What's My Purpose?

Someone submitted the following question. Sometimes in life, I find myself confused with what I am doing. Yes, I go to school, study, do chessed, etc. But what exactly is my ultimate purpose? How do I know how to fulfill my tafkid in this world? Also, if I spend my time doing futile things, things unnecessary for my spiritual growth, is that considered bitul zman? Where should the balance be? Thank you so, so much!

This is such an important question!! So many people have this question and I am so happy that you asked it so that I can try to answer it for you and for all those girls who are wondering about this!! You sound like such a special person - someone who really wants to feel fulfilled!!

Here's my answer: It is easy to grow confused when you are lacking direction. You feel like you are doing the same thing day in and day out and feel there is little purpose to what you are doing. But let me tell you a little secret - a person doesn't know what their tafkid in this world is!! Surprise, surprise! So many people have the same question you do. If we all knew what we needed to accomplish in this world, there would be little challenge for us because our mission is already figured out for us. Part of life is that we don't know what the real reason we were put into this world and what we are meant to do. But we do have some clues. Hashem has given us little hints along the way to help us figure it out. Each person should try to look out and listen to the messages Hashem is sending them.

We are given the Torah as our guide and our job is to do as many mitzvos as possible. I once heard that the things that are the hardest, the most difficult and challenging for you - those are the things Hashem put you into the world to fix. Each person knows what their challenges are. For some people it is anger, for others it's working on their kibbud av va'eim, and for others it's their patience that could use a little tune-up. Every person has challenges and things that are hard for them. Look deep inside yourself and see what it is that is really hard for you. That should give you a little bit of a clue of what you have to work on.

You want to feel more fulfilled. That is so special! Your question tells me that you are someone who values time and wants to make the most of it. It is normal for every person to feel that there have been some moments/minutes/hours during their day they have not used to the fullest. We are not malachim! We are expected to do the best we can. Everything can be used to improve your spirituality and to become closer to Hashem - whether it's the food you eat, with the proper brachos before and after you eat them and with the right thoughts or even when you go online - if you use your time to read and watch things that will bring you closer to Hashem - each thing you do has the ability to raise you up a level of spirituality - but the choice is yours. The same things can be used to your detriment. If you do not elevate your actions, they remain just that - actions devoid of any spirituality. So think about how you spend your time every day and try to see if you can fill your actions with more spirituality. How can you do that? One way is by talking to Hashem (even in your head, it doesn't have to be out loud if you are not comfortable with that yet). Speak to Him throughout the day and tell Him what is on your mind. On your way home from school, while you are studying, after you finished a delicious supper - use the time you have to connect to Hashem and develop a relationship with Him. Every time you talk to Him, you will feel better and more uplifted.

I once had a hard and frustrating day at work (well, not once! More than once lol) and on my way home, I decided to talk it out with Hashem. I told Him how hard my day was and how frustrating it was for me to be stuck overtime on the phone when I had wanted to leave on time. I had not been in the mood and had just wanted to get home already and by the time I left work, I wasn't feeling all that great with the way I had ended off my day. So I told Hashem how I was feeling and while I was talking, I started to think that this was a (small) situation Hashem had put me in and just talking to Him and realizing that this came from Him made me feel better already! Talking to your Father reminds you that every situation you are in comes from Him! This will make you a more spiritually aware person - more aware of the fact that everything that is happening in your life comes from Hashem and this realization will also help you improve your emunah-your trust in Him!

Even if you feel like right now your life revolves around school, tests, and homework, you will be able to feel much better about yourself and the way you spend your time when you use it improve your relationship with Hashem. You have a whole life ahead of you. The time you spend in high school will fly by so fast and then you will be starting a different life. Once school is over, you do not have that constant spoon-feeding of inspiration and weekly parsha lessons. You will have to fill your neshama with spiritual food on your own-by going to shiurim, listening to speeches, learning at night with friends...and eventually, it will be your kids parsha sheets that will remind you what this weeks parsha is! (Imagine that! It's not that far away!!) Appreciate the time you have while you still have it - you are lucky to still be in a school setting where you are taught all you need to know about the parshios, upcoming yomim tovim and everything that is going on in the hebrew calendar! Right now, since I am not in school anymore, I use the time I have on Shabbos to read things that will help me improve spiritually. You are so lucky to be in a place that is conducive to spiritual growth and to have teachers who are helping you learn all you need to know!

Another suggestion is to try to designate a certain amount of time every day/week for something specific that will improve your level of spirituality. You can choose to go to a shiur once a week (If you live in Brooklyn, you can go to Ohr Naava where there are amazing things going on every single night!) or learn something on the phone with a friend or take the time to learn something every night before you go to sleep or every Shabbos. There are so many books out there on many different topics-just choose one that “talks to you” and that you feel will help you improve. If you are looking for suggestions, let me know and I will try to direct you. Making sure you have a specific time in your schedule that is set aside for your spiritual improvement will help you grow and become a better person.

By working on your middos and using the time you have now to grow spiritually, whether it is by going to shiurim or learning something with a friend and by speaking to Hashem throughout your day, you will definitely be coming closer to Him - and that is surely one of the things you should be doing while you are in this world. I cannot tell you specifically what you should be doing and how you should be spending your time, but by using your time wisely, to improve your relationship with Hashem, you will feel much happier and spiritually fulfilled.

I hope this helps!!
If the person who submitted this question can please come back and comment to let me know that she saw the answer, it would really mean a lot to me. Also, please let me know if there is anything else that you still want to know. Thanks!!