A Lesson in Parenting

There's always a first time, right?

But to me, this little encounter was surprising and upsetting at first; it was enlightening and empowering at the end.

I was in a toy store with my baby and I was bouncing him up the steps in the stroller. In the past, any time I was in a public place with a staircase and my baby, someone offered to help me.

When I went to shul for a kiddush and was bouncing the stroller down the steps to the simcha hall, someone offered to help me.

When I was walking up the steps to a friend's house and someone saw me with the stroller, he offered a helping hand.

And this time, this woman watched me bounce up the steps one by one and waited patiently as I slowly made my way up the steps. She followed along with me, but didn't gesture or offer a helping hand.

It was surprising, but I continued on my way as she conversed with her little girl about the toys in the shop. 

A few moments later, I watched as her daughter bumped into a box from a neatly stacked pile of toys and continued on, without turning back to pick up the box she knocked over. My own little girl rushed to straighten out the boxes.

Okay, it happens, I thought to myself.

But when that happened a second time, I wasn't so sure. When the same girl casually continued looking at the toys on display after knocking something down a second time, I knew this wasn't a coincidence.

And I thought about it.

I realized how much power and influence we parents have over our children.

Children learn more from what we do than from what we say.

When we model good behavior, they will follow in our ways.

And when we model carelessness and disregard for another's feelings, our children will do the same.

It's not her daughter's fault that no one ever taught her to look out for other people. She was just following what she saw from her own mother.

Now, I'm not judging this woman and there can be numerous reasons for why she didn't offer to help.

Maybe she has back problems and can't lift anything heavy.

Maybe she has other health issues that would prevent her from offering the specific type of help I could have used.

But after seeing this young girl exhibit the exact same carelessness as her mother, I took this very powerful and empowering message for myself as a parent.

We can tell our children all the right things.

We can lecture them about how to act in private and how to behave in public.

But the most profound way to teach them is by modeling the behavior we want them to emulate.

We can tell them not to yell at their siblings when they're upset, but if we yell at them when we are angry, what will they learn to do? We need to work on ourselves to maintain our own inner calm, even when we're stressed, annoyed or angry. 

We can speak about the importance of honesty, forgiveness, responsibility and all the other good virtues, but the best way for them to really internalize their importance is by modeling honesty, by being forgiving and taking responsibly for our actions.

They will learn to trust in Hashem and to believe that everything that happens is for the good if they see us responding to difficult situations with words of emunah and faith. With actions that show we believe Hashem runs the world and we have faith in Him. 

It's in our hands to help the next generation acquire the skills they need to navigate the complex world we live in. We can help them succeed by working on our own selves.

May we be able to do the hard work so we can be in the best place possible on an emotional level, on a spiritual level and on every level in between. And may our children follow in our positive ways.

A Stabbing

A stabbing
In Monsey
Leaves me shaking
Quaking
There's this
Unsettling
Feeling
Inside of me
And I want to do something!
Anything
To protect myself
And my family
It's getting too close
Too close to home
First Jersey City
Now Monsey
It's too scary
And I'm scared
Scared for
My safety
Scared for
My family
Scared for
My Nation 
The Jewish People
I want everyone
To be safe
I have ideas
I have plans
Things to do
Things not to do
We can't lock ourselves
In our houses
In our homes
This is crazy! 
Our homes are not safe
The streets are not safe
This world is not safe
And I want to protect myself
And all those close to me
So we won't be touched
By this unseen force
Of destruction 
Of death
Of hatred 
And suddenly 
It hits me
I need to give up control 
To the One who controls everything 
I never had control 
Over my safety 
And security 
In the first place
Hashem controls
It all
He controls 
Whether I wake up every morning 
He controls 
My every breath
And He controls 
Who walks the streets
Who pulls the trigger 
He controls 
Who pulls out
A machete
And He continues 
To protect us
To watch over us. 
We don't understand 
We don't have to 
Understand 
His crazy plan
It's too big
For our little brains
To understand 
But we must
Strengthen our trust
Pray for those who are hurt
And hope
For their healing
And hope 
For our safety 
All the while
Remembering
Internalizing 
That He is the one
Who controls it all. 
Hashem...? 
Please
Heal those who were hurt
Protect us all
And keep us safe
Bring us 
The ultimate safety 
And security 
Under the wings of
Your shechina.

Watching from the Window

Every morning, as I walk my daughter to the bus stop, I wave to the crossing guard who stands at her post across the street from my house.

“Have a great day!” I wish her as I walk back to my house to get my little boys ready for yeshiva. Since they have a direct ride to their school, they don’t have to be walked to a bus stop. They wait right outside my house until their ride comes.

I used to stand outside with them and wait together with my little baby, waving them off to school every morning. But now that the weather is colder, I don’t want to take my baby outside. So I stand inside my warm house while my boys don their coats and knapsacks and I watch them go from my post at the window.

I wave to them as they get into the car.

I blow kisses to them as they close the car door.

I send up a little prayer as they drive off, asking Hashem to give them a good day. They should learn well, have a good time with their friends and come home safely.

One day, as I watched them from my spot at the window, I saw a strange man walk over to them and start talking to them. My heart stopped and I ran to the door, opened it and yelled out, “Is everything okay?”

The man looked relieved. “I just saw two little boys standing outside by themselves so I got nervous.”

“I’m watching them from the window the whole time!” was my response.

Phew. That was a little scare.

And I thought to myself, No one else can see me watching my children as they wait for the car to come pick them up, but I am there. I don’t leave my spot at the window until they are safely in the car and on their way to school. Does the crossing guard who watches all the little children walk to school and wait for buses and car rides know this? Does she know that I don’t take my eyes off my boys for even a moment?

And then I realized, Isn’t it the same with Hashem? He is always watching us. Always watching over each of us with the same love and care that I watch over my children. And although we can’t see Him, we know He is there. Peeking through the windows of the Heavens, coordinating events in our lives so everything happens with such precision and accuracy.

Sometimes, we are lucky enough to see Him so clearly, and it’s like we can wave back to Him and say, “Hashem, I know that was you! Only YOU could have made all this happen to me.”

But when we don’t see Him, we still know and believe that He is watching over us.

Just like I watch my children from the window.

May we be able to feel Hashem watching over us every day of our lives.

Succos-It's Temporary

Succos
We leave our homes
For a smaller home
Outside
Exposed to the elements
Aren't we always exposed?
Hashem knows everything
All our thoughts
We can't hide from Him
We can face Him
We can embrace Him
And remember 
That just as our home
Is temporary 
And after eight days 
In this temporary abode
We go back 
Back to our comfortable home
We will all one day 
Leave this world
Our stay here
Is temporary 
We aren't here
Forever
Let's use our time
In this temporary world
To do things
Actions
Good deeds
That last
Forever
That leave
An everlasting impact
On those around us

Elul - More Time

I'm posting this here again because it's such a good message.

I got a ticket.

For an expired meter.

I was frustrated and upset. 

I rushed out of a store after waiting on line for way too long and saw the two police officers...slowly walking away from my car. There was the familiar orange color of the ticket tucked into my windshield. I ran.

I ran after them. 

I begged and pleaded with them to please take the ticket back, do something, anything so I wouldn't have to pay the money.

"Buy a new one," one of the police officers said. "There's nothing I can do, but quick, buy a new meter card and I'll explain..."

"But..." I stammered

"Just buy it-if there are six minutes between the time on the ticket and the time on your new meter card, you..."

I didn't listen to the rest. 

I got a quarter, quickly put it into the machine and checked the time. It said 2:13pm.

I grabbed the orange ticket and compared the time. I was "caught" at 2:09pm. My new meter card showed four minutes after the time the ticket was issued.

I waited for the policeman to explain the rest, while trying to calm my pounding heart.

"Now you have a way out," he explained. "Since there are less than six minutes between the time you were ticketed and the time on your new card, you can now fight the ticket. There is a six minute grace period...and you can say that you were in middle of getting a new card and you had to get quarters from your car and during that time you got a ticket."

I'm not sure about the lying part and making up a story, but if there is a way for me to get out...if the judge will give me six minutes of time...I will not have to pay this ticket. I am grateful.

Rosh Hashana is almost here.

We feel so unprepared.

What?? Elul passed already?

It's been almost 30 days...what do we have to show for ourselves?

But Hashem is a Ba'al Rachamim.

He is not out to get us. He doesn't want us to trip...to fall...to have to pay for our mistakes, for our negligence, for our lateness.

And so we were give the gift of Teshuva. And the gift of time. And more time.

When we repent, show real, true regret for the things we may have done wrong, the good things we should have done but never did, the lost opportunities, the mistakes we made, Hashem listens.

He is aware of the circumstances that may have caused us to fall. And unlike the police officers who didn't care about the long line that caused me to be delayed by a few minutes, Hashem understands and takes all those "excuses" into account. 

When we are sincere about the kind of person we wish to become, Hashem hears.

When we ask Him to help us change, because it is just too hard for us to do it alone, Hashem listens...and He will help us.

But more than that, Hashem blessed us with time...and more time.

Yes, the meter is running out, but we can "buy another card." After Rosh Hashana, we are given ten days, the aseres yimei teshuva and after that we have Yom Kippur.

Look at how much rachmanus Hashem has!

He keeps giving us more and more time to do teshuva and come closer to Him!

That is not to say that we should push it off to the last minute (even though the last minute is almost here!). We should utilize the time we have now to think. Think about the past year...and the coming year...and the brachos we would like to see in our lives...and the changes we would like to see in ourselves...and start now. 

We may feel discouraged by the fact that so much time has passed and we haven't even made a dent in the changes we wish we could make, we didn't use Elul much...and we went through our daily routines without even thinking about teshuva. But we should not dispair! Just like when the meter was out, instead of slowly strolling back to my car, I RAN, we can all run now. Instead of sauntering through the next few days as if we don't have a care in the world, let's show Hashem how becoming the person we want to be is important to us. Let's show Hashem that we want to change, we want to become better, different, elevated, spiritual, growing people. 

Let's use the little time we have left to think about the past year...the things we did that we wish we would never have done, things we may have read, watched, listened to, spoken about...and let's think about ways we can put up safeguards so that we don't stumble every time. Yes, we may fall, but falling is part of the process of growing. And like a trampoline, realize that sometimes we can jump even higher because of our downs, because of our falls. It is all part of the beauty of spiritual growth.

Change isn't easy. But we are given another gift-the gift of tefillah. And we can ask Hashem to help us become the person we dream of becoming. It may seem far off...but with baby steps, we can get there.

Thank you, Hashem for the gift of teshuva. Please help all of us use whatever time we have left until the yom hadin to utilize that gift...to the fullest!

Parshas Eikev

Moshe Rabbeinu tells Bnei Yisroel not to be afraid of conquering the land of Eretz Yisroel. And if they do start to feel scared or nervous, they should think back to the miracles Hashem did for them when they left mitzrayim. They will realize that just as Hashem helped them in the past, He will continue to help them fight these battles and take over the land.  

In life, we are sometimes afraid to look ahead. We don't know what the future will bring and we don't know how we will overcome our battles. We need to fortify ourselves with emunah and remember the times Hashem helped us in the past. When we think about other times Hashem helped us pull through, we will feel strengthened and know that He will help us this time too. 

May we hold on to our faith in Hashem at all times, by looking back at the times Hashem helped us and staying confident that He will be there for us in the future!

Parshas Va'eschanon

When Moshe Rabbeinu speaks to the Jewish Nation before his death, he tells them that we will do aveiros and we will be sent to galus. But, Hashem will never forsake us as a nation and we will ultimately do teshuva and return to Hashem.

While we are in this galus, we may go through times where we feel lost and alone. But we must remember this promise. Hashem will never abandon us! He will never forsake us! And if we use what we are going through to return to Him and to come closer to Him, we will add meaning to our life and purpose to our pain.

May we be able to keep growing and keep coming closer to Hashem as we bridge the gap between us and our Father in Heaven!

Tisha B'Av

During the nine days, the rules we keep are similar to the halachos of someone who mourns the loss of a close relative. We don't listen to music and we don't wear fresh clothing. 

But on Tisha B'av, the mourning intensifies to another level. We don't eat or drink, we don't wear leather shoes and we don't greet people with a warm hello. When someone loses a loved one, they don't have an appetite and they don't feel like greeting everyone they meet. They miss their relative and nothing else matters!

This is why we fast.

On Tisha B'av, we mourn the loss of the closest relationship we once had with Hashem. How can we eat when we are so far away from the ideal lifestyle? We use the sadness of the day to propel us to make better choices so we can experience that same closeness once again.

May the confusion and distance we live with be replaced with clarity and closeness as we do everything in our power to bring the Geula!

Parshas Devarim

Moshe Rabbeinu speaks to the Jewish Nation before he dies. He spends five weeks telling them all the things they will need to hear before their new leader, Yehoshuah, will take over.

While we don't like to think about death, all of us will one day leave this world. While we are still alive, we can think about what kind of messages we are leaving for those around us by the things we spend time doing, the way we act and the words we say. The interactions we have with others really do leave a memorable, lasting impact on our friends and family. 

May we be able to utilize our time while we are still alive to impact those around us in positive ways and act as a role model for spiritual growth to all those we come in contact with!

Nine Days

We are now in the nine days. 

Unfortunately, we are so distant, so far, many of us don't even connect to what we are supposed to be mourning for. So we go through the motions, we don't wash our clothes, we take lukewarm showers and we don't eat meat. 

Yet, we look out for gourmet dairy recipes. We shop for the finest ingredients so our final product with be tasty with an exceptional presentation. 

We even send jokes about how hard it is to manage for nine full days without meat. (Two of those days happen to be shabbos this year). 

Seriously?! Jokes?

I get that we want to have good food and we want it to look and taste good but are we really going to joke about how difficult it is to manage for a week without any meat? That we can't barbeque? 

We don't get what we're mourning about. We don't grasp the enormity of the loss. So chazal instituted some external signs of mourning so we shouldn't forget that we should be sad about something.

You want to really feel it? Open up a shir hashirim and read about the love between Hashem and His Jewish Nation. Read about the bond we once had, the connection we are aching to have again. Learn what it means to be really close to Hashem, as close as a husband and wife who love each other more than anyone else in the world. 

This is the love Hashem has for us! This is the connection He wants to reestablish with us! 

But we are far too distracted to notice. We are busy mourning our week without meat instead of mourning what we really lost.

Let's stop for a moment. 

Ponder our lives. 

Think about what we're missing. 

Think about the lack of clarity. The lack of morals. The lack of understanding. 

And daven for the day when we will be reunited with a true bond of love and affection to the One who is waiting to show us just how much He loves us.

Parshas Matos-Masei

The Parsha lists the many places the Jews traveled to while in the desert in great detail. We know that there is no extra letter or extra word in the Torah so this detailed list is all the more significant. Every stop the Jews made in the desert was important and worthy of being mentioned.

In our own lives, we may not know why we have to go through certain things or why we have to make specific stops along our journey, but we do know that there is a reason for every single step of our journey. Each thing we go through, every person we meet, every place we end up at, is important. There is a reason and a purpose for it all.

May we be able to utilize the stops along our journey for growth and personal development and leave a positive, lasting impression on each person we meet along the way!

Parshas Pinchas

After he is told that he will not lead Jewish People into the Promised Land, Moshe Rabbeinu asks Hashem to appoint someone to take his place. Hashem tells Moshe that Yehoshua will be the one to lead the Nation after he dies.

Just like Hashem would never abandon His nation and leave them without a leader, Hashem would never abandon any one of us. He already has the salvation in place before He gives us a challenge. We can strengthen ourselves with this truth by noticing that when we are going through something difficult, Hashem sends a messenger, someone to give us advice or support to help us get through that tough time.

May we be able to help our friends and neighbors when they are struggling and always stay strong in our faith that Hashem has a salvation ready for us before He sends any challenge our way!

Parshas Balak

Balak tried to get Bilam to curse the Jewish People but he was unsuccessful. After three times of trying, he realized that Hashem was the One controlling what came out of Bilam's mouth and he gave up. 

In life, there are many things we try to do. Sometimes they work out immediately and we see Hashem's hand. Other times, we keep trying and we aren't successful. We need to strengthen our emunah and remind ourselves that Hashem orchestrates every detail of our lives, from the words that come out of our mouths to the bigger results of our efforts. We should remember that everything that happens is for our ultimate benefit. 

May we be able to keep trying when things are rough and stay strong in our belief that everything Hashem does is for our good! 

Parshas Chukas

After Miriam was niftar, the Be'er Miriam dried up and the Jews complained that they were thirsty. Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock but instead he hit it and water came forth.

When we want something from someone, we can speak gently and with kindness or speak harshly and use force. Using force might get us what we want, but not in the way we want. The person may give in, but their feelings towards us will change. The better way is to speak softly and with sensitivity. The person will be more receptive to what we are saying and this interaction will bring the person closer to us instead of create distance between us. 

May we be able to use a more gentle approach when speaking to those we care about so we can bring them closer to us with every interaction we have!

Parshas Korach

When Korach organized a rebellion against Moshe Rabbeinu, accusing him of assigning power unfairly, Moshe suggested that they wait until the next morning for a sign from Hashem to determine who was right. After each group would bring a ketores, a fire would come down from heaven and burn the offering of the either his group or Moshe's group. He wanted to wait so Korach would have time to think and hopefully, he would change his mind.

We see how important it is to wait a little bit when someone is angry. A good resolution can't always be reached immediately because when people are heated, their emotions take over. Once some time passes, even just one night, it may be possible for both sides to hear each other more openly and logically and work towards a peaceful compromise. 

May we be able to give people who are really angry time to calm down so we can keep all of our interactions peaceful! 

Parshas Shelach

Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu to send a group of spies to look at Eretz Yisroel before the Jewish People would enter the land. 

The spies are interpreted to mean something very personal. Spies refer to foreign thoughts, things we think others are thinking about us. It's not easy to overcome negative thoughts that sneak into our heads. Yet, when we are confident that what we are doing is right, we don't need to worry about what others are thinking. We can be who we are and act in the right way without looking over our shoulders.

May we be able to send away the spies, the negative thoughts, and through this may we achieve many great things! 

Parshas Beha'aloscha

Parshas Beha'aloscha ends with Miriam getting tzora'as. While the entire nation waited for Miriam, her brother Moshe davened. What was his tefillah? 6 words. Ana Kel Na, Refah Na La-Please Hashem, heal her. He davened a short tefillah because so many people were waiting. 

We learn from this that tefillah, chessed and spiritual growth are important but should not be done at the expense of other people. Yes, it's nice to take on extra levels in our yiddishkeit, but we need to be considerate of those around us and make sure our growth isn't causing others discomfort. And while chessed is a big mitzvah, we need to make sure our own families aren't losing out because of it.

May we be able to find the right balance when we are growing and doing good, so we are happy and those closest to us are happy as well!

Parshas Naso

The Isha Sota was taken to be proven as guilty or innocent only after she was warned not to associate with a man she had previously been seen alone with.

We see that accusing someone of doing something wrong is a huge responsibility. We must have clear evidence before approaching someone. Additionally, it is so important to give a warning. This gives the person a chance to fix themselves instead of falling at the first sign of misconduct. If given in the right way, the warning can show we believe that the person can do it right next time!

May we be able to show others we believe they can do better instead of jumping at them with accusations the first time they act wrongly!

Parshas Bamidbar

The shevatim who encamped near Aharon and Moshe were known for their Torah knowledge and spiritual greatness, while those from shevet Reuvain were negatively influenced by their neighbor Korach.

We see how important it is to be surrounded by good people. We should stick around people who will influence us in a positive way and who will lift us up. We can also look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "Would people want to be around me? What kind of impact do I have on those I come in contact with?"

May we be able to affect others in a positive way and may we always be surrounded by good people!

Parshas Bechukosai

Hashem promises that if we follow Him and do the mitzvos, we will be blessed with peace. We will lie down at night and will not be afraid because we will have inner peace.

How can we achieve an inner sense of calm? When we are satisfied with the things we are doing with our lives and we are living with meaning, we will feel good about ourselves. When we make a difference in the lives of others, we feel peaceful and whole on the inside. And when we strengthen our belief that Hashem is running our lives, we can stay calm even when things are difficult or stressful.

May we be able to feel an inner sense of peace by choosing to live a life of meaning and internalizing that everything that happens to us is from Hashem!

Parshas Behar

The mitzvah of Shmittah is in this weeks Parsha. The farmers who keep shmittah face major challenges of emunah and bitachon-how will they have the money they need if they aren't working? They become more selfless and generous when they allow people to take from their fields. By exercising their spiritual muscles, they become stronger in their avodas Hashem. 

Our spiritual challenges enable us to reach higher levels. Next time you are struggling, remind yourself that it is through THIS challenge that you can become better. Realize that each time you overcome a challenge, you climb up a level...and every little step will get you closer to your goal!

May we be able to strengthen ourselves to overcome our spiritual struggles and always keep growing!

Food

Why is it that before we eat, we feel tired and hungry yet after we eat, we feel energized and ready to take on the day?

Think about it. Who is the only One who gives a person energy and koach? 

It's Hashem. The source of life. So inside every morsel of food that we eat, there's a small piece of godliness that enables us to become reawakened and reenergized after we consume that food.

So when we eat food, we are also ingesting a piece of Hashem!

It sounds like an incredibly high level to attain and internalize. Yet, if we eat mindfully, slowly chewing and swallowing the food in front of us, we can think, Hashem, there's a piece of your energy inside this bread I am eating. Thank you for injecting it inside this food. And please allow me to have the strength to do whatever I need to accomplish today through this meal I am eating.

This is how we can elevate our food to a very high level. Let us direct our thoughts to what is going on inside of our foods and the Godly energy our bodies are absorbing!

(R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l)

Pesach Sheini

Today is Pesach Sheini.
We remember this day that was given to those who weren't able to bring the korban Pesach in Nissan. They asked for another chance and their request was granted.

Sometimes, we are too quick to say something won't happen or we won't be allowed to do something. And so, we don't  bother asking. 

We see that it is so important to ASK. Make that request. Ask for a raise. Find out if that person is willing to help out. Don't stay stuck in a situation just because you're afraid to speak up. The key to change might just be to ask for help.

May we be able to find the courage to speak up when necessary, and see positive results when we do!

Enjoy your matzah!

Parshas Emor

There is a special mitzvah for a farmer to leave the corner of his field for the poor man when he is harvesting his crop. He demonstrates his awareness of Who blessed him with this good and shares it with those who are less fortunate than he is.

When we are blessed with plenty, we should remember those who aren't as fortunate as we are and share it with them. And while we think of giving in terms of money, there are so many ways to give. We can give our time or our knowledge, a listening ear or a compliment, encouragement or good advice. Some forms of giving don't have a price tag but they're worth more than all the money in the world!

May we always be on the giving end by sharing whatever good we have with others - from money to talents and everything in between!

Parshas Kedoshim

There are many mitzvos in this week's parsha. One of them is the commandment not to take revenge. When someone does something that causes us pain, we are told to refrain from hurting them back. 

When we go through physical, emotional or financial pain in our lives and we know exactly who caused it, it's easy to blame and want to hurt back. If we remind ourselves that no one can cause us any pain unless Hashem allows it, we can stop ourselves from wanting to get back at them. Each person is a messenger from Hashem and for reasons we may not understand, we were supposed to go through this exact experience. 

May we be able to strengthen our belief in Hashem so we can overcome our desire for revenge!

Parshas Acharei Mos

After Aharon's sons died, Hashem clearly states what should be done so something like this won't happen again. 

We see that it's so important to be clear with others when something is bothering us. If someone hurts or upsets us, they can't read our mind! When we express our feelings with sensitivity and speak openly, we give the person an opportunity to fix what happened. Only then can they figure out what can be done to make sure it won't happen again.

May we be able to fix relationships that need to be fixed by speaking openly, with sensitivity and care so that we become closer to those we love most!

Parshas Metzorah

If someome got tzora'as on the walls of their home and they ignored it, it spread to their clothing and then to their skin. It didn't go away until they dealt with it by approaching the Kohen and taking the steps to get rid of it.

When we try to sweep issues under the rug, they don't go away. They continue to spread further until we are forced to face them and deal with them. It takes strength to acknowledge when something is wrong and courage to do what it takes to fix our problems. But then we get to a place of healing and we can put our past behind us, growing and changing into better people.

May we be able to look at our lives with honesty, and have all the strength we need to make positive changes so we can heal, improve and look forward to a better future!

Parshas Tazria

When someone had tzora'as, he showed it to a Kohen who would declare that he was either pure or impure. Why did he have to ask the Kohen? Why couldn't he look and decide for himself? It's because a person can easily see all kinds of blemishes except for their own. For this reason, they had to have an outside person, a Kohen, look at them and establish their status.

It's so easy to look around and see what other people need to fix, what character traits other people need to work on. Our avodah in this world is to look inwards and to work on ourselves, perfecting our middos and refining our character.

May we be able to focus on our inner selves and make positive changes instead of looking at what other people need to fix!

Parshas Shemini

The pig is non kosher even though it has one of the qualities of a kosher animal. When it stands, it sticks out its split hooves as if to show off and say, "Look at me! I have one sign!" 

Hashem has gifted each of us with many things. We shouldn't feel the need to flaunt the good we have. When we are satisfied with our blessings and acknowledge that our talents come from Hashem, we won't need to show off. We can feel grateful and even share the good we have with others!

May we be able to use the good we have been blessed with to bring happiness to other people and never feel the need to flaunt the extras that we have!

Parshas Tzav

The korban todah was given to express gratitude to Hashem. It had to be eaten on the day it was sacrificed. It couldn't be left to eat for the following day. 

We should not wait to show people our appreciation for the things they do. When feeling grateful, we should express it right away. We never know when our last chance will be...and we don't want to look back and regret the things we never said. 

May we be able to be open and expressive to all the people who we appreciate and may we always feel grateful to Hashem for the good He blesses us with!

Purim Poem-Lottery

Here's my Purim Poem for this year. Enjoy the message!

Purim is here, a day of happiness and fun for all,

We dress up in costumes whether big or small.

Yet there is a deeper message in this special day,

About connecting to Hashem in a truly meaningful way.

The name פורים comes from פור, which means raffle or lottery,

And that is a random selection, that’s what it seems to be.

But the תורה tells us that a raffle is an expression

Of what Hashem wants to tell us, it’s His specific instruction.

The two goats on יום כיפור as well as dividing ארץ ישרא-ל among the tribes,

Were done byגורל  to see what were Hashem’s true vibes!

And whenיונה  was in the boat that was twisting and turning,

Lots were cast to see who was at fault for all that churning.

So the message we can take is that things that seem random,

Are all part of the bigger picture of details working in tandem!

And on Purim we are supposed to look for Hashem in everyday things,

And appreciate the many gifts we have from the King of all kings.

When we go shopping and there is more than enough at the store,

We should know that Hashem set aside one for us and there’s extra, there’s more!

It’s only when there’s just one left of the very thing we need,

That we take the time to thank Him, oh yes indeed.

We learn this from when רבקה metיצחק  for the very first time,

And if we look closely, we’ll see the תורה records a very curious line.

ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה –The walk was in גן עדן, a very holy place,

And then ותפל מעל הגמל-Rivka fell off the camel and covered her face.

The reason she fell was because she saw him walking-yes-upside down,

His feet were in the air and his hands were on the ground!

Why was he walking in such an unusual way?

Because He represented finding Hashem in the earthly, regular and everyday.

So on Purim, it’s thisונהפוך הוא , an unusual way to connect,

We thank Hashem for the “random” bounty with which we are blessed!

He hides Himself in the plenty so it takes effort to notice and see,

That the things He gives us are a gift for each of us individually!

This is the message from the name פורים which means lottery,

That nothing is random, it’s just that Hashem is hidden, we cannot see

And on this day we should look out and try to find Him in the regular things

So we can connect with gratitude and happiness to the King of all kings!

A Freilichen Purim!