Nine Years

Nine years

Nine long years

Until she understood

Why

Until she was able to see

Why

Esther

Simple

Good

Pure

Esther

Was taken 

By force

To 

The king's palace

Of course

I will not be

Chosen

She thought

Of course

I'll go

Right back

Home

But

Surprise of surprises

She was

Chosen

Why?

She didn't understand 

Why?

Why would

A girl so good

A girl so pure

Be chosen for

This task

Did she ask?

Did she question?

Or did she accept

Without questions?

Was her faith

Also simple

Pure

And good

Just like she was?

She lived in the King's palace

For nine years

Nine long years

She didn't know why

She had to live with him

For so many years

She couldn't know why

Couldn't make sense

Of the senseless

So whether she questioned

Or accepted

Without questions

Whether her faith was super strong

Or she felt weak and uncertain at times

One thing remains.

Inside her heart

She didn't understand.

But when she was the one

To save the Jewish Nation

To bring about

The salvation

That's when

She was able to understand

Why

Why she was chosen

Why she had to live

In the King's palace

For so many years.

The confusion

The uncertainty

Turned into

Clarity

It was all crystal clear!

It all made sense!

There were no more questions.

Hashem had a plan

And now

She was able to

Understand.

We live our lives

And many times

We have questions.

We don't understand 

Why

Why things happen

Why we have to go through

Certain challenges

Why we have to live with

Certain things

Why we have to experience 

Tough stuff.

Sometimes

We get a glimpse

A peek

Into why

Sometimes

We can

Understand

Just a little bit

Of why

We see change

We see events

We see things

That could not have happened

Had we not

Gone through

Lived with

Experienced

Certain things

And sometimes

Sometimes

We just can't make sense of it

Sometimes

It just doesn't make sense

And we ask

(Or we think)

Why?

Why??

WHY??

We sigh

We cry

We try

To understand

And we can't

Understand

Hashem's plan

And we get frustrated 

But we must remember

That there IS a plan

There IS a reason

For every single thing

We go through

Every day

Every month

Every year.

Nine years

Is what it took

For Esther 

Queen Esther

To understand

The plan.

It may take us

Nine years

It may take more

And

We may never

Understand

While we are alive

But we must strive

To internalize

This emunah

This faith

That there is a reason

Even when we don't see it

Even when we can't get it

Hashem does

Hashem knows

Why

We have this exact

Life.

And

It is for 

Our ultimate benefit

Our ultimate good

Yes we should

Try 

To internalize

This

Message.

My bracha 

To you is

That you should be blessed with

Strength to pull through

When you can't understand

The power to believe

Really believe

When things don't make sense

The ability to connect

To daven

To seek out

To question

To come closer to

Hashem

When you feel

Confused

Alone

Unsure

Afraid

Just like Esther did

When she was

Confused

Alone

Unsure

And so terribly afraid

When the fate of

The entire Jewish People

Was in her hands

When she stood before the King

And directed her heart

To the King of Kings

With the words

Keili Keili 

Lama azavtani

She asked

She questioned

She expressed 

Her pain

To the Only One

Who has the answers.

May you be able to connect

In the same profound way

And may you be able to see

To know

To really understand

The reason for

Your experiences

I don't know 

How long it will take

But Esther

She waited 

Nine years

May you be able to persevere

Pull through

Your challenges

Your life

And come out

Stronger

As a person

As a Jew

Stronger

In your belief

That the King of Kings

Knows

What He is doing

And may you

Be able to look back

In Nine years

From now

(Or less)

With clarity

Crystal clear clarity

Understanding

Knowing

And believing

Why.

And if you still don't understand

And you still don't know

May you still believe

May you still be strong

In Nine years from now.