Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tomorrow: My Brother's Yartzheit

My brother's 5th yartzheit will iy"h be tomorrow Wednesday, Yud Zayin Av, July 28th 2010. I wrote a few posts about the story and about him which you can read here, here, and here. I also wrote a poem about him which you can read over here. (These are long and detailed posts so you will need time and thought to read it properly.)

This year, I have another reason to be thankful (and sad...a little bit) because a little over a year ago, I was zoche to have a son and name him after my brother. We named him Shalom Baruch -Shalom was after my brother a"h and we added the name Baruch. It was very hard and emotional but at the same time it was comforting.

It was hard because I could just imagine how close my brother would be with my little son - he was so good with kids and he loved all the nieces and nephews. They would have been such good friends! I can just imagine Shalom a"h scooping up my baby and giving him a huge hug and kiss with the biggest smile on his face. But, it was not meant to be.

It was hard because naming my son after my brother a"h made it even more real in a deeper sense. It made it more concrete - that Shalom a"h is not alive and we are naming someone after him.

And I miss him.

But it was comforting. It made me feel so good to be able to name my child after my special brother. It gives some sort of closure in a way that makes me feel lucky that I was able to have a child that will carry on my brother's name. I want my little SB to know all about the things that made Shalom a"h so special so that he can try to follow in his footsteps.

Every year, when I get to the yartzheit, it's as if I get my own personal reminder that life is short. That I must take advantage of the time I have now and use my time wisely. That a person never knows when their last day will be and so they should take advantage of the time they have here and use every moment to the fullest.

We live in a fast-paced world. Cell phones and the internet make people so much easier to reach - text messaging, IM'ing, everything moves so quickly. We need to take a moment to STOP and think about where we are headed. We need to think about how we can use our time to accomplish and improve ourselves.

The internet is such a huge time-waster. You sit down at the computer to "just check your emails" and before you turn around, it's already so late and you wonder, "where did all that time go?"!! Because one thing leads to the next and someone sent you an email with a link and then you were on another site and remembered something else you wanted to do and you just get caught in this web (literally!) and slowly the clock just ticks (or maybe not so slowly) and then it's too late because you can't go back in time. And instead of using your time productively, you may have instead spent it browsing and shopping and reading things online...when instead you could have used your time for other things - like helping your family, spending time with friends (real time, not internet - chatting time!!), reading books, developing any talents you might have!!

There are so many things to learn from Shalom a"h - some messages you can take from this day is: Use your time wisely. Think of ways to make others happy. Go out of your way to do an extra chessed each day. Feel your neshama with soul-food every so often by getting inspiration.

And can I ask you a favor? If there's anything you can do l'ilui nishmas my brother, can you leave a comment letting me know that you did/will do something for him? It will really make a difference in my day tomorrow and comfort me - because I will know that he was not forgotten and that his neshama is going even higher and higher.

His name is Shalom ben Chaim Nosson.



  1. I'm going to try to work on my Kibbud Av V'aim tomorrow in the zechus of Shalom a'h.

    Yehi zichro baruch.

  2. I will try, bli neder, to make sure I help around the house today like by washing the dishes or folding the laundry which I know will probably make mother happy. I also hope to have a little more kavannah as I daven minchah.

  3. hadassah horowitzJuly 27, 2010 at 10:42 PM

    i will not start the IYH until i daven with kavana. will not turn on the computer and waste away precious time until i do avodas Hashem IYh.
    shalom A"H was my cousin.

  4. Bli neder will work on my kibbud em tomorrow by following up w my mom on lotsa things she asked me for help with

  5. tomorrow morning, i will make it my business to converse with my creator before getting distracted with phones, computers etc.

  6. I will try to have a little more kavanah in my shacharis and try at some point in the day to make that time productive

  7. I dedicate the 3 Shiruim that I am giving tomorrow L'Ilui Nishmas Shalom Ben Chaim Nosson

  8. I remember when it happened....can't believe it's 5 years already. I admire your strength in the face of this very difficult nisayon.
    I have taken upon myself something as a zechus for your brother today.

  9. In his zechus, I had someone answer amen to my brachos this morning

  10. I want to thank each and every one of you for taking something upon yourself so that Shalom's neshama could go higher. Your comments really mean a lot to me and my family - I printed them out so I could show my mother and she was really touched too!

    tem-thanks and amen!

    luv-wow, thank you!

    hh-thank you and thanks for the most beautiful email you sent!

    Anon 1,2 and 3-your mitzvos are so precious! Thank you!

    shayna-I'd love to hear the shiurim you gave. Do you have copies for me?

    SIR-Yes, time really does fly! It's hard to believe it's 5 years since Shalom a"h was niftar. Thanks for your kind words and for taking something upon yourself.

    Anon-thanks to you too!

    May Hashem bench all of you to never be in such a situation and may you only have simcha and good things happen to you in your life!

  11. i was on a trip in eretz yisroel and i spoke all about my special brother shalom!! we all said our brachos out loud and got many many amens:) we had about 25 girls saying brachos and amen!!! since its soooo easy to do!!!!then i went over to one of the waitresses her name is Rayut,who is not frum yet and asked her to make a bracha and to say amen to my bracha as a zechus for his heilige neshama!! she was soooo into it!! she said many amens!!! i felt like shalom was there encouragng her to really be into it!! we also went to kivrei tzaddikim and i davened for him by each one!! when we got to rebbi akiva it felt sooo diff. bec i knew that just like rebbi akiva left this words with shema on his lips so to shalom left this world with shema on his lips!!!!so when i went to daven there it felt like something super special!!
    we went to the kevarim of rebbi yochanan ben zakei and the rambam.. it was soooooo awesOME!!!!

  12. someone who really admires you foreverAugust 9, 2010 at 4:44 AM

    guys we are soooooooooooo lucky to have this tzadekes deviory who is making sure every day to update this site so that we could be inspired!!! devoiry you are my role model for life you live every min. of your day with the thoughts in your head how can i bring more nachas t hashem by helping every one of his children the second they need it!! your son shalom baruch is the luckiest to have such am mommy like you who taught him from the sec. he was born how to live a life full of kedusha and simcha!!! he will beezras hashem be such a nachas to the world and carry shaloms great name bec of the chinuch that he is getting at home from when he was a new born!!!
    your beyond words!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Chaya Sara, I thought the exact same thing when I was in EY davening at the kever of R' Akiva...that he left this world with shema on his lips and Shalom a"h did too!

    Welcome back!!!


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