Milestone-Thank You!

I just want to thank each and every one of you for visiting this blog and continuing to read on a constant basis. It is only because there are people out there reading what I write that I continue to post things as often as I can. Today, this blog has reached a milestone of 10,000 visitors, people who want to learn more, grow and change. What a nachas ruach to Hashem, how much He must be smiling up there when He sees that His children want to do the right thing and what to become better!!

Think about how much my brother, Shalom a"h is smiling in shamayim when he gets little present boxes of zechusim sent up to him so he can go higher and higher in gan eden! This is all from you, the readers, who are growing and gaining from this blog. The more you read and get inspired, the higher he goes! What a nechama!

It is a true inspiration to see that so many people are looking to grow and looking for ways to come closer to Hashem and I am so happy that I am able to help you along. I hope you all continue to gain from this blog and I am able to continue providing you with inspiration for a long, long time.

Thanks again for visiting and please keep coming back!

Focusing on Doing Good During Elul

What things should you do during Elul to make this month a productive and accomplishing month, so that you can look back at the end of the month and say, "Wow! I really changed!"?

The thing to focus on now is asay tov - doing good things before you focus on the sur may'ra - refraining from doing bad. This means that you should concentrate on doing all the good things you are doing each day and just add a little something to make it even better.
(From: Leket Reshimos on Elul - R' Nosson Meir Vachtfogel)

Here are some suggestions:

When it comes to davening, you can try to daven with a little bit more kavannah than usual. Look into your siddur. Say the words a drop slower than usual. Say them loud enough so that you can hear each word that you say. Sing a song that will inspire you before you start the next part.

If you are walking down the street or in the grocery store, look out for opportunities to help other people. Hold the door open for others on your way in and out. Offer to help someone find a specific item. Smile at the woman ringing up your purchases. Help someone carry their bags to the car. Put your shopping cart back where it belongs. Do these things with a smile.

Help your mother out cheerfully. Ask her what she needs before she asks you. Or better yet, do it without being asked. Be extra kind to your siblings. Speak softly even when they are getting you annoyed.

Walk into work every day for the next week (or more, if that's possible) with a smile. Say good morning with a happy tone of voice and facial expression to your coworkers. Try to be extra pleasant when talking on the phone to clients and take the extra moment to think about them and what you can do to help them in the best way possible.

Before you eat a meal, be it breakfast, lunch or supper, look at the food you are about to eat and thank Hashem in your heart for giving you so much bounty-so many choices of foods, so many colors and tastes. Then, after you thought about it for a minute, go ahead and make the proper bracha. Putting those extra seconds of thought into it just before you eat your meal can help you have real kavannah when you make a bracha.

On your way out of the bathroom, think for a minute about how lucky you are to be able to go by yourself, without the help of anyone, without needing machines hooked up to your body. The fact that your body works so well on it's own is a real, true miracle! So take those extra 20 seconds to say the words of asher yatzar slowly and carefully!!

Before you leave your house in the morning, look in the mirror and ask yourself do I look good? What does good mean? YOU and only you can define that word.
Are you neat and put together? Are you walking outside and making a kiddush Hashem with the way you dress, the way you walk and the way you talk?

Throughout your day, look out for ways to do little things - little things that will make a big difference in the lives of other people and in your own life. Now that we are in Elul, it is time for you to focus on being proactive, on doing as many positive mitzvos as possible so that you can tip the scales in your favor. Hashem is here! He is close to us! He wants to give us all the brachos and good things!

It's up to you to make it happen. By concentrating on how you can improve the things you are doing one little notch, one level higher, you can make this year a good one.

yerushalayim is where we belong pls daven for us to return!!

Your Personal Gift of Time

We have so much time during the day
Are you one of those who lets it waste away
Or do you try to take advantage and say
I'd like to accomplish come what may

Time slips by so quietly yet so very fast
Before you know it a few hours have passed
Make each moment eternal, make it last
By grabbing each opportunity that flies past

There is so much you can do to use it well
With a smile you can answer the ringing doorbell
Thank your mother for supper when delicious it does smell
Offer to help someone if you notice they fell

When you wake up in the morning
And the alarm clock so loudly does ring
Praise to the One Above you should sing
"Modeh Ani" you say to your Father, your King

While a healthy breakfast you do eat
It shouldn't be too difficult a feat
To have extra concentration for your treat
By mouthing the words while you sit in your seat

On your way to work or school or camp
Think thankful thoughts, soon you'll be a champ
It will lift your spirits instead of being damp
Appreciate all you have - you'll shine brighter than a lamp

Wherever you go, try to greet people with a smile
It will surely be worth your while
When walking down the grocery aisle
Or bumping into a parent or child

To try to have a happy face
Because you are in a public place
People want to see you react with grace
They enjoy pleasant people no matter their race

While you stop with someone to schmooze
Or at the store buying new shoes
Having positive facial cues
Can uplift someone who has the blues

If during the day you do find
Boring thoughts occupying your mind
Think of ways you can be kind
Spread goodness and warmth to mankind

Think of how you can help someone out
I'm sure they'll appreciate it without a doubt
Instead of getting annoyed or having to pout
A great big thank you to you they'll shout

If you try to think of how you can
Always come up with a plan
To use your time wisely - be a man
Do the best you possibly can

You will feel better about who you are
You will be able to go very far
Aiming higher and reaching for the stars
Improving your middos so they're up to par

There's so much more that you can do
Think about it-you know it's true
So spend some time thinking how YOU
Can improve and come closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu

Always Watching

We are now right at the start of Chodesh Elul. It’s the beginning of a big month, a month that we all hope to fill with change and growth. Change does not happen on it’s own – it’s something that requires work, time, thought and effort.

I learned that the Jewish calendar year can be compared to a spiral staircase – although we have the same yomim tovim every year, we are (hopefully) climbing higher and higher every time we reach that point in the calendar. The year goes in a circle and we come to the same spot again every year but we hope that this year we are at a higher level than we were on last year.

It is a very big challenge to keep climbing and going higher. It can be compared to standing on an escalator that is going downward. If you do not make sure to step up, you will automatically be going downwards. It's a climb! But it is definitely worth it when you reach the top.

One way to make sure you utilize the time during Elul to the fullest is by thinking shivisi Hashem l'negdi samid - (I always have Hashem before me) as many times as you can throughout your day. This pasuk is so powerful and can change the way you act at any moment.

For example, if you think about this pasuk on your way to work/school/camp activity, you can try to come up with ways to bring Hashem into your day more. If you are about to make a bracha, this can help enhance your kavannah. Thinking about it can cause you to refrain from negative speech because if you remember that Hashem is watching you, you will not want to do the wrong thing! When you are faced with a decision and are unsure what to do and this thought comes to mind, it will surely help you gain more clarity.

Give yourself a time during the day when you will think about it - at least once. It can be while you eat breakfast or lunch, before you check your emails or even while you are on the phone with someone. You can let this pasuk go through your mind when you have some quiet time in middle of your day.

There is a famous story about the Chofetz Chaim who had hired a wagon driver to take him somewhere. While they were passing a farm, the driver abruptly stopped the wagon and climbed down in order to steal something from the farmer. He left the Chofetz Chaim in the wagon as a lookout. As the driver embarked on his mission, the Chofetz Chaim called out: "He's looking!" The driver raced back to the wagon, spurred the horses to a vigorous gallop and made his getaway, the Chofetz Chaim in tow.

When they had gotten a safe distance away, the wagon driver turned to the Chofetz Chaim and asked, "Who was it that saw me?" The Chofetz Chaim gestured upwards and said, "He sees everything."

Yes, we all know Hashem is always watching us and sees everything we do.
But how can we make it more real to us?

By thinking about this pasuk, shivisi Hashem l'negdi samid more often during the course of your day, you will be more aware of Hashem's presence in your life. This will help you think twice before you act and help you make the right choices - positive choices.

Hatzlacha!

Inspiration gained from this post should be a zechus for the aliyas neshama of my friend's mother, Ruchama Rivka Sondra bas R' Yechiel whose forth yartzheit is tonight and tomorrow, Beis Elul. May we soon be reunited with the coming of Moshiach and techiyas hameisim!

Rosh Chodesh Elul

Here's a link to last year's post on Rosh Chodesh Elul.

There is so much to accomplish this month-may you all be able to have a meaningful and productive Elul so you come into - and out of - the yomim nora'im clean and pure!

The Fox and The Vineyard

Tonight is Rosh Chodesh Elul. We are about to enter a very important time in the hebrew calendar, a time of closeness and connection to Hashem. Think about how lucky you are to have an opportunity to come back to your Loving Father! He gives you so many chances to come close to Him and show Him that you really want to do the right thing-by thinking about what you have done and how you want to become better.

There's an amazing mashal I want to share with you.

A fox passed a vineyard full of delicious grapes and wanted to eat some of them. However, there was a fence enclosing the vineyard that blocked him from going in. He did notice that there was a small hole in the fence and if he would fast for three days, he would be able to squeeze in and eat the grapes. So that is what he did.

After three days, the fox was skinny enough to make his way through the hole. He feasted and enjoyed all the grapes in the vineyard and when he was ready to leave he realized that he would not be able to get out because he ate too much and gained too much weight! So once again, he fasted for three days and only then was he able to get out of the vineyard.

The fox then realized that he did not gain anything from the vineyard because he left the same way he had gone in. We have to ask ourselves the same question-will we leave the world the same way we went in or will we have things that have true value to take along with us. Elul is a time to ask ourselves these questions - what are we taking with us into the new year? What mitzvos and good deeds do we have to show for ourselves?

Each one of us is put into this world and there are so many temptations and things that look exciting - but we have to remember that we are in this world for a purpose, not just for the materialism and we need to focus on the things that last.

This past shabbos, I heard a continuation of this mashal.

There was a smart fox who watched what the first fox had done and said to himself, "I will not be a fool like this one." And here is what he did. After fasting three days so he could get through the hole in the fence, he ate and enjoyed the grapes. In the meantime, he threw a whole bunch of grapes over the fence so that when he gets out of the vineyard, he will have more grapes to eat. So even though he had to fast to get out, he thought ahead and saved for the future.

The woman who I heard this mashal from gave an interesting twist on the nimshal.

Elul is coming. It's a hard month but it is a very rich month. There is so much to gain from what comes after it-the yomim nora'im, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succos. Some people are like the first fox and they leave the yomim tovim the same way they came in. The day after yom tov you wouldn't even know that they experienced such awesome days. However, if you want to be like the smart fox, you need to throw the grapes over the fence, you need to prepare properly and think ahead so that you will come out of these days enriched and a better person.

Elul is a very big month. There is so much to gain and so much to achieve. Now that we are entering such a crucial time in our calendar, it is up to us to use our time well and take advantage of the closeness we have with Hashem.

Let's think ahead so that we use each day to the fullest so that when we come out of Elul, we can say that we didn't just eat the grapes but we saved some for later - so that we can take the inspiration we get from Elul and the yomim tovim that come after it and come out a truly changed and better person!

Never Too Busy

Tefillah is something we try to do every day. Some people have time to daven with a siddur every day and others simply daven in their own words.

How can we add some more excitement to our davening?
One important thing to do is recognize what an amazing opportunity we have to be able to daven to Hashem and speak to Him at any given moment. He is always available for us and never too busy!

A Jew was seen davening with exuberant joy and enormous ecstasy in the back of the shul. No one knew who he was and people assumed that he must be a visiting tzaddik who understood the depth of meaning and mystical association of each word in the siddur.

After davening, the Rabbi welcomed him as befits a personage of distinction. “No, Rabbi,” he said, “I am but an ignorant tailor who can hardly pronounce the siddur correctly.”

“But,” the Rabbi asked, “How do you experience such enormous kavanah and simcha shel mitzvah?”

He replied, “I feel overflowing happiness in the realization that my station in life so low that no one bothers or has time to listen to me. I said “Good morning” to Reb Shmuel, the banker, in the street this morning and he didn’t turn to acknowledge my existence. I stopped Reb Dovid, the judge, to tell him something. He told me to make an appointment with his secretary. Even here in shul, the shamesh doesn’t know my Hebrew name so he doesn’t give me an Aliyah. No one bothers to take note of me.

“But when I wrap the talis around me and recite the words of the siddur, “Baruch Atta…,” addressing the King of Kings of the Universe, I have the assurance that He is listening to me. Reb Shmuel, Reb Dovid, and the shamesh wouldn’t bother with me but the Melech Ha-olam, the Sovereign and Creator of the Universe hears my prayers, should I not feel most privileged and fulfilled with ecstatic joy? This is the source of my exuberance."

This is what you should realize when you open your siddur to daven! You don’t have to make an appointment to speak to Hashem; He is always ready and listening to whatever you have to say. Thinking about this for a moment before you open your siddur to daven will add a feeling of excitement and joy to your tefillah.

If you are someone who doesn’t have the time to take out a siddur, or anyone else who takes advantage and speaks to Hashem throughout your day, this realization should have a special meaning to you. At any time during the day or night, you can talk to Hashem in your own words. If something is bothering you or something good happened, take the time to talk to your Loving Father! Tell Him how you feel! You are not interrupting Him – ever! He is not on the phone, in a meeting, in middle of texting a friend or checking His emails. :-)

How lucky we are to have the opportunity to talk to Hashem at any time!

Building Patience

I wanted to share an incredible lesson that can be learned from Pirkei Avos of last week.

Chazal teach (Avos 5:2) that there were ten generations between Adom HaRishon and Noach in order for us to understand the degree of Hashem’s Erech Apayim, Hashem’s patience - for ten generations acted wickedly before Hashem brought the Mabul to the world. The very next Mishna (5:3) then continues that there were ten generations from Noach to Avrohom Avinu so that we could, once again, see the degree of Hashem’s patience, in forestalling taking a Mabul-kind of action against the people until Avrohom Avinu came and single-handedly saved the world.

There is a profound lesson to be derived from the juxtaposition of these two Mishnayos.
If we see Hashem’s great patience in forbearing punishment for ten generations before bringing the flood, why do we need to hear about His forestalling for the same number of generations the second time as well? What does it add for us?

The answer provides us with a significant instruction for daily life.

Even if one has worked very hard at controlling himself, at building his patience, at being calm and not angered, there may come a time with respect to a particular person or event in which he fails to restrain himself, and lets out his frustration on a particular person or the people around him. Once this has occurred, one can well rationalize that his Middah of Erech Apayim can (and perhaps even should!) in the future be compromised as to that person or those people - for, after all, he has already tried to be complacent and accepting, tolerant and calm with them, and his attempt at composure and equanimity had failed because the conduct or the situation could simply be tolerated no longer.

Such could be the rationale of an employer vis-à-vis a particular employee, a husband regarding his wife (or vice versa), a parent with his child, a customer with her cleaning help or her customer service representative, or between two students, two neighbors or two friends.

The Mishna in Avos, however, has us appreciate how Hashem Himself dealt with a very similar situation. After ten generations of waiting, Hashem had to bring a flood on the world to allow the world to start again rather than self-destruct forever. If, however, after the flood the people reverted in some way to evil again, one would think they would have only a generation’s chance or two, but ten generations again?! They had already proven themselves to be undeserving, ungracious and intolerable. There was no need to exhibit patience and control to the same degree the second time as the first time! After all, this was a repeat offender!

No, says Hashem, whose Middos it is our life’s goal to emulate, one’s patience is not peeled away and worn thin because of a past history, frustration, exasperating annoyance, an irritating personality or irksome manner. Rather, the same ten generation wait the first time must be true the second time as well. The prize for the Erech Apayim - for the unrelenting perseverance, for not succumbing to all the evil perpetrated by him or her, them or they, was Avrohom Avinu who saved not only his generation but the world and world history forever.

It is no coincidence (as it never is) that this lesson appears and reverberates particularly at this time of year, when we must bone-up on our ability to be Ma’avir on our Middos - to overcome the situations and events, personalities and people who or which have proven themselves to be difficult, thorny, trying , exasperating and even infuriating. Even if the Mabul did come, Hashem teaches us that we must start again at generation one the next time around as well. Impatience does not gets accelerated, and composure must reign, just as it did the first time!

Perhaps the ten generations are the source for the advice to count to ten before saying something that you may regret, taking action that is usually not part of your personality or otherwise losing your mental processes, poise or self-control. Try starting by giving everyone a second chance this week (if you have to start somewhere, start with family) for by having done so, you will have given yourself a second chance as well!

Taken from today's Hakhel post.

Don't Give Up

The Vilna Gaon gave a mashal that can be applied to many areas of Avodas Hashem.

Once there was a girl in the marketplace selling apples.

Some thieves came and started stealing apples.

She just sat and gaped at them.

Someone came over and said, "Don't just stare, Stop them!"

She said "Why should I? They're just continuing and doing it anyway."

"Don't be foolish" she was told "Save whatever you can!"

The same is when we are trying to daven and we didn't manage to have Kavanah for some parts of the Tefillah. We shouldn't give up; we should instead at least save whatever we can!

If you are in middle of davening and realized that you already said so much of it without any thought, at least grab on to whatever you still have-whatever is still left of your tefillah.

If you are in middle of bentching and spaced out a little, continue wherever you are up to with some extra thought and concentration! It's never too late-as long as you are still in middle you can have kavannah and think about the words you still have left to say!

The same is with anything we are working on, even if we fall a little, the key is to not despair, but rather to still hold on to whatever we do have and build on it more and more!