How to do Real Teshuva VERY IMPORTANT!!

I just wanted to share with you some ideas of how to do teshuva.
you may think its too hard to really do teshuva. So I am here to tell you that Rabbi Ephriam Waxman spoke abt. how to fix up the past yrs. mess ups, and it so much easier than you think!

Rabbi Milstein shared this insight with me:
when you look at a fruit you notice that it is dry, and hard on the outside....
once you take a bite into it, it tastes so refreshing, so juicy, and so delicious...
same with teshuva it may seem so dry.... so hard... but once you do it Ahhhh!!
you get to taste that really refreshing feeling.... it feels so good so juicy.... and once you get to the bottom of the fruit there is a pit and you can now replant it and make a whole bunch of new fruits.... same with teshuva once you do it you can now go and replant YOURSELF YOU ARE NOW A NEW PERSON!
when you do teshuva you erase bad that was in this world!!
HOW????????
bec. whem we are dirty with mud from our avieros we really are causing more reminders to wake us up! But when we do teshuva we are saying HASHEM I WOKE UP!!! WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE REMINDERS!!
SO LETS GET STARTED!!!

you start off by going into a room and closing the door, even taking a walk by yourself,
its your private moment with Hashem:
make sure all cell phones are closed, no emails, no texting, no music just for a few min. completely connect to Hashem and noone else! The main thing is to find a time where you can be alone and just be real with yourself and Hashem.

Think back to last year, what did you do wrong -
1.VIDUY- tell hashem what you did.
i was disrepectful to my mother....
i made fun of a girl...
i lied to my friends....
i watched things i should not have...

2a.CHARATA-tell Hashem i feel so bad about what i did!
Think about how bad you feel bec. hashem gives you so much good. and you used it to go against Hashem!
you gave me eyes and i used them to look at things i should not have...
tell hahem I'M SO SORRY!!! Think of your own ideas of how you want to appoligize to your father in heaven!!
2b.The best way to do teshuva is out of ahavas Hashem
tell Hashem that you love him. Hashem you give me friends, life, happiness, delicious food, inspiration the list can go on....
Hashem i just love you sooo much!
we all know this just reminder how great teshuva is:
If you do teshuva bec. of your love for Hashem then every single aveira that you did will turn into a mitzva!! (says it in the gemara, and Rabbi Wallerstein!)
can you imagine every tiny aveira that you did will become a mitzva! If you tell Hashem how bad you feel that you upset your mother...., and your and your mother is mochel you, guess what IT IS NOW A MITZVA!!!
I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I WANT TO COME TO ROSH HASHANA FILLED WITH MITZVOS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER THAN WE THINK!!
were almost done!

3. AZIVAS HACHAIT- end the aveira
if you have ability to never do certain things again like a concrete thing that you know is wrong, and now you realize how much you don't want to do it then you can make a plan of what you will do instead of that silly thing!
there are some aveiros where we know we will do it again no matter what cuz its not possible to say i will never talk lashon hara again...
so for every day mitzvos, you can come up with a plan of something you will learn to help you in that area so that slowly you can improve!

4. KABALA AL HAASID- planning for the future
take one small area where you know for sure that you will win!!
Once a week i will make sure that when my mother asks me to come to help her i will go as soon as she calls...
meaning plan a small thing that you are capable of doing!
and see that it really is do able!!
How do you eat a big huge slice of pizza one bite at a time!
As long as Hashem sees you working on yourself you are in for good news!!

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation said that they are launching a very easy machsom lefei world wide. Every one who does this plan will bring boundless bracha to the world!
From 9am till 10am just one hour no to spk lashon hara!!
we all could do this! This is def. a way of showing Hashem that you are trying your best!!
pls let me know how you felt about this way of doing teshuva.
If you want to join the machsom lefei pls just send back a post stating that you are joining!!

we need each and every one of you to do something diff. this yr!! last yr. we had more than enough tzaros to wake us up!!!!!!!!!!!
pls. lets show Hashem that we woke up and we dont need any more tragedies to remind us that he wants us to change!!
START TODAY
WE ARE ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY!!!
Hashem is waiting to hear from you!

Two Inspiring Videos - Must Watch!!

Here are some videos you can watch to help you prepare for Rosh Hashana - watch them and use some free time to really think about the awesome day that is coming up! Your whole year is going to be decided on this day!!!! Every little bit of it!!! So when you watch these videos, think about all that happened this past year and how it is up to YOU to make this year a special one!!





Please pass this message on to your friends and tell them to come and watch these inspiring and moving videos!!!!!

Teshuva - A Poem

Hashem gave us all a very special gift,
And with it each neshama can get a lift,
It has awesome powers and teshuva is its name,
And without it our lives just wouldn’t be the same.

I have the ability to get rid of my aveiros from the past,
And even turn them into mitzvos that forever will last,
But of course I must make sure to do it right,
The three step process will turn darkness to light.

Because my neshama is a diamond shining so strong,
And it gets darker each time I do something wrong.
So the first thing to do to make it shine once again,
Is to verbalize and say, “I’ve sinned against Hashem.”

I must specify the aveiros I did, say them all out,
Hashem hears when I say them, there’s no need to shout
Just by saying them all, one by one,
The first step of the teshuva process is already done.

The next step is charata, to sincerely feel in my heart,
That the aveiros I’ve done made me move far apart,
From my Father in Heaven who loves me so
He gives and gives and never says no.

How could I be so ungrateful and do the wrong thing?!
He does so much for me, He’s my father and my king,
I feel so embarrassed to have done what I did,
And I hope to improve this year and become a better yid.

Feeling bad for what I’ve done is step number two,
And in the third step I must be earnest and true,
I will do everything I can to make sure,
That I will not repeat these aveiros anymore.

I will try to figure out what was the cause,
Of my feeling of carelessness to Hashem’s precious laws.
Yes now is the time to work on planning ahead,
And through this my aveiros will turn into mitzvos instead.

For there is nothing in the world that could be greater,
Than when someone does teshuva out of love for his creator,
So let us all grab the chance while Elul is still here,
And through doing teshuva may we all have a beautiful year!

May you have a year full of every kind of beracha,
And may you always feel content and always be b’simcha,
May you be able to serve Hashem with all your heart and soul,
And may we meet in Yerushalayim, the Jewish nation as one whole!!

The Interview

This is a beautiful and touching video! Enjoy it!

Connecting to the Right Source

What a great mashal - I got this email and wanted to share it with you!!

There is a story about a group of villagers who were touring the city of Tel Aviv. As the day was coming to an end they were invited to eat dinner at the mayor of the city. As they were about to leave, the mayor turned to them and said “I want to give you a souvenir from the city, did you see anything today that can improve your living conditions?”

One of the villagers spoke up and said “yes, there is something we really need, you see where we live there is no running water and therefore each day we have to carry buckets of water from afar. We place these buckets on camels and it’s a hassle… and in the city you have faucets! We would appreciate it greatly if you provide us with forty faucets one for each tent. This will help us greatly.”

The mayor of Tel Aviv quickly arranged for them to take back with them forty faucets. The Bedouins were extremely happy and couldn’t stop thanking him. When they got to their tents they placed the faucets by the wall and opened it… but no water came out!

They quickly called a plumber from the city to come and see why no water was coming out. When he came, he saw the faucets in each tent and started laughing. “How do you think water is going to come out of the faucet? The faucet doesn’t give out water, it’s only the means to get the water it must first be attached to a pipe that must be connected to a water source. And you, what did you do? You did not connect the faucet to a source of water, you just placed it by the wall and expected water to come out???!!!”

Many can not just be happy, they are under a lot of stress and pressure and every little thing bothers them. The remedy for this type of people is to connect to the right source and that is Hashem. Because He is the source of happiness. Just like a rechargeable battery that when it dies out we have to connect it to the outlet and recharge it again. But if we try to handle things on our own it will be as funny as placing a faucet inside the wall without connecting it to the source of water.
Remember Him at all times, mention and talk to him constantly, because He is always available. He will listen to you and answer you right away and then you’ll be flowing with lots of energy and brachos.

Teshuva - Don't Give Up

Now that we are in Elul and it's a time for all of us to do teshuva, I feel that there is something very important to remember.
There are so many areas in which we can all improve. I don't know if there is anyone who can say that they feel that Elul is here and they don't know what to work on.
If you need some ideas, here they are - working on anger, patience, respecting your parents and people older than you, shmiras halashon, judging favorably, saying brachos with kavannah, tefillah, noticing Hashem in your life more, thanking Hashem, complimenting others, spending time wisely = not wasting time, jealously and the list goes on and on...
Anyway, what I wanted to point out is that when a person tries to work on something and then feels like that specific thing they chose to fix is becoming soo much harder to do, here's what you can think of.
Here's the mashal: When someone is walking down the street holding a bag of garbage, he doesn't have to think for a minute that someone will rob him and try to steal his dirty bag. But when someone is holding a bag full of diamonds, he has to be careful with it and make sure that no one steal it! The robber wont bother chasing the guy who is on his way to throw out his garbage but he will look out for someone carrying those diamonds and jewels.
It works the same way with the yetzer hara - whenever he sees that you have something valuable to gain, that's precisely when he will go and "chase you" and make it hard for you to succeed! Only because he knows that you have something really great at the end, if he loses, that's when he goes and makes it hard for you! That's when it's worth the fight for him!
So when you are trying to work on something and that specific thing gets hard for you (like, you are working sooo hard on talking respectfully to your parents, why is it that today you feel this massive urge to answer back?!), just remember that the yetzer hara is putting up a fight because he sees that you will get major zechusim if you win!
So keep trying - especially when it's hard for you, because know that when you win, you will be on top and your reward is even greater than all the diamonds and jewels!!

Thoughts on Elul

I wrote this two years ago and passed it around as an email. I think the message is still so powerful and I hope you gain from it.

If your parents were to give you money to spend on whatever you wanted, there are a few things you could do.

Either you can buy yourself a present with the money they gave you. That would be very nice as that is what they had in mind when they gave you the money. They give you ten dollars, you buy yourself some pizza and ice cream. They give you more, you buy yourself shoes, clothing or a new book. They give you lots of money, you buy yourself something more expensive.

But even better than that, you can use the money they give you to buy them a present. That would be extra special because you are using the money you got to try and repay them for all the good they have given you. They gave you ten dollars, you buy them roses. They gave you more, you buy them a gift to enhance the Shabbos table. They gave you lots of money, you buy an expensive piece of silver.

But imagine if you were to take that money and use it against your parents. They gave you ten dollars, you buy yourself some fuel and matches and burn the house down. They gave you more, you buy yourself some other destructive device and cause untold harm. They gave you even more, you use it to pay for a car and crash into them and kill them.
Sounds ridiculous, no?!
This is what happens when we sin against our loving father, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. He gives and gives and gives to us. He doesn’t stop. And we have choices of how to use the gifts He has gives us.

We can use them to our benefit alone. We can eat the food he gives us and enjoy it. We can sing songs to ourselves and enjoy our beautiful voices. We have eyes, we can use them to read. We can use our ears to hear sounds and our lips to speak words.
But even better than that, we can use our talents to come closer to Him. We can't repay HaKadosh Baruch Hu for a bit of what He does for us, but we can give Hashem a present by using what He gave us to bring Him nachas and joy. We can say brachos on our foods or use our voices to sing songs that will inspire ourselves and others to come closer to Hashem. We can use our eyes to read stories and look at things that will bring Hashem happiness. We can use our ears to listen to words of Torah and use our lips to daven and sing Hashem's praises.

But when we use our body to sin against Hashem, we are giving Hashem a "slap across the face"!! Hashem gives us eyes and what do we do?! We read and look at things we should have never read and seen. We look at people with a jealous eye instead of fargining. Do we look into the siddur and the holy aleph bais when we daven or do we let our eyes wander around the room diverting our attention and getting distracted from our tefillah?!

We are blessed with the ability to hear and what do we use our ears for?! We listen to words of lashon hara and ona'as devarim. We listen to others complaining and then validate them instead of helping them realize that there may be another side to their story. Should we try to listen more when someone is trying to tell us something instead of interrupting them before they finish their thought?!

We were given the ability to speak. How careful are we with guarding our lips? Do we daven and bentch slowly and carefully? Perhaps we can start to say each bracha with more articulation, thereby enabling us to have more concentration when saying it. When we use our mouths and our lips to do aveiros, we are taking the gifts Hashem gave us and using them against Him! What could be a bigger insult to Hashem than that?! "I give you a gift and this is what you do with it?!" Do we want Hashem to chas v'shalom have to wake us up by taking away one of these gifts so we wont be able to use them altogether?!
We just started month of Elul. It is a time for us to really think. We should use this month to give Hashem nachas by showing Him that we are using every part of our body to serve Him. So work slowly. Take one part of your body and tell yourself, "Today I want to work on my brain. How can I fill my brain with positive thoughts and use my brain to get closer to Hashem?" Is this hard? Maybe. But think about the millions of things you can thank Hashem for. You will never get bored with these thoughts. Go through your body and start realizing how much is going on inside of you. Thank Hashem for your health and that your heart is pumping blood throughout your body... Thank Him for your family and friends. Thank Him for keeping you alive. You have so much to be grateful for! Just use your free time to think about all the things you can thank Him for and you will be serving Hashem with your brain!

You can use each part of your body to get closer to Hashem. It just takes a little bit of time and some serious thought. You can do it. Give it a try. See how it works. You'll be amazed by the feeling you'll have when you realize that you are able to use the gifts Hashem gave you to get close to Him. So instead of throwing the gifts He gave us back in His face, let us try to use them to come closer to Him and thereby merit the coming of Moshiach, where we will see Hashem face to face!!

Demonstrating your Love for Hashem

I mentioned before that Elul is an acronym for “Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li-I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me”. This teaches that Elul is a time of expressing love to our Creator and our Creator expressing His love for us. How is this love actually expressed?

Twice daily in Shema, we state the following mitzvah: “V’ahavta es Hashem Elokecha-and you shall love Hashem Your G-d.” The Gemara explains this posuk as follows: You express your love of Hashem by making the Name of Hashem beloved among people through proper conduct, conduct “b’nachas” with others. It is no small wonder then, that the yeshivos emphasize study of middos bein adom l’chaveiro (between man and fellow man) during the month of Elul. In fact, in Kelm, the yeshivah studied sefer Tomer Devora during this time, because this sefer emphasizes the love one must have for his fellow man. So by showing our love for Hashem’s creations, we follow in Hashem’s ways, and demonstrate our love for Hashem Himself.

Here is a practical Suggestion. Every day until Rosh Hashanah, practice love for your fellow man by doing kindness and favors, to the extent that you can. Open the door for someone walking in behind you, smile at people as you pass them...
I actually try to smile at people while I walk down the street and it's really funny to see some reactions. Some people stop and ask me, "Do I know you?!" and I say, "No! I'm just smiling at you! Hope you have a great day!" It's amazing to see the way people respond to something as simple as a smile! Try it out!

You can also try to give someone a compliment every single day. Here's a quote that I made up:
"A compliment a day goes a very long way!"
And it's so true! You never know how much a compliment can mean to someone. You can either compliment the outside (wow! I like your shoes/shirt/sweater/skirt/outfit/suit/jewelry etc...) or you can compliment the person (that was soo special of you!/I really respect you for doing ----/You are such a happy person!/I wish I can be like you etc.) Ask any person - they would much rather be complimented for who they are than for their outside - what they are wearing.

So try it out!

What are some other ways we can show our love for Hashem's creations, thereby showing that we love Hashem?

Rosh Chodesh Elul

Today is the first day of Rosh Chodesh Elul. But tomorrow is the first day of the month of Elul; today is the last day of Av. I was thinking about it last night and was wondering, why is it that every year, Av always has 30 days which means that there are always two days of Rosh Chodesh Elul?

Since Rosh Chodesh Elul is always two days, as soon as we hear it’s Rosh Chodesh, we have a day to think, “Oh! Tomorrow’s the first day of Elul! I better wake up and start to think about changing myself!” If Elul would have just one day of Rosh Chodesh, then we wouldn’t have that extra day as a reminder of what is coming and what is about to happen! That is such a chessed from Hashem – He is giving us a small wake-up call, a small reminder that Elul is about to arrive! Now it’s up to us to think about it instead of pressing the snooze button each morning, until we realize that Elul is almost gone!!

We know that Elul is a time for closeness and connection to Hashem, more than any other month. We’ve learned this since we were young - Elul is an acronym for, “Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li” I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me – we are soo much closer to Hashem this month. But do we really feel it? Will any of us wake up tomorrow morning and feel this unbelievable closeness to Hashem, like never before? What's the difference between today and tomorrow?

And I think that the answer is that it’s up to you. If you open your heart to let Hashem into your life, you will start to feel Him more. Yes, Hashem is closer to us this month – it means that it is easier for us to connect to Hashem this month, more than any other month in the Jewish calendar. If you want to get closer to your Father, now’s the time to work on it! But if ignore the fact that tomorrow is the beginning of a very special opportunity of closeness and connection to Hashem, then you can lose it!

R’ Shimshon Pincus zt”l gives a mashal: A husband and wife can have a beautiful relationship only if each one knows that the other one exists. If the husband goes about his everyday business without knowing about his wife, she can be in the house but if he ignores the fact that she is there, there is no relationship! And if she comes home and ignores her husband, doesn’t talk to him or acknowledge that he is there, there’s no relationship whatsoever! So the only way for us to have a relationship with Hashem is by knowing and realizing that He’s here, closer than ever before!!

And there’s something special about starting right away and building your relationship continuously. Just like you cannot compare an uninterrupted night’s sleep of 6 hours to sleeping for 3 hours, waking up for an hour and sleeping for another 3 hours (there’s something about the quality of sleep – ask me or any new mommy! ), you cannot compare a relationship of building one day and continuing to build on yesterdays achievements to an on-and-off relationship. This is what Hashem wants from you! He wants you to be consistent and He wants you to talk to Him and remember Him every day!

Tomorrow is the first day of Elul – give it a try and see how it feels to get close to Hashem.

But how does one get closer to Hashem?

One way is to notice the little thing Hashem does for you throughout your day and thank Him. An earlier post, Bringing Hashem into Your Everyday Life, speaks about thanking Hashem for the little things.

Another way is to use your free time to think about ways to improve spiritually. There are so many areas in which each of us feel we can improve (anger management, patience, tefillah, using our eyes the right way, brachos, judging favorably, smiling at others, making a Kiddush Hashem, speaking with respect to parents and elders...) and working on any of these things or on something you yourself know you need to work on will surely bring you closer to Hashem.

Any other ideas of how to connect to Hashem in the month of Elul, which starts tomorrow?

The Chinese Bamboo Tree

There are soo many messages to take from this clip:



There is so much going on beneath the surface! And even when things are tough and it looks like you just want to give up, remember to hold on strong because growth is on the way!!

When things are sooo difficult and it looks like things will never be good anymore, just remember that Hashem is there with you all along and very soon, it will happen!! Life will change for the better!
What an encouraging message!!

What other messages can you take from this?