Tefillah - More Than Just a Choir!!

Someone submitted this question. How do you connect davening with talking to Hashem. I know that sounds strange but I feel totally comfortable asking Hashem for help throughout the day. But davening for me is a huge choir and its basically just saying a bunch of words I don't feel like I am talking to Hashem. How would I be able to change that?

This is a great question!! I totally understand what you are saying when you ask how you can put some heart into your tefillos. You are so cute for saying that davening is a huge choir! I never heard anyone put it that way but it makes so much sense! You feel like you are singing the words but there is no real emotions behind what you are saying. You want to fill your tefillos-the ones you daven from your siddur, with more feeling and kavannah so that when you put your siddur down you can say, "Wow! I just davened a special shachris/mincha! I feel so much closer to Hashem now!"

One book I felt that was really helpful for me is Praying With Fire which is in 5-minute Lesson-a-day format so it's easy to read. You only read a little bit every day and it helps so much! It will help you fill your tefillah with kavannah and hopefully it will help you improve the way you daven.

Tefillah is something that we need to constantly work on. It's hard to give one blanket answer and say, "Do this and then from now on, you'll always come out of tefillah feeling inspired and uplifted." But I can try to give you some ideas to help you fix up the way you daven and fill your davening with emotion so that it's more than just a nice choir!!

One thing that might help is (going along your lines of the choir), sing a song before you start to daven. Right before you open your siddur, sing something that touches your heart and that can get you into the right mood. It can even be a song in your heart, it doesn't have to be out loud - if you are in a place where you cannot sing (like in school). But getting yourself into the right frame of mind before you actually start to daven can work wonders for the way your tefillah actually comes out in the end. I can't sing on this blog but I can write the names of some songs that might work for you: (I'm suggesting slow songs but sometimes, even the fast ones can get you into the right mood.) elokei neshama, mama rochel, ani ma'amin...bevias hamoshiach, racheim, vezakeini legadel, ima tagidi li and there are many more.

Another thing that I find very helpful is having a siddur that has the meaning of the words right below the words. You can buy an interlinear siddur, where the definition of each word is directly below the word or a metsudah siddur, where the definition of each phrase is directly across so your eyes can scan the meaning while you say the words. This helps so much because then you know what you are saying and it's not just a choir, a song, a bunch of words without meaning. Then you can understand what you are saying and appreciate what you are saying.

It is also important to personalize your tefillah. Instead of just saying the words and having in mind what they mean, try to add your own personal touch to your words. Like Rabbi Alperin (from seminary) always said, "Don't be a parrot!" Don't just say the words someone else put into the siddur-add something to make it a more personal experience. For example, when davening for someone who is sick and needs a refuah shelaima, instead of just saying the bracha of refaeinu like this, "Refaeinu Hashem Venairafei-heal us Hashem and we will be healed," add something like this, "Hashem, when you heal a person, you are better than any doctor in the world! You can guarantee that even if someone is sick, you will make sure they get better and never get sick again! You can do anything and everything so please, heal this person!" By inserting your own thoughts into the words of your tefillah, you will be filling your heart with special emotions and feelings and this will make it that much more uplifting!!

Or the bracha of parnassah - Bareich Aleinu - add your own personal thoughts and feelings into the words that you are saying. Say, Hashem, you provide for every single creature and animal with whatever they need, from the smallest worm to the tallest giraffe. Please, help me make the right decision, help me find the right job, provide me with the money I need and give money to those who are struggling.

When you are up to the parts of davening where you are praising Hashem, think of specific things that happened to you that make you feel that you want to praise and thank Him. Thank Hashem for your health, your family, your friends, the fact that you can read and see the colors of this blog post!!

Try to spend some time reading and learning about the meaning of the words and parts of davening. By learning what amazing kavanos you can have when you daven different parts of the tefillah, you will become more excited about it!! Put your heart into it and you will be amazed by how much you can connect to Hashem through the words in your siddur!!

Also try to read uplifting stories about tefillah and how people used this powerful tool to connect to Hashem and how their requests were answered. Touched By A Prayer is a great way to start! It is full of stories and insights on tefillah and will hopefully help change the way you daven!!

I hope this helps you out – and let me know if you still have questions or if this works for you!

Anyone else have any ideas they want to share – of how you can make tefillah a special and uplifting experience?!