Today, Vav Shevat, is my hebrew birthday.
There are so many thoughts and feelings that come to me in this special day.
For me, my birthday is a time when I remind myself about how much I have to be grateful for. It's a day where I think about the good I have been given and thank Hashem for it.
When it comes to thanking Hashem, a lot of it boils down to the little details. It's all those little things that make me realize just how blessed I am, just how much good I have in my life and just how much I should show Him that I appreciate all of it.
I think about my precious, healthy little children, the adorable things they say, the joy they bring into my life...and I am grateful.
I think about how SB told me he had "corn on the bone" for lunch...and I smile...and I laugh. :-D The kid is too cute!
I watch CG play with her dolls, talk to them, diaper them, feed them and take care of them and my heart bursts with joy and appreciation to Hashem for giving me such a gift.
When I see Moishy crawling around the house faster than the speed of lightening and I hear him say his first few words, I am in awe of how this little teeny thing can do so much, can understand and communicate without very many words...and I am grateful.
I observe the way my children interact with each other, run to help each other and play together. They are learning so much, growing, changing and maturing each and every day. And my heart expands...until it can almost burst from thanks and appreciation.
I remember who gave me these priceless blessings, these adorable children, who take over my life and my heart. Who teach me to work on my patience, to be more easygoing, to let things slide...and to understand that they have reasons for their behavior and misbehavior...and who teach me to work on myself to be a better parent.
Kol zeman shehaneshama b'kirbi, modeh ani l'fanecha.
People say time moves fast. And that you turn around and wonder where all that time went. I don't feel it. My life is crawling. Each day is long. Sometimes, I look back and think to myself, that was just last week? It feels like ages ago!
But...I am alive. And I am grateful for each and every day I am given, each day that is filled with the joy and love and happiness I get from my children.
Each birthday brings me closer to the day...to the time of...v'atah asid lit'lah mimeni. I have no idea when that time will be.
Is it scary? Yes. But...don't I need that reminder? Isn't that something that's safe to think about (at least) once a year?
Kol zeman shehaneshama b'kirbi, modeh ani l'fanecha. As long as I am alive, I will be thankful.
Each birthday is an opportunity for me...and opportunity for reflection...for introspection...and for connection. A chance to look inside myself and see where I want to be and to take steps to get there. It's easy to forget but I have one day a year that I can make a little more spiritually elevated. Today can be a little different. It's not a special day for everyone else; it is my day. My day to make special...amidst the mundane, in middle of the regular routine...and use that day to the fullest, to start making positive changes, and to take steps in the right direction.
I am still young. I still feel so young. There is still so much I still have to do, so much I want to accomplish!
So...I will daven. I will ask the Only One who can help me for strength and ability to make those changes, to become better...and for the time I need to do it.
How could I write a birthday post without ending with a bracha? :-)
But first...I need to say this.
To all my readers out there, thank you. Thank you for your comments! They keep me going and make me realize that someone out there is reading and appreciating (or questioning :-) ) what I write. I enjoy the discussions and the feedback...and I want to thank you for it. Knowing that the inspiration from this blog is spreading is one of the things that keeps me writing and sharing my thoughts with you.
My bracha to you is that you should always feel Hashem close to you, at your side. You should feel like those lines of communication are always open and you should be able to express yourself to Him at all times. When you can't find any reason to open up, think of one thing you are grateful for...and thank Him for it. Hashem gives us so much bounty! Variety of food, colors, tastes and so many simple pleasures. Say thank you!
May each one of you who comes here for inspiration always feel that inner desire to grow and become better...and may you have the strength to overcome your challenges in the difficult times and use the good times to connect to Hashem too, through gratitude and appreciation for all He does for you!
May you and those close to you have yeshuos in every area-shidduchim, parnassah and health. Those of you who know people struggling with their yiddishkeit should know-keep davening for those precious neshamos-and may you see them come back, finding their own path, with a passion and love for Judaism and for Hashem.
I usually don't have a hard time expressing my brachos to you. My last bracha is...that just as easily as I expressed all this, that's how easily and smoothly Hashem should fulfill all that I wish for all of you!