How i saw hashem during my surgery!!!

hey im back!!
i just want to share with you how i saw hashem during my surgery, when i went into surgery this past week i was terrified i could not believe that i was going into the operating Room. I started shaking and flipping out. i did not think i was going into such a huge room i thought that theyll put me into a reg. room. When i saw the operating table i thought wow!! this is not just a night mare that i am having, its real!! oh! no! i wanted to just run out of there faster than i could think! guess what i couldnt i had no choice but to go onto the table! my heart dropped;(
My tzadekes sister wrote in the past blog (thank you sooo much devoiry!!)
but i want to share it with you from my perspective!
i was so scared that the nurse did not know what to do with me she goes, "how old are you?" i said 28 she says,"come on get on the table!! " i said its not about age..... it was a real nightmare for me!! Help!!! i knew i had to think of something quick in order to give myself strength.
My mother told me to think of these warm and touching words HASHEM LI LO EIRA as i go into the room. hold onto hashem you have no one else who can help you at this moment of time!!
I had a choice to either be angry at hashem that I had to go through such a scary procedure or i could turn to hashem and ask him to help me!!
i chose to turn to hashem cuz what will it help being angry then you just loose everything!!
Hashem promises you that if you ask me to help you i will take care of you cuz noone else can only me!!
so i said to hashem pls give me strength to go through this and come out a better person from it! hashem you are the only one who can help me now! pls. hold my hand Hashem!! dont leave me here its only me and you and the doctors!!
once she got me to sit on the table she says one min. ill be right back she runs off and tells me, "here look what i have for you, a warm delicious blanket straight out of the dryer!" i could not believe it!! HERE IN FRONT OF MY EYES I SAW HASHEM!! HE WAS SENDING ME A WARM HUG FROM HEAVEN!! COULD I ASK FOR ANY BETTER??!and then she ran and got me a thick fluffy pillow. she said they never give out pillows only for me! WOW I AM COUNTING MY HUGS FROM HASHEM!!
so as soon as i felt comfortable they were ready to put me out!! finally the real action was about to start and ill be out so no more noise in that room from me!!

now i learnt so much just from the beg. of my surgery the end of it will be alot more!!
I will share with you rest of the story on the next blog
what did i learn just in the beg.
when things dont go the way we want them to we tend to get upset and we cant think straight anymore... so i have a choice my mother always tells me this " YOU CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE AND MAKE IT BITTER OR BETTER JUST CHANGE ONE LETTER!!''what does this mean?? you can become closer to hashem or further and its all in your hands!! if you make it better you will feel hashem so much closer to you!!
so i chose to make every moment of my life meaningful and better this way i will be constantly looking out for the good that hashem does for me!! i watch ppl live and get so angry at hashem when things dont go the way they want i could have done that tooo for what??? why not use this time to talk to him and tell hashem i need you!!
once you do that you are on the best path and hashem will hear you and take care of you!!
just one last thing we need to rem. that we live in a microwave world where we see results in sec. we have no clue how to wait for things but we must rem. that hashem does'nt work on fast forward WE MUST BE PATIENT!! YOU WILL GET TO SEE RESULTS SOON JUST BE PATIENT!!
may you be zoche to see hashem in your life cuz you will invite him in. he is waiting to hear from you!!