have a lot of money to spend, and a lot of leisure, know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is looking at you. You have to behave. You behave. If you go all the way to Hungary, in a hotel in the mountains, you have a lot of money. Behave, because Hakadosh Baruh Hu is looking at you. If you are in the North Pole all by yourself. Behave, Hashem is looking at you. And if temptations come, then you have to behave like He is on the spot, which He is. So every day think at least this thought. Mizrach, Maariv, Tzafon, Darom, Maaloh, Umatah, He is One everywhere. Now you do this for homework one day, the next day think like this.

Hashem Echod, Hashem is One, there is only one interest in our lives. We have a lot of interests, but He is the One interest. So when I go to work, it's only of Hashem that I am thinking. When I get married, only for Hashem. When I am raising children, only for Hashem. When I eat, only for Hashem. Even when I Daven, I am davening for Hashem, remember that to, it's a good idea, by the way. And so, Echod means, in all the things I do in this world, He is the only interest I have.

The next day, think Hashem Echod it means, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in this world, Ata Hu B'olam Hazeh, V'ata Hu B'olam Haba. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in both worlds. So beware of Him in this world, and fulfill His mitzvos, because in the next world we will be together with Him too. You can not take a dive off the Empire State building and get rid of Him. No. "Im Esak Shamayim Sham Ata" (Tehillim) if I will go up to the Heavens, Dovid said, there You are. If I will go down to the depths of the sea, there You are. Everyday you can add another kavana if you want, in Echod.

Another Peirush you can say in Echod means. You are the only One that exists, nobody else exists, it's all imagination. NOBODY EXISTS in this world. Nothing exists, no sun. Hakadosh Baruch Hu imagined the sun, and it came into being. If He would withdraw His imagination, there wouldn't be any sun. When you look at the sun, or the moon, you are not seeing anything. You are seeing only the D'var Hashem, B'dvar Hashem Shamayim Nasu, its only His word that you see. When He said "Yehi", let it be, U'vruach Piv Kol Tzvam, L'olam Devarcha Nitzav Bashamayim, Your word is standing in the Heavens. That's all you see, the word of Hashem. There are no trees, no people, no houses, nothing. There is only Hashem. He is the only One that has real being, like the Rambam says in the beginning of Hilchos of Yesodai Hatorah. Hashem Elokim Emes, He is the only true being. Hu Levado Emes, He is the only One that is true. All the rest in the world is not real, it's only imagination. That's a meaning of Echod.

So I gave you a few things to think about. When you finish with them see me for further homework.

Shema Yisroel

My Brother's Yartzheit Part 2 About Shalom a"h

My brother was niftar just two and a half weeks before his 16th birthday. In these short years, he accomplished so much. Let me tell you a few of the things that we got to hear about him-some we had known from before and some we only got to hear after he was niftar.

First of all, I want you to know that my brother was not a wild boy who was just climbing the tree to act up. He was very careful with what he did at all times.
In fact, my neighbor told us that even as a little boy, Shalom a"h was extremely gentle. When her son was born, Shalom was still young (about 1 ½ years old) and he would sit near my neighbor and just look at him and rock him in the infant seat. He would stare at him and watch him gently, never once pulling out his pacifier or shaking the infant seat.
Also, he always wore a helmet whenever he rode his bike (even when no one was watching). He always used his bike to help and so we called it the “mitzvah bike.” Whenever we needed something to be done, Shalom would always offer to do it because it was “no big deal.” When his bike was stolen we made sure to get him a new one right away because he always used his bike for mitzvos.

After his bar mitzvah, he even put together an “invention” of his own to be able to keep his hat in the basket of his bike while riding with a helmet on his head. He opened up the inside of his hat box, cut open the middle circle and used duct tape to keep it on his basket. This way, whenever he was going to do favors for other people, which is primarily what he used his bike for, he wore his helmet while riding the bike and then would be able to go into the stores/houses with his hat on.

My brother was also very careful to always kiss the mezuzah. Even when he was much younger, he was careful with his special mitzvah. He used to like to go to sleep in my mother's bed and then someone would "transfer" him by walking him into his own bed while he was half asleep. Even while he was being walked into his own bed, he would ALWAYS stretch out his hand and kiss the mezuzah! Imagine! He was half asleep and he still kissed the mezuzah! Do we remember to kiss the mezuzah when we are fully awake?! It's just a quick way of saying, "Hashem, I love you. Thank you for always watching over me and protecting me at all times!" (and if you have an extra minute, you can also think about what is written inside each mezuzah…Shema…V'ahavta…V'haya…schar v'onesh…but that's a very high level…let's start with small things!)

Shalom really and truly cared about each one of Hashem's creations. One day, he came home with a swollen hand. When we asked him what had happened, he said, "Oh! Nothing! I was just riding my bike and a bird flew in front of me so I didn’t want to hurt the bird. I quickly pressed on my brakes and missed the bird by an inch and I fell off my bike. But I'm fine! As long as I didn’t hurt the bird!"
After my mother insisted that he go for x-rays (and Shalom insisting that he was fine…), we found out that he broke his arm!
He broke his hand so as not to harm the bird physically…let us make sure not to break other people's hearts and hurt them emotionally – that's much worse!

While he was in camp, he did a lot of amazing and unusual things (unusual for someone his age) – it was the last summer of his life and he really used every minute to the fullest.
He would wake up every morning at 6:30 and go to the mikvah. (My older brother says he can almost say he is sure that Shalom a"h never missed a day in the mikvah since his bar mitzvah! And that is not easy to do!) Then, he would learn with his chavrusa for ½ hour before davening.
We also found out that he would say tikkun chatzos before he went to sleep every night.
One night, while he was in camp, a friend of his saw him saying Shema slowly and carefully. He asked him, "Why are you saying Shema so slowly? Aren't you tired after such a long day??!!”
To which my brother replied, "I might be tired but a yid never knows when his last Shema will be. I make sure to say Shema with kavana every night because I never know when it will be my last time to say it!"
Imagine if we were to perform each mitzvah and daven each tefillah as if it were the last one! What a difference it would make in our avodas Hashem if we kept this thought in our mind, even once a day!
I just heard a great quote for this –
"Live each day as if it were the last because one day you are going to be right!"

Shalom was always looking to help others. While he was in camp, he overheard a boy saying that he forgot to take special staples for his staple gun to camp. (They are not the regular type of staples you could pick up in any store, it's a certain brand and we "happen" to have them in our house because we use them when we decorate the succah.) Anyway, my brother called up our house and asked me if I could please send a few things to him in camp and he gave me a small list… (a na nach yarmulke…for fun at night/plays and a few other stuff…) One of the things he asked for was these staples for the staple gun. We sent them with the next package and he gave them to the boy who had mentioned it in passing…as if it was NO BIG DEAL and so NORMAL to do this "tiny" favor!

His name was Shalom, kishmo kein hu; he was always trying to make peace. At the shivah, many boys came and told us stories about how he had lifted their spirits. And they all said that when Shalom was around, there was a certain "geshmak" in the atmosphere. He always made everything so exciting and fun, even the boring hikes or activities.
That reminds me, the boys once went on a hike and one boy stepped on a beehive and got terribly bitten. Shalom lifted the boy up and carried him ALL THE WAY back to camp!
My little brother, Yitzy, was in camp for first half and came home for the second half of the summer. He told us that Shalom came to his bunkhouse and helped him pack up the night before he left. He gave him all the time he needed and advice as well. (He had a siddur that was a little torn so Shalom told Yitzy to leave it for the kids who come second half…) That was the last time he got to see Shalom…

The shabbos before he was niftar was Shabbos Nachamu…which he spent in Skolya Bungalow Colony, with the Skolya rebbe and many other Chassidim. They had a very nice shabbos and on motzei shabbos, all the men danced until the wee hours of the morning. After the dancing was over, everyone left except for one boy. My brother stayed in the bais medrash, put all the seforim away and neatly arranged the tables and chairs so the shul would be ready for the men to learn the next morning.
The next day, Sunday, was Visiting Day. Really, that year Visiting Day came out on Tisha B'av so some camps moved it back one week and some pushed it forward. His camp, Stolin, pushed it forward one week. Meaning, Visiting Day was about a week and a half before the boys were scheduled to come home from camp. Since his camp is very far out and not near any other camp, we did what many families did. We said to ourselves, "Why should we shlep all the way?! We'll see him in another week anyway!"
Or so we thought.
But my sister, brother-in-law and niece were in the country for Shabbos Nachamu and so was my older brother. So, the four of them took Shalom out for pizza on Visiting Sunday.
While they were there, my sister insisted on taking pictures so finally, my brother-in-law went to the car to get the camera!
And because of them, we have a whole bunch of beautiful pictures of my brother a day before he was niftar. He was happy and smiling and this gave us such a nechama! We were so comforted when we saw how he spent his last summer in camp and that he was REALLY happy!
On Monday morning, the last day of his life, he was very tired. He had been up really late on Motzei Shabbos Nachamu and again on Sunday night, after Visiting Day. Shalom asked his rebbe if he can please stand during learning because he was afraid he would fall asleep if he was sitting. He stood the entire time, leaning on his shtender and learning with an extra "bren," his rebbe said.

Read part 3 here.