Candle

How does it work when we do something positive as a zechus for someone else? If they benefit, do we lose out on our reward?

The mitzvos we do are compared to a candle. Like it says, "Ner Mitzvah v'Torah Ohr." 

In the same way that a candle does not lose any of its own light when used to ignite the flame of another candle, when we do mitzvos to benefit someone else, they gain and so do we. They get the spiritual benefit of our good deed and we also get rewarded for the good that we did.

This is how we can do mitzvos as a zechus for the neshama of someone close to us to go higher in gan eden. When we do the mitzvah, whatever it is, tzeddakah, tehillim, chessed, refraining from doing something not-so-good, their neshama gets elevated in shamayim. At the same time, we get the spiritual benefit of doing that act. We grow in our middos and build up a storehouse of reward that will wait for us.

That is the beauty of a candle! It can bring light to others and brighten our own life. And every mitzvah we do for a neshama lifts them up higher. It's like sending a present to them in shamayim. And we don't lose out one bit. We gain from the mitzvah too.

May you be able to use your time in this world to bring light and blessing into the lives of everyone you know. May the zechusim you do for others bring light into your own life while enlightening theirs!

Candlesticks

My silver is turning

Gold

It's starting to look

Old

And so I take out

The silver polish

So I can make

My candlesticks

Gleam

Shine

Sparkle.

I put on my gloves

Start scrubbing

Rubbing

Elbow grease

Eyebrows crease

In concentration

Determination

To get these candlesticks

To shine.

 

Isn't it interesting

I think

That I have to

Dirty

These candlesticks

In order to get them

To shine?

Can't I just use 

A little soap

In the hope

That they'll get

Clean?

The polish

With the sponge

And my rubbing

And scrubbing

Turn these gold looking

Sticks

Into a beauty

A silver

A color so clean

That it gleams

From all the pressure

From all the dirt

From all the suds

That are part of

This process.

 

I process

This

And I know

That it is all the dirt

All the work

All the pressure

The pain

The hardships

The scrubbing

And rubbing

The tough cleaning

Called Life

That make

My soul

My essence

The person

I will one day

Become

Shine

Gleam

Become clean.

 

I will endure

I will persevere

I will stay strong

So I can

Become stronger

Better

And shine

Brighter

Just like

My candlesticks.

Lingering at the Chanukah Candles

I heard something about Chanukah that I wanted to share with you.

There are specific halachos of what types of wicks are allowed to be used when lighting candles for shabbos. Interestingly, certain wicks that are not permitted to be used for shabbos candles are allowed to be used to light the Chanukah menorah.

There is an amazing lesson we can take from this.

We know that a flame is compared to the neshama of a person like it says, ner Hashem nishmas adam.

We can see from here the those neshamos who are not affected by the kedushah of shabbos, who are not touched by the purity and holiness of the shabbos candles, can be affected by the Chanukah lights. There is something so special and uplifting about the Chanukah candles that it can touch anybody and can bring them to greater heights in their avodas Hashem.

The key is to let it in. To open up your heart and to let the purity of the flames enter your very being and allow it to penetrate your soul.

But...how?

I think the answer to how you can be affected by the holiness of the Chanukah candles is dependent on what you do after those candles are lit. Do you quickly walk away and get busy with other things or do you linger there for a bit longer?

You can spend a little bit of time at the menorah after the flames have been lit and let the fire ignite your soul. Just look at the candles, at those burning lights.

Think.

Reflect.

And pray.

Use those few moments at the candles...for a spiritual awakening...for growth and inspiration.

Talk to Hashem.

He's your Father.

He's listening to you.

Tell Him about whatever is inside you. Things that are bothering you. Things you want. Changes you'd like to see in your life. Changes you wish you can see in yourself. Ask Him for help.

And...don't forget to thank Him. He gives you so much blessing. Think about those things too...and show your appreciation.

The time you spend at the candles can be utilized for moments of introspection and connection.

***

There is something interesting about candles. If you hold it in your hand, no matter which way you turn the candle, the flame will always be reaching upwards.

And the same is true with a neshama, with every Jewish soul. No matter which way you turn it, no matter what situation a person is in, there is always that pintele yid, that Jewish flame inside of them. There is always a yearning to become better. A Jew can be put in the most trying situation but their soul is like a flame, always reaching upwards-to greater spiritual levels.

When you stand in front of the Chanukah menorah this year, look at the candles and watch the flames go higher. Let that little spark, that pintele yid inside your soul be ignited by the beauty of the Chanukah candles. Daven to Hashem to help you reach higher heights in your avodas Hashem, to keep climbing up and up just like those candles.

And may the flame and excitement inside your heart never be extinguished...so you can take this special inspiration with you long after Chanukah is gone.

Have a happy and enlightening Chanukah!

Shabbos Queen

I sing this song to my son Shalom Baruch every so often. He's been asking me to sing it to him more and more now...(except he says, "Mommy, sing me Shabbos Clean..." ;-) )

I used to think my mother was the Shabbos Queen
She’d stand so regally with royal grace
And whisper to the king of the universe, Hashem
In a very special place
Behind her covered face

I know that she’s not asking him for diamonds
My noble mother doesn’t ask for gold
She’s asking him to help me study in the Torah’s ways
And to let her eyes behold
The joy as she grows old

CHORUS:
Oh...When I grow up, no matter what life brings
Hashem will give the strength I need to handle it
And I will walk by the lights of one thousand Friday nights
And the tefillos of my mother who always had her candles lit

And you can sing the chorus as many times as you want-it gets stronger and more powerful every time you sing it.

This song makes me teary-eyed. I have to hold back those tears so I could sing it to him from beginning to end because the words are so touching and it gives me so much to think about.

When I get to the chorus, so many thoughts run through my mind. Sometimes, I just look at those big innocent eyes staring back at me and I am overwhelmed. I don't know what Hashem has in store for my son but I do know that no matter what it is, Hashem will give him the strength he needs to go through whatever challenges come his way. I look into those big eyes and I think and I hope-I just hope that he will have it easy...and things should go smoothly for him. And I do know that whatever tests come his way, Hashem will help him through them.

Other times, I think of my mother. I think of all the tefillos she davened for me at the shabbos candles. I think of the challenges I've gone through and how much her tefillos must have helped me get through them. I think of the tests Hashem has given me, the little and the big ones...and it makes me cry. But I hold back the tears so I could finish singing the song to SB because he is looking back at me...I'm still thinking while I sing...and I think more about my mother's tefillos...and her hopes for all of her children. We've all been through challenges and we need those tefillos. She never stops. Every week she lights her beautiful silver candelabra and she davens for each of us.

I think of my future-the unknown. And I know that no matter what life brings Hashem will give me the strength I need to handle it because I have my mother's tefillos to rely on. And I have Hashem to rely on-always.

Vezakeini

I posted this once before and wanted to share it with you again...

This is the hope of every Jewish mother - to have good children. Every Friday night, she lights candles, covers her eyes and davens for her children, the future of Klal Yisroel.

This beautiful and touching video highlights the different stages in a child's life. This is what every mother davens for - that her children should live a happy and fulfilling life.

וְזַכֵּנִי לְגַדֵּל בָּנִים וּבְנֵי בָנִים חֲכָמִים וּנְבוֹנִים, אוֹהֲבֵי ה', יִרְאֵי אֶלֺקִים, אַנְשֵׁי אֱמֶת, זֶרַע קֺדֶשׁ, בַּה' דּבֵקִים ,וּמְאִירִים אֶת הָעוֹלָם בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, וּבְכָל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא

Just a thought - every erev shabbos, your mother davens for you to be the best child possible. She wants only good things to come from you and wishes all the brachos in the world to be showered upon you. So the next time you are about doing something you shouldn't, reading or watching something that really isn't good for your neshama, stop for a moment and think about your mother's tefillos. Think about her hopes and dreams for you. Is this something she would want you to be doing? watching? reading? seeing?

Every parent wants their child to be good. What does good mean? This song tells us what is truly important - they should be smart, they should love and fear Hashem, be honest, holy, connect to Hashem (devek is the hebrew word for glue), and they should light up the world with Torah, good deeds and mitzvos.

THIS is what is important in life. Not looks, not money - but actions and middos! When children use the talents they were given to help others, that is what each parent davens for!

Think - are you acting in a way that is a fulfillment of your mother's tefillos for you?!

Daven for your (future) children - every tefillah counts!

At the Chanukah Candles

This was posted last year and I mentioned in the comments that I'd post it again this year.

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

I know its kind of late to ask being that Chanukah is almost over but I was wondering, what are we supposed to be thinking when the candles are being lit? And even after when you just look at the lights? Also is this a special time to ask to things and is there anything specific we should ask for then?

It's still not to late to get an answer to your question since there's still another night left to Chanukah. I don't know if there's a source for this but I have heard that when the menorah is lit, it is a very special time to daven for anything.

I also heard that one should look into the flames and let the light of the menorah penetrate your soul. Just by looking at the flickering Chanukah lights, you can affect your neshama. You should just let yourself look...stare...at the flames. It can really impact you very strongly. It helps you get rid of the negative effects of things that you should not have looked at but saw. We live in a world where it is so easy to see the wrong things. Even without trying, just by walking down the street or turning your head the wrong way, images get thrown into your face and then they stay there forever.

So when you look into the flames and you watch the fire dancing, let it talk to your neshama - it can help get rid of the tumah, the impurity, that may have penetrated your soul when you saw things you should not have seen.

When you stand in front of the menorah, take a few minutes to daven. Daven for those people who have never seen the beauty behind the Chanukah candles, daven for the people you know who are waiting for yeshuos, who need a miracle to save them. Daven for those who are stuck in the dark and need Hashem to light up their lives with bracha.

It's a special moment that passes by so fast. The menorah is lit, the family gets busy with supper, cleaning or whatever it is. Some people have a custom to stay by the candles for 30 minutes and say certain tefillos-prayers and specific perakim of tehillim. Whether or not this is your custom, you can definitely take the time to remain by the candles for a little bit of extra time so you can daven for something you are waiting for.

Think about the two brachos that are said when the menorah is lit. The first one is that we were commanded to light the menorah and in the second one we thank Hashem for performing miracles bayamim haheim, bazman hazeh, in those days and in our days. Think about the miracles, big and small, that you were lucky to experience in your life. And think about the miracles you wish and hope for...and beg Hashem to make them come true!

May your tefillos at the candles be accepted and may you be able to purify your soul by looking deep into those flames...and may your neshama always feel like a fire - excited and enthusiastic and ready to do all the mitzvos we are so lucky to be blessed with!

I hope this helps!
Also, please can the person who submitted this question comment to let me know that you read this answer and if you still have a question about what I wrote?
Thanks!

Chanukah - Inner Spark

We know that Chanukah is the ‘festival of lights’. One thing you can learn from looking at a candle is that no matter which way you turn it, the flame will always face the same direction-upwards. ner Hashem nishmas adam-the neshama of a person is compared to a candle. No matter where a Jew goes, no matter what situation he is put in, there is always that flickering flame, also known as the pintele yid, burning inside his soul. A Jew may go through all kinds of situations but his soul will always be pointing upwards, just like a candle. Sometime it takes the right person, with the right words to tap into that inner spark – but it is always there.

Here is a small inspiring story about HaRav Yisroel Meir Kagan zt”l, the Chofetz Chaim, that clearly illustrates this point.

Once, a burly, gruff looking, man who had served in the Russian army, entered a Jewish Inn and ordered a meal. When Jewish boys were drafted, it was usually the end of Yiddishkeit, religious observance, for them. The army brainwashed them to worship Mother Russia rather than G-d. He plopped himself down and ate in a most disgusting manner - stuffing an entire chicken down his mouth. It was revolting that this man, a Jew, could conduct himself in so repulsive a manner. The innkeeper and the others present were sickened and embarrassed by this display; though none dared say anything.

The Chofetz Chaim happened to be a guest at that Inn. He saw the young man and slowly approached him. Everyone wondered, what would the Chofetz Chaim possibly say to this man.

What could he say?

Surely this oaf would not listen to any rebuke, even from such a holy man. The Chofetz Chaim asked the man, "Is it true that you served in the Russian army?" "Yes," snorted the man, bracing his defenses for the oncoming tongue-lashing he was fully expecting.

"Tell me," began the Chofetz Chaim, "How did you manage to keep your Jewish identity in those circumstances? So many Jewish boys entered the army, only to eventually give up their Judaism. They are forced to serve for 25 years without any kosher food, Jewish holidays, or any other vestige of Judaism. Yet, when you could have easily gone to any Inn, you chose a Jewish one. You still identify as a Jew. I don't know if I could have done what you did. You are an inspiration. Where did you find the strength?"

The soldier, caught off guard and clearly moved, looked straight at the Chofetz Chaim, "It was so hard, they did everything to pound it out of us - to make us denounce and forget that we were Jews."

The Chofetz Chaim responded, "It is a miracle that you made it through. Now you can begin to learn the Torah and observe mitzvos (religious duties) that you were deprived of all these years."

"But Rebbi (teacher), how can I possibly do that," the soldier, now sobbing bitterly, responded. He continued through his tears, "I want to return to my heritage, but I am so far removed. Surely it isn't possible for someone like me to learn."

"No," said the Chofetz Chaim, "It is still possible. It is always possible. I can show you how."

As the soldier spoke to the Chofetz Chaim, the stones on his heart began to melt. Had the Chofetz Chaim not understood and appreciated this man's perspective, this amazing episode never would have occurred.

What did happen was: from that day on, the former soldier began a path to repentance and as the years went by, developed into an observant, well learned Jew.

An Answer and an Article

Someone asked this question: What is the story when Hashem goes to all the different nations and asks them if they want the Torah?

Here is a link to an article discussing this topic.

Let me know if you want to know more about this.

I also wanted to share a really good article from Aish.com that I posted last year. Enjoy it!

How to put your ego in check and let your soul shine through.
by Rabbi Chaim Levine

Ah Spring. Hay fever, Spring fever. The sound of lawnmowers being restarted after months of hibernation. What spring would be complete without houses full of neurotic Passover cleaners, scurrying around hardware stores looking for everything from sandpaper to gas torches.

To the uninitiated perhaps all this Passover cleaning looks a bit mundane. Hopefully by now you know better, and the questions on your mind are more like:

• What exactly does bending down to scour out the space under the fridge have to do with purification of the soul and achieving true freedom?

• Can we use herring for Marror?

• Can one use a Dustbuster to pick up chametz?

Let me reassure you that before Passover there’s not much more you can do for the old inner spirit than bowling for breadcrumbs. Why you ask? This is how it works:

You may have noticed that in Judaism we approach the spiritual through our involvement in the physical. Sitting by a river meditating is nice, but real spirituality comes from making the mundane sacred.

Further, we see the physical as bridge to the spiritual because Judaism recognizes that the physical has been created as a visceral mirror for abstract spiritual concepts. Case in point: cleaning for chametz.

The Sages say that the wick of the candle is a metaphor for the body and the flame is a metaphor for the soul.

The Talmud states that actual mitzvah of cleaning out your chametz is to be done with a candle. After the chametz is found, it is then to be burned in a flame.

The Sages say that the wick of the candle is a metaphor for the body and the flame is a metaphor for the soul. Just like however you position the wick, the flame always points upwards to the heavens, so too, no matter what you do with your body, your soul always stays true to its source. Your essence always remains pure and good, no matter what you do with yourself.

(I like to call this the "weebles wobble but they don’t fall down" theory of the soul.)

ALL PUFFED UP

Chametz -- the air that puffs up dough into bread -- is the ego. Just as chametz makes bread look bigger than it is without adding any substance, so too an ego filled with self importance is ultimately nothing but hot air.

How to we remove the ego? The answer is through the seemingly mundane act of Passover cleaning.

We take the candle and shine it in the darkest hidden cracks, exposing the chametz. When we look at ourselves through the lens of the soul we expose the chametz hiding within and recognize it as a puffed-up illusion. Once exposed, it goes up in smoke.

SEASON OF FREEDOM

Passover is the season of freedom. But freedom can only come if you have released yourself from being a slave to your ego.

If your ego has you in a death-hold, if you run after success because you think only success will you be happy, if you need other people's praise and reassurance to feel okay about yourself, you are a enslaved. If you can’t control your anger, or you are trapped by your fears, then you aren’t free. Burning away the chametz of your personality frees you to the life of the soul.

There is another spiritual idea that comes from chametz that, when understood, teaches the true nature of the ego.

Chametz is nothing but puffed up matzah. But what chametz is actually made out of is nothing less than matzah itself! So too there is an idea that the ego is nothing but a corrupt twisted desire that actually has its basis in a drive coming from the soul. For example:

• The soul wants only to give, to help humanity and fix the world. The ego’s perverted version of this noble drive is the desire for power and control, the urge to conquer the world.

• The soul wants to connect with the Divine. The ego wants to use spirituality to serve its needs (this is the basis for idol worship).

• The soul wants to connect with other people meaningfully. The ego corrupts this desire into a drive to manipulate and take from people.

By seeing that often the ego is nothing but a corruption of a noble desire we can easily move past it and choose to be truly free.

Here are a couple of exercises that you can try this Passover.

1. Ask yourself: "What ego-driven behaviors are enslaving me? What would life be like if they weren't there?" Ask God for the wisdom and understanding to see them for what they are.

2. Try so see that some of the biggest problems your ego gives you are actually a corrupt form of something beautiful from the soul. Then pursue the noble, pure expression of that ego-driven behavior.

Vezakeini

This is the hope of every Jewish mother - to have good children. Every Friday night, she lights candles, covers her eyes and davens for her children, the future of Klal Yisroel.

This beautiful and touching video highlights the different stages in a child's life. This is what every mother davens for - that her children should live a happy and fulfilling life.

וְזַכֵּנִי לְגַדֵּל בָּנִים וּבְנֵי בָנִים חֲכָמִים וּנְבוֹנִים, אוֹהֲבֵי ה', יִרְאֵי אֶלֺקִים, אַנְשֵׁי אֱמֶת, זֶרַע קֺדֶשׁ, בַּה' דּבֵקִים ,וּמְאִירִים אֶת הָעוֹלָם בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, וּבְכָל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא

Just a thought - every erev shabbos, your mother davens for you to be the best child possible. She wants only good things to come from you and wishes all the brachos in the world to be showered upon you. So the next time you are about doing something you shouldn't, reading or watching something that really isn't good for your neshama, stop for a moment and think about your mother's tefillos. Think about her hopes and dreams for you. Is this something she would want you to be doing? watching? reading? seeing?

Every parent wants their child to be good. What does good mean? This song tells us what is truly important - they should be smart, they should love and fear Hashem, be honest, holy, connect to Hashem (devek is the hebrew word for glue), and they should light up the world with Torah, good deeds and mitzvos.

THIS is what is important in life. Not looks, not money - but actions and middos! When children use the talents they were given to help others, that is what each parent davens for!

Think - are you acting in a way that is a fulfillment of your mother's tefillos for you?!

Daven for your (future) children - every tefillah counts!

At the Chanukah Candles

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

I know its kind of late to ask being that Chanukah is almost over but I was wondering, what are we supposed to be thinking when the candles are being lit? And even after when you just look at the lights? Also is this a special time to ask to things and is there anything specific we should ask for then?

It's still not to late to get an answer to your question since there's still another night left to Chanukah. I don't know if there's a source for this but I have heard that when the menorah is lit, it is a very special time to daven for anything.

I also heard that one should look into the flames and let the light of the menorah penetrate your soul. Just by looking at the flickering Chanukah lights, you can affect your neshama. You should just let yourself look...stare...at the flames. It can really impact you very strongly. It helps you get rid of the negative effects of things that you should not have looked at but saw. We live in a world where it is so easy to see the wrong things. Even without trying, just by walking down the street or turning your head the wrong way, images get thrown into your face and then they stay there forever.

So when you look into the flames and you watch the fire dancing, let it talk to your neshama - it can help get rid of the tumah, the impurity, that may have penetrated your soul when you saw things you should not have seen.

When you stand in front of the menorah, take a few minutes to daven. Daven for those people who have never seen the beauty behind the Chanukah candles, daven for the people you know who are waiting for yeshuos, who need a miracle to save them. Daven for those who are stuck in the dark and need Hashem to light up their lives with bracha.

It's a special moment that passes by so fast. The menorah is lit, the family gets busy with supper, cleaning or whatever it is. Some people have a custom to stay by the candles for 30 minutes and say certain tefillos-prayers and specific perakim of tehillim. Whether or not this is your custom, you can definitely take the time to remain by the candles for a little bit of extra time so you can daven for something you are waiting for.

Think about the two brachos that are said when the menorah is lit. The first one is that we were commanded to light the menorah and in the second one we thank Hashem for performing miracles bayamim haheim, bazman hazeh, in those days and in our days. Think about the miracles, big and small, that you were lucky to experience in your life. And think about the miracles you wish and hope for...and beg Hashem to make them come true!

May your tefillos at the candles be accepted and may you be able to purify your soul by looking deep into those flames...and may your neshama always feel like a fire - excited and enthusiastic and ready to do all the mitzvos we are so lucky to be blessed with!

I hope this helps!
Also, please can the person who submitted this question comment to let me know that you read this answer and if you still have a question about what I wrote?
Thanks!

Lessons From Chanukah

There are so many messages to take from Chanukah. There are so many lessons to learn from a candle. The neshama, the soul of each person is compared to a candle. Just like a candle always shines upwards, no matter which direction you turn it, so too, each person truly strives to go upwards. No matter which direction you turn, which situation a person is in, deep down each person really wants to go up, to get closer to Hashem. There is always a flickering flame, a pintele yid, inside the soul of every person. No matter how far they may have strayed, no matter what things they have done in their lives, a Jew always yearns to get closer to Hashem and you can never, ever give up on a Jewish soul.

A person might think to themselves, how important am I? I'm just one little person in this huge world! Does it really matter if I do the right thing? Does it really make a difference if I act in the proper manner? Does anyone really care?

So I wanted to share with you another message we can take from candles, flames and from the Chanukah story.

All it takes is one little flame to brighten up a room...it may have been dark but now the room has been illuminated. That's the significance of one candle.

During the time of the miracle of Chanukah, there was no pure oil to light the menorah. And then ONE jug was found! Just one jug! What could be accomplished with one little jug of oil?! But they tried. The menorah was lit. It was a message as if to say, we may not have the ability to make this menorah stay lit for the amount of time it will take to get more pure oil but we will do ours and leave the rest up to Hashem. This is the power of one small, pure jug of oil. Hashem did the rest and the menorah stayed lit for eight days!

So when you think you are just one in a million, think about the Chanukah story, the Chanukah miracle and remember how important YOU are! You are one person who has tremendous significance and you can and will shine!

Every night, after the menorah is lit, the following bracha is said: She'asah nissim La'avoseinu, Bayamim Haheim, bazman hazeh-He performed miracles for our forefathers, in those days, in our times. Chanukah is a special time for miracles. It is a time for us to take a moment to reflect on the miracles Hashem has done for us in the past and a time to daven for miracles in our own lives. Take some time to daven for good things to happen for yourself and for those around you!

May each of you experience your own miracles very soon!