The Power You Have

The following was written by Sarala. Enjoy this great read!

I am very passionate about this idea - Smiling. I hope it gives Chizuk and most of all inspires you.

Thank you for reading.

Smiling
Getting dressed takes a considerate amount of effort and can be time consuming. We want to look our best and take some time to be sure that our shirt matches our flowy skirt which we just bought on sale; that our tights aren’t pimply and that we don’t make a run (because its brand new and we want our money’s worth) oh … whoops… ya, a run! We also want to be sure that our earrings match our outfit. Then goes the makeup. We look into the mirror making sure the base is rubbed in. Alas! We look into the mirror one last time, admire our beauty and gleam with pride! We smile inwards and applaud ourselves mentally.

With this being said, I want to tell you a little secret (just make sure to forward it!): There’s something else we all wear which isn’t a tangible article of clothing. Nevertheless, it’s another thing we wear (or hope to wear more) which can really change our day. That is … you guessed it! A smile!! All it takes to smile is to place both your right and left index fingers on both corners of your mouth and gently move them upwards. Well, that takes minimal effort (if you followed my directions) which is the long way. This is really works. It gives us a little boost when you’re not in the best of spirits and improves our mood.

What’s Behind a Smile?
So, you ask, why does smiling have so much “power?” What is it about smiling that deserves much elaboration? From a scientific point of view, smiling has the ability to create “good feelings” in us. On the surface level, smiling sends a message to our brain (via the muscles that contract) to produce those “good feelings.” These good feelings, generate positive emotions in us.

What a Simple Smile Can Do:
Imagine this:
You wake up at 7 am feeling tired and groggy. You make your way to the bathroom and stub your toe. After you recover, you throw on your clothes and schlep your tights up only to rip them. Its 7:30 and you feel your patience ebbing away. As if that drama wasn’t enough, you accidentally tilt your yogurt cup and add a decoration to your shirt (not the kind of decoration you’d buy). Not only are you tired, and groggy, but you’re moody and almost start yelling at your yogurt. You change and finally arrive at work. Your coworker greets you with a hearty “good morning.” You (the once tired and groggy person), greet her back with one of your nice warm smiles. Right then and there, you feel a certain calmness washing over you. Your feelings of fatigue literally vanished.

The “Magic” in a Smile:
What happened here? Was this some kind of magic potion? Yes, this was a kind of “magic.” Your co-worker’s (magic) smile generated positive feelings which replaced your fatigue and moodiness. Not only are you no longer tired; you’re happy, smiley and full of positive energy! Not only does a smile have the power to help us feel good. It also enhances our beauty. What’s sweeter than being greeted with a hearty, warm and inviting smile? It’s incredible!

This is the Power of a Smile!
We tend to underestimate the power of smiling and rationalize its importance/power by thinking, ‘what’s the big deal?’ What’s my smile really going to do? Can I really make a difference? All these rationalizations stem from the Yetzer Hara in an effort to make us feel inadequate and small. Nonetheless, the Torah gives us have first-hand evidence and explains its importance.

[1] Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai was exceptionally nice in one area. He was the first to greet others and say “hello.” Why was this so special? The Gemara is teaching us the importance of acknowledging another person. When we make a point to notice someone and acknowledge their presence, it shows them that they’re important in our eyes. We are giving them the message that “you matter!”

[2] The Meforshim explain that the Neshama is called Kavod. Why? Because our Neshama gives others value and respect; it gives life. When we greet someone, we’re tapping into their Neshama, showing them they are worthy of respect and this makes them feel valuable, which is why their face lights up.

A Personal Example
As I was leaving work one afternoon, my boss gave me a compliment with an added bonus: A Warm Smile. It wasn’t one of my best days and I was quite tired. However, I felt so much better: I felt energized, valued and calm. That’s the power of a smile!

To end off, here are two quotes conveying the importance of a smile and their sources:

“We can never know all the good that a simple smile can do.”

“Nothing you wear is more important than your smile.”

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Footnotes:
[1] Brachos 7a
[2] Metzudas Tzion and Tehillim 57;9
(This is taken from one of the emails that I get from an amazing program called Middos Challenges. For more information, please click on the following link: torahdesigns.com/middos- challenges)

The Most Meaningful Birthday

Today was my hebrew birthday. 

It's a different birthday than other years. 

I think back to the time when I used to be able to feel something different on this special day. It used to feel meaningful. I'd wake up in the morning and I'd feel like I can imbue meaning and spirituality into my day.

I would daven the full davening, slowly and with concentration.

Today, I only davened the brachos. I'm lucky to be at this stage. A mommy, and a busy one too. My daughter was home; her school has mid winter break. She needed me and my attention, I had to put my siddur away.

I thought back to the birthday I celebrated while I was in seminary in Eretz Yisroel. It was so meaningful. So spiritual. Such an uplifting day. I heard from other girls that it's a nice thing to say the whole tehillim on your birthday. So when I saw my birthday fell out on shabbos that year, I thought I might be able to do it. And I pushed myself to do it. 

I spent the shabbos of my hebrew birthday in Yerushalayim that week, not too far from the kosel, and I went to the kosel on shabbos and was able to complete the entire sefer tehillim in one day. At the holiest place in the holiest city.

It was a spiritually uplifting experience. That moment when I closed my tehillim and stepped away from those holy stones, feeling like I just accomplished something big...It was special. 

And now? I can't daven like I used to. I can't even daven shemona esrei! My kids need to be watched at all times and if I so much as try to pull out a siddur to entertain the thought of a meaningful prayer, they make sure to put me in my place. Either it's a fight or a needy kvetch, but it's always something.

I remember the time we were staying at my Grandmother's new apartment and I decided to take out a siddur and daven an amidah prayer. All was quiet so I thought, why not? I was up to magen avraham when I felt a hard bang on my head. My son had found a metal pole that was in the door to the backyard (usually put there to keep the kids from opening the door, but you can't put anything past my kids!) And he hit me with it. I don't know if he realized what he was doing, but I got the message. Loud and clear. This was not the time to try to daven. I never had to be "hit over the head" again to understand my role. I need to take care of my kids and be there for them, not with a siddur but always with a prayer on my lips, in my own language.

It took time for me to acknowledge and accept that this is my tafkid right now. Davening with a siddur is not for now. Now my job is to look after my children, Hashem's children, and to make sure they are safe, happy and healthy. 

I can still daven. And I do. I just can't take out a siddur and rely on the ancient verses established by the anshei kneses hagedolah.

I can talk to Hashem from my heart. And I do. Throughout my day, I can ask Him for the things I need and thank Him for the things He gives me.

I know that as a Jewish woman, my job is to uplift the physical to a spiritual level. That's my role. I taught that to my students and I continue to teach it to myself. To remind myself.

When my sister told me that she met someone who davens for each of her children as she folds their laundry, I thought, "I love that! That is such a powerful yet simple way to elevate a mundane job into something more meaningful."
And I try to remember to do it too.

(And I forget half the time :) Cuz I'm a mommy and my brain is on overload.)

So this year, although it may not be as spiritually elevating for me, I can accept that this is exactly where Hashem put me and this is my role. No, not to daven and say tehillim all day. I can start each day with a small prayer, and then I move on to the regular tasks of a mother. And I can give my kids a good time, help them learn how to interact with others in a peaceful way, making a kiddush Hashem wherever we go. I can imbue them with a love for Hashem, the Torah and His mitzvos. 

And I can give my readers a bracha :). It may not be as long as my old ones, because bh I'm too busy for that, but it's still my wishes for you. 

May you be able to find fulfilment in whatever you do and may you be able to uplift every physical activity to something more meaningful. May you feel at peace with your role but never fully at peace with yourself, always climbing higher and setting new goals for your life. May you be able to strengthen your emunah in Hashem and believe that every single thing He does is for the good.

And most importantly, may you have health and strength to be able to live your life to the fullest.

The Present

The following was written by Sarala, a very unique and special individual. She shared it with me and gave me permission to post it so you can also be inspired.

The Present is a Present

A young couple was eating out in a restaurant. After a few moments of pleasant chatting, their food arrived. Starving, they each dived in but abruptly stopped in their tracks when they noticed a piece of paper neatly folded into 4 sections. They each opened it up and read it. It read: “The Present Moment is a Present. Use it Wisely.”

The couple looked at each other questioningly. They didn’t have to comment. The look on their faces verbalized their thoughts. “What in the world?? What is this??” They slowly recovered and regained their composure and read the note a couple of more times. They remembered that their food was waiting for them and quickly dived in. But this time it was done a bit differently: They recited a bracha slowly and carefully while trying to understand its meaning.

While this story is made up, the message is very clear and relevant to us. How many times do we lose sight of precious moments and squander many opportunities? How many of us fall into the trap of boredom when we can easily channel the moment into something elevated?

I would like to share a personal example to bring this point home:

I take the city bus to work. The bus ride is not long at all; it’s about 10 minutes. All too often, I find myself thinking about what I can/should do and therefore, lose the moment. When I catch myself, I shift my attention to the present moment and try to experience it as much as I can. For example, I take note of the cold air on my face. I challenge myself to observe my surroundings – the trees, flowers, cars and people passing by. Although this sounds simple and elementary, it is extremely important. It’s vital that we observe, take note and enjoy each moment. Because, The Present is a Present.

Food For Thought: Hashem gave us all the same amount of seconds. The difference lies in how we choose to use them.

The equation below is copied and pasted from: https://www.rapidtables.com/calc/time/seconds-in-day.html

1 day = 24 hours/day × 60 minutes/hour × 60 seconds/minute = 86400 seconds/day. 

Let's use the many seconds in our day to enjoy the presents we've been given, by living in the present!