This was posted once before but it's a good one and I wanted to put it up here once more so you can gain from it.
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it keeps you going but gets you nowhere."
I was thinking about this when I was worrying about something. I kept thinking, "what if this happens?!" and "what if that happens?!" and then I said to myself, "You know, there are so many things that could go wrong but don't and all you have to do is put your trust in Hashem. Hashem loves you and only has the best things in mind for you. All you have to do is believe in Him." I had to keep thinking these thoughts and reminding myself that I am totally in Hashem's hands. Hashem loves me and wants to keep me happy so why should I worry so much? And besides, it's true that worrying won't accomplish anything productive at all! All it does is make you nervous. And that wont really get you very far!!
So why do I worry so much? I think it's because I need to strengthen my emunah in Hashem. Because if I really trusted that Hashem only wants to make me happy and only wants to do good for me, I wouldn't worry so much. In fact, I wouldn't worry at all!! Now, it's easy to say that I shouldn't worry at all, but there are things on my mind and I do think about the things that could go wrong in my day, in my week ahead and in the month that is coming along. But no! Hashem does not want us to spend our time worrying and thinking negative thoughts. He wants us to think positive and trust in Him. Thinking positive is very productive because then you want to follow your thoughts.
It's like this: If I wake up in the morning thinking, "Oh no! It's raining outside! It's gonna be a horrible day..." then, yes, chances are that my day wont turn out so nicely. But if I wake up that same morning and say, "Modeh Ani! Thank you Hashem that I am alive and healthy! Hey! It's raining outside! I'll take an umbrella and I'll be fine." The rain didn't go away but my attitude is what will make all the difference!
So next time you have thoughts that make you nervous, think about the rocking chair, it just moves back and forth, back and forth...but doesn't get you anywhere! That's what worrying is like, it keeps you thinking those same, "what if" thoughts again and again but you end up in the same place, without moving at all!
Read the comments on it too. Last time I posted it some questions were answered there!
He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you - Do not let this chain of love end with you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
What a powerful story indeed. As the old saying goes “What goes around comes around”
As I sat there, thinking of the giving and receiving story, I realized that the concept is so easy and simple to follow. What I have to do is to open my eyes wider and seek for opportunities where I can be of help to someone, anyone today. Be it a kind word, or just merely a smile; a pat on the shoulder or just simply a phone call. I want to be Bryan Anderson. I really do. Now, let me ask you a question: Don't you want to be one too?
Thank you Shaina R. for emailing this story to me.
Here's a great video from aish called Valentine's Day, Every Day.
I'm not sure why but this video is not showing up in Google Reader. Come directly to the blog to watch it. Trust me, it's worth it!
It gives across such an important message! Why should we have ONE DAY a year to express our love for the people who are important to us? Shouldn't we do that every day?
Every day, we thank Hashem for all the things He gives us - from big to small. In shemona esrei, we thank Him for things that seem so basic, almost like they're a given. I once read that when you thank Hashem for giving you knowledge (in the bracha of ata chonen l'adam da'as), you should thank Hashem for the fact that you remember your own name and where you live! Who would even think of that - it seems like, of course I should remember where I live and what my name is! But no! It's not a given, it's a gift!! And you have to constantly thank the One who gave it to you!
In the birchos hashachar, we thank Hashem for our eyesight (pokei'ach ivrim), clothing (malbish arumim), waking us up in the morning (matir asurim). Thanking Him for little things are really important - because they are not so little after all! There is no one day in the calendar to express our appreciation to Him for all the things He gave and continues to give to us; we utilize every day, every tefillah to thank Him for what we have!
And it's the same thing with human relationships. If there's a special one day a year to express our love for the people that mean the most to us, what about the rest of the year?! It's important to show our appreciation to our parents, spouse, children and friends all the time! By telling them thank you for the little things they do - which really are not so little (do you know what it takes to have supper ready for the family? Or to keep the house clean? or to think of that perfectly thoughtful birthday present?), you are showing them that they are important in your life and they mean a lot to you!
Expressing appreciation to those who are closest to you does not have to be exclusive to one day in the calendar. Celebrate Valentine's Day every day!
Here's a beautiful video - now listen to the words of the song...the sound of the boys high pitched voice make it so much more touching!!
Here are the words of the song, Daddy Dear.
Daddy dear, tell me please Is it true what they say In the heavens there's a cup That gets fuller each day And I've heard that Hashem Keeps it close nearby And He fills it with His tears Each time that we cry
Zeidy told me, Daddy dear Did he tell you the same That when sorrow strikes His people Hashem feels all the pain Tell me why does He cry Far away in the sky Tell me why, Daddy dear Are there tears in your eyes
Little one, little one It is true, yes it's true Zeidy told me years ago And his dad told him too Fathers cry for their children And Hashem does the same When we hurt, so does He Yes he feels our pain
Tears of pity from His eyes In his cup sadly flow Till one day when it's full All out troubles will go We will dance, we will fly In the sky like the birds And I cry, little one 'Cause I'm touched by your words
One more question, Daddy dear Answer please if you will Just how deep is this cup Tell me when will it fill Don't you think it is time That the sun forever shine Don't you think it is time Dear Daddy of mine
Little one, it is time And I've questioned that too So Let us ask Him together Together me and you Father dear, do You hear Our worries, our fears Will your eyes ever dry Is your cup filled with tears
I posted this a while ago and wanted to share it with you once more.
I was recently at a bris and heard a very powerful thought from R' Viegler that I wanted to share with you.
Yishmael had a bris milah when he was 13 years and Yitzchok had it when he was just 8 days old. If you think about it, which one seems greater, the one who had it when he was an adult and was able to understand what was going on or the one who had it as a newborn baby and had no say in the matter? I'd say for sure the adult who agreed to have a bris milah at 13 years of age, with all that it entails! A baby doesn't even realize what is going on and doesn't give his consent to what his parents do. And why is it that we give our children a bris milah when they turn 8 days old? Shouldn't we wait until they are old enough to understand and agree that this is what they want to do? Won't their reward be so much greater?
To better explain this, let's try to understand what the difference is between Yishmael's doing a bris at 13 and Yitzchok at 8 days. Yishmoel says, "You see, I'm so great! I tell Hashem that now that I am old enough to understand your ways, I am ready to do this special mitzvah." In essence, he is saying that as long as he understands the reasoning behind a mitzvah and it all makes sense to him, he will do it.
Yitzchok, on the other hand, says, "Hashem, you are so great and there is no way I can fully understand the things you do. Therefore, I am willing to go through the bris milah at such a young age, an age where my mind is not mature enough to understand why I am doing it. And this is the message of my life. I will do mitzvos because I love you and because you commanded me to, not because I understand the reasons why you told me to do them."
This is the message that we wish to convey to our children when we do the bris at 8 days old. You may not understand why we do it but you must remember that this is the essence of a Jew. Although we don't always understand the reasons for why Hashem does things, we will always believe in Him will full faith that He has the best in mind for us. We do the mitzvos because He commanded us, not only because we understand. Because if we only do mitzvos because we understand them, what will happen when there is something we don't understantd? Will we stop? No! Because we don't work that way! We do things out of love for Hashem, love for His Torah and mitzvos! We are so lucky to live this way!!
That is not to say that we cannot ask, that we cannot try to understand. On the contrary, the questions we ask and the answers we get deepen the love we have for the mitzvos and make us fulfill them with more enthusiasm. (I even wrote a post about that here.) But we have to realize and appreciate that we do the mitzvos because Hashem commanded us to, even when we don't know why. What an important message to give over to our children!
Watch this video and think about the fact that Hashem runs the world and can give you anything! Every little detail of your life is planned by Him! So when something goes wrong or there's something you really want, ask Him for it!
Nothing is too big or too small for Him to do! (Note: If you are reading this in google reader and it does not show up, please come directly to the blog to watch the video.)
I also think it's adorable to see what little kids ask for - the innocence of a little child, to know that you can ask G-d for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING - from making friends to (my favorite) owning Toys R Us!!
The Chofetz Chaim provides an astonishing mashal which we can and must each learn from.
A man of great wealth sent two different representatives to purchase precious stones for him to a far away land. To one, he gave 1,000 gold coins, and to the other he gave 100 gold coins. Both were sizable sums, but the greater amount was entrusted with the more responsible sh’liach.
The representatives went on their way together, proud of their assignment and determined to do well. Their spark and ambition began to give way towards their own personal needs, and they realized that they could ‘live a little’ by spending just a little bit of the money with which they had been entrusted. After all, they would be certainly be able to easily make up the money spent with some wise purchases at the end of their destination and they needed to take care of themselves today.
It wasn’t very long before the 1,000 gold coins became 200 in the hands of the first agent, and the 100 dwindled to 40 in the hands of the other. Both began to get a bit nervous, and their jitters suddenly exploded into a reciprocal ranting.
The more entrusted one yelled: “How can you compare yourself to me?! You have only 40 gold coins to your entire name and I have five times as much!!"
To which the lesser agent responded: “What an incredible fool you are! What are you boasting about! Those 200 gold coins are not yours, you are only a sh’liach who has been entrusted with the money to bring back gems. In fact, you are much, much poorer than me, for I spent 60 coins of our sender’s money but you squandered and owe him a whopping 800!! You are going to have a lot more of explaining to do! I don’t envy at all the shame and disgrace that you will face and the heavy price you are going to have to pay for your enormous derogation of responsibility!”
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The nimshal is stark and clear. We here in this world are all sh’luchim, agents of Hashem from the higher worlds, entrusted with a mission to rectify and cleanse our souls - each in accordance with the level of wisdom and responsibility which Hashem has placed within us.
It would be ridiculous for a person to consider himself superior to his friend, or in any matter be haughty - for his wisdom, wealth or talent is not his - but was given to him for a special and dedicated purpose - his unique and singular mission in life.
A person must exercise great care to fulfill that mission with that which he has been equipped - for if one acts responsibly, it is truly a real and attainable goal. Along the route, one must be especially careful not to allow himself to be sidetracked with the wiles and guile of the Yetzer Hora-allowing this indulgence after that desire, this hankering after that immoderation - none of which disappear after ‘their use’ but instead continuously pile up into what can mount into an embarrassing and unexplainable heap and mess.
One must most certainly appreciate the hours that he has each day for Torah and Tefillahand not allow them to be squandered, unaccounted for, or spent away rather than serving their purpose. Each day, and the precious hours that it is comprised of, can go far in taking those gold coins one has received and fulfilling their entrusted mission - practically, meaningfully and successfully!
Here's a question someone asked: I just can't. I flip out when I hear stories lo aleinu like I'm hearing daily lately…young couples getting divorced, peoples parents dying, young people getting sick right and left…the list is endless and its almost so normal that it doesn't pull at anyone’s heartstrings anymore. But what is Klal Yisroel doing wrong? There must be a reason. I know we are supposed to always see the blessings Hashem gives and I do. He gave me an awesome life with tonz of blessing and strength to handle any hardship. So I know we have to look at all the good but all these messages are not meant for us to ignore. How can I also stop myself from thinking worried negative thoughts when I keep on hearing these tzaros of yidden?
Yes, your question is a real one. People are dealing with crazy amounts of pain these days. It's so hard to understand it all.
It doesn't mean that the entire nation is at fault. Of course every person that hears about a tzarah should take a message from it and see how they can change. But we are living in a time filled with pain - not because we are doing terrible things and Hashem wants to punish us. It's because we are so far away from Him - we are on a much lower level than the generations that came before us. And Hashem wants to be closer to us. He wants to be connected to us. So He sends us situations that make us turn to Him. He wants us to relate to Him on the closest possible level! How will that happen?
We are a generation that is blessed with so much good! Hashem has given us all the conveniences we could ever hope for! Washing machines, sinks that bring us water the second we turn the knob, refrigerators, freezers, cell phones, stores overloaded with so many choices of foods, drinks, snacks and treats...the list goes on and on. We have so many things that should make us turn to Hashem and thank Him. The very things that should make our lives stress free and give us MORE time to spend on spirituality and growth keep us so busy we don't even have an extra minute! We don't have to go down to the river to wash our clothes - we just pop them into the washing machine and some forty-five minutes later they come out sparkling clean. Then we just throw them into a dryer and another hour later everything is dry and ready to be folded and put away!
But instead of having more time to spend getting connected to Hashem, we are busier than ever. So how does Hashem remind us that He exists? By sending us pain. By telling us, "I love you. I want to connect to you. I want you to talk to me but you are too busy."
It's not that our generation is bad. It's that we are too busy with other things so we need more reminders. Hashem loves us all. He wants to hear from us. It's known that when things are hard it gets us to turn to Him.
If we were all to turn to Hashem and thank Him every time we hear good news, maybe He wouldn't have to send us so many painful situations to get us to connect to Him!
Also, when you hear that other people are going through hard times, it is a chance for you to daven to Hashem to beg Him to give them the strength to go through it and to help them come out of it stronger!!
One of the great ironies of modern times is that man isn't happy. Throughout almost every strata of society and every segement what you find is that people seem to be down, stressed, pushed to the limits and running on empty.
If we were to describe our wealth to people of a different generation, they probably wouldn't believe us. Kings in prior times didn't enjoy the luxuries that we do. The reality is that we are wealthy beyond belief. We enjoy comforts and abundance that are historically unprecedented. And it's not just the extremely affluent. The average tax-paying citizen of today lives in opulence and splendor that previous generations couldn't dream about.
We Have Arrived - Are We Happy?
In short, we are wealthy beyond belief. We have riches that far, far exceed our needs. As a society, as a nation, and as individuals, we enjoy prosperity and abundance. We benefit from creature comforts that were unthinkable a generation ago. Everything is so readily available, so accessible, so easy. And so I have one question: now that we have so much, are we happy?
For centuries, all that man desired was freedom from tyranny and a homeland where he could enjoy liberty and safety. Armies went to war for it, entire generations sacrificed all that they had for it, and we now have it. We are there. We have finally arrived. Living in a free society with almost unlimited opportunity, we are easily able to find sustenance and enjoy unheard of wealth; we have it all. But are we happy? Now that we are there, is it all that we thought it was? Is this the dream that we were seeking? Are we any happier today than our ancestors in previous generations?
Drinking When You Are Thirsty
In a memoir written many years ago, a teenager describes what life was like for him growing up in the 1920's in the deep South. Hunger was a part of life; it was just a given. He got up in the morning hungry, and went to bed even hungrier. Often, he left home in the morning without eating breakfast, because there was no food in the house - literally nothing to eat.
One morning while walking to work, he passed a neighbor's house and noticed that the garden hose was left out. He turned on the spigot and began drinking and drinking until he filled his belly, hoping to stop the hunger pangs. It worked. His stomach no longer grumbled for food...till the water passed. Then he was left hungrier than before.
For many people, that is life. They feel emptiness inside, a longing for something. What it is they can't quite tell you, but it gives them no rest. They try to fill it with money and honor, possessions and luxuries, all the while hoping it will satisfy that void inside.
But it doesn't work. For a while they are distracted, for a moment their attention is diverted, but then the quiet time comes again, and they find themselves as empty as before. And the worst part is that for the life of them, they can't figure out why. "I have so much, yet I feel so poor! What's wrong with me? What's wrong with life?" The problem is that they are trying to fill their souls with things that sparkle and shine, but are as fleeting as fireworks on the fourth of July.
The neshamah within me isn't satisfied and can't be satisfied with anything so cheap, so she calls out for more. Instead of heeding her call, many people try to fill that vacuum with more glitter and gold. But the nishamah isn't impressed. So while they fill their bellies for a time and forget their pain, that gnawing hunger comes back to haunt them even more acutely than before.
I Need More
"But what's wrong? What am I missing? I thought I had it all. I guess I just need more." Then in a headlong rush to quell that vacant feeling inside, they pursue careers and promotions, honor and prestige, acquisitions and hobbies, distraction after distraction, running, running, running - anything, just to not think about the emptiness inside. From cars to homes, planes to cruises. Buy a boat, then a yacht. Next a Rolex, then a Rembrandt. Luxuries, parties, extravaganzas... anything, anything to fill that void inside. But it never works. They wake up in the middle of the night and mouth the words, "There has to be more to life than this."
There is. There is so much more. But if man doesn't search for it, he won't find it. And if he doesn't find it, he is destined to be miserable. To achieve happiness and peace of mind, man has to know that he has a soul, and then he has to know what it needs to be satisfied.
