Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What Are We Doing Wrong?!

Here's a question someone asked:

I just can't. I flip out when I hear stories lo aleinu like I'm hearing daily lately…young couples getting divorced, peoples parents dying, young people getting sick right and left…the list is endless and its almost so normal that it doesn't pull at anyone’s heartstrings anymore. But what is Klal Yisroel doing wrong? There must be a reason. I know we are supposed to always see the blessings Hashem gives and I do. He gave me an awesome life with tonz of blessing and strength to handle any hardship. So I know we have to look at all the good but all these messages are not meant for us to ignore. How can I also stop myself from thinking worried negative thoughts when I keep on hearing these tzaros of yidden?

Yes, your question is a real one. People are dealing with crazy amounts of pain these days. It's so hard to understand it all.

It doesn't mean that the entire nation is at fault. Of course every person that hears about a tzarah should take a message from it and see how they can change. But we are living in a time filled with pain - not because we are doing terrible things and Hashem wants to punish us. It's because we are so far away from Him - we are on a much lower level than the generations that came before us. And Hashem wants to be closer to us. He wants to be connected to us. So He sends us situations that make us turn to Him. He wants us to relate to Him on the closest possible level! How will that happen?

We are a generation that is blessed with so much good! Hashem has given us all the conveniences we could ever hope for! Washing machines, sinks that bring us water the second we turn the knob, refrigerators, freezers, cell phones, stores overloaded with so many choices of foods, drinks, snacks and treats...the list goes on and on. We have so many things that should make us turn to Hashem and thank Him. The very things that should make our lives stress free and give us MORE time to spend on spirituality and growth keep us so busy we don't even have an extra minute! We don't have to go down to the river to wash our clothes - we just pop them into the washing machine and some forty-five minutes later they come out sparkling clean. Then we just throw them into a dryer and another hour later everything is dry and ready to be folded and put away!

But instead of having more time to spend getting connected to Hashem, we are busier than ever. So how does Hashem remind us that He exists? By sending us pain. By telling us, "I love you. I want to connect to you. I want you to talk to me but you are too busy."

It's not that our generation is bad. It's that we are too busy with other things so we need more reminders. Hashem loves us all. He wants to hear from us. It's known that when things are hard it gets us to turn to Him.

If we were all to turn to Hashem and thank Him every time we hear good news, maybe He wouldn't have to send us so many painful situations to get us to connect to Him!

Also, when you hear that other people are going through hard times, it is a chance for you to daven to Hashem to beg Him to give them the strength to go through it and to help them come out of it stronger!!

I hope this helps you!


  1. It bothers me when people hear about something bad that happened, and they immediately decide why it's happening and what we need to improve. I don't think any of us knows why Hashem does what He does.
    But that's a good point about davening. It's a reminder to turn to Hashem.

  2. I agree with MW - we can't possibly know why. We can, however, use tragedy as a tool to help us in our own Avodas Hashem. When we hear of something bad, lo aleinu, it's an opportunity to look at our own performance of mitzvos and improve it.

    Maybe it's saying brachos with more kavannah. Or standing in one place while saying Asher Yotzar. Or refraining from Lashon Hara for an hour a day.

    We should always turn to Hashem, but we can, and should, also examine how we can do better.

  3. MW & Rivki-Ultimately, we do not understand the reasons why Hashem does things. But we live in a generation where people want to know, want to understand and do not stop asking WHY things are happening. We have to try to give answers to those who ask!

    Yes, we can try to understand a little bit but we MUST remember that at the end of the day, the ways of Hashem are beyond our comprehension.

  4. When you left the shiva, my sister asked who you were, because your words of nechama were truly comforting. (You spoke about "Hamakom" bringing us comfort by filling the hole in our hearts.) Thanks so much for your words of comfort. May we know of no more tzaar.


  5. Chan-I don't know if you'll come back to read this but I want to thank you so much for your comment - that is the greatness of a Jew! Even in the midst of their own pain, they remember to thank those who comforted them!! Wow!!

    May Hashem comfort you and your family and all those people who are mourning and waiting for moshiach!


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