Hashem Said No!!!
I asked Hashem to take away my bad habit.
Hashem said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked Hashem to make my handicapped child whole.
The answer was No. His neshama is whole, and his
warmth and love for others is more whole than you will ever know!
I asked Hashem to grant me patience. Again Hashem said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked Hashem to give me happiness. Hashem said, No.
I give you so many blessings; and you will choose to see all my good.
Since , Happiness is up to you.
I asked Hashem to spare me from hardships and pain. Again i was told No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you so much closer to me.
I asked Hashem to make my neshama grow. Hashem said, No. You must grow on your own! when you overcome your strong desires you get closer to me!!
I asked Hashem for all good things that I might enjoy life. Hashem said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked Hashem to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. Hashem said...Ahhhh, finally you got it!!!! take all my love that i give you and give it to others!!
we must realize that Hashem has the broadest picture and knows how to make each and every situation fit into our neshamos!! we see from here that you got everything you needed just in a diff. way than you expected! Hashem answers every tefilla, we just have to open our eyes and see him!!
thank you chanala for this post!! i love it!!
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wow that was beautiful! thank you!!
ReplyDeletehashem always answers our tefillos- just sometimes the answer is no!
ReplyDeletei raelly like the one where you ask for your Neshama to grow and Hashem says no. Because this one seems like you ask to grow adn then your not i did this and i thought maybe Hashem doesn't let me grow i couldn't figure out what was going on i wanted to grow and i was still sturuggling what did Hashem want from me. i thought that is what i had to do but it wasn't working what was going on here? But now i know that it not enough to want but i have to fight and do it on my own Hashem isn't going to make me do it i have to truggle. i k==now know that when i want to do somthign good and ask and then i don't and i feel that maybe im not on that leavle then its not Hashem and i can be on that leavle but, it is the Satan talking to me because he wants me to stop because he knows that, that is to most spichal thing to Hashem when we grow and overcome and give uop and change and we can get so far if we do. This the satan most deffinaty doesn't want. so thank you for ataht eye opener.
ReplyDeleteL'lay Nishmas R' Yehrachmle Ben Shimin
i don't understand how Hashem said no when it came to the person asking for her Nashama to grow (i know its not a real person but still.) becuase in't there a gemanr or somthing im not sure from where but, i learn it year after year- if you only open you Neshma your want like an eye of a neddle Hshem will do the rest. so isn't davening to grow even more then an eye of a neddle/ so how come Hashem isn't doing the rest to make you grow i know that this Chazel is true buti just don't seee ho. does anyone have an anser for me? or chaya sara anyone this is really bathering me. Thanks
ReplyDeleteI think the answer to your question is in the original post:
ReplyDelete"I asked Hashem to make my neshama grow. Hashem said, No. You must grow on your own! when you overcome your strong desires you get closer to me!!"
The writer says: I asked Hashem to make my neshama grow and Hashem said, I can't do it for you! You need to do it on your own! I will give you the tools to grow but it is not something automatic that will just happen if you ask for it! You need to DO SOMETHING to make yourself grow!! Overcome your strong desires and you will become closer to me!
That's what Hashem says! He says that there is no 'quick way' to just grow, it has to come from within you! If you desire change and growth, you need to show Hashem you want to...by doing things that inspire growth, not just by sitting around!! davening for growth is not the way it will happen, you have to work on yourself to become better and that's how you can grow in your closeness to Hashem.
Of course, davening for help is part of it, but just asking for it is not the whole picture. And yes, davening DOES bring you closer to Hashem but it's the actual actions that make you grow, overcoming obstacles and making real changes in your life is what will help you grow.
I hope this answers your question somewhat...if you still want to hear more, let me know.
OK but then when you do whatever you are working then why is it still so hard. Yes i know that that is the proses of growing but how does growing through your own efforts major effort fit in with the Chazal just do like an eye of a needle and then Hashem will help, these two ideas don't sound like they go and they both have to be true so how do they go together maybeim missing a peace that can connect the two because right now they seem paradoxical to me.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote its not enough to daven for it but, have to do something to express it so why then once i do something concrete to express my desire and i do if=t for a while why do i then fall back again into the old way and start to not care anymore i did the effort and showed the work so why is it constant work it should only be the firsts few times hard and then it seems according to the Chazel that is would become second nature to me but, its not like that. im totally confused is it me that i have to keep battling or is Hashem going to do it like the chazel imply after i show the effort by taking action?
ReplyDeleteIn attempt to add what Devorah said. I have heard this from Chevi Garfinkel and from Mrs. Orenstein on a CD from Hadar seminary.
ReplyDeleteWe say in Hodu, "Harchev Picha V'Amaleihu" - Open up your mouth and I will fill it. Hashem is telling us that when we ask for ruchniyus things, He will grant us the siyata D'Shmaya and will help us get there because we can not accomplish anything on our own.
Just a small example as a follow-up of my last post. When I was talking to my friend the other night she was telling me that she wishes she could have a better davening and really feel Hashem. The next morning I davened that she should be zoche to daven well, really feel Hashem's Presence throughout her day and feel really close to Him. That night my friend texted me thanking me for our discussion cuz it helped her daven and that she had a so much better day because of it. When I got her text I started to cry cuz I had davened for her and was so happy that she was zoche to daven well. Because she told, she was really mechazek me how Hashem answers us automatically when we wish and ask for ruchniyus things.
May we all be zoche to feel Hashem's Presence and siyata DShmaya Always!
Wow, i like what you saidabout davening for ur friend that really inspired me. about the whole Q abt the chazal and you having to do alot of effort is very good Q and i'm also wondering abt the answer. i am also struggling with what to work on and i dont know where to start first sometimes. i really like to daven to hashem for being closer to Him and yes i do feel closer that day, week, and sometimes month. eventually though, it fades away and my davening is not so good (if i wake up in time to daven b4 i go to work) and i just feel totally disconnected from H-shem and from my self. i don't really know the answer to Ur whole Q, i think i have an answer to my Q and it is kinda connected to u'rs cuz you said that u can try and be good and then after a while you regress. in seminary a teacher of mine said that inspiration is like ababy learnng how to walk. first the father holds the kid's hand as the kid walks. eventually he leaves go for his child must learn to walk on his own. each time he falls thefather can come help him get up. he will not hold on to his child the rest of the day in fear that he will fall, in the contrary the father will let go again and again for he wants his child to be independant. inspiration is simular. sometimes when you go to a shiur you get a huge bust of inspiration and that day and maybe even th naext day you feel so inspired and you wanna only do the right thing, everyhting seems so clear. after a few days though you may find ur self regressing back to u'r old ways. this is a result of not working on our selves. H-shem gives us a beautiful present of inspiration once in a while. while we have this inspiration it's a million times easier to daven better, to have self control, and to do everything in the world better. And then this inspiration leaves us after a while. we go back to our old ways, this is when H-shem let go and is saying now do it on ur own, make it real. how is this a present?? just keep us inspired 4 ever! the effort must be ours, that's how we can get the Zichus. H-shem gives us these bursts of inspiration so that we can get a taste of the next level and know that it is in our reach. this idea really did help me alot, like in my emuna. in my davening though, i just keep on regressing and going up, it's a vicious cycle! i am begining to realize that just knowing this concept (or any peice of inspiration) is not enough. it must become apart of us, we must always review and think about it until it becomes ingrained. this is withany thing. just by always reminding my self that H-shem loves me helps me to me to feel special and to feel his presence. i also saw a very good short two min video on AISH.COM on inspiration, it was shown a few weeks ago during shavuous time. it really explained this concept clearly. check it out, i really liked it! may we all live to our fullest potential and help each other grow therby bringing moshiach closer to our days!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for all your ansers to my question im really finally getting it and learning this is gr8!! I just but its not a just~ thank Chaya Sara for setting up this blogg and giving me a place to ask and learn espichally in this season when im not in school withinspiration and a pressure to do good and grow but, now i still hve it even whil eim at home Thanx!!
ReplyDeleteWow CK, I love that example of the father teaching the child how to walk! It explains things so clearly - that, yes, Hashem gives us inspiration but then we have to keep it and keep working on ourselves.
ReplyDeleteJust want to mention, a way to keep yourself inspired to daven well - this really helped me a lot: there's a really unbelievable book/sefer called Praying With Fire and it is divided into 5 minute segments to learn each day. It really helped me soo much with my davening. By learning something about tefillah each day, it helps keep you inspired and keep growing in your connection to Hashem instead of being inspired one day and then the inspiration slowly fades away...this keeps it going strong!!
its so nice to have a place to be able to feel safe!! thanks!! i have soo mzny things i want to clarify and i feel really good here.
ReplyDelete