How Can This Be?

Motzei Tisha Bav 2024
Eicha?
How can this be?
How can we still
Be waiting
Yearning
Hoping
For the Geula 
And it still
Has not arrived?
How can we have
Gone through
Another Tisha Bav 
Another fast
Cried
Mourned
About the past
While hoping 
For 
A brighter future
And it still remains
In the future?
Eicha?
How can this be?
How can we still 
Be waiting
Yearning
Hoping
For change?
And the change 
We wait for
Still hasn't 
Come to be?
What change
Do we have to make
Within ourselves
To bring about
The Ultimate change
The change 
We are waiting for
So desperately?
We went through 
The motions
And hopefully 
Aroused 
Emotions
We sat on low chairs
Didn't eat
Or drink
Tried to connect 
And tried to think
We watched videos
That awakened
Even the strongest
Of hearts
Our hearts
Opened up
To the pain 
Of our brothers
And sisters
Who are mothers
And fathers
Sons 
And daughters
Who experienced 
A painful year
We shed tears
We felt the pain
Of galus
In a way
We haven't felt
In previous years
And now...
We continue
To wait
We hoped
There would be
A change
For our nation
We dreamed
Of the day
When it all
Would change
And we wished
Today 
Would have been
That day
But Hashem
Who knows
And sees
Beyond what we
Can see
Knows
That we need
A little more
Time 
Perhaps
The time
Is almost
Here
We hope
And wish
And dream
And yearn
And pray
For the day
When the time
Will be ripe
Until then...
Hashem...?
Please give us
The strength 
To continue 
Hoping
Wishing
Dreaming
And praying
Please help us
Notice
What we need
To change
What we need
To do
So we can
Come closer 
To You
And help us
Take the steps
To come back
To You.
It was a hard day
A heavy day
And we need You
To carry us through
Whatever comes next
Please, Hashem
Look into our hearts
See our yearning 
And our desire to
Connect
To You
To come back
To You
And bring us back
Bring us home
To You.

Home

He's coming home!
We can all feel the excitement
A corona patient
We've all been davening for
Will be sent out 
Of rehab
And allowed to go
Back home
To his family
Such great news!
Not a day went by
That he wasn't missed
In his home
Not a day went by
That his family didn't 
Pray
For his return home.
And I think about
Our home
And our time away
It's been so long
How many days go by
Before we think about it?
How many days
Have gone by
Without us thinking
About our home
And how much we miss
Our true home?
Hashem...?
Don't you see the difference?
It's been too long
We've been away 
For much too long
Not a few months
Like this patient
Not a few years
Like some prisoner
Away from home
Hashem...?
It's been thousands of years
Of course it's not the same!
Of course we can't long for home
In the same way
As someone who has
Experienced home
But sometimes
We get a little peek
A little taste 
A little inspiration
To make us long for
To make us yearn for
To give us this feeling
That there's something we're missing
That we're missing
YOU
And for just a fleeting moment
Our heart tears up
And our eyes get prickly
And we think about crying
And we just want
YOU
We want to come home
We yearn to come home
We want to be with you
Even though we don't know
What that even means
We can think back to times
When we felt you so strongly
And we want to feel that
Again.
Hashem...?
Can you make it happen?
You can.
The question is...
When?
When will you make it happen?
We are yearning
We are hoping
We are praying
We are wishing
To just come back
To come back home.
Bring us back.
Bring us home.

Flame of Hope

There are many answers to the famous question of the Bais Yosef. If there was enough oil to last for one day, why do we celebrate Chanukah for eight days if the miracle was only for the seven extra days that the oil burned?

There is a powerful lesson to be learned from that first day. 

We are commemorating the fact that those Jews even bothered lighting the oil they had on that first day. They could have said, if we only have enough oil for one day and it'll take eight days to get new oil, we'll light it the day before we have new oil so we will have continuous light from the day we light it. But a Jew doesn't work that way. A Jew doesn't look at his resources and decide what the outcome will be based on the facts. He relies on Hashem for results. He does the best he can with whatever he has and leaves the rest in Hashem's hands.

This is what we are celebrating. And we remember this lesson each year when we celebrate Chanukah for eight days instead of seven. That first day is what we are celebrating. It's not extra. It's essential. It helps us internalize that no matter how dark things are or how challenging our lives are, we do whatever we can with the resources we have and have faith in Hashem that things will work out in the best possible way.

We all have goals, hopes and dreams. And sometimes we don't know how we'll ever be able to accomplish the things we want. What we want seems too difficult to achieve. 

But we have to try. We need to put our best foot forward and utilize whatever little abilities we have to start. And then we trust in Hashem to help us reach the finish line.

This is what those Jews did so many years ago. They didn't have enough oil to last for eight days, until they'd have more, pure oil. But it didn't matter. They lit what they had and Hashem allowed that light, and essentially the flame of hope and faith, to remain lit until they'd have more oil to keep the menorah's light glowing.

It's the first day of Chanukah that we are memorializing. That's the day that is most important to all the days that come afterwards. It's the day that infuses hope into the rest of this holiday and into the darkness of our lives. The first day teaches us to take that first step when we are scared, to try when we are unsure if we'll succeed. Because ultimately, it's our emunah when things are tough that will help us pull through and keep trying.

May we be able to take this lesson to heart, have hope when things are dark, and try even when we don't have enough resources to achieve the outcome we're hoping for. And may Hashem reward us for having faith in Him by exceeding our hopes and dreams!

Happy Chanukah! 

Parshas Pinchas

After he is told that he will not lead Jewish People into the Promised Land, Moshe Rabbeinu asks Hashem to appoint someone to take his place. Hashem tells Moshe that Yehoshua will be the one to lead the Nation after he dies.

Just like Hashem would never abandon His nation and leave them without a leader, Hashem would never abandon any one of us. He already has the salvation in place before He gives us a challenge. We can strengthen ourselves with this truth by noticing that when we are going through something difficult, Hashem sends a messenger, someone to give us advice or support to help us get through that tough time.

May we be able to help our friends and neighbors when they are struggling and always stay strong in our faith that Hashem has a salvation ready for us before He sends any challenge our way!

Parshas Lech Lecha

Avram is childless and after marrying Hagar, she gives birth to Yishmael. He continues to wait for his wife Sarah to have a child and eventually (in next week's parsha), Yitzchok is born.

In life, we often have to wait for things. We don't reach the next stage at the same time as our friends and peers and it sometimes feels unfair. We need to remember that Hashem has a plan and we can't understand why He wants us to wait or why He isn't giving us exactly what we want at the time we want it. And we also need to keep believing in Him and hoping for our salvation to come...because it is in His hands and He can make it happen!

May we be able to keep our faith in Hashem strong, keep davening and hoping for the changes we wish for and merit to see and experience the good we are waiting for!

Stay Strong

Life is so full
And empty too
Life is undefined
It's up to you
To give it meaning
Or lose it all
Life must be lived
Don't let yourself fall
There's so much possibility
In this life
So much creativity
For your life
You have inner talent
Covered up by stuff
Stuff people told you
You think you're not enough
You've got what it takes
To live this life
But you think you can't make
Yourself a better life
You're falling down
Because of what you've been through
You have to remember
You'll get through this too
You can't let yourself 
Be dragged way down
You're stronger than that
Get rid of that frown
Gotta turn it around dear
Face your fears
Yes, this life is scary
But don't be wary
You've got strengths hidden
Deep inside you
Gotta uncover it
That's the truth
Face each day with a smile
Even if it's fake
Because one day you'll see
No one can break
You
Because you fought so hard
That it became part of you
That fake smile
Went that mile
And now it's real
And no one can steal
That true satisfaction
Away from you
The satisfaction
Of victory
Of not giving in
Never claim defeat
And then you'll truly win
Even if you feel
That life's knocking you down
Fight back harder
Don't let yourself drown
In tears
Or fears
About the coming years
Live in the present
One day at a time
One foot in front of the other
That's the way to shine
Don't think too far ahead
Just about today
Live life slowly
That's the way
To succeed
To overcome
This challenge so great
It's also the way
You'll become great
Don't get pulled into pettiness
Keep your priorities straight
Lift your head up high
And don't you wait
To find moments in your day
When you can rise above
Your heart will expand
And you'll feel self love
A genuine feeling
When you do what's right
A deep, inner peace
No one knows this fight
The battle that you win
Gives you true satisfaction
You're filled with glory
You deserve a crown
Though it's not publicized
You no longer feel down
And every single time
You do another little act
You get this good feeling
You're on the right track
This is a good path
A path of self love
A path where you can grow
Going up and up above
Above where you were yesterday
Because you keep on growing
And then the good feelings
They will keep on flowing
You're heading in the right direction
You're going for a ride
Because you know that real true happiness
Is only found inside
And you and I both know
That's what you're looking for
In this life so complicated
You'll find it that I'm sure
As long as you continue on this journey in this way
And keep finding little opportunities every single day
To work on your character
And the person who you are
One little step at a time
You'll shine just like a star
Although all around it is dark
Remember this one thing
If you shine a little brighter
Inner happiness you'll bring
Into your life 
And into your heart
You know exactly
Where you need to start
So take these opportunities
Each day as they come
And you'll see slowly
The person you become
Through this life so challenging
You can be the one
To give it meaning
It might not be easy some days
You might want to give up
But if you stay strong
You'll be able to
Live this up
Infuse yourself with strength
Tell yourself you can
And then you really will
Follow through with your plan
Your plan of growth and change
Of winning battles and wars
You'll make me proud
Of that I'm sure!
So keep that fight
Use all your might
And stay strong
I know you'll prove them wrong
All those voices in your head
That tell you it's too much
Quiet them once and for all
With your own special touch
And then you'll come out on the top
Because you gave it all you've got
And one day soon you'll look back and say
I am so proud of how far I've come
I came such a long way
I know you can do this
I believe in you
And deep down I hope
You do too
Stay strong
Keep fighting
Keep pushing through
You've been through so much
And you'll get through this too.

Traffic

I posted this before and wanted to share the message with you again. This article has since been published but for those who have never read it and even for those who have seen it before, reading it again will give you chizuk.

Have you ever sat in bumper to bumper traffic on a highway, watching the cars on the other side breeze past you? They're all driving so fast while you're stuck waiting for the car ahead of you to move up a bit...

You wish you were on the other side too, moving quickly like all those lucky cars. But you know that there is no use in wishing, no point in being jealous. Because if you'd be on the other side, you wouldn't reach your destination. You just took a big trip and you want to get back home. For you, that is the wrong side of the highway; taking it would bring you right back where you came from. And that's not exactly where you want to go.

Life.

Life has been compared to many different thing by many bright and intellectual people.

This time, I'm using the comparison of the highway of life.

Sometimes in life, you wish you could take the easier, faster route. You wish it wouldn't take so long for the changes you want to just...happen.

You're waiting, hoping (and hopefully praying) for your yeshuah to come.

But you feel like you are sitting in traffic...and nothing is moving, nothing is changing.

You don't see any progress.

From time to time, the car ahead of you moves, just a few inches or maybe a few feet.

But then you're stuck again...stuck in the traffic on your highway of life.

You look to the other side of the road and you see so many cars, zooming by...and you eye them with a twinge of jealousy. You wish you could also go for a smooth, quick ride and arrive at your destination. But you know, deep down, that if you were to travel on the other side of the road, you would not reach the place you hope for.

But...that doesn't stop you from looking at those cars, those people, with a wishful eye, a feeling of yearning in your heart.

Eventually, there will be a point where the traffic will clear. You will make it through this challenge, as long as you keep driving, as long as you keep moving...and as long as you never give up hope.

You will get to where you want to. You will reach your destination. Keep your eyes on the goal, even as you continue to be human and glance at the other side of the highway from time to time.

Keep hoping for that clear path, when the obstacles that have been in your way are removed and you could zoom forward...and achieve that which you have been waiting for. Lift your eyes to the heavens and daven. Daven to Hashem to help you make it through your traffic jam intact, and become a better person, a stronger person.

May you be able to go through the highway of your life with the right attitude, knowing that no matter what kind of traffic jam you are stuck in, Hashem will clear the road for you one day...and you will get what you have been waiting for!

A Message of Hope

I'm in the kitchen. Baking. Listening to music.

I'm listening to a great song. One with a message.

I wrote about that song before. It's called Conversation in the Womb and is about two unborn children-both unsure about the next world. One is an optimist and one a pessimist.

Just as the song finishes, I crack open an egg and see...twin eggs.

I crack eggs all the time. When are they ever twins? Just about never. But this time, there they are. Cute, two little yellow yolks in one eggshell.

I think about the song I just listened to, that I so quickly dismissed as soon as the next song started to play. I want to internalize this message.

I think about the climax of the song. When the optimist baby gives out a scream because he has finally entered the next stage of life. The pessimist, hearing the piercing cry, assumes it's all over, his brother must have died. But this is not death, it is actually an entrance into a whole, new, beautiful life. 

In life, we go through challenges. We can either be pessimistic about the tests we've been given, thinking of them as the end. 

The screams of pain...what are they? 

Does that mean everything is all over?

The optimist says, No, it's not over. This is just a new beginning. The beginning of a whole new life.

Yes, we are tested in life. Yes, sometimes we need to cry out. But that cry should be a message to us...a message of hope.

When things get tough and you wonder how you will go on, try to look at it with this new perspective. 

These specific challenges are here to form you. To create you. They will give you a whole new life. Your life will not be the same as it used to be, sitting in a protective little bubble. Now that you've been exposed to the harsh realities of this world, look at is as a chance for rebirth. For renewal. You are on your way to becoming a new being.

The optimist realizes that the pain he is experiencing is the pain of transition. But this transition will open up a new world for him. No longer will he be protected by his mother. He will now step out into this world and have the opportunity to become a different person. To laugh, to play, to interact, to make a difference.

The pessimist sees this cry, the pain of challenge as the end. This is it. There is no life past this. He cannot even deal with the thought of transition. 

Let us try to be like the optimist, realizing and internalizing that change, although hard, can bring us to better places. Transition is painful. But by going through that difficult phase, we can become different people. We won't be stuck in patterns of the past. We will be able to create new realities for ourselves in our lives.

Two eggs in the shell. Two babies in the womb. A message of hope.

Light in the Darkness

Today is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. 

Kislev is the month of miracles. It is also the month where we can find light in the darkness, find hope in the midst of despair, find an inner spark of strength that will help us carry on.

It is starting to get dark earlier. The clock was just changed and the days are getting shorter. You must remember that morning follows every dark night. Every single one. No matter how dark things may be, there is always a little flicker of hope. Of trusting Hashem that things can and will change for the better. 

Hashem can do anything! He has the ability, resources and the power to cause anything in our lives to change at any given moment. With our limited eyesight, we sometimes think we know what it will take to make those things happen, but Hashem is beyond our understanding. He doesn't have a human brain and doesn't "think" in human terms. He is so above us and so capable of anything, that he can perform miracles-because He is our G-d. 

Golel ohr mipnei choshech v'choshech mipnei ohr-Hashem rolls away light before darkness and darkness before light. It is a cycle of light and dark, but the light will always follow the dark night. Life has ups and downs, there are times when we feel weak and want to give up and times when we feel empowered to face our fears, to move forward and to keep trying. Who gives us this strength? 

Hashem.

Who makes day follow night? Every single night?

Hashem.

When you go to sleep at night, you know without a shadow of doubt that when you wake up in the morning, it will be day. It may be dark, rainy and gloomy some days, but it will be a new day. A chance to start fresh, to leave yesterday behind you and to try again, to correct yesterdays errors and to make today better. You never doubted that morning will come again. 

Perhaps you can instill that same rock-solid faith in your heart, knowing, really knowing, that after the dark time there will be light. That Hashem will send a yeshuah, that He will help you through your challenges and instill strength and willpower to keep going, to keep trying...and He will make things better for you. That it will not stay dark forever.

And just like the chashmonaim found a teeny jug of oil that kept the light of the menorah burning for eight days, may whatever little light you have to hold on to keep you going, keep your inner flame burning and may you see miracles in your own life and in the lives of those around you.

A gutten Chodesh!

Traffic

Have you ever sat in bumper to bumper traffic on a highway, watching the cars on the other side breeze past you? They're all driving so fast while you're stuck waiting for the car ahead of you to move up a bit...

You wish you were on the other side too, moving quickly like all those lucky cars. But you know that there is no use in wishing, no point in being jealous. Because if you'd be on the other side, you wouldn't reach your destination. You just took a big trip and you want to get back home. For you, that is the wrong side of the highway; taking it would bring you right back where you came from. And that's not exactly where you want to go.

Life.

Life has been compared to many different thing by many bright and intellectual people.

This time, I'm using the comparison of the highway of life.

Sometimes in life, you wish you could take the easier, faster route. You wish it wouldn't take so long for the changes you want to just...happen.

You're waiting, hoping (and hopefully praying) for your yeshuah to come.

But you feel like you are sitting in traffic...and nothing is moving, nothing is changing.

You don't see any progress.

From time to time, the car ahead of you moves, just a few inches or maybe a few feet.

But then you're stuck again...stuck in the traffic on your highway of life.

You look to the other side of the road and you see so many cars, zooming by...and you eye them with a twinge of jealousy. You wish you could also go for a smooth, quick ride and arrive at your destination. But you know, deep down, that if you were to travel on the other side of the road, you would not reach the place you hope for.

But...that doesn't stop you from looking at those cars, those people, with a wishful eye, a feeling of yearning in your heart.

Eventually, there will be a point where the traffic will clear. You will make it through this challenge, as long as you keep driving, as long as you keep moving...and as long as you never give up hope.

You will get to where you want to. You will reach your destination. Keep your eyes on the goal, even as you continue to be human and glance at the other side of the highway from time to time.

Keep hoping for that clear path, when the obstacles that have been in your way are removed and you could zoom forward...and achieve that which you have been waiting for. Lift your eyes to the heavens and daven. Daven to Hashem to help you make it through your traffic jam intact, and become a better person, a stronger person.

May you be able to go through the highway of your life with the right attitude, knowing that no matter what kind of traffic jam you are stuck in, Hashem will clear the road for you one day...and you will get what you have been waiting for!

They're Back!

As I rounded the corner yesterday, I was quite shocked to see four red balloons flying in the wind. Yes, the balloons I just wrote about are back!

My kids were ecstatic. My son's face was shining, lit up with the biggest smile you could ever imagine. The balloons they were hoping to see...for so long...they were back! I even circled the block so they could see the balloons a second time because my daughter didn't get a good enough look at them the first time round.

My kids talked about them the whole way home.

For me, this had a whole different meaning.

I took this as a small message, a personal love note from my Father Above, saying to me...Don't give up hope. Just like the balloons you've been waiting to see are back, the day you are waiting for will come. Hang in there.

Thank you Hashem, for the message of hope.

May you all be able to continue holding on through the tough times, using them to come out stronger. And may your deepest desires and things you've been hoping for come true in the best possible way.

Good Shabbos.

Balloons of Hope

I have a lot to learn from my children.

I take the same route home from work every day.  Each day, as I'd turn a certain corner, my children would cheer from their seats, "I wanna see the balloons!" And as we'd pass by the store with the balloons right outside the window, they'd shout out happily, "balloons, balloons!"

Usually, there were balloons outside the store window. But some days, they weren't there. Those days were disappointing to them.

"Maybe tomorrow the balloons will be there," I'd reassure them.

And usually, by the time the next afternoon came around, there they were, swaying in the wind, giving my children such simple, untainted pleasure.

It's been a really long time since we've seen those balloons. I can't even remember the last time I turned the corner and those balloons were flying in the wind. Maybe some time in the summer? Maybe longer?

But my children do not give up. Every day, as we turn that corner, they say, "Maybe today we'll see the balloons!" 

And when we pass the store and the balloons aren't there, they always have something to say, some hope to hold on to.

"Maybe they're blowing up the balloons."
"Maybe we'll see them tomorrow."
"Maybe they needa buy more balloons for us."
"Maybe...maybe...maybe..."

But tomorrow comes and the balloons still aren't there.

My children are so disappointed. You could hear it in their voices as I turn the corner and pass the store.

Yet...they still come up with excuses, with reasons...and they are still so very hopeful. Hopeful that the day will come when I will turn the corner and the balloons will be back, back in their familiar place, giving my children the pleasure and enjoyment they used to get from looking at them.

The two second pleasure they would take with them for the rest of the ride home. "We saw the balloons today!"

They're waiting for that day to come. And they aren't giving up. They're holding on to the smallest thread of hope.

I'm learning from them.

No matter what happens, no matter what goes on, there is always  hope.

We are now in the month of Kislev, approaching the yom tov of Chanukah. Perhaps one message we can take from this is the message of hope. That no matter how dark life seems, no matter how dark life is, there is always hope.

The chashmonaim searched through the devastation and rubble, through the destruction and the mess...and at last...they found one jug of oil. They didn't give up. They kept searching until they found what they were looking for.

I look to my past and I see those brave Jews who persevered, never giving up hope.

I look ahead of me, at my precious little children and I see innocence in their eyes. My children never give up hope.

And so...neither will I.

Don't Give Up

It's amazing how much you can learn from little kids.

I was watching my son play with his lego, making a huge tower, piece by piece. It kept on tumbling down. He's too young to make a tower that will stand for more than a few seconds. So every time it falls, he looks at me, we both say "oiy!" and he goes back to building it all over again.

And then it topples.

Again.

And he goes back to building his tall tower.

I was thinking about this while he was busy trying all over again.

How much does it take for us to give up?

How easy is it for us to stop trying?

If only we can learn from this.

Don't give up.

There is something very rewarding waiting for those who keep on trying.

It's hard to keep falling. It's hard to keep failing. It's hard to keep on going.

But if you give up...what are you left with?

Times may be hard but if you keep trying and keep building, even if that tower does tumble and doesn't last, you'll have become stronger, you'll have learned what it means to try again.

Certain things are not in our control. We would like them to be. We would like to be able to say that by such and such time this specific thing I wanted in my life will have changed. But it's not the case. There is Someone who runs the world. He knows what He's doing. He gives us hardships for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is.

We build towers...towers of dreams...ideas...hopes...plans...

And then sometimes they crumble...

We crumble. But we can't let ourselves fall apart. We need to hold on strong to the fact that there is Someone who loves us and knows what's best for us...even when it's hard.

May you be able to hold on strong to Him, talk to Him and trust in Him, no matter what is going on in your life. Know that there is no one in the world more precious to Him than you. He loves you like an only child. There are some things you may not understand but what you must know is that He loves you and will never stop loving you.

Even when it's hard and you feel like you want to give up...