From the comments on my last post, I can see that people get frustrated when they daven and daven for something and then things don’t change or become better.
I wanted to just point out to all of you that we are in this world to change ourselves and to become better, not to change the situation we find ourselves in. Hashem, who knows what’s best for each individual, put you in a specific situation that is best for your growth. You can change yourself when you go through something hard, or you can let yourself fall - but remember that the choice is yours.
When you daven for something and you see that your situation isn’t improving, keep in mind that the purpose of the challenge is to change who you are, work on yourself and improve your middos.
Hashem loves you and knows what’s best for you. When you start to feel down about the things you davened for and didn’t get the answer you wanted, remind yourself of all the times you davened for something and it did work out! That will help and encourage you to continue, not to give up and you will know that each tefillah is powerful and will do something.
You asked Hashem for a parking spot and found one right away. You davened for hatzlacha on your test and you did well. You needed that phone call to work out well and it did (that’s for you! I know you’re reading this!). That sick person did get better. The surgery went well. You were going shopping and found what you wanted/needed quickly and it was a good price too! Supper came out better than you expected. Your siblings were nice to you when you had a hard day. You hear some good news. Someone does something to brighten your day and make you feel better.
Also, remind yourself that Hashem gave you so much good – and there are so many things you have that you didn’t even daven for and never asked for!
You are healthy. You can see, walk and talk. You have a great personality/sense of humor and people enjoy spending time with you. You woke up refreshed, energized and in a good mood. And there are so many other things you have that you never even davened for, Hashem just gave them to you.
All of these “small things” are reminders from Hashem that He loves you and wants you to continue to connect to Him. Even when you don’t see an immediate answer to the things you daven and beg for, remind yourself of the times that Hashem answered you for the things you davened for – and the things you didn’t even ask for!
Remember - you are in this world to become a better person. Remind yourself constantly that your purpose is not to change your circumstances, but to change yourself. You are put into the family, neighborhood, school, work environment that is best for your spiritual growth. It is up to you to use the situation you are in to become closer to Hashem and to become a better person. And when you get frustrated that your situation isn’t changing, that you are davening for things and you aren’t getting what you want, remind yourself of the times that Hashem answered other tefillos and when He gave you things you didn’t even ask for! And that you are here to change yourself, not your situation!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tefillah - When Your Situation Doesn't Change
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Circumstance,
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Hashem is soo awesome! I went to check my emails right after I posted this and there was a Mazel Tov email in my inbox - someone I know just had a baby! Just goes to show you how good Hashem is to us, sending good news our way just when we need to hear it!
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I'm stuck in a messy situation I'm all busy thinking of what needs to be done to fix it... and all that. Like in order for me to feel relief, this and this will have to happen... and I start to worry! Then I remember that Hashem knows what He has to do so I don't have to be 'Hashem's Secretary' and work out His plans for Him! When I daven I just have to ask Hashem for the strength to see that all is for my good.
ReplyDeletebut in reality it is not so easy to just be that Miss positive and forget about all those nisyonos hashem gave you...
ReplyDeleteTrue, it's not easy to be positive when we have challenges. But it help to make things smoother.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Hashem is waiting for us to improve something, before giving us what we're asking for. He wants us to have it at the right time.
two ideas that often help me: 1. Davening is an investment. When you invest money, sometimes you take out some money to buy a couple small things and sometimes you let it sit and accrue to buy something bigger later, like saving up for college or for a car. Davening is making an investment of tefilla to Hashem that He might choose not to expend on a couple small, happy things for your day, but to save for when you"ll need a big thing in your life and He spends your tefillot.
ReplyDelete2. It's important to remember that davening is not about getting what you want, it's about getting what you need. Hashem knows what you need. And even if you and Hashem are't aligned to be thinking that you need the same things, davening just develops your connection with Hashem and even if you don't get what you asked for, you did get something amazing- you get Hashem in your life. And anyway that just means He's more openly involved in your life for you to see more Hashgacha, which means you more get what you want, which really is just because you are making Ritzoncha Ritzono, and your wants are aligned with His wants for you.
Thank you so much for this enlightening post!!
R-So true. Hashem doesn't need us to be His secretary! Such a good thing to remember!
ReplyDeleteAnon-Of course it isn't easy! Life is not always easy street. But I was just pointing out that when we daven and don't see an answer right away, remember that we are not the ones in control. The only One who can change our situation is Hashem! And the only thing we can change is ourselves! It doesn't take away from the nisyonos we have but it helps to remember Who really controls our life!
Sharona-Thanks!
Tamar-I love that mashal! I never heard it that way!
And I like the way you explained it - davening definitely brings Hashem into your life! Thanks!!
Yes your so right that tefila is the way to connect to hashem. but theres also our actions-right? only i have a small question on this: how would u know if its a test or not? or Hashem wants it to be that way? mabey we are the ones who are suppost to change it
ReplyDeletebtw i just joined!
Liat-Welcome!!!
ReplyDeleteJust a poem a wrote a while ago, I thought it might fit in...I'm not sure exactly which post, so I'll fit it in here. Hope you all enjoy!!!
I look around and try to see
the fresh grass that rubs my heel.
The raindrops, wet, fall on me
I wipe them off from where I feel.
But try as I might, the grass will remain
nothing more tan the bird's call I hear,
and the soft petals I feel, they'll all be the same-
a tangible darkness too near.
A clear, blue sky and the water's wave
are mere visions of the past.
A glorious sunset and items I've saved,
bring blank images, for my eyes didn't last.
"I cannot see," I tell you,
as you grip my hand in fright
"Where have you gone?" you ask me,
"Can you not see this light?"
I tell you, "No, but be glad you can,
although nothing real is lost.
I can see my Father's Hand-
I know that He's my Boss."
"I can see beyond the darkness.
I can envision the future'slight
I can peer beyond the darkness
to see a different, magnificent Sight"
"For I know my Father's artwork-
I see it's a masterpiece.
I realize it's filled with color
designed especially for me."
"So when I tell you my eyes have gone to sleep
for forever and a day,
Believe me, my friend tha I can still see
in my own, special way."
Although this gem claims she's blind
she's correct that she can't see.
But only as far as vision goes-our kind,
Because in truth, she's the Seeing Queen.
She's sees beyond the horizons
and understands far better than we.
So when the girl tells you her vision is gone,
believe me, we're blinder than she.
Liat-welcome! Keep coming back!!
ReplyDeleteHow do you know if it's a test or not? It depends what you are referring to. Usually, if something is hard for you, it is probably a test for you to become a better person. You can't always change the situation you are in, sometimes you have to learn to live it in the best way possible, but you can always try and find ways to improve yourself, work on your middos and become better in your avodas Hashem. There are always higher levels...and that's what we should be striving for!
so-I've read that before and it's a stunning poem! Thanks for posting it! :-)
You should start your own blog, y'know!
devo-i know you read it before....:)
ReplyDeletenope, i won't start my own blog! you're lucky i'm commenting on this one:} lol
so-oh yeah! I'm very lucky that you are commenting on this one! Keep them coming cuz I love your comments!! They are always so deep and full of meaning! :-D
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei love your poem btw-did u make it up?
ReplyDeletealso if hashem dont answer ur tefillos dont assume it went to waste and you will never benefit from it, hashem saves every tefilla and it may be used in the future for something u need or to prevent someting bad from happening to u! no tefilla is wasted! it can even go for your children and grandchildren, iy"h!
ReplyDelete