I wrote this last year and wanted to share the message with you again.
"Aah-pi-dee coo-key"
I'm walking back from the bus stop with my baby and my neighbor.
"He wants me to open his bag of cookies...isn't that cute?"
"I would have no clue what he was talking about!" she says.
And I'm reminded about something I heard a while back about tefillah and the way we daven.
When a little baby or toddler who is just learning how to talk starts to communicate in his own language, only his own parents can truly understand the things he is saying. He is not using real words yet, just a combination of sounds...but every sound has real meaning...to him. And his mother and father know exactly what he means to say with each sound that comes out of his mouth.
But a stranger wouldn't understand at all.
When we daven, there are times when we mumble the words, don't pronounce them correctly...and just rush through our tefillos. We can't always say the words the way they were meant to be said, with the proper pronunciation and concentration.
After all, we are human beings.
But Hashem is our Father. And He understands the thoughts and feelings behind the words we say. He understand what we really mean to say, even if sometimes we're talking in baby talk.
He knows we really want to praise Him. He knows that we really mean to ask him for health, parnassah, refuos and yeshuos. He knows that when we go through shemona esrei and we don't really think about the meaning of every single word, we really do want to. We want to do it right.
But sometimes we stumble.
Sometimes we mumble.
Sometimes we don't think into the meaning of the things we are saying and asking for.
And He understands our baby talk.
But...does that mean we should stay that way? Just because He understands, should we talk like little kids?
Of course not.
Let's try.
Let's grow up.
Let's work on our concentration.
On our pronunciation.
On saying our brachos and tefillos the way they were meant to be said.
Because even though Hashem understands that we mean a lot more than "baruchata...borei minaymezonos..." or "selachlanu...mechalanu", we might as well put in the effort and talk big...like adults...like a professional businessman. Like someone who knows his stuff.
Hashem is always listening. He understands our innermost thoughts and feelings...even when we can't express them in words.
But when it's time to daven, when it's time to say our brachos, when it's time to bench, to ask Hashem for things we need and thank Him for the things He gives us, let's try to do it right.
Enough with the baby talk. It's cute...but at some point we need to grow up.
I open the bag of cookies for my baby and he spills most of it on the floor. But I understand. He's just a baby. He asks for things and he can't even enjoy all of it. But I'm his mother...and so I give.
Hashem knows us so much better. He knows what is good for us, what we need...and what we want...and when the time is right for us to get it. He is our Father...and He gives us...so much good.
May you be able to express yourself properly with the words of your tefillos and brachos...and mature in your tefillos from baby talk to big-girl talk!
Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Baby Talk
"Aah-pi-dee coo-key"
I'm walking back from the bus stop with my baby and my neighbor.
"He wants me to open his bag of cookies...isn't that cute?"
"I would have no clue what he was talking about!" she says.
And I'm reminded about something I heard a while back about tefillah and the way we daven.
When a little baby or toddler who is just learning how to talk starts to communicate in his own language, only his own parents can truly understand the things he is saying. He is not using real words yet, just a combination of sounds...but every sound has real meaning...to him. And his mother and father know exactly what he means to say with each sound that comes out of his mouth.
But a stranger wouldn't understand at all.
When we daven, there are times when we mumble the words, don't pronounce them correctly...and just rush through our tefillos. We can't always say the words the way they were meant to be said, with the proper pronunciation and concentration.
After all, we are human beings.
But Hashem is our Father. And He understands the thoughts and feelings behind the words we say. He understand what we really mean to say, even if sometimes we're talking in baby talk.
He knows we really want to praise Him. He knows that we really mean to ask him for health, parnassah, refuos and yeshuos. He knows that when we go through shemona esrei and we don't really think about the meaning of every single word, we really do want to. We want to do it right.
But sometimes we stumble.
Sometimes we mumble.
Sometimes we don't think into the meaning of the things we are saying and asking for.
And He understands our baby talk.
But...does that mean we should stay that way? Just because He understands, should we talk like little kids?
Of course not.
Let's try.
Let's grow up.
Let's work on our concentration.
On our pronunciation.
On saying our brachos and tefillos the way they were meant to be said.
Because even though Hashem understands that we mean a lot more than "baruchata...borei minaymezonos..." or "selachlanu...mechalanu", we might as well put in the effort and talk big...like adults...like a professional businessman. Like someone who knows his stuff.
Hashem is always listening. He understands our innermost thoughts and feelings...even when we can't express them in words.
But when it's time to daven, when it's time to say our brachos, when it's time to bench, to ask Hashem for things we need and thank Him for the things He gives us, let's try to do it right.
Enough with the baby talk. It's cute...but at some point we need to grow up.
I open the bag of cookies for my baby and he spills most of it on the floor. But I understand. He's just a baby. He asks for things and he can't even enjoy all of it. But I'm his mother...and so I give.
Hashem knows us so much better. He knows what is good for us, what we need...and what we want...and when the time is right for us to get it. He is our Father...and He gives us...so much good.
May you be able to express yourself properly with the words of your tefillos and brachos...and mature in your tefillos from baby talk to big-girl talk!
I'm walking back from the bus stop with my baby and my neighbor.
"He wants me to open his bag of cookies...isn't that cute?"
"I would have no clue what he was talking about!" she says.
And I'm reminded about something I heard a while back about tefillah and the way we daven.
When a little baby or toddler who is just learning how to talk starts to communicate in his own language, only his own parents can truly understand the things he is saying. He is not using real words yet, just a combination of sounds...but every sound has real meaning...to him. And his mother and father know exactly what he means to say with each sound that comes out of his mouth.
But a stranger wouldn't understand at all.
When we daven, there are times when we mumble the words, don't pronounce them correctly...and just rush through our tefillos. We can't always say the words the way they were meant to be said, with the proper pronunciation and concentration.
After all, we are human beings.
But Hashem is our Father. And He understands the thoughts and feelings behind the words we say. He understand what we really mean to say, even if sometimes we're talking in baby talk.
He knows we really want to praise Him. He knows that we really mean to ask him for health, parnassah, refuos and yeshuos. He knows that when we go through shemona esrei and we don't really think about the meaning of every single word, we really do want to. We want to do it right.
But sometimes we stumble.
Sometimes we mumble.
Sometimes we don't think into the meaning of the things we are saying and asking for.
And He understands our baby talk.
But...does that mean we should stay that way? Just because He understands, should we talk like little kids?
Of course not.
Let's try.
Let's grow up.
Let's work on our concentration.
On our pronunciation.
On saying our brachos and tefillos the way they were meant to be said.
Because even though Hashem understands that we mean a lot more than "baruchata...borei minaymezonos..." or "selachlanu...mechalanu", we might as well put in the effort and talk big...like adults...like a professional businessman. Like someone who knows his stuff.
Hashem is always listening. He understands our innermost thoughts and feelings...even when we can't express them in words.
But when it's time to daven, when it's time to say our brachos, when it's time to bench, to ask Hashem for things we need and thank Him for the things He gives us, let's try to do it right.
Enough with the baby talk. It's cute...but at some point we need to grow up.
I open the bag of cookies for my baby and he spills most of it on the floor. But I understand. He's just a baby. He asks for things and he can't even enjoy all of it. But I'm his mother...and so I give.
Hashem knows us so much better. He knows what is good for us, what we need...and what we want...and when the time is right for us to get it. He is our Father...and He gives us...so much good.
May you be able to express yourself properly with the words of your tefillos and brachos...and mature in your tefillos from baby talk to big-girl talk!
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Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Always There
I remember learning about the concept of object permanence in child psychology. It's fascinating to see how babies and children develop and mature in their understanding of abstract ideas.
Why do babies love the game peek-a-boo?
It's because when they see something, they know it's there. But when they do not see it, their little brains cannot register that the object or person is still right there. They think it's gone. So peek-a-boo is like a mini magic show to little babies! Now you see me, now you don't. Now you're here and a moment later you're not! How did you do that? Kids love it!
As children mature, they can understand this concept on a little bit of a deeper level. They learn that just because they cannot see the something, that does not mean it isn't there. If they don't see the treat they want, that doesn't mean it's not around. And they'll go looking in all the best hiding places until they find the spot where their mommy hid it.
But there's still another level.
Ever since my son got his Purim mask, we have been playing this game together. He puts on the mask and starts looking for his real nose. He gets such a kick out of it every time because when he looks into the mirror, he sees a green nose. Then he lifts the mask and says, "Uhhh! Here's my real nose!" And he giggles and laughs because he finds it so funny.
While we are living in this earth, we also go through different stages of maturing in our understanding of the concept of object permanence. Except, it's not an object that we are relating to, it's Hashem. And as we grow and change, we begin to realize that just because we cannot see Hashem, that doesn't mean He isn't there. To the contrary, Hashem is always here, but we don't always see or feel Him by our side.
As we go through different challenges in our lives, we may fluctuate between feeling this idea on both ends of the spectrum.
Some days, we may feel so connected and so close-we feel Hashem right at our side, even though things may be hard for us. We feel Hashem making the little things easier for us, small things go right and it makes us feel like we can deal with the bigger things. This gives us the strength we need to carry on, to continue going.
Then there will be days when we feel so distant, so alone. Things get hard, almost too hard. It can be a combination of many little things or one big test that makes us feel so lost. When small stresses pile up on top of big things we are dealing with, those little things become so much bigger and so much harder. This is when it's easy to feel like Hashem has left us.
But a Jew must remember that no matter what they are going through, no matter what is going on in their life, Hashem is always there.
You may not see Him. There may be times when you are in too much pain to feel Him by your side.
But always remember that He is there. At all times.
Why do babies love the game peek-a-boo?
It's because when they see something, they know it's there. But when they do not see it, their little brains cannot register that the object or person is still right there. They think it's gone. So peek-a-boo is like a mini magic show to little babies! Now you see me, now you don't. Now you're here and a moment later you're not! How did you do that? Kids love it!
As children mature, they can understand this concept on a little bit of a deeper level. They learn that just because they cannot see the something, that does not mean it isn't there. If they don't see the treat they want, that doesn't mean it's not around. And they'll go looking in all the best hiding places until they find the spot where their mommy hid it.
But there's still another level.
Ever since my son got his Purim mask, we have been playing this game together. He puts on the mask and starts looking for his real nose. He gets such a kick out of it every time because when he looks into the mirror, he sees a green nose. Then he lifts the mask and says, "Uhhh! Here's my real nose!" And he giggles and laughs because he finds it so funny.
While we are living in this earth, we also go through different stages of maturing in our understanding of the concept of object permanence. Except, it's not an object that we are relating to, it's Hashem. And as we grow and change, we begin to realize that just because we cannot see Hashem, that doesn't mean He isn't there. To the contrary, Hashem is always here, but we don't always see or feel Him by our side.
As we go through different challenges in our lives, we may fluctuate between feeling this idea on both ends of the spectrum.
Some days, we may feel so connected and so close-we feel Hashem right at our side, even though things may be hard for us. We feel Hashem making the little things easier for us, small things go right and it makes us feel like we can deal with the bigger things. This gives us the strength we need to carry on, to continue going.
Then there will be days when we feel so distant, so alone. Things get hard, almost too hard. It can be a combination of many little things or one big test that makes us feel so lost. When small stresses pile up on top of big things we are dealing with, those little things become so much bigger and so much harder. This is when it's easy to feel like Hashem has left us.
But a Jew must remember that no matter what they are going through, no matter what is going on in their life, Hashem is always there.
You may not see Him. There may be times when you are in too much pain to feel Him by your side.
But always remember that He is there. At all times.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Kislev-My Miracles
One of the things I learned from my mother was the importance of expressing gratitude. Not just for the big things but for the little things as well...because they may not be so little. She was very big on thank you cards, sending them out often to those who did favors for her.
Even after my brother Shalom a"h, was niftar, my mother expressed her appreciation to all those who assisted in trying to save his life-the main lifeguard in camp who came running to the scene after he fell from the tree, the assistant lifeguards, the rebbe who said shema with him in the hospital in his last moments...all of them received thank you cards in the mail after my brother passed away. She wanted them to know that our family did not chas v'shalom blame them for not working hard enough and that we were sure they all did their utmost in trying to save Shalom's life...and that this was a decree from Hashem and we were accepting it. They were in no way at fault. And she used those thank you cards to put her feelings into words.
She was always thanking our teachers, the school staff, the delivery guy, the neighbor who did her a favor. She said thank you to the car service driver, giving him a tip, even though this was his job. She'd thank the cashier as she left with her bags....everyone. She took note of every single thing, little and big and showed her hakaras hatov. And I took this lesson from her and try to carry it with me wherever I go.
Just yesterday, I received a phone call from my son's school. A phone call I've been waiting for ever since the beginning of the school year. The person on the other line confirmed that everything was in place and some important paperwork we were waiting for finally went through. Things should be smooth from here on.
Interestingly, the day before I got this phone call, as I left my son's school building knowing I was still waiting, I turned to Hashem and said, "Hashem, that's it. This is in your hands. We did whatever we could and there's nothing else that could be done. Now I'm turning to you and relying on you completely. Please...make this work out already...make it happen soon. How much longer can we wait for this?"
The next day, I got that phone call...my own, personal miracle.
And after I got that phone call, I sat down and penned the following,
Here's a little note to say thank you,
For all the behind-the-scenes work that you do.
We don't usually get to see the details,
And we don't know exactly what your job entails.
But for us - you worked hard, giving up was not an option
And for that we'd like to express our deepest appreciation.
You kept trying - calling and emailing too,
You listened to our (almost) daily question of "anything new?"
And now that all the paperwork finally came through,
We have two words for you-Thank You!
How much time did it take me to write that? Just a couple of minutes. But do I know how much that thank you means to the one who put in all the work for us?
I learned this from my mother-to take a few minutes to express my appreciation in this way.
Just that same evening, something happened that made my heart stop beating. It still continues pounding every time I think about it and replay those few moments in my mind.
I was home alone with my children and was busy in the kitchen when I heard my little baby, who is at the crawling stage, start screaming. I ran into the next room and saw the front door-the door right above my staircase, wide open. My heart froze. I stood at the top of the staircase and for a split-second I knew he fell down the long flight of stairs.
I was wrong.
I looked down the steps...but he was not there. Then I saw a flash of orange-he was right at the top of the staircase! He was lying up side down, with his head on the third step from the top and his feet on the second step-right where the staircase starts to turn. Had he chas v'shalom been one step lower, where the staircase leads straight down...I can't imagine where I'd be at this moment. But I wouldn't be here typing up this blog post.
I scooped up my baby and hugged him so tightly, my hands trembling and shaking. I kissed him and cried knowing that I just experienced my own little miracle.
I felt like...this is what I needed right now. I needed this two second scare as a reminder of what I have and what I need to appreciate. I have three little miracles in my care, three precious little children. Although it's true that Hashem watches over them, over me, every minute of the day, it took this to show me just how closely He is watching over my family.
Today is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. It is the month of miracles. The month when we experienced the miracle of Chanukah-of light in the darkness.
May you each experience your own personal miracles this month and may you feel Hashem illuminating your path, illuminating your life. May the darkness you've experienced be transformed into light and may you be blessed to notice and appreciate the miracles in your life...because the small miracles...they are really big.
A gutten chodesh.
Even after my brother Shalom a"h, was niftar, my mother expressed her appreciation to all those who assisted in trying to save his life-the main lifeguard in camp who came running to the scene after he fell from the tree, the assistant lifeguards, the rebbe who said shema with him in the hospital in his last moments...all of them received thank you cards in the mail after my brother passed away. She wanted them to know that our family did not chas v'shalom blame them for not working hard enough and that we were sure they all did their utmost in trying to save Shalom's life...and that this was a decree from Hashem and we were accepting it. They were in no way at fault. And she used those thank you cards to put her feelings into words.
She was always thanking our teachers, the school staff, the delivery guy, the neighbor who did her a favor. She said thank you to the car service driver, giving him a tip, even though this was his job. She'd thank the cashier as she left with her bags....everyone. She took note of every single thing, little and big and showed her hakaras hatov. And I took this lesson from her and try to carry it with me wherever I go.
Just yesterday, I received a phone call from my son's school. A phone call I've been waiting for ever since the beginning of the school year. The person on the other line confirmed that everything was in place and some important paperwork we were waiting for finally went through. Things should be smooth from here on.
Interestingly, the day before I got this phone call, as I left my son's school building knowing I was still waiting, I turned to Hashem and said, "Hashem, that's it. This is in your hands. We did whatever we could and there's nothing else that could be done. Now I'm turning to you and relying on you completely. Please...make this work out already...make it happen soon. How much longer can we wait for this?"
The next day, I got that phone call...my own, personal miracle.
And after I got that phone call, I sat down and penned the following,
Here's a little note to say thank you,
For all the behind-the-scenes work that you do.
We don't usually get to see the details,
And we don't know exactly what your job entails.
But for us - you worked hard, giving up was not an option
And for that we'd like to express our deepest appreciation.
You kept trying - calling and emailing too,
You listened to our (almost) daily question of "anything new?"
And now that all the paperwork finally came through,
We have two words for you-Thank You!
How much time did it take me to write that? Just a couple of minutes. But do I know how much that thank you means to the one who put in all the work for us?
I learned this from my mother-to take a few minutes to express my appreciation in this way.
***
Just that same evening, something happened that made my heart stop beating. It still continues pounding every time I think about it and replay those few moments in my mind.
I was home alone with my children and was busy in the kitchen when I heard my little baby, who is at the crawling stage, start screaming. I ran into the next room and saw the front door-the door right above my staircase, wide open. My heart froze. I stood at the top of the staircase and for a split-second I knew he fell down the long flight of stairs.
I was wrong.
I looked down the steps...but he was not there. Then I saw a flash of orange-he was right at the top of the staircase! He was lying up side down, with his head on the third step from the top and his feet on the second step-right where the staircase starts to turn. Had he chas v'shalom been one step lower, where the staircase leads straight down...I can't imagine where I'd be at this moment. But I wouldn't be here typing up this blog post.
I scooped up my baby and hugged him so tightly, my hands trembling and shaking. I kissed him and cried knowing that I just experienced my own little miracle.
I felt like...this is what I needed right now. I needed this two second scare as a reminder of what I have and what I need to appreciate. I have three little miracles in my care, three precious little children. Although it's true that Hashem watches over them, over me, every minute of the day, it took this to show me just how closely He is watching over my family.
Today is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. It is the month of miracles. The month when we experienced the miracle of Chanukah-of light in the darkness.
May you each experience your own personal miracles this month and may you feel Hashem illuminating your path, illuminating your life. May the darkness you've experienced be transformed into light and may you be blessed to notice and appreciate the miracles in your life...because the small miracles...they are really big.
A gutten chodesh.
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Ta'anis Esther - Alone
Sometimes in life you feel alone. Like there's no one who can help you. No one to rely on. No one to turn to.
I was sitting in the hospital bed on Shabbos morning after having given birth just a few hours before. I was starving. I had no food with me. We came to the hospital with the bag that I had packed and that's it. It was shabbos. I didn't have my phone with me and even if I would have had it I wouldn't be able to call anyone to bring me something to eat. I was alone. I was tempted to call one of the nurses to ask them to look out for a Jewish girl who was visiting someone and see if they could go to the bikkur cholim room to get me something to eat. I just gave birth. I couldn't go myself. I was alone. And I was hungry. And I needed to eat.
I felt like crying. Where was I going to get food from?
Hashem, I said, I'm hungry. I need to eat. Could you please send someone to my room to give me some food?
I was close to tears.
Mi K'amcha Yisroel. It didn't take long for a volunteer from Yad Ephraim to come into my room with a bag full of food. She had grape juice for kiddush, danishes, cake and some warm mazel tov wishes for me.
Today is Ta'anis Esther. Picture the scene so many years ago. Put yourself in Esther's shoes. She is married to Achashveirosh and has to stand before him and make a request that would save her entire nation. The entire Jewish People is looking to her, relying on her for their salvation.
At that moment, she bursts into a prayer of "Keili Keili lamah azavtani"-Hashem, why have you forsaken me? Why did you leave me? Just at the time I need you most...I feel so alone!
What an emotional prayer. What could be worse than the feeling of loneliness? Than feeling that you have no one to turn to, no one who can help you?
Yes, as a Jew you should know that you can always turn to Hashem. You can daven to Him and beg Him for help. But sometimes...that's not enough. You need something real. Something to hold on to. Someone to hold on to.
And I think maybe that's why Hashem gave us people to rely on, people to turn to for emotional support. Even if there is no one who can actually do anything practical for you, whether it's for financial help, to find you your guy, to help you with a job, to get you into a school or just to help with something real, when you feel alone and you have someone to talk to, it makes such a difference. There is something about having a friend that makes the burden a little bit easier to carry. Yes, you still have to go through the challenge anyway but when you have someone walking alongside you, you feel less alone and you feel like you could do it.
We all have times when we feel alone. Yes, we should turn to Hashem and ask for help but when nothing is going to change-because sometimes the situation stays the way it is and you don't see a way out, you can know that Hashem gave you something to make it a little more bearable. A good friend.
Today, many people take out their tehillims and say Perek Chaf Bais-the 22nd chapter that begins with "Keili Keili lamah azavtani". When a Jew feels alone, he takes out a siddur, he takes out his tehilim and he turns to Hashem. But sometimes, many times, that's not enough. You need something real. And that's what a friend is all about.
The purpose of a fast day is not about the food and about how hungry you are. The point is to get you to stop and think. We are still in galus. We know that sinas chinam is one of the things that is keeping us from getting out. Don't we all want to leave?
Today, take a minute to focus on your relationships and think about how you can be a better friend. A good friend, a real friend.
May you be able to be there for your friends to support them through the tough times and to celebrate with them in the happy times.
Have an easy, meaningful fast.
I was sitting in the hospital bed on Shabbos morning after having given birth just a few hours before. I was starving. I had no food with me. We came to the hospital with the bag that I had packed and that's it. It was shabbos. I didn't have my phone with me and even if I would have had it I wouldn't be able to call anyone to bring me something to eat. I was alone. I was tempted to call one of the nurses to ask them to look out for a Jewish girl who was visiting someone and see if they could go to the bikkur cholim room to get me something to eat. I just gave birth. I couldn't go myself. I was alone. And I was hungry. And I needed to eat.
I felt like crying. Where was I going to get food from?
Hashem, I said, I'm hungry. I need to eat. Could you please send someone to my room to give me some food?
I was close to tears.
Mi K'amcha Yisroel. It didn't take long for a volunteer from Yad Ephraim to come into my room with a bag full of food. She had grape juice for kiddush, danishes, cake and some warm mazel tov wishes for me.
* * *
Today is Ta'anis Esther. Picture the scene so many years ago. Put yourself in Esther's shoes. She is married to Achashveirosh and has to stand before him and make a request that would save her entire nation. The entire Jewish People is looking to her, relying on her for their salvation.
At that moment, she bursts into a prayer of "Keili Keili lamah azavtani"-Hashem, why have you forsaken me? Why did you leave me? Just at the time I need you most...I feel so alone!
What an emotional prayer. What could be worse than the feeling of loneliness? Than feeling that you have no one to turn to, no one who can help you?
Yes, as a Jew you should know that you can always turn to Hashem. You can daven to Him and beg Him for help. But sometimes...that's not enough. You need something real. Something to hold on to. Someone to hold on to.
And I think maybe that's why Hashem gave us people to rely on, people to turn to for emotional support. Even if there is no one who can actually do anything practical for you, whether it's for financial help, to find you your guy, to help you with a job, to get you into a school or just to help with something real, when you feel alone and you have someone to talk to, it makes such a difference. There is something about having a friend that makes the burden a little bit easier to carry. Yes, you still have to go through the challenge anyway but when you have someone walking alongside you, you feel less alone and you feel like you could do it.
We all have times when we feel alone. Yes, we should turn to Hashem and ask for help but when nothing is going to change-because sometimes the situation stays the way it is and you don't see a way out, you can know that Hashem gave you something to make it a little more bearable. A good friend.
Today, many people take out their tehillims and say Perek Chaf Bais-the 22nd chapter that begins with "Keili Keili lamah azavtani". When a Jew feels alone, he takes out a siddur, he takes out his tehilim and he turns to Hashem. But sometimes, many times, that's not enough. You need something real. And that's what a friend is all about.
The purpose of a fast day is not about the food and about how hungry you are. The point is to get you to stop and think. We are still in galus. We know that sinas chinam is one of the things that is keeping us from getting out. Don't we all want to leave?
Today, take a minute to focus on your relationships and think about how you can be a better friend. A good friend, a real friend.
May you be able to be there for your friends to support them through the tough times and to celebrate with them in the happy times.
Have an easy, meaningful fast.
Monday, March 5, 2012
It's a Boy!
I'm sitting in the hospital bed holding a precious little baby in my arms. I look at him and I see purity and perfection. Two perfect little eyes squeezed tightly shut, a teeny little nose and mouth, ears in just the right spot on the side of his face and ten teeny little fingers. So small and so perfect.
What a miracle. After nine months (and 5 and a half hours of labor), I finally got to hear..."It's a boy!"
I look at my son and wonder. How did this all come to be? A newborn baby is such a miracle. When everything goes the way it should and the baby is healthy, I cannot help but thank Hashem. There are so many little details that go into a healthy child. Everything is fine. I am so grateful. I hold him in my arms and watch him breathing...his chest moves up and down, up and down...I can look at him for hours and I wouldn't get bored.
My little baby was born on shabbos and just had his bris this past shabbos. When he got his name, it was a very emotional moment. I held back the tears while it was announced...Moshe Simcha. We chose the name Moshe after my (husband's) grandmother's brother who was killed in the holocaust and we added the name Simcha. Moshe was 10 years old when he was killed but he did have a miracle during that time. He dug himself out of a pile of dead bodies and somehow found his sister, my grandmother and they were able to spend some time together.
When a baby cries during the bris milah, it is a big eis ratzon and a time to daven. My baby certainly cried-plenty.
What is the meaning behind this mitzvah?
Jews believe that everything Hashem gave us can be used for spirituality. We elevate the food we eat by making a bracha and we enjoy different treats, nosh (and junk!) on shabbos-because shabbos is a day where we are supposed to enjoy ourselves. Even the junk food gets elevated-just by enjoying it on this special day.
Hashem gave us bodies to be used for something spiritual-marriage. When a little boy gets a bris milah, there is a message being given over-even though he is too young to understand it. Your body is holy, your body is special. His parents hope and pray, during that special time while he is crying, that he use his body for purity and that he keeps himself holy. Temptations are out there and it's easy to fall. Every Jewish boy has this as a reminder, a reminder that his body is holy...and he should know that if he saves it for marriage it will be all the more worth it.
As a girl you should know that your body is beautiful and there's a good reason why we are told to keep it covered. It's not that you're ugly, no way! You have a special beauty that no one can take away from you. When you have something beautiful, you keep it hidden. Just like a precious diamond is kept covered in a velvet case and just like a wedding gown is kept covered and protected and only taken out for when it is needed, your body is special and you aren't meant to walk around exposed and showing it off. It is meant to be saved for a special time when you are married. And if you save it and are careful now, it will be so much more exciting and so much more special when the right time comes!
So as my baby cried, I davened for him. I davened that he should be able to internalize this message and use his body for holy things only. That he should be able to hold back from all the temptations that are out there and keep himself pure.
I look at my son and all I see is an innocent little child. No aveiros, no impurities. And I just wish he could stay that way-totally and completely pure. It's a scary world out there and I can't protect him forever. But I know that he has this mitzvah to carry along with him and I hope he will keep the message with him always.
I thank Hashem for giving me a perfect, healthy little baby. He is precious, he is pure and he is mine.
Mazel tov!
What a miracle. After nine months (and 5 and a half hours of labor), I finally got to hear..."It's a boy!"
I look at my son and wonder. How did this all come to be? A newborn baby is such a miracle. When everything goes the way it should and the baby is healthy, I cannot help but thank Hashem. There are so many little details that go into a healthy child. Everything is fine. I am so grateful. I hold him in my arms and watch him breathing...his chest moves up and down, up and down...I can look at him for hours and I wouldn't get bored.
My little baby was born on shabbos and just had his bris this past shabbos. When he got his name, it was a very emotional moment. I held back the tears while it was announced...Moshe Simcha. We chose the name Moshe after my (husband's) grandmother's brother who was killed in the holocaust and we added the name Simcha. Moshe was 10 years old when he was killed but he did have a miracle during that time. He dug himself out of a pile of dead bodies and somehow found his sister, my grandmother and they were able to spend some time together.
When a baby cries during the bris milah, it is a big eis ratzon and a time to daven. My baby certainly cried-plenty.
What is the meaning behind this mitzvah?
Jews believe that everything Hashem gave us can be used for spirituality. We elevate the food we eat by making a bracha and we enjoy different treats, nosh (and junk!) on shabbos-because shabbos is a day where we are supposed to enjoy ourselves. Even the junk food gets elevated-just by enjoying it on this special day.
Hashem gave us bodies to be used for something spiritual-marriage. When a little boy gets a bris milah, there is a message being given over-even though he is too young to understand it. Your body is holy, your body is special. His parents hope and pray, during that special time while he is crying, that he use his body for purity and that he keeps himself holy. Temptations are out there and it's easy to fall. Every Jewish boy has this as a reminder, a reminder that his body is holy...and he should know that if he saves it for marriage it will be all the more worth it.
As a girl you should know that your body is beautiful and there's a good reason why we are told to keep it covered. It's not that you're ugly, no way! You have a special beauty that no one can take away from you. When you have something beautiful, you keep it hidden. Just like a precious diamond is kept covered in a velvet case and just like a wedding gown is kept covered and protected and only taken out for when it is needed, your body is special and you aren't meant to walk around exposed and showing it off. It is meant to be saved for a special time when you are married. And if you save it and are careful now, it will be so much more exciting and so much more special when the right time comes!
So as my baby cried, I davened for him. I davened that he should be able to internalize this message and use his body for holy things only. That he should be able to hold back from all the temptations that are out there and keep himself pure.
I look at my son and all I see is an innocent little child. No aveiros, no impurities. And I just wish he could stay that way-totally and completely pure. It's a scary world out there and I can't protect him forever. But I know that he has this mitzvah to carry along with him and I hope he will keep the message with him always.
I thank Hashem for giving me a perfect, healthy little baby. He is precious, he is pure and he is mine.
Mazel tov!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Seventh Day of Chanukah
There’s a famous question that’s asked about Chanukah.
Why is Chanuka eight days when the miracle only lasted for seven days since there was enough oil to last for one day?
There are many, many answers to this question. I just want to share one of them with you.
There was once someone who didn’t have enough money to buy oil so they used vinegar instead and said, "The same One who commanded oil to burn can make vinegar burn." And…it did burn! We learn from this that the very fact that oil burns is a miracle too and is a reason to celebrate another day of Chanukah.
The natural events in our lives are really miracles and we should realize that just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it will be that way and when things go right and are they way they are supposed to be, we should thank Hashem!
Today, the seventh day of Chanukah, is a special day for our family-it’s Chaya Gitty’s 1st (Hebrew) birthday. It’s a day to reflect upon this past year and realize that all the things that seem so normal and regular for a baby’s development are really miraculous. There’s no real reason why a baby should smile at the right time, roll over when the books say she should, crawl, coo, and start to talk (and almost walk!) before their first birthday. Who says this is normal? Who says this is the way it’s supposed to be? Why is this the way things go? It really is more than just regular to see a little baby begin to develop into a real person!
It’s a day for me to realize that all the little things that go right, all her milestones at the right times are reasons to be thankful.
She’s had her fair share of doctor visits (okay, maybe we’ve been there too many times than I would have liked) but baruch Hashem they were for regular things-ear infections, viruses and well visits. But she is healthy. We don’t spend our time worrying and running from doctor to doctor…She’s talking more than her brother did at a year, saying mommy, tatty, baby, cracker, all done, bye-bye, she waves her hand, she says moo and baa (!!) and she tries to imitate things we say to her. She is a normal, regular, healthy baby but really…who defines normal? Who says this is the way things should be? When things go the way they should and everything is smooth, it is a time to stop and thank Hashem for the regular things.
And we learn this lesson from Chanukah. The first day that the oil burned was just as miraculous as the next seven days. And that is why Chanukah lasts for eight days instead of seven. To remind us that the things that seem so normal and regular are really reasons to celebrate and be thankful.
So spend some time today thinking about the things in your life that are not out of the ordinary. That are the way they should be. Thank Hashem for the regular, the normal, the routine…because they really are reasons to be grateful.
Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Yes. Small hidden miracles happen every day and we should look out for, notice and appreciate them!
Happy Chanukah! And happy birthday CG!
Anyone else have any reasons to share for the famous question of why Chanukah is eight days instead of seven? You can comment, submit it anonymously on the right sidebar or send me an email. If I get enough answers, maybe I’ll post it and share it with all you readers :-).
Why is Chanuka eight days when the miracle only lasted for seven days since there was enough oil to last for one day?
There are many, many answers to this question. I just want to share one of them with you.
There was once someone who didn’t have enough money to buy oil so they used vinegar instead and said, "The same One who commanded oil to burn can make vinegar burn." And…it did burn! We learn from this that the very fact that oil burns is a miracle too and is a reason to celebrate another day of Chanukah.
The natural events in our lives are really miracles and we should realize that just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it will be that way and when things go right and are they way they are supposed to be, we should thank Hashem!
Today, the seventh day of Chanukah, is a special day for our family-it’s Chaya Gitty’s 1st (Hebrew) birthday. It’s a day to reflect upon this past year and realize that all the things that seem so normal and regular for a baby’s development are really miraculous. There’s no real reason why a baby should smile at the right time, roll over when the books say she should, crawl, coo, and start to talk (and almost walk!) before their first birthday. Who says this is normal? Who says this is the way it’s supposed to be? Why is this the way things go? It really is more than just regular to see a little baby begin to develop into a real person!
It’s a day for me to realize that all the little things that go right, all her milestones at the right times are reasons to be thankful.
She’s had her fair share of doctor visits (okay, maybe we’ve been there too many times than I would have liked) but baruch Hashem they were for regular things-ear infections, viruses and well visits. But she is healthy. We don’t spend our time worrying and running from doctor to doctor…She’s talking more than her brother did at a year, saying mommy, tatty, baby, cracker, all done, bye-bye, she waves her hand, she says moo and baa (!!) and she tries to imitate things we say to her. She is a normal, regular, healthy baby but really…who defines normal? Who says this is the way things should be? When things go the way they should and everything is smooth, it is a time to stop and thank Hashem for the regular things.
And we learn this lesson from Chanukah. The first day that the oil burned was just as miraculous as the next seven days. And that is why Chanukah lasts for eight days instead of seven. To remind us that the things that seem so normal and regular are really reasons to celebrate and be thankful.
So spend some time today thinking about the things in your life that are not out of the ordinary. That are the way they should be. Thank Hashem for the regular, the normal, the routine…because they really are reasons to be grateful.
Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Yes. Small hidden miracles happen every day and we should look out for, notice and appreciate them!
Happy Chanukah! And happy birthday CG!
Anyone else have any reasons to share for the famous question of why Chanukah is eight days instead of seven? You can comment, submit it anonymously on the right sidebar or send me an email. If I get enough answers, maybe I’ll post it and share it with all you readers :-).
Labels:
Appreciation,
Baby,
Birthday,
Chanukah,
Miracle
Thursday, June 16, 2011
He is Two Years Old Now
Today was Shalom Baruch's 2nd birthday.There is so much that happens in two years of a person's life, especially in the first two years of their life. The growth and development that happens from the time a baby is born through the toddler stages are literally astounding. From learning how to smile, recognize peoples' faces, eat solids, crawl, walk, talk, put words and phrases together to come out with a coherent thought, play and share, it is truly a miracle to watch a child learn so much.
Today, I took time to remember the moment Shalom Baruch was born, the doctor's shout of "It's a BOY!" and my relief to have finally given birth. It wasn't until close to 14 hours later, when I was alone in the hospital bed without any visitors, while I was holding my son that it hit me: this is MY son. My own child. My precious baby that I will love and care for all my life. Nothing could take that love away.
I remember the intense feelings I felt as I looked into my little newborn's eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks, trembling and shaking and talking to my baby, telling him all I wanted, wished and dreamed for - all the hopes I had for this tiny, pure, innocent neshama.
I remember thinking at the time: there is no one else here in the room, just me, Hashem and my precious little one.
It was such an intense few minutes.
I'll remember it forever.
It makes me think, didn't we all start off this way?
Innocent.
Pure.
What happened?
How did we become so contaminated?
There is so much garbage out there.
We need to keep our eyes, our ears and especially our brains pure and clean.
The internet poses so many challenges. With just one curious click of the mouse, you can find yourself reading, watching or listening to something that certainly should not enter your soul, that pure neshama that you were born with.
So on this day, I take it upon myself, as a zechus for my own children, to be extra careful with the things I look at and read so that they remain as pure as possible. The challenge is incredible. In the summer especially, there are all kinds of people dressed (or not!) outside and it is so easy to take that second glance. It takes work to look away, to guard my eyes, to not click that link and read something that is not good for my neshama.
Don't we all want to keep our purity intact, to the biggest extent possible?
Today is also a day when I can look back and thank Hashem for the many gifts he has given me in these past two years.
A healthy child.
That alone is enough to fill pages and pages of reasons to be thankful.
Two healthy children.
I think I'll stop there.
Hashem, I can never thank you enough.
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Next World
The following question was emailed to me and I'm posting it here with permission from the one who asked.
Q: Is there a proof in the torah for techiyat hameisim and olam habah? Or is that the blind faith type of thing?
A: Everything in this world is a mirror or a mashal to the next world. There is something to learn from each thing that goes on in Olam Hazeh - this world that we can parallel to Olam Habah - the next world.
To answer your question, I want to tell you about a song called "Conversation in the Womb" which is based on a mashal (and I think a medrash or gemara but I'm not 100% sure the exact source) which shows that there is another world beyond the world we live in.
This conversation is between two unborn children (twins) in the womb of their mother. One is a pessimist and the other is an optimist. One believes that after living in the mother's womb, he will die and his life will be over. The other believes that there is a life, a beautiful, sunny, happy life beyond the life he knows right now. The first paragraph starts with the pessimist and the second switches to the optimist and so forth. Here are the words to the song:
My dear brother
Look around and tell me what your eyes behold
Don't deny that you see
It's only you and me
Our existence,
It is empty,
It is cold
Our existence,
It is empty,
It is cold
But dear brother
You must have faith that we are not the only ones
For in the distance there's a place
Where we'll stand up tall and straight
I believe there is a world to come
Yes, I believe that there is a world to come
My dear brother
Don't be blind,
Don't be stubborn,
Don't be set.
Imagination it's all right
But it won't light up the night
What you see is exactly what you get
Oh what you see is exactly what you get
But dear brother
You will surely find when all is said and done
That the future it will show
There is so much we don't know
Oh I believe that there is a world to come
Yes I believe that there is a world to come.
My dear brother
Where have you gone?
Is this the moment I have known?
I can faintly hear the cry
My dear brother must have died
It's all over now forever I'm alone
It's all over now forever I'm alone
But dear brother
Please don't mourn me when my life has just begun
For what you hear are sounds of joy
"Congratulations it's a boy"
Oh i believe that there is a world to come
Yes i believe that there is a world to come
Cuz what you hear are sounds of joy
"Congratulations it's a boy"
Soon you'll be here with me in this world to come
Soon you'll be here with me in this world to come.
So you see that birth is a mashal to the life we live. We only know the reality of our existence in this world and can't imagine anything different. But a time will come when we will live in Olam Habah and it will be a whole new incredible experience.
Hashem created the world and everything in it - there's a purpose and reason for our existence. He did so much to give us such a beautiful world. Do you think it's for nothing? That after this world where we work so hard, live full lives, do mitzvos, help others, connect to Hashem, learn Torah - and then what?!
The next world is the place where we will be rewarded for all the good we have done while we were alive in this world.
It says in Pirkei Avos (4:21), “HaOlam hazeh domeh li’prozdor bifei haOlam Habah; Haskein atzmacha baprozdor, k’dei she’tikaneis la’trakilin” - This world is but a hallway before the Next World; Prepare yourself in the corridor, in order to enter properly into the ballroom. Which means that this world is a place to prepare and get ready for the big event - the big party, the main place where all good things will happen! Let's use our time wisely!
Also, I recommend reading Beyond a Reasonable Doubt by Rabbi Shmuel Waldman. You sound like someone who is a thinker and who wants to know and understand more, which is so important! It's great to ask questions and feels so good when you get your answers. This book talks about many fundamentals of yiddishkeit and it will explain and answer many questions you may have. It is an excellent book that will give you the knowledge you want and help you understand things on a deeper level.
Q: Is there a proof in the torah for techiyat hameisim and olam habah? Or is that the blind faith type of thing?
A: Everything in this world is a mirror or a mashal to the next world. There is something to learn from each thing that goes on in Olam Hazeh - this world that we can parallel to Olam Habah - the next world.
To answer your question, I want to tell you about a song called "Conversation in the Womb" which is based on a mashal (and I think a medrash or gemara but I'm not 100% sure the exact source) which shows that there is another world beyond the world we live in.
This conversation is between two unborn children (twins) in the womb of their mother. One is a pessimist and the other is an optimist. One believes that after living in the mother's womb, he will die and his life will be over. The other believes that there is a life, a beautiful, sunny, happy life beyond the life he knows right now. The first paragraph starts with the pessimist and the second switches to the optimist and so forth. Here are the words to the song:
My dear brother
Look around and tell me what your eyes behold
Don't deny that you see
It's only you and me
Our existence,
It is empty,
It is cold
Our existence,
It is empty,
It is cold
But dear brother
You must have faith that we are not the only ones
For in the distance there's a place
Where we'll stand up tall and straight
I believe there is a world to come
Yes, I believe that there is a world to come
My dear brother
Don't be blind,
Don't be stubborn,
Don't be set.
Imagination it's all right
But it won't light up the night
What you see is exactly what you get
Oh what you see is exactly what you get
But dear brother
You will surely find when all is said and done
That the future it will show
There is so much we don't know
Oh I believe that there is a world to come
Yes I believe that there is a world to come.
My dear brother
Where have you gone?
Is this the moment I have known?
I can faintly hear the cry
My dear brother must have died
It's all over now forever I'm alone
It's all over now forever I'm alone
But dear brother
Please don't mourn me when my life has just begun
For what you hear are sounds of joy
"Congratulations it's a boy"
Oh i believe that there is a world to come
Yes i believe that there is a world to come
Cuz what you hear are sounds of joy
"Congratulations it's a boy"
Soon you'll be here with me in this world to come
Soon you'll be here with me in this world to come.
So you see that birth is a mashal to the life we live. We only know the reality of our existence in this world and can't imagine anything different. But a time will come when we will live in Olam Habah and it will be a whole new incredible experience.
Hashem created the world and everything in it - there's a purpose and reason for our existence. He did so much to give us such a beautiful world. Do you think it's for nothing? That after this world where we work so hard, live full lives, do mitzvos, help others, connect to Hashem, learn Torah - and then what?!
The next world is the place where we will be rewarded for all the good we have done while we were alive in this world.
It says in Pirkei Avos (4:21), “HaOlam hazeh domeh li’prozdor bifei haOlam Habah; Haskein atzmacha baprozdor, k’dei she’tikaneis la’trakilin” - This world is but a hallway before the Next World; Prepare yourself in the corridor, in order to enter properly into the ballroom. Which means that this world is a place to prepare and get ready for the big event - the big party, the main place where all good things will happen! Let's use our time wisely!
Also, I recommend reading Beyond a Reasonable Doubt by Rabbi Shmuel Waldman. You sound like someone who is a thinker and who wants to know and understand more, which is so important! It's great to ask questions and feels so good when you get your answers. This book talks about many fundamentals of yiddishkeit and it will explain and answer many questions you may have. It is an excellent book that will give you the knowledge you want and help you understand things on a deeper level.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Leaving Mitzraim - Beyond Logic
A very special someone went to a shiur by Rebbetzin Fink and highlighted two important and inspiring thoughts to share with all of you.
Do you ever wonder why 80 percent of Bnei Yisrael didn't want to go out of Mitzraim?
How many of us think that we would belong to the 20 percent that left Mitzraim? Don't we all think we would?
The Rambam says: What was so hard about leaving Mitzraim? It's like trying to convince an unborn baby to come into the world. Try to have a dialogue with an unborn baby. You say- "Come out into the world, You'll be able to do so many mitzvos and ma'asim tovim. There is so much you can do!" So the baby says "What's it gonna be like?" And you say " As soon as you come into this world, your lungs will be inflated and you will come out of the water." So the baby says "I would love to come into the world and do many mitzvos, but you are not realistic! You have to be reasonable! For me to survive, My lungs have to be completely deflated and I have to be submerged in water. So how do you expect me come out?" So you say " I know! The way you are now, this is what you need, but as soon as you come out to the world, things will be different! Whatever is fatal to you inside of the mother is vital to you outside the mother and vise versa!" So would anyone of YOU be convinced by such a logical argument???
Well, that's how much Bitachon it took for Klall Yisrael to be convinced to leave Mitzraim. They thought- realistically what will we live on?? So the answer would be, "Don't worry, if you follow HK"BH, You won't have to worry about those things." So 80 percent were very realistic.
The Torah is given to people who are unrealistic, because Torah is lemalah miderech hatevah. Klall Yisrael had in them the potential to live like that but it only emerged once they came out of Mitzraim. That's when the potential would be actualized! Yitzias Mitzraim-was to take them out to be their own independent self! When they were in Mitzraim, they were not independent!
To another person, it doesn't make sense to do certain things, to believe in Hashem and to trust Him! Certain aspects of bitachon are where the logic ends and the heart kicks in. We do not only follow Hashem when it makes sense to us, but also when we don't understand how things will work out, where the money will come from, where the shidduch will come from, how we will get a job, how we will make peace between two angry parties, where will that persons refuah come from when s/he is so sick...but when a person trusts in Hashem they KNOW that He can make things happen even if it looks like there is no hope! It does not make logical sense for certain things to happen but a person who has full, true emunah knows that Hashem is our loving Father and He can do anything!!
Another point about Pesach that I heard is that when you look at the Halochos of the Seder, there is a basic theme that runs through the whole seder, and that is that we have to be K'bnei Meluchim- you have to act like you are children of the king!
Do you ever wonder why 80 percent of Bnei Yisrael didn't want to go out of Mitzraim?
How many of us think that we would belong to the 20 percent that left Mitzraim? Don't we all think we would?
The Rambam says: What was so hard about leaving Mitzraim? It's like trying to convince an unborn baby to come into the world. Try to have a dialogue with an unborn baby. You say- "Come out into the world, You'll be able to do so many mitzvos and ma'asim tovim. There is so much you can do!" So the baby says "What's it gonna be like?" And you say " As soon as you come into this world, your lungs will be inflated and you will come out of the water." So the baby says "I would love to come into the world and do many mitzvos, but you are not realistic! You have to be reasonable! For me to survive, My lungs have to be completely deflated and I have to be submerged in water. So how do you expect me come out?" So you say " I know! The way you are now, this is what you need, but as soon as you come out to the world, things will be different! Whatever is fatal to you inside of the mother is vital to you outside the mother and vise versa!" So would anyone of YOU be convinced by such a logical argument???
Well, that's how much Bitachon it took for Klall Yisrael to be convinced to leave Mitzraim. They thought- realistically what will we live on?? So the answer would be, "Don't worry, if you follow HK"BH, You won't have to worry about those things." So 80 percent were very realistic.
The Torah is given to people who are unrealistic, because Torah is lemalah miderech hatevah. Klall Yisrael had in them the potential to live like that but it only emerged once they came out of Mitzraim. That's when the potential would be actualized! Yitzias Mitzraim-was to take them out to be their own independent self! When they were in Mitzraim, they were not independent!
To another person, it doesn't make sense to do certain things, to believe in Hashem and to trust Him! Certain aspects of bitachon are where the logic ends and the heart kicks in. We do not only follow Hashem when it makes sense to us, but also when we don't understand how things will work out, where the money will come from, where the shidduch will come from, how we will get a job, how we will make peace between two angry parties, where will that persons refuah come from when s/he is so sick...but when a person trusts in Hashem they KNOW that He can make things happen even if it looks like there is no hope! It does not make logical sense for certain things to happen but a person who has full, true emunah knows that Hashem is our loving Father and He can do anything!!
Another point about Pesach that I heard is that when you look at the Halochos of the Seder, there is a basic theme that runs through the whole seder, and that is that we have to be K'bnei Meluchim- you have to act like you are children of the king!
All people in general, are slaves to their desires. What is a melech? Who can consider themself a king?
A king is someone who knows how to control their desires.That is really a king! Not just to sit like a king, dress like a king, and having a table set for a king, but it is being able to have control over the 3 basic areas in your life.
The word MELECH stands for: 1. MEM stands for: Moach- (mind) 2. LAMED stands for: Lev- (heart) 3. CHAF stands for: Kavaid (Tayva-desire)
Having control over these 3 things, makes the person into a melech! But that is only if you put the Mem first. Because if you put the Mem last, that makes up KLUM- which means nothing! The idea of the lel seder is to be able to actualize the potential of being a melech- having the Moach first, and having that mind control the lev and the kavaid -to have control over your thoughts, feelings and physical desires.
So we all want to be like a melech and the more we act like a melech, the more we show that Hashem is Melech!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Pesach Thoughts
I posted this last year and wanted to share it with you again. These thoughts are both taken from the haggadah by R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l.
Pesach is the time of the birth of Klal Yisroel. Just like when a baby is born, all the nurses and doctors are running around, making sure everything is fine and there is no dirt around - all the tools are sterile and clean, when Pesach comes and we are about to be born anew, we must make sure there is no dirt, no yetzer hara around. And so we run around cleaning our houses and making sure there is not a speck of dirt to be found. We clean our houses thoroughly. When cleaning, we are getting rid of the yetzer hara inside of us. That is why it is so important not to even have one bit of chometz in the house and the punishment is so severe. A newborn baby who is treated with anything less than perfectly clean utensils can catch an infection chas v'shalom. Everything has to be sterile because the baby's immune system is not built up yet.
Since we are building ourselves into a person (and Klal Yisroel into a nation), we must start from scratch - from the beginning. And we must make sure there is no dirt, only purity and cleanliness.
During the seder, we go through many different steps to build ourselves as a person. That is Pesach, the time when we are born.
Then comes Shavuos-the bar mitzvah when we accept the mitzvos upon ourselves. But in order to receive the Torah, we have to prepare ourselves for it. That's what sefira is about. It's a time to prepare ourselves for kaballas haTorah. Each day, we can climb a rung in the spiritual ladder so when Shavuos comes, we are ready to accept the Torah.
Another interesting thing I read in R' Shimshon Pincus's hagaddah was on the paragraph of "Amar Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria, harei ani k'ven shiv'im shana" Rabbi Elazar the son of Azaria said, I am like someone who is seventy years old. Why was he like a seventy year old man? Because he was really eighteen years old but overnight Hashem made him grow a white beard so he should look like an older man and then people will accept what he would say.
Hashem made him grow a white beard. What's the difference between a black beard and a white beard, or the colors black and white?
The color black is a mixture of all the other colors. When a little child takes his crayons and colors a whole bunch of colors on a paper, it ends up one dark color - black. When a person is young, he has a black beard which signifies the reasons why he may do something spiritual. For example, a young man decides he wants to learn Torah. So why is he learning? He has a lot of different reasons. Maybe he wants to become a rosh yeshiva. Maybe he wants a good shidduch. Maybe he wants kavod, so people will look at him and say, "Wow! Did you see what a masmid he is?" and then he'll feel good inside. Maybe he wants to impress his childrens' future mechutanim and then his children will get good shidduchim.
The color white, on the other hand, is the purest color. It represents old age because at that point, a person doesn't have all these "other reasons" for doing mitzvos and spiritually uplifting acts. The old man knows he has no chance of becoming a rosh yeshiva anymore. Kavod?! Everybody knows who he really is! His children are already married so he has no one to impress. So why is he learning? Because Hashem said it's a mitzvah to learn His holy Torah!! This man doesn't have any outside factors influencing his decision of why he wants to do the mitzvos. He is nearing the end of his life and so his actions are pure and white - which is symbolized by the white beard.
I thought this was such a cool thing - it's so amazing that you can learn human nature from the haggadah!!
Anyone else have any interesting thoughts on Pesach or divrei torah they remember that they want to share?
* * *
Pesach is the time of the birth of Klal Yisroel. Just like when a baby is born, all the nurses and doctors are running around, making sure everything is fine and there is no dirt around - all the tools are sterile and clean, when Pesach comes and we are about to be born anew, we must make sure there is no dirt, no yetzer hara around. And so we run around cleaning our houses and making sure there is not a speck of dirt to be found. We clean our houses thoroughly. When cleaning, we are getting rid of the yetzer hara inside of us. That is why it is so important not to even have one bit of chometz in the house and the punishment is so severe. A newborn baby who is treated with anything less than perfectly clean utensils can catch an infection chas v'shalom. Everything has to be sterile because the baby's immune system is not built up yet.
Since we are building ourselves into a person (and Klal Yisroel into a nation), we must start from scratch - from the beginning. And we must make sure there is no dirt, only purity and cleanliness.
During the seder, we go through many different steps to build ourselves as a person. That is Pesach, the time when we are born.
Then comes Shavuos-the bar mitzvah when we accept the mitzvos upon ourselves. But in order to receive the Torah, we have to prepare ourselves for it. That's what sefira is about. It's a time to prepare ourselves for kaballas haTorah. Each day, we can climb a rung in the spiritual ladder so when Shavuos comes, we are ready to accept the Torah.
* * *
Another interesting thing I read in R' Shimshon Pincus's hagaddah was on the paragraph of "Amar Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria, harei ani k'ven shiv'im shana" Rabbi Elazar the son of Azaria said, I am like someone who is seventy years old. Why was he like a seventy year old man? Because he was really eighteen years old but overnight Hashem made him grow a white beard so he should look like an older man and then people will accept what he would say.
Hashem made him grow a white beard. What's the difference between a black beard and a white beard, or the colors black and white?
The color black is a mixture of all the other colors. When a little child takes his crayons and colors a whole bunch of colors on a paper, it ends up one dark color - black. When a person is young, he has a black beard which signifies the reasons why he may do something spiritual. For example, a young man decides he wants to learn Torah. So why is he learning? He has a lot of different reasons. Maybe he wants to become a rosh yeshiva. Maybe he wants a good shidduch. Maybe he wants kavod, so people will look at him and say, "Wow! Did you see what a masmid he is?" and then he'll feel good inside. Maybe he wants to impress his childrens' future mechutanim and then his children will get good shidduchim.
The color white, on the other hand, is the purest color. It represents old age because at that point, a person doesn't have all these "other reasons" for doing mitzvos and spiritually uplifting acts. The old man knows he has no chance of becoming a rosh yeshiva anymore. Kavod?! Everybody knows who he really is! His children are already married so he has no one to impress. So why is he learning? Because Hashem said it's a mitzvah to learn His holy Torah!! This man doesn't have any outside factors influencing his decision of why he wants to do the mitzvos. He is nearing the end of his life and so his actions are pure and white - which is symbolized by the white beard.
I thought this was such a cool thing - it's so amazing that you can learn human nature from the haggadah!!
Anyone else have any interesting thoughts on Pesach or divrei torah they remember that they want to share?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Cycle of Life
The cycle of life begins
When a child is born
The parents are rejoicing
While the angels above mourn
The baby is not capable
His parents take care of his every need
From the diapers that must be changed
To the food they are sure to feed
As he grows up slowly
He learns to do things on his own
Now he can care for himself
As he is already grown
The cycle of life continues
As the child becomes a man
He can now provide for himself
As life goes according to his plans
Then he grows even older
Things get harder to do
Now he begins to rely on others
The cycle now continues
The parents who provided for him
Are now long gone
It's time for him to try
To find help so he can move on
It's hard to be old
It's hard to age
No one could imagine
What it's like to be at the next stage
The wheel starts moving
And yes it moves real fast
Time passes by
It flies by oh so fast
Now the man who used to be a child
Relies on his children to be there
He needs them to do simple tasks
And they take turns taking care
The cycle of life that began with his parents
Now continues as his children see
That he needs them to be there
And watch over him wholeheartedly
This is the message I am trying to bring out
That life begins and ends this way
We rely on others from the very beginning
And at the end it is also the same
Let's try to keep in mind
That we are not here forever
This is something very important
For each of us to remember
If we took advantage of our time
And spent it wisely too
We'd look back at our life
With pride in everything we did do
When a child is born
The parents are rejoicing
While the angels above mourn
The baby is not capable
His parents take care of his every need
From the diapers that must be changed
To the food they are sure to feed
As he grows up slowly
He learns to do things on his own
Now he can care for himself
As he is already grown
The cycle of life continues
As the child becomes a man
He can now provide for himself
As life goes according to his plans
Then he grows even older
Things get harder to do
Now he begins to rely on others
The cycle now continues
The parents who provided for him
Are now long gone
It's time for him to try
To find help so he can move on
It's hard to be old
It's hard to age
No one could imagine
What it's like to be at the next stage
The wheel starts moving
And yes it moves real fast
Time passes by
It flies by oh so fast
Now the man who used to be a child
Relies on his children to be there
He needs them to do simple tasks
And they take turns taking care
The cycle of life that began with his parents
Now continues as his children see
That he needs them to be there
And watch over him wholeheartedly
This is the message I am trying to bring out
That life begins and ends this way
We rely on others from the very beginning
And at the end it is also the same
Let's try to keep in mind
That we are not here forever
This is something very important
For each of us to remember
If we took advantage of our time
And spent it wisely too
We'd look back at our life
With pride in everything we did do
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Mitzvos-Even When We Don't Understand
I posted this a while ago and wanted to share it with you once more.
I was recently at a bris and heard a very powerful thought from R' Viegler that I wanted to share with you.
Yishmael had a bris milah when he was 13 years and Yitzchok had it when he was just 8 days old. If you think about it, which one seems greater, the one who had it when he was an adult and was able to understand what was going on or the one who had it as a newborn baby and had no say in the matter? I'd say for sure the adult who agreed to have a bris milah at 13 years of age, with all that it entails! A baby doesn't even realize what is going on and doesn't give his consent to what his parents do. And why is it that we give our children a bris milah when they turn 8 days old? Shouldn't we wait until they are old enough to understand and agree that this is what they want to do? Won't their reward be so much greater?
To better explain this, let's try to understand what the difference is between Yishmael's doing a bris at 13 and Yitzchok at 8 days. Yishmoel says, "You see, I'm so great! I tell Hashem that now that I am old enough to understand your ways, I am ready to do this special mitzvah." In essence, he is saying that as long as he understands the reasoning behind a mitzvah and it all makes sense to him, he will do it.
Yitzchok, on the other hand, says, "Hashem, you are so great and there is no way I can fully understand the things you do. Therefore, I am willing to go through the bris milah at such a young age, an age where my mind is not mature enough to understand why I am doing it. And this is the message of my life. I will do mitzvos because I love you and because you commanded me to, not because I understand the reasons why you told me to do them."
This is the message that we wish to convey to our children when we do the bris at 8 days old. You may not understand why we do it but you must remember that this is the essence of a Jew. Although we don't always understand the reasons for why Hashem does things, we will always believe in Him will full faith that He has the best in mind for us. We do the mitzvos because He commanded us, not only because we understand. Because if we only do mitzvos because we understand them, what will happen when there is something we don't understantd? Will we stop? No! Because we don't work that way! We do things out of love for Hashem, love for His Torah and mitzvos! We are so lucky to live this way!!
That is not to say that we cannot ask, that we cannot try to understand. On the contrary, the questions we ask and the answers we get deepen the love we have for the mitzvos and make us fulfill them with more enthusiasm. (I even wrote a post about that here.) But we have to realize and appreciate that we do the mitzvos because Hashem commanded us to, even when we don't know why. What an important message to give over to our children!
I was recently at a bris and heard a very powerful thought from R' Viegler that I wanted to share with you.
Yishmael had a bris milah when he was 13 years and Yitzchok had it when he was just 8 days old. If you think about it, which one seems greater, the one who had it when he was an adult and was able to understand what was going on or the one who had it as a newborn baby and had no say in the matter? I'd say for sure the adult who agreed to have a bris milah at 13 years of age, with all that it entails! A baby doesn't even realize what is going on and doesn't give his consent to what his parents do. And why is it that we give our children a bris milah when they turn 8 days old? Shouldn't we wait until they are old enough to understand and agree that this is what they want to do? Won't their reward be so much greater?
To better explain this, let's try to understand what the difference is between Yishmael's doing a bris at 13 and Yitzchok at 8 days. Yishmoel says, "You see, I'm so great! I tell Hashem that now that I am old enough to understand your ways, I am ready to do this special mitzvah." In essence, he is saying that as long as he understands the reasoning behind a mitzvah and it all makes sense to him, he will do it.
Yitzchok, on the other hand, says, "Hashem, you are so great and there is no way I can fully understand the things you do. Therefore, I am willing to go through the bris milah at such a young age, an age where my mind is not mature enough to understand why I am doing it. And this is the message of my life. I will do mitzvos because I love you and because you commanded me to, not because I understand the reasons why you told me to do them."
This is the message that we wish to convey to our children when we do the bris at 8 days old. You may not understand why we do it but you must remember that this is the essence of a Jew. Although we don't always understand the reasons for why Hashem does things, we will always believe in Him will full faith that He has the best in mind for us. We do the mitzvos because He commanded us, not only because we understand. Because if we only do mitzvos because we understand them, what will happen when there is something we don't understantd? Will we stop? No! Because we don't work that way! We do things out of love for Hashem, love for His Torah and mitzvos! We are so lucky to live this way!!
That is not to say that we cannot ask, that we cannot try to understand. On the contrary, the questions we ask and the answers we get deepen the love we have for the mitzvos and make us fulfill them with more enthusiasm. (I even wrote a post about that here.) But we have to realize and appreciate that we do the mitzvos because Hashem commanded us to, even when we don't know why. What an important message to give over to our children!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tears for Tefillah
Sometimes you just get frustrated. It's a fact of life. Things don't always go the way you want them to go and you just feel lost. You try to hold back the tears but you can't. And you just start to cry.
It's not a bad thing to cry. It's actually healthy. It's a way to let your emotions out and you feel better after wards. But sometimes you are crying for things that in reality are petty. Little things. Or many little things that piled up and by the time the day is done you are spent and need to just get it all out of your system. It's not one big thing but many small things that went wrong and then one tiny little frustration was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Tears are very powerful. It says, "Sha'arei dema'os lo ninalu" - the gates of tears are never closed. When a person davens with their heart, with their emotions and their tears, their tefillos go straight up. So if the gates of tears are never closed, why are there gates in the first place?
Because sometimes a person cries for silly things. Petty things. Like at the end of a frustrating day. You just have to let your emotions out and you just cry. But shouldn't you take advantage of the power of tears and do something worthwhile with them?
So how about this. When you feel you need to cry for those annoying things that went wrong during your day, use that powerful opportunity for tefillah so you can bring about something really big. Instead of just letting those tears slide down your cheeks and disappear into thin air, let those tears travel upwards...to the heavens...and accomplish something with them.
When you are annoyed and those tears are falling down your cheeks, take a moment to use those tears to daven for something you need. Or for someone you know who needs something. Or for the entire Jewish Nation who is waiting for our ultimate dream to come true!
Today, the straw broke my back (for the what number time this week?!). There are so many little annoyances that can come along with raising children. It's so normal. It only makes sense that a mother like me will start to cry. But while I was crying together with my baby, I thought to myself, why not use this opportunity to daven for her future? And that's what I did. For those two extra minutes, I hugged my daughter real tight and begged Hashem to give her a good life.
So although I hope for all of you never to have to shed a tear, I know it's only normal for the little things that go wrong on a regular day to take its toll on a person. And while you will be crying, take a moment to daven for something you are waiting for...because you never know which tefillah will make that yeshuah, that salvation you so desperately are waiting for finally happen.
I'm gonna run...I hear Chaya Gitty crying...
It's not a bad thing to cry. It's actually healthy. It's a way to let your emotions out and you feel better after wards. But sometimes you are crying for things that in reality are petty. Little things. Or many little things that piled up and by the time the day is done you are spent and need to just get it all out of your system. It's not one big thing but many small things that went wrong and then one tiny little frustration was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Tears are very powerful. It says, "Sha'arei dema'os lo ninalu" - the gates of tears are never closed. When a person davens with their heart, with their emotions and their tears, their tefillos go straight up. So if the gates of tears are never closed, why are there gates in the first place?
Because sometimes a person cries for silly things. Petty things. Like at the end of a frustrating day. You just have to let your emotions out and you just cry. But shouldn't you take advantage of the power of tears and do something worthwhile with them?
So how about this. When you feel you need to cry for those annoying things that went wrong during your day, use that powerful opportunity for tefillah so you can bring about something really big. Instead of just letting those tears slide down your cheeks and disappear into thin air, let those tears travel upwards...to the heavens...and accomplish something with them.
When you are annoyed and those tears are falling down your cheeks, take a moment to use those tears to daven for something you need. Or for someone you know who needs something. Or for the entire Jewish Nation who is waiting for our ultimate dream to come true!
Today, the straw broke my back (for the what number time this week?!). There are so many little annoyances that can come along with raising children. It's so normal. It only makes sense that a mother like me will start to cry. But while I was crying together with my baby, I thought to myself, why not use this opportunity to daven for her future? And that's what I did. For those two extra minutes, I hugged my daughter real tight and begged Hashem to give her a good life.
So although I hope for all of you never to have to shed a tear, I know it's only normal for the little things that go wrong on a regular day to take its toll on a person. And while you will be crying, take a moment to daven for something you are waiting for...because you never know which tefillah will make that yeshuah, that salvation you so desperately are waiting for finally happen.
I'm gonna run...I hear Chaya Gitty crying...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A Newborn Baby
Looking at a newborn baby is always a reason to marvel at the awesomeness of Hashem's creations. You see a tiny little person with all the body parts that an adult has, working perfectly. The same two eyes that you and I have, the newborn has. Ten fingers, ten toes, a heart that beats (ever so fast!) and a digestive system that works just so. It's just unbelievable to see it all in a tiny human being.
I am holding a precious little newborn baby as I type this. She's all dressed in pink (what other color can you dress a girl in anyway?!) and is looking around at the big world around her. Just one week ago, she made her grand entrance into this world with a loud "waaa" and I got to shout, "It's a GIRL!" with such excitement! Baruch Hashem another healthy baby has been born!
I take a look at this little princess who doesn't know anything about the world and just hope. Hope for her to grow up happy, healthy and always know the beauty of the life she was so lucky to be born into. A little baby is just so pure, so innocent...there's so much we can give over to them...they're like a piece of cement - they will learn whatever you teach them. What an awesome responsibility!
When I see a newborn baby, I cannot help but marvel at the fact that all of us started out like this. It is such a miracle to see how a child grows - from something so tiny into a little baby and then into a toddler...where did all that time go? And that we also went through these same growing stages...to be where we are today.
I look at her and think: she is pure potential. She has not done anything yet - not good and not bad. She has the ability to become...anything!!
And the truth is, each one of you can too! You have unlimited potential. When you open your eyes in the morning, you are about to begin a brand new day - with choices that only you can make and decisions that only you can come to. You can make it a great day just by choosing to do the right thing. You can overcome obstacles, you can grow, you can soar!
There's so much to learn from a newborn. And there's so much to teach to a newborn. I hope to be able to teach her all about goodness, truth, happiness, honesty and all the other important things she needs to know in order to live a fulfilling and productive life iy"h.
We named our daughter this past Shabbos - Chaya was a name we added which means life and Gittel is after a relative who was killed in the holocaust, which means good. We are going to call her Chaya Gitty (or CG for short) and we hope and pray that she will always have a good life!
I probably said it a little better when Shalom Baruch was born and my thoughts were more coherent but for now, that's my exciting news! Mazel tov and may we hear good news from all!!
(Sorry if this post doesn't flow...I am pretty tired and not going on that much sleep...)
I am holding a precious little newborn baby as I type this. She's all dressed in pink (what other color can you dress a girl in anyway?!) and is looking around at the big world around her. Just one week ago, she made her grand entrance into this world with a loud "waaa" and I got to shout, "It's a GIRL!" with such excitement! Baruch Hashem another healthy baby has been born!
I take a look at this little princess who doesn't know anything about the world and just hope. Hope for her to grow up happy, healthy and always know the beauty of the life she was so lucky to be born into. A little baby is just so pure, so innocent...there's so much we can give over to them...they're like a piece of cement - they will learn whatever you teach them. What an awesome responsibility!
When I see a newborn baby, I cannot help but marvel at the fact that all of us started out like this. It is such a miracle to see how a child grows - from something so tiny into a little baby and then into a toddler...where did all that time go? And that we also went through these same growing stages...to be where we are today.
I look at her and think: she is pure potential. She has not done anything yet - not good and not bad. She has the ability to become...anything!!
And the truth is, each one of you can too! You have unlimited potential. When you open your eyes in the morning, you are about to begin a brand new day - with choices that only you can make and decisions that only you can come to. You can make it a great day just by choosing to do the right thing. You can overcome obstacles, you can grow, you can soar!
There's so much to learn from a newborn. And there's so much to teach to a newborn. I hope to be able to teach her all about goodness, truth, happiness, honesty and all the other important things she needs to know in order to live a fulfilling and productive life iy"h.
We named our daughter this past Shabbos - Chaya was a name we added which means life and Gittel is after a relative who was killed in the holocaust, which means good. We are going to call her Chaya Gitty (or CG for short) and we hope and pray that she will always have a good life!
I probably said it a little better when Shalom Baruch was born and my thoughts were more coherent but for now, that's my exciting news! Mazel tov and may we hear good news from all!!
(Sorry if this post doesn't flow...I am pretty tired and not going on that much sleep...)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thoughts After the Fifth Yartzheit
Last year, after posting many stories and thoughts about Shalom a"h and sending around emails about him, I got a letter from someone that really touched my heart. You can read that letter over here.
I was so amazed at how this girl took the message to heart and took something concrete upon herself after she heard all the special things about my brother. That to me is the most comforting - when I see that other people do mitzvos and change themselves because they were inspired by the things Shalom a"h did. You see that the little things that people do, those are really big. That's what made him special. That he went out of his way to do small acts of chessed.
When I was in high school and had to stay late for some extra curricular activities and I was hungry, Shalom biked right over with some delicious supper for me. As soon as I called my house, he stopped whatever he was doing, got the food for and brought it over as if it was no big deal. He was always ready and available to help everyone with whatever they needed.
One thing I wanted to share with you is that the boy who was up in the tree with Shalom (and was having a conversation with him right before he fell down) just got married - on the night of the yartzheit. So although his chuppah was before sunset (so it counts as the day before), he was dancing and celebrating his wedding on the yartzheit itself - and I'm sure Shalom a"h was dancing on high and smiling along with all the people at the simcha. The boy's mother called my mother to invite her to the first sheva brachos which would take place on Shalom's 5th yartzheit - and the chosson would be making a siyum l'ilui nishmas my brother! Is that not amazing?!
Yesterday was also my nephew's first birthday. He was born on the yartzheit and was named Shalom Baruch after Shalom a"h. It was such a nechama for our family that a baby boy was born on this special day. I wrote about it last year right here, how I truly felt that Hashem was giving us a hug and comforting us all along. Since Shalom was niftar before he had a chance to get married and have children, having relatives named after is a way of continuing on his name, his legacy.
The message I try to take from this day is that a person never knows how much longer they have to live. And once a person is niftar, that's it! There are no more chances to do more mitzvos or improve one's character! We must take advantage of the time we have while we are here to do things that make us better people, to improve the lives of others and come closer to Hashem.
Shalom a"h focused on the little things. He found ways to do small acts of kindness for other people, quietly, without getting attention for the things he did. He didn't want anyone to know how special he was. He just wanted to be the best person he can be - which he was. Now, it's up to us to learn from all the things he did and try to follow in his footsteps.
Yesterday, I lit a candle and davened and cried. The reason why we light a candle on someone's yartzheit is because the neshama of a person is compared to a candle. It says "ner elokim nishmas adam." There is a burning desire inside each and every one of us to do the right thing and aim high. Whichever way you turn a candle, the flame will always go upwards. Try it! Turn a candle upside down and watch how the flame still burns upwards. This is to show that a person's neshama always wants to reach up and come closer to Hashem and no matter which way you turn, what situation a person is in, there is always that flame, that desire to be a good person and reach for the stars!
Also, when you light one candle from an existing flame, you do not diminish the light that the original flame had. This is how it is with spirituality, with neshamos and with learning from other people. You can give and give and it wont take away from the original light. When we learn from my brother and try to be like him, he will shine so brightly and we too will illuminate our own lives.
May we all be zoche to follow in Shalom a"h's ways and take advantage of the time we have here to come closer to Hashem each and every day!
I was so amazed at how this girl took the message to heart and took something concrete upon herself after she heard all the special things about my brother. That to me is the most comforting - when I see that other people do mitzvos and change themselves because they were inspired by the things Shalom a"h did. You see that the little things that people do, those are really big. That's what made him special. That he went out of his way to do small acts of chessed.
When I was in high school and had to stay late for some extra curricular activities and I was hungry, Shalom biked right over with some delicious supper for me. As soon as I called my house, he stopped whatever he was doing, got the food for and brought it over as if it was no big deal. He was always ready and available to help everyone with whatever they needed.
One thing I wanted to share with you is that the boy who was up in the tree with Shalom (and was having a conversation with him right before he fell down) just got married - on the night of the yartzheit. So although his chuppah was before sunset (so it counts as the day before), he was dancing and celebrating his wedding on the yartzheit itself - and I'm sure Shalom a"h was dancing on high and smiling along with all the people at the simcha. The boy's mother called my mother to invite her to the first sheva brachos which would take place on Shalom's 5th yartzheit - and the chosson would be making a siyum l'ilui nishmas my brother! Is that not amazing?!
Yesterday was also my nephew's first birthday. He was born on the yartzheit and was named Shalom Baruch after Shalom a"h. It was such a nechama for our family that a baby boy was born on this special day. I wrote about it last year right here, how I truly felt that Hashem was giving us a hug and comforting us all along. Since Shalom was niftar before he had a chance to get married and have children, having relatives named after is a way of continuing on his name, his legacy.
The message I try to take from this day is that a person never knows how much longer they have to live. And once a person is niftar, that's it! There are no more chances to do more mitzvos or improve one's character! We must take advantage of the time we have while we are here to do things that make us better people, to improve the lives of others and come closer to Hashem.
Shalom a"h focused on the little things. He found ways to do small acts of kindness for other people, quietly, without getting attention for the things he did. He didn't want anyone to know how special he was. He just wanted to be the best person he can be - which he was. Now, it's up to us to learn from all the things he did and try to follow in his footsteps.
Yesterday, I lit a candle and davened and cried. The reason why we light a candle on someone's yartzheit is because the neshama of a person is compared to a candle. It says "ner elokim nishmas adam." There is a burning desire inside each and every one of us to do the right thing and aim high. Whichever way you turn a candle, the flame will always go upwards. Try it! Turn a candle upside down and watch how the flame still burns upwards. This is to show that a person's neshama always wants to reach up and come closer to Hashem and no matter which way you turn, what situation a person is in, there is always that flame, that desire to be a good person and reach for the stars!
Also, when you light one candle from an existing flame, you do not diminish the light that the original flame had. This is how it is with spirituality, with neshamos and with learning from other people. You can give and give and it wont take away from the original light. When we learn from my brother and try to be like him, he will shine so brightly and we too will illuminate our own lives.
May we all be zoche to follow in Shalom a"h's ways and take advantage of the time we have here to come closer to Hashem each and every day!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Mitzvos-Even When We Don't Understand
I was recently at a bris and heard a very powerful thought from R' Viegler that I wanted to share with you.
Yishmael had a bris milah when he was 13 years and Yitzchok had it when he was just 8 days old. If you think about it, which one seems greater, the one who had it when he was an adult and was able to understand what was going on or the one who had it as a newborn baby and had no say in the matter? I'd say for sure the adult who agreed to have a bris milah at 13 years of age, with all that it entails! A baby doesn't even realize what is going on and doesn't give his consent to what his parents do. And why is it that we give our children a bris milah when they turn 8 days old? Shouldn't we wait until they are old enough to understand and agree that this is what they want to do? Won't their reward be so much greater?
To better explain this, let's try to understand what the difference is between Yishmael's doing a bris at 13 and Yitzchok at 8 days. Yishmoel says, "You see, I'm so great! I tell Hashem that now that I am old enough to understand your ways, I am ready to do this special mitzvah." In essence, he is saying that as long as he understands the reasoning behind a mitzvah and it all makes sense to him, he will do it.
Yitzchok, on the other hand, says, "Hashem, you are so great and there is no way I can fully understand the things you do. Therefore, I am willing to go through the bris milah at such a young age, an age where my mind is not mature enough to understand why I am doing it. And this is the message of my life. I will do mitzvos because I love you and because you commanded me to, not because I understand the reasons why you told me to do them."
This is the message that we wish to convey to our children when we do the bris at 8 days old. You may not understand why we do it but you must remember that this is the essence of a Jew. Although we don't always understand the reasons for why Hashem does things, we will always believe in Him will full faith that He has the best in mind for us. We do the mitzvos because He commanded us, not only because we understand. Because if we only do mitzvos because we understand them, what will happen when there is something we don't understantd? Will we stop? No! Because we don't work that way! We do things out of love for Hashem, love for His Torah and mitzvos! We are so lucky to live this way!!
That is not to say that we cannot ask, that we cannot try to understand. On the contrary, the questions we ask and the answers we get deepen the love we have for the mitzvos and make us fulfill them with more enthusiasm. (I even wrote a post about that here.) But we have to realize and appreciate that we do the mitzvos because Hashem commanded us to, even when we don't know why. What an important message to give over to our children!
Yishmael had a bris milah when he was 13 years and Yitzchok had it when he was just 8 days old. If you think about it, which one seems greater, the one who had it when he was an adult and was able to understand what was going on or the one who had it as a newborn baby and had no say in the matter? I'd say for sure the adult who agreed to have a bris milah at 13 years of age, with all that it entails! A baby doesn't even realize what is going on and doesn't give his consent to what his parents do. And why is it that we give our children a bris milah when they turn 8 days old? Shouldn't we wait until they are old enough to understand and agree that this is what they want to do? Won't their reward be so much greater?
To better explain this, let's try to understand what the difference is between Yishmael's doing a bris at 13 and Yitzchok at 8 days. Yishmoel says, "You see, I'm so great! I tell Hashem that now that I am old enough to understand your ways, I am ready to do this special mitzvah." In essence, he is saying that as long as he understands the reasoning behind a mitzvah and it all makes sense to him, he will do it.
Yitzchok, on the other hand, says, "Hashem, you are so great and there is no way I can fully understand the things you do. Therefore, I am willing to go through the bris milah at such a young age, an age where my mind is not mature enough to understand why I am doing it. And this is the message of my life. I will do mitzvos because I love you and because you commanded me to, not because I understand the reasons why you told me to do them."
This is the message that we wish to convey to our children when we do the bris at 8 days old. You may not understand why we do it but you must remember that this is the essence of a Jew. Although we don't always understand the reasons for why Hashem does things, we will always believe in Him will full faith that He has the best in mind for us. We do the mitzvos because He commanded us, not only because we understand. Because if we only do mitzvos because we understand them, what will happen when there is something we don't understantd? Will we stop? No! Because we don't work that way! We do things out of love for Hashem, love for His Torah and mitzvos! We are so lucky to live this way!!
That is not to say that we cannot ask, that we cannot try to understand. On the contrary, the questions we ask and the answers we get deepen the love we have for the mitzvos and make us fulfill them with more enthusiasm. (I even wrote a post about that here.) But we have to realize and appreciate that we do the mitzvos because Hashem commanded us to, even when we don't know why. What an important message to give over to our children!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Crying for Moshiach
A story is told of a mother whose life was threatened during childbirth; her unborn child's life was threatened as well.
The Doctor said that he couldn't save both; it will have to be either the Mother or the baby.
The Mother decided that she would give up her life for her baby.
And so it was, the Doctor saved the baby and the Mother passed away. The baby was a boy and years passed and it was the day of his Bar-Mitzvah. His father took him to the Kever of his mother so that he could daven.
It was emotional for his father but the child was unemotional and passive. He didn't cry and he wanted to leave quickly so that he could get on with the Bar-Mitzvah celebrations.
After they left, his father turned to him and said, "How could you not cry, this was your Mother and she gave up her life for you!"
If we don't make an effort to concentrate on the loss of the Bais HaMikdash we are as unemotional as this son!
The Doctor said that he couldn't save both; it will have to be either the Mother or the baby.
The Mother decided that she would give up her life for her baby.
And so it was, the Doctor saved the baby and the Mother passed away. The baby was a boy and years passed and it was the day of his Bar-Mitzvah. His father took him to the Kever of his mother so that he could daven.
It was emotional for his father but the child was unemotional and passive. He didn't cry and he wanted to leave quickly so that he could get on with the Bar-Mitzvah celebrations.
After they left, his father turned to him and said, "How could you not cry, this was your Mother and she gave up her life for you!"
If we don't make an effort to concentrate on the loss of the Bais HaMikdash we are as unemotional as this son!
Hashem destroyed his Bais HaMikdash in order to spare us! He took out His wrath on wood and stone rather than annihilate the Jewish people! How can we not cry over it?
Do we begin to understand what we are crying about? Why we should cry? We need to spend some time, now during the nine days, to think about what we are missing! We are missing that unbelievable clarity and closeness to Hashem that existed during that time! We are so far away, so distant and want to be so close...
So spend some time during the next week thinking about why you want moshiach to come and then daven hard for it...because we need him badly!!
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