Monday, February 13, 2012

Rejection Letters

Someone asked me to write a post about seminary rejection letters since they're going to be coming in the mail this week.

Of course it would be nice if we could all think positively and not even have to contemplate that fateful letter but let's face it-some girls may get it in the mail. And it's not only rejection from seminary you'll have to learn to deal with but throughout life, you will be confronted with rejection in different forms be it rejection from a potential job or a guy you were dating. And it's not easy.

I wrote a post a while back called Rejection-Strengthen Your Emunah.

Everything that happens to a person has a purpose. There is a reason for every single thing you go through, whether it's good or bad, whether it seems like a blessing or a curse.

When you get your letter in the mail, if you are rejected, (and I hope you are not!) the first thing to do is to let yourself feel. Let's be realistic-it hurts to be told no. Whether it's no to a high school, seminary, job or potential spouse, any no is painful. Before getting to the ideal, it's important to be real with yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get those emotions out. Go to your room and cry, listen to music, take out a notebook and write or call someone to vent. Do whatever works for you. Let it out and give yourself permission to feel so that you can heal.

Then, when you feel ready, you can focus on the ideal-the fact that there is a good reason for this even if you may not see it or understand it right now. It's something you may know in your head but it takes time until it gets to your heart and you really feel it.

There was a girl who was rejected from the seminary of her choice and was SO upset about it. She ended up going to a different seminary and became really close to one of the girls there...and ended up marrying her brother.

There was someone who did not get into the seminary she wanted to and stayed in America for the year instead of spending it in Eretz Yisroel. At the time, she was miserable about her decision but did not have a choice. During her year in seminary, she became very close to someone who helped her get a job as a teacher in a kiruv school for the following year. This was the beginning of some amazing experiences for her that completely changed who she was as a person and strengthened her appreciation for yiddishkeit.

This is something that may need some drilling but you should remind yourself that there IS a reason for this rejection. You may get to see it a few years down the line and you may never know why it happened. But there is a certain comfort in knowing that there is a plan and Hashem is doing this for your best.

Remember-be realistic. Let yourself feel. Don't expect yourself to think that "Oh, Hashem is doing this for my good" too soon. It's hard to get that no and it's hard to face it. It hurts because it makes you feel like you are not good enough. Don't let this no knock you down! You are still a good person. Just because one seminary didn't accept you into their school does not make you a bad person. You still have value and you still have plenty to offer to another place. Hold your head up high and hopefully something better will be waiting for you-wherever you end up going next year!


  1. thnxz aton!!! i just got my rejection letters and im gonna try 2 keep ur words in mind!!!

  2. nice blog this helps me view rejection in a different way!


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