A Personal Relationship

Tefillah can have many different meanings.

Although we daven with a siddur every day, there's another part to tefillah that is also very important.

The purpose of tefillah is to develop a relationship with Hashem. Hashem is our father and by davening to Him, we are connecting to Him in the best way possible. I read a little bit about personal prayer in the amazing book, In Forest Fields that just like it is extremely hard for an orphan not to have a father, it is so hard for a person not to have a relationship with Hashem because He is your father! Think about it! Hashem gives you EVERYTHING you need! He wakes you up in the morning, gives you life, health and all the other good things that you have. He loves you like a parent loves their child. So if a person doesn't have a relationship with his father, it is so hard and that person can be compared to an orphan!!

So how can we develop a special relationship with Hashem?

One way is through personal prayer - which means that you make your tefillos personal and different and this way, you have your own special connection to Hashem that is different than any other person. It's yours only.

Last week, my friend emailed this amazing thought to me. She heard it from a speech from R' Shimshon Pincus. He gave a mashal of someone being proud of his wheelchair-it can go forward, it can go backwards, it can turn left and right and is even able to climb steps. It's amazing - but the wheelchair is only for the crippled. The legs of a person are much more exiting!! They can do so much more than a wheelchair. A person can bend their knees, climb stairs, walk, run, jump, hop and skip! R' Pincus went on to say that the siddur is beautiful, but it's only for the crippled. Really tefillah should come from the heart. That's how the people in previous generations davened - and nowadays because we are crippled we need a siddur. And since women don't have a chiyuv for all the 3 tefillohs every day - we have it even better - we are close to Hashem and can daven from the heart!

Of course, if someone needs a wheelchair, they should use it! We need the siddur, our generation is not the same as the generations before the anshei knesses hagedolah established a set thing and wrote down the tefillos for us to daven. And since we have a siddur, of course we should learn to use properly and it utilize it's amazing powers. But let us remember that we can speak to Hashem in our own words, and when we do, we are connecting to Him in a way that a child connects to His parent and we become so much closer to Him!

So where do you start?

What you need to do is just talk to Hashem in your own words. At the end of your day, just tell Him about your day! When you are on your way to or from school/work/the doctor/the grocery or anywhere else, just say a few words. Tell Hashem whatevers on your mind. (And now no one will even think you are weird cuz you might be talking on your bluetooth hidden under your hair! lol)

Before you are about to do something, when you need some help or guidance, talk to Hashem. Let's say you are about to go shopping. Say, "Hashem, please help me find a good pair of shoes at a good price. I should have an easy time finding them and I should like them, they should look good on me, they should fit well..." or "Hashem, please help me make the right decision about where to go next year for seminary." or "Hashem, please put the right words into my mouth before I make this phone call so I should say the right thing in the right way." or "Hashem, please give me the strength and patience I need to deal with this situation properly. Let me not get angry, let me not hurt anyone's feelings..." or "Thank you Hashem for letting me find such nice clothing when I went shopping today! I needed something that would look good for this simcha and you made it so easy for me to find something that looked nice on me but wasn't too showy. The price was just right and I'm so happy that I found it." or "Hashem, I just had such a hard day today. Please, help me walk into my house today with a smile and greet the rest of my family in the right way, without letting it out on anyone."

The key is to just tell Hashem whatever you are thinking so that you start to develop a relationship with Him. It's such an amazing feeling to be able to talk to Hashem straight out. Because He created you and so He understands you best. He put you in every situation you find yourself in, so talking to Him and unburdening yourself to Him will make you feel so much better!

When I started talking to Hashem about something, I realized that, "hey! Hashem put me in this situation in the first place!" So it helped me put things into perspective and realize that sometimes little petty things can get me annoyed and frustrated, all I have to do is let out my feelings to Hashem and then I can feel so much better already!!

A really cool thing about personal prayer is this: (I also read this in that book) When you daven in your own words, there's no such thing as not having kavanna. You don't get carried away with other thoughts because you are talking from your heart! And so, your tefillos go straight up to shamayim and the malachim have no power over them. They can't block your tefillos from going up. Since personal prayer is different every day and every minute, there is no way for them to have any power over what you say and they can't stop your tefillos from going up! When you are talking from your heart, you are thinking about what you are saying and so your innermost thoughts go straight up to Hashem! Isn't that amazing?!!!

The important thing is to keep talking to Hashem at all times during the day. Train yourself to talk to Him about anything and everything. He is your father. He loves you and He's waiting to hear from you!!