There’s a famous quote from the Kotzker Rebbe, “There is nothing more whole than a broken heart”. I’ve been trying to understand this for a while but after all the things I searched and read about, I realized that the answer to my question lies deep inside me, inside my soul. And I wanted to share my thoughts with you.
There are times in our lives when our hearts are broken, shattered into pieces. We don’t know where to turn, how to move on, how we will ever continue.
Can a broken heart truly be whole? Complete? What does this mean?
When someone’s heart is broken, it gives them a chance to reflect, to really think, to really cry, to try to really understand. But in truth, we are not given the brains, we are not given the clarity, the understanding, to be able to know why. Why this happened. Why we had to go through this.
So…we turn towards heaven. Towards Hashem. In our tears, in our pain, in our anguish. Hashem, we say, why?? Why did this have to happen? Why do we have to go through something so intensely painful?
And this is where the process of completion begins.
It’s a process. A process of working on and strengthening our emunah in Hashem. That every single thing that happens is for the good. We may not see it right now. We may not be able to fathom it when we are in such intense pain but it is the ultimate truth.
Hashem is running the world. Hashem is running our world. The teeny little world we live in…surrounded by our friends and family, which includes our many hurts, our aches and our pains. And every thing that happens in our own little world is for the good.
Sometimes we are blessed to get a small glimpse into the good, a small ray of light, an opening for the potential for something better to come out of the pain we are going through. Other times, we only see darkness, we feel so broken, we do not know how we will go on…and we simply do not understand.
But…it is for the good.
It takes work. It takes a lot to internalize that message. That no matter what is going on in our lives, there is a purpose for it. That there is a reason for all the pain we are put through in this world. And not only is there a reason, there is a good reason. The pain is there for something good. Something good will come out of this.
My heart may be broken but I am working on my emunah. On making myself so complete and so whole in my trust and belief in Hashem. On coming out so much stronger. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able say it was worth the pain, worth the hurt, worth the fact that my heart has been shattered into so many pieces but…I wasn’t given a choice.
And once I am where I am, I will work on picking up the pieces of my broken heart and using the pain to make my heart more complete...more complete in my trust in Hashem, that every single thing He does, whether I understand it or not-is for the good.
There is nothing more whole than a broken heart. I am slowly learning that.