(I wrote part of this as a comment on a different post on shabbos.)
How can we come closer to Hashem this shabbos? What does it mean to spend time with Hashem and build a relationship with Him on Shabbos? And why is Shabbos any different than any other day of the week?
On this special day, when there are less distractions, we can connect to Hashem on a deeper level. One way to do this is to go out of your way to make this day more spiritual. For example, you can read a book on a topic that will enhance your appreciation for yiddishkeit. You can read a hashkafah book or something on the Parsha. There are so many books out there-in English-that you can read! Let me know if you want any suggestions.
You can say some extra tehillim with a tehillim that has the meaning of the words inside it (such as an interlinear one). The tehillim is so incredible, saying it with proper concentration and thought can really help you connect to your Loving Father more!!
You can do an extra mitzvah - such as visiting someone who is elderly or sick or volunteering to help a family through Chai Lifeline.
You can make it your business to help your own family out more on Shabbos-babysit your younger siblings so your mother can rest.
You can go to a speech on a topic that you feel you need chizuk in.
You can learn something with your friend(s) that will help answer some of the questions you had.
Anything that you do on Shabbos that will enhance and improve your spiritual level is connecting to Hashem in a very deep way. That is how you spend time with Hashem-by learning His Torah and doing His mitzvos.
Shabbos is such a special day! It is a day we can all feel Hashem's love on a deeper level. If a person takes a moment to stop what they are doing and just THINK about all the amazing things Hashem does for them, their heart will be filled with such an incredible love for Him!! There are so many miracles in this world - right in front of your eyes!! Just open up your eyes and you will see-every human being who is walking down the street is a real miracle! Do you know what it means to have a pair of eyes that can see every color of the rainbow?
Recently, I was reading about how there was a new discovery/invention to try to restore eyesight to people who were blind. It was incredible to read about it and see that try as they might, the researchers are unable to duplicate the human eye! It is the most amazing camera that ever existed. You can notice something from the corner of your eye without even looking at it! You can see an unlimited amount of colors. The lens in your camera - the human eye - cleans itself every few seconds, with special liquid just so that you have clarity of vision and nothing gets blurred. One of the challenges these people had when trying to create another eye is that it was going to work on electricity but everyone knows that you can't put these things in water but they needed to create a lens that could get wet!! They were able to create a special lens with a whole bunch of rods that goes in the person's eye...it was a whole complicated procedure and when the person put this lens on, they were only able to see vaguely, not very clearly!! So you see how amazing the human eye is and that is only a small, tiny piece of Hashem's creations!!!
You have the most magnificent and complicated camera - and two of them!! Wow, you are so lucky to have a pair of eyes that work!!
So take some time this Shabbos to think about some of the miracles going on inside you - and use some of these ideas to make this Shabbos a special one!!
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wat do you do when you dread shabboos. especially in the summer. when you don't have an eruv but you do have babies an the interminable hours devided between rereading the yated for the 100th time and trying to entertain the little ones and you just want it to be over do you can listen to some music or text a friend?
ReplyDeletei cry.for you.cuz you're missing out on the most special relationship in the world!!!!
ReplyDeleteshabbos is our honeymoon with Hashem. it's a time that we spend just with Him. Me and my Father. a whole week flies by. thursday i didn't even know was thursday. life can be soooooo busy, and we can forget about what life really is. shabbos is the time to sit and think. where are we holding? where am i going? up? down?
it's the basis of where our kids get their appreciation for yiddishkeit from.
it's all about our connection with
Hashem. Is spending time with my Father pleasant? a whole 26 hours that is dedicated just to HIM. Klal Yisroel and Hashem?!?! It's incredible. it's amazing.
imagine your husband telling you Chava, tonight is just you and me. send the kdis to a babysitter, my parents, your parents. tonight we're going to a hotel. we're not gonna think about anything. just enjoying and strengthening our realtionship. that is Shabbos. our work is on the side. money matters are all forgoettn. the stresses of the week disapear and are put on back burner cuz we are showing Hashem how important our relationship is with Him. it's the time when we think about the amazingness of creation. how everything is for us. how Hashem is always there for us.
It's family time. It's my time. it's your time. it's Hashem's time.
i think a way to get there is to make shabbos tangible. wear something new this shabbos. make a special cake and splurge on the calories just cuz it's shabbos. read a different kind of book. light the fireplace so it's on through Friday night, and start Friday night oneg.take a friday night shabbos walk. the weather is gorgeous!!!!
try a neighborhood shalosh seudos when the men are in shul. make a point of visiting your friends or sitting outside. when else do you have a chance?
do something physical to make shabbos special.
another idea is to learn about shabbos.
pretend it's special, and do something to make it special and it'll become special. it already is...
hatzlacha! let us know how it goes this week:)
i feel for you. my problem w/ shabbos is that i usually have to spend it with my family-ohh the joy ;) and my usual ways of venting are taken away. like u said, music and for me, writing. i think someone had pretty good advice, another thing i'd add is for a mother, take some time for yourself, if possible. get a babysitter for a few hours in the summer. hey, i'll do it, so i can get away from the fam lolll
ReplyDeletesomene. your post is so unhelpful. its great that you're all holy on shabbos. my shabbos are filled with the mundane, like serving, cleaning, diapers , breakin up fights and so on. sit outside with friends? what friends? the very few that havn't moved to lakewood go away for the summer and even when its nt summer all are at least a few houses walk away and for the same reason i can't go to a shiur or a shalosh seudos , there is no eruv and have a baby. i can't force myslf to love shabbos when i just don't its long and boring for me.
ReplyDeleteyour analogy to a dae night with hubby doesn't apply. i'm the babysitter in that story, not the wife. i don't get to commune with hashem because i'm communing with a bored 6 year old and a busy infant. tatty takes them for an hour in the afternoon during which if i can't fall asleep i wander around the block hoping to find anther soul to talk to. aything i cok t make shabs special is consumed by 1:00 in the afternoon. what do i do for the next 8 or nine hours?you're post is all fluff and not realistic in my situation. a fireplace? in my tiny walkin apartment without even a living room to get cozy in and with a family of 6 squished in? where the dining nook, the closest thing to living space we have is 6 feet wide? come on.
ohyeah, i can't find a sitter even when its not summer, but its impossible in summer when the teens are in camp
ReplyDeleteChava, is there any type of bnos/groups program in your community for shabbos afternoon? I know there is in mine, to entertain the kids and give some time for the mother to rest.
ReplyDeletethere is a b'nos group for one hour and my daughter doesn't like to go. they end after pesach anyway until after succos
ReplyDeleteChava, I know exactly what you feel like-i'm in you situation (actually my son finally can walk so I can go to visit my sister next block) but untill he walked....
ReplyDeleteOne thing I think we are diff is (let me know if I'm wrong) is that I work during the week-and it sounds like you don't.
By the time shabbos comes around i'm not majorly looking for social -only to sleep, sleep, sleep and that's hard with a 2,4.5,and 6 yr old kids (I know that it's supposed to be great to have kids close togetether-so they can play together -but the fact is that they don't they fight, argue, and cry more then they play together. and running after a 2 yr old-that strikes matches, opens up bathroon sink water-while closing the plug-and pouring water all over the bathroom floor with a cup-isn't the best way to spend shabbos.
I find a relief in the afternoon-If I send my daughter over to a friend/neighbor -or even bring s/o over-that way she's kept busy with them-and she's not busy killing her other sister
the best is if you can have a friend with kids coming over -this way the house will get wrecked(I know you'll have to spend a good hour after shabbos cleaning up the kid's room) but if you have a good time with your friend while the kids don't bother you-then it's worth it!!!
also after the shabbos meal by day-my kids still nap (my 6 yr old is resisting it already-but she knows she has to be quiet with a book until 4 oclock -but even if your kids don't nap-my sister-prepares them a shabbos peckel on the condiditon that they play quitely in their room-and watch the littl ekids -(my kids it would nver work for-but maybe her kids are older 10 & 8 yr old-but come to think of it -they did it 2-3 yr ago also-when they were my daughters age but go figure-there are no rules-everyone is different!) yes, it's very frusrating for me that when my kids are up-I can't even pick up s/t to read-they want me to be busy with them or they fight....
I know when I devote an afternoon to my kids-playing with them, reading to them (not just watching them)-it makes me feel good about being a good mother! (and no, your kids will not always show appreciation-even after playing with them-they will still challenge you-and that's the frustration of motherhood-that we have to keep giving our kids-and we don't alwasy get back feedback from them.
I don't know how much I helped you-but let me know if anything I wrote you found to be true/in you theme of things...and not just fluff!!! (and no, I don't have time either to daven, tehillim-I don't feel much spirtuality either on shabbos-I leave that up to the seminary/post seminary girls and the grandmother....-I know s/o that she is makpid to daven mincha only-that way it's only 5-10 minutes-and that's how she feels she's connected...)