Parshas Matos-Masei

The Torah describes the boundaries in Eretz Yisroel and how the land was divided among the shevatim. 

It is so important to have boundaries and limits. Rules keep us safe. If everything was allowed, nothing would stop us from entering dangerous territory and we would get hurt-on a physical and spiritual level. 

May you be able to stick to the boundaries you set for yourself, respect the boundaries of others and stay safe and happy!

Parshas Pinchas

Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu to climb to the top of Har Ha'avarim so he could see Eretz Yisroel before he died. His tefillah to go into EY had not been answered positively, but he did get to see the land.

In life, we daven for many things. Sometimes we see answers clearly, and things turn out exactly the way we were hoping for. Other times, it's less clear. We need to remember that Hashem hears every tefillah and listens to every cry for help. No matter what the result of our tefillah seems to be, Hashem treasures every one and at times saves that tefillah for a later date when we will need those zechusim.

May we be able to turn to Hashem whenever we need Him and stay strong in our emunah that every tefillah has a purpose and is valuable!

A Small Meal

Today is Yud Zayin Tammuz, the day we fast to show we are mourning the beginning of the end - the end of the time of clarity and closeness to Hashem through the Bais Hamikdosh.

Imagine your father bought you a house, provided you with everything you needed to keep that house beautiful and also gave you money to buy yourself food and clothing whenever you needed. Now imagine if at the same time, your father was homeless, sleeping on the park bench every night. Would you be able to enjoy the house he so generously gave you, along with all the things he provided you with?

Wouldn't you try to invite him into your home? What if he said he didn't want to come live with you because your home wasn't good enough for him? Wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make your house a place where he would be comfortable moving in?

Hashem gave each of us a place to live us and also blessed us with so much bounty, so much beauty, so much excess... But He is has nowhere to live.

He is homeless.

We need to reflect upon the fact that if He doesn't feel comfortable living with us, we must fix that.

We need to think, what changes can we make to ensure that our homes, our world, can become a place where His shechina will want to reside?

R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l talks about making a "seuda ketana" with Hashem.

What is this small meal?

When someone makes a big meal, like a wedding, they invite many people and serve lots of varieties of food. The reason for this is that everybody has different tastes and he wants to make sure all his guests will be satisfied.

But when a small meal is prepared, for example a seuda for just a chosson and kallah, the food served is different. Before the meal, we check with both the chosson and kallah to see what they like. If the chosson likes something but the kallah does not like it, we do not serve that dish. We only serve foods that both the chosson and kallah enjoy eating.

This, says R' Pincus zt"l, is what we should do with Hashem. We should say, "Hashem, I want to eat a meal with you. I like The New York Times. Hashem, do you like it?"

No, Hashem does not like the New York Times.

"Then I can't have that in my home."

And this is how we can go through the things we bring into our homes, the things we do in our free time and the things we busy ourselves with.

We have to look at what we do, what we buy and what we allow into our homes and ask, Hashem, do you like it? Because I can only have it if you like it. I want you to sit with me Hashem. I want you to feel welcome in my house. I want you to want to spend time in my presence.

By making a seuda ketana with Hashem, we can reflect upon the things we do and the influences we allow into our homes. We will notice what changes we need to make to ensure that Hashem's shechina will want to reside amongst us. And that way, we will show Hashem that we are setting up our homes for Him to stay!

If Hashem once again feels comfortable living among us, He can bring us all back to His home and He will no longer be homeless. We will be able to live with the clarity and closeness to Him we so desperately need. And we will be able to say, "I know that I did what it took to welcome Hashem back home. I made the changes I needed to make Him want to make the changes we were all hoping for!"

May we merit to celebrate the rebuilding of the bais hamikdosh instead of mourning its destruction!

Have a meaningful and introspective fast.

Parshas Balak

Balak tried to get Bilam to curse the Jewish People but he was unsuccessful. After three times of trying, he realized that Hashem was the One controlling what came out of Bilam's mouth and he gave up. 

In life, there are many things we try to do. Sometimes they work out immediately and we see Hashems's hand. Other times, we keep trying and we aren't successful. We need to strengthen our emunah and remind ourselves that Hashem orchestrates every detail of our lives, from the words that come out of our mouths to the bigger results of our efforts. We must remember that everything that happens is for our ultimate benefit. 

May we be able to keep trying when things are rough and stay strong in our belief that everything Hashem does is for our good! 

Parshas Chukas

After Miriam was niftar, the Be'er Miriam dried up and the Jews complained that they were thirsty. Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock but instead he hit it and water came forth.

When we want something from someone, we can speak gently and with kindness or speak harshly and use force. Using force might get us what we want, but not in the way we want. The person may give in, but their feelings towards us will change. The better way is to speak softly and with sensitivity. The person will be more receptive to what we are saying and this interaction will bring the person closer to us instead of create distance between us. 

May we be able to use a more gentle approach when speaking to others and keep our interactions peaceful and happy! 

Bumper Stickers

Bumper stickers on a car
What would yours be?
Bumper stickers on cars 
There for all to see.
A clever quote?
A humorous saying?
Or a picture of your cat?
That bumper sticker on your car
Tells us where you're at!

Who to vote for
Or your passion
And where you stand
On issues that are
Controversial 
Whether small or grand
Something you're proud of
A mountain you've climbed
Or a sight you've seen
Whatever you place
In that little space
Gives us a little taste
Of something that's inside
What you've done
Where you've been
Or where your passions lie

Yet I wonder why
I've never seen
A selfie or real image
Of the driver of the car
Or the passengers riding in it

A bumper sticker 
For all to see
Tells the world so much
But no one has ever
Been so brave 
To commit an act
Oh so grave
As plastering their car with
Pictures of themselves 
And I wonder...why?

We do it all the time 
I think
And I wonder
Do we think?

We may not be driving
Around in cars
But we share pictures 
That express who we are
To more people than 
We are aware
We update and post
And then we share

Would we paste that selfie
On the back of our car?
Or does that detract
From who we really are?

Profile pictures
Updated often
With pictures of our faces
I wonder how quick we'd be
If viewed beyond friends and family
And shared in public places

We may not realize 
How many people
Can view it and then share
People we'd never show 
Such pictures to
Perhaps we shouldn't dare.

So although it's not
A bumper sticker 
On our car
It might be worthwhile to think...
Is that image a reflection 
Of who we really are?
And do we want it 
To be seen 
By all-near and far?

Self Care

The following article was written by Sarala. It is such an important message and I hope you will benefit from it!

The Importance of Self-Care

Have you ever taken the time to observe Hashem’s creations and marvel at its awesome beauty? Have you recently decided to take a stroll down your block to get some fresh air? Or, have you taken the liberty to sit down, unwind and read? If you answered no, you’re in good company! Baruch Hashem, we’re all busy people. We may be running to and from work, running errands, taking care of something in the house and the like. We rarely take the time to sit down for a few moments and just be. This is where self-care comes in.

Imagine the following scenario:

Rivkah wakes up on a nice, sunny Monday morning. She gets dressed and quickly throws some food into her bag for the workday. She walks fairly fast to the bus not paying much attention to pedestrians, cars or trees as she passes them. She arrives at work a bit harried and starts her work day. The time comes and she’s done for the day. She packs up and leaves. When Rivkah gets home, she eats supper, takes care of a few things and heads to bed with one eye half closed.

This is a bit of an extreme scenario, but nevertheless has a familiar rhythm to it. From the above example it seems like Rivkah had a successful and productive day – which she did. Yet, upon closer observation, you will see that Rivkah neglected one very important part. That is herself. Yes, Rivkah does need to get to work on time and take care of her personal duties. But, somehow, her more personal responsibilities got pushed to the back burner albeit subconsciously.

As it becomes more obvious, we clearly see that an important responsibility is lacking in the above example. Taking responsibility for ourselves and our needs is referred to as Self-Care. It’s ironic that we make great effort to take care of our priorities but neglect ourselves. This is why it’s extremely important that we all take a step back from our hustle and bustle and observe ourselves. Taking a step back for a few moments and tuning into ourselves and our needs will enhance our well-being in so many ways.

I will illustrate the above with a personal example:

I was busy yesterday making supper, going to a neighbor’s Tzedaka party and taking care of various other things. Towards the end of the day, I began to feel a bit on the edgy side. I realized that as busy as I was, I needed to stop for a few moments and just be with myself and see how I can relax. Sometimes, I’ll sit on the couch, observe my thoughts, think about my day so far and how I’m presently feeling. Other times, I’ll read, listen to music and the like. In other words, I’m putting my foot on the “slow down” pedal and using taking a temporary “vacation.” Other forms of self-care include eating properly, going to sleep on time (!), reading, and taking pleasure in doing something you enjoy. It can be purchasing something new for yourself, getting your nails done, meeting up with a friend or carving out some time to be alone.

I’m not suggesting that we spend our time with our feet up on the couch. If only we had more time to do that! However, it’s essential that we carve out some down time that’s devoted to us and us only. Having a few moments to ourselves has the power to give us a boost and a little pick-me-up, thus expanding our energy for various other tasks and our family and friends.

Just remember: "Taking good care of YOU means people in your life will receive the best of you, rather than what's left of you."

Take care!

To Accept

I found my comfort. After feeling like I've been going through inner torture since this story, Hashem sent just me the chizuk I needed. It didn't come from something I read online, or from a video or lecture I listened to... (and I I have been searching for something, anything that would heal my aching soul...)

Yesterday, I opened a pirkei avos to prepare a lesson for my students on sefira. I wanted to highlight some of the "mem ches devarim," 48 ways to acquire Torah. I figured I'll choose the ones most relevant and appropriate for them. As I was readijng through the list (it's in perek shishi), one of them jumped out at me and hit me in the heart. 

One way to acquire Torah is through "kabalas hayesurin," accepting painful things Hashem puts us through. I tried to keep reading, to keep going through the list, but my brain and my heart kept going back to that one.

It hit me.

If we are to live a life of Torah, we will experience painful things. We will not understand many of them. But we need to accept them. We need to accept that this is the will of Hashem.

It doesn't take the pain away. But this thought did soothe an aching heart. My soul was able to find some peace and I was able to rid my head of the crazy thoughts that have been traveling through my brain faster than I could control them these past few days.

When my kids were super cute and delicious, I would worry that it's the good ones that are taken. Every mother who loses a young child talks about how their kid's smile would light up the room. Or how their kid had an exceptional love of life. Or what a fun personality their kid had. Or how caring they were. So when my kids displayed their natural caring heart, my insides would scream...STOP! Don't be so good. So cute. So caring. So yummy. So full of positive energy and love of life. I don't want Hashem to take you Chas veshalom!

I couldn't deal with regular, positive, healthy interactions without thinking that this may be the last time...the last time I tuck my kids into bed, the last time I say "I love you..."

I thought...if this is what happens to someone who went through one loss, who is next? There seemed to be no guarantee that my family would be safe. That those close to me would be blessed to stay alive. 

I was scared. Scared of what the future would bring. Scared for my kids. Scared for everyone close to me that I love and care about. 

But then it hit me. 

Hashem decided to take this special engaged couple because...we don't know why. And we don't have to know why. But we have to accept it. We have to accept this pain so it doesn't rip us apart and hold us back from functioning. 

And this is how we will be able to be mekabel the Torah on shavuos. By realizing that we can't understand some of the difficult challenges Hashem sends to us. We can only accept it as reality and move forward with our spiritual growth. 

We can't let challenges paralyze us and stop us from living life. We have to look at the challenges as an opportunity for us to fix ourselves, to take one small thing upon ourselves so we can become more spiritual. We can become more loving and more expressive of that love towards those closest to us. We should inject joy and happiness into our lives and the lives of those around us. 

This is the way I found comfort and inner peace.

I hope you can, too.

Dear Father of Mine

The following poem was written by a friend, B.K., and I'm posting it with her permission.

Dear father of mine
To you I cry and sigh
Tear after tear
Hoping you do hear
I scream and yell to you
Maybe something it will do
I stand here with great pain
Pain so intense, could go insane

Dear father of mine
I cry and sigh
It’s hard to understand
You left us Behind in the sand
It’s hard to go on
Feel like a part of me is gone
How many more will you take
How can this be for the good of their sake

Dear father of mine
I cry and sigh
Engaged to be wed
And now their dead
So fresh so young 
And for them a grave was dug
I can ask why a million times
And come up with neither answer nor find

Dear father of mine
I cry and sigh
Is this truly life
Full of crime and strife
Days filled with anger and sadness
People shooting with madness
Death signs all over 
People with faces so sober 

Dear father of mine
I cry and sigh
For all those who have died
For parents walking around red eyed
For teens so lost
Sick kids full of exhaust
So many battles fought each day
Yet so pure they never complain 

Dear father of mine
The sun does still shine
I know one day I will look back
See things in white not black
One day I’ll understand why
You made us cry
Why we went through so much hurt
Trying to find you amongst the dirt

Dear father of mine
All these suffering are the sign
The time for redemption has arrived
The Jewish nation please do revive
Glorify your name 
Your place in this world acclaim
Being moshiach now
The goyim to you will all bow

Dear father of mine....

I will continue to cry and sigh..

Free

I wrote this last year and I want to share this message with you again.

Pesach is over
So much to wonder
About
Why the rush
To the pizza shops?
Why wait
On the lines
Just to get
Your own pie
The moment chometz
Is allowed again?
Can you pause
For a moment
Think 
For a moment
About this past week
(And a bit)
Of holy days
Special days
So much preparation
For these days
Where did it go?
What did you gain?
Aside from a few
Potato pounds? :)
Did you free yourself
From habits
That held you down?
Did you free yourself
From patterns
From actions
Reactions
That pulled you down?
What keeps you busy
When you're bored?
What do you do
When you have nothing to do
Or need an escape
From life
Real life?
Do you have good outlets?
Can you free yourself
From things
That pull you down?
Can you free yourself?
Release the bonds
Remove the chains
From around your soul
And feel yourself
Becoming more whole?
Even if you didn't yet
You still can
Even if you haven't yet
You can construct a plan
So the coming weeks
Leading up
To the day of
Acceptance
Of our holy Torah
You can become
A little holier
In small steps
By freeing yourself
Of the chains
That hold you back
That pull you down
That prevent you
From being
Truly free
May you be able
To have the strength
The determination
The perseverance
And the inner drive
To keep at it
To keep working
So you become
Truly free.

Happy changing over!