Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Broken Heart

There’s a famous quote from the Kotzker Rebbe, “There is nothing more whole than a broken heart”. I’ve been trying to understand this for a while but after all the things I searched and read about, I realized that the answer to my question lies deep inside me, inside my soul. And I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

There are times in our lives when our hearts are broken, shattered into pieces. We don’t know where to turn, how to move on, how we will ever continue.

Can a broken heart truly be whole? Complete? What does this mean?

When someone’s heart is broken, it gives them a chance to reflect, to really think, to really cry, to try to really understand. But in truth, we are not given the brains, we are not given the clarity, the understanding, to be able to know why. Why this happened. Why we had to go through this.

So…we turn towards heaven. Towards Hashem. In our tears, in our pain, in our anguish. Hashem, we say, why?? Why did this have to happen? Why do we have to go through something so intensely painful?

And this is where the process of completion begins.

It’s a process. A process of working on and strengthening our emunah in Hashem. That every single thing that happens is for the good. We may not see it right now. We may not be able to fathom it when we are in such intense pain but it is the ultimate truth.

Hashem is running the world. Hashem is running our world. The teeny little world we live in…surrounded by our friends and family, which includes our many hurts, our aches and our pains. And every thing that happens in our own little world is for the good.

Sometimes we are blessed to get a small glimpse into the good, a small ray of light, an opening for the potential for something better to come out of the pain we are going through. Other times, we only see darkness, we feel so broken, we do not know how we will go on…and we simply do not understand.

But…it is for the good.

It takes work. It takes a lot to internalize that message. That no matter what is going on in our lives, there is a purpose for it. That there is a reason for all the pain we are put through in this world. And not only is there a reason, there is a good reason. The pain is there for something good. Something good will come out of this.

My heart may be broken but I am working on my emunah. On making myself so complete and so whole in my trust and belief in Hashem. On coming out so much stronger. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able say it was worth the pain, worth the hurt, worth the fact that my heart has been shattered into so many pieces but…I wasn’t given a choice.

And once I am where I am, I will work on picking up the pieces of my broken heart and using the pain to make my heart more complete...more complete in my trust in Hashem, that every single thing He does, whether I understand it or not-is for the good.

There is nothing more whole than a broken heart. I am slowly learning that.


  1. Beautifully written and important to remember.

  2. There is an idea (I think by the Shem Mishmuel) that "Kol SheAmar 'Ain La', Hava La"- that whereever (its written in the Torah) that someone lacks somehing, really they have it. This is written by Sarah Imainu when it says Ain La Vlad- she didnt have a womb and the medrash says "hava la," she did have. So the idea is explained that what /did/ she have? perhaps not a womb, but by lacking a womb, she was forced, as you wrote, to reflect, introspect, turn to Hashem, all the tools one needs to build something real, something that is their own, meaning their relationship with themselves and their relationship with Hashem, which is deepened through the experience of lacking something and coming not only to terms wiht it but to acknowledge what one /does/ have, or what someone /can/ come to have, that makes Hashem sdecide she doesn't need something else

  3. FrugalFF-(sorry, I can't use your initials! It just doesn't sound right...)
    Thank you.

    tamar-right. That's what I was saying. Thank you for explaining it so well. I just don't understand what you said at the end, that makes Hashem decide she doesn't need something else. By coming to terms with what one is lacking and acknowledging what they do have...then what? Can you explain please?

    Anon-gosh...thank you. I could use that hug.

  4. thanks devo:) I firmly believe that iyH we will come to a point in our lives that we will be able to thank Hashem for the very experiences that gave us broken hearts. It's a lifelong process, but we'll come to a feeling of completeness that we gained such an extreme closeness with Hashem. I think a broken heart is so complete because at times we have to literally gather those pieces and put them together, but they're put together time through hard work on Emunah and Bitachon. So over the course of our lives, we will battle and fight never to give up and turn to Hashem no matter what, no matter how hard. And at the end we will have a heart so full of strength, trust and Hashem's love. There is nothing more complete.

  5. Devoiry thanks so much for sharing!! Oh my gosh that was tremendously powerful!!!!!! Wow!! and great chizuk too!!! You bring out the point so well!!! And it just shows how strong you are- by experiencing what you are writing and expressing it! You are a person who is constantly working on your emunah and you can tell that you are not just reading and writing about emunah but really LIVING it. Well, that really is the level of Bitachon, Because: (for example )Emunah is like a bridge and Bitachon is actually crossing the bridge! By crossing the bridge, you are putting it into action- which is bitachon! You are living by it and holding on!!!!! You are soo connected to Hashem and you know that he is always there for you!!! And you are sooo amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep spreading your amazing words/thoughts/experiences... :)
    All the best!!!

  6. Shana-Do you really think so? Do you think one day we will be able to thank Hashem for the experiences that broken our hearts? I don't know...I know painful times change me as a person and give me an opportunity to grow in my emunah, internalizing the fact that it's all for the good, but would I be able to look back and actually thank Hashem for going through them?? You think one day you will be able to?

    Rivky-thank you. It's easier said (written?) than done. Like I said, it's a process. And it takes work to get there. I hope you can internalize this message too!

  7. (((Dev))) My hug yesterday would've been for a bit longer if I would have known...


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