Succos-It's Temporary

Succos
We leave our homes
For a smaller home
Outside
Exposed to the elements
Aren't we always exposed?
Hashem knows everything
All our thoughts
We can't hide from Him
We can face Him
We can embrace Him
And remember 
That just as our home
Is temporary 
And after eight days 
In this temporary abode
We go back 
Back to our comfortable home
We will all one day 
Leave this world
Our stay here
Is temporary 
We aren't here
Forever
Let's use our time
In this temporary world
To do things
Actions
Good deeds
That last
Forever
That leave
An everlasting impact
On those around us

Parshas Devarim

Moshe Rabbeinu speaks to the Jewish Nation before he dies. He spends five weeks telling them all the things they will need to hear before their new leader, Yehoshuah, will take over.

While we don't like to think about death, all of us will one day leave this world. While we are still alive, we can think about what kind of messages we are leaving for those around us by the things we spend time doing, the way we act and the words we say. The interactions we have with others really do leave a memorable, lasting impact on our friends and family. 

May we be able to utilize our time while we are still alive to impact those around us in positive ways and act as a role model for spiritual growth to all those we come in contact with!

Parshas Bamidbar

The shevatim who encamped near Aharon and Moshe were known for their Torah knowledge and spiritual greatness, while those from shevet Reuvain were negatively influenced by their neighbor Korach.

We see how important it is to be surrounded by good people. We should stick around people who will influence us in a positive way and who will lift us up. We can also look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "Would people want to be around me? What kind of impact do I have on those I come in contact with?"

May we be able to affect others in a positive way and may we always be surrounded by good people!

Parshas Vayeitzei

Vayeitzei
Rashi tells us that the reason the passuk says Yaakov left is because when a tzaddik leaves a place, it makes an impression. People feel a loss; they gained a lot from his presence and now that he is no longer there, it affects them.

We should think about our presence and how it affects others. Are we pleasant to be around? What happens when we leave-our homes, offices, schools or any place where we are surrounded by others? Do people silently think "good riddance" or do they feel like they gained something by spending time in our presence? Do we leave a lasting impression on those who we come in contact with? We can-by complimenting them, by listening in a real way and by creating lasting connections.

May we be able to interact with those around us in a meaningful way so that when we part, people feel the difference and want to emulate our actions!

Parshas Ki Seitzei

We are not allowed to plant a mixture of seeds, plow with two different animals together or wear clothing made of wool and linen combined. According to the Torah law, every seed, animal and material has it's specific place and we are not authorized to mix them however we desire. 

The Torah is showing that not everything can be mixed together. We should think about who we mingle with and how it affects us. What kind of influences do we allow into our homes and our hearts by what we read, watch and listen to? Are we mixing with the secular world in a way that isn't good for our souls? Maybe certain things are supposed to be kept separate because that will keep us more pure and whole.

May we be able to keep that which should be kept separate from mixing into our lives, enabling us to retain our holiness and purity!

Tu B'Shvat-Trees

There's a beautiful piece of poetry about a man who took a walk outside and saw a tree with delicious tasting fruits. The man gave the tree a wonderful blessing. Instead of blessing the fruit tree to bear sweet tasting fruits or to give off a pleasant shade, he wished upon the tree to have offspring, fruits, that are just like the tree itself. In essence, he was blessing the tree that there should be many more fruits like him, with all the positive qualities of the tree, not just replicating one aspect of it's goodness.

Someone composed the "chorus" of the story and made it into a beautiful song. 

Ilan, Ilan, bamah avarechicha...

Although many people have taken the message of the song and applied it specifically to parents-blessing them that their offspring should be as wonderful and as special as they are, I want to take this parable to a whole different level.

Ki Ha'adam Eitz Hasadeh-each one of us is compared to a tree. Just like there are many trees outside, there are many people in this world. And we meet different people at different points in our lives. Those who we come in contact with are looking at us, watching us and being affected by our shade-by the positive energy we give off. 

Do YOU realize that? 

Do you realize what power you have? 

And how you can impact other people by the way you interact with them?

Imagine if this blessing was showered upon you. That all those who come in contact with you should learn from your positive character traits, from your good and giving heart, from your excitement for another act of kindness...would you act differently? Wouldn't you want to be the best person you can be...if you knew others were learning from you and acting just like you?

You are like a tree.

The people around you bask in your shade. They are watching you, making observations and following your lead.

Each one of you has the power to impact those around you for the good!

You don't know who is watching you with wide eyes. Who around you looks up to you and wants to be like you...because of the good they see in you that makes them wish they can be like you too.

*  *  *

I took another message from this beautiful blessing bestowed upon this tree.

I think about my brother Shalom a"h and about how he spent the last summer of his life. He was in camp Stolin, having a good time-just like all the other boys who were there with him. But he did do some extra special things, things that were highly unusual for a boy his age. He said tikkun chatzos every night. He got up early every morning, went to the mikvah and then learned with a chavrusa before davening.

I think about the last day of his life. He was extremely tired because on motzei shabbos nachamu, he stayed up to clean up and organize the siddurim, the tables and the chairs after all the men had finished dancing. His rebbe said that Shalom stood throughout the morning seder, leaning over his shtender. He didn't sit down because he did not want to fall asleep and he learned with an extra measure of excitement. Did he know what was coming? What the rest of the day would bring?

I think about the last few moments of my brother's life. 

He was...up in a tree.

Marveling at the beauty of the borei olam. Looking at the scenic lake from his spot high up in that tree.

And then he fell. 

This was Hashem's plan. 

I think about my brother and I think about the song. And I say, Shalom, I give you a bracha. My wish is, shekol netiyos shenot'im mimcha yi'hiyu k'moscha-that all the children who were named after you should be just like you.

You already have three nephews who carry on your name.

One of them is my son. 

I know the day will come when he will be old enough to listen to stories about you and mature enough to understand what a special uncle he had.

And my deepest desire is...that my son should be like you. That he should have that amazing mix that you had. 

You were so good with your hands, always able to take things apart and put them back together in the most creative ways. I remember how you took apart a broken food processor and used the motor and some other small pieces to create an alarm clock. How you took the inside of your hat box and covered it with duct tape so it shouldn't get ruined by rain-and attached it to the back of your bike so you'd be able to switch from your helmet to your hat when you went off your bike and into yeshiva, shul or a store. You were so unbelievably creative.

You were so warm and loving to your nieces and nephews. You loved kids and were so gentle with them.

You were so much fun to be around. Your smile lit up the room...and our house.

You knew when to be serious but you also knew how to tell a great joke and get everyone to laugh.

There is so much about you that cannot be captured over here. But I know you...and I know that I wish that my son, who carries on your name, will grow up to be just like you...just like the uncle he never knew.

Shalom, yehi ratzon...shekol netiyos shenot'im mimcha yi'hiyu k'moscha.

At the Chanukah Candles

This was posted last year and I mentioned in the comments that I'd post it again this year.

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

I know its kind of late to ask being that Chanukah is almost over but I was wondering, what are we supposed to be thinking when the candles are being lit? And even after when you just look at the lights? Also is this a special time to ask to things and is there anything specific we should ask for then?

It's still not to late to get an answer to your question since there's still another night left to Chanukah. I don't know if there's a source for this but I have heard that when the menorah is lit, it is a very special time to daven for anything.

I also heard that one should look into the flames and let the light of the menorah penetrate your soul. Just by looking at the flickering Chanukah lights, you can affect your neshama. You should just let yourself look...stare...at the flames. It can really impact you very strongly. It helps you get rid of the negative effects of things that you should not have looked at but saw. We live in a world where it is so easy to see the wrong things. Even without trying, just by walking down the street or turning your head the wrong way, images get thrown into your face and then they stay there forever.

So when you look into the flames and you watch the fire dancing, let it talk to your neshama - it can help get rid of the tumah, the impurity, that may have penetrated your soul when you saw things you should not have seen.

When you stand in front of the menorah, take a few minutes to daven. Daven for those people who have never seen the beauty behind the Chanukah candles, daven for the people you know who are waiting for yeshuos, who need a miracle to save them. Daven for those who are stuck in the dark and need Hashem to light up their lives with bracha.

It's a special moment that passes by so fast. The menorah is lit, the family gets busy with supper, cleaning or whatever it is. Some people have a custom to stay by the candles for 30 minutes and say certain tefillos-prayers and specific perakim of tehillim. Whether or not this is your custom, you can definitely take the time to remain by the candles for a little bit of extra time so you can daven for something you are waiting for.

Think about the two brachos that are said when the menorah is lit. The first one is that we were commanded to light the menorah and in the second one we thank Hashem for performing miracles bayamim haheim, bazman hazeh, in those days and in our days. Think about the miracles, big and small, that you were lucky to experience in your life. And think about the miracles you wish and hope for...and beg Hashem to make them come true!

May your tefillos at the candles be accepted and may you be able to purify your soul by looking deep into those flames...and may your neshama always feel like a fire - excited and enthusiastic and ready to do all the mitzvos we are so lucky to be blessed with!

I hope this helps!
Also, please can the person who submitted this question comment to let me know that you read this answer and if you still have a question about what I wrote?
Thanks!

Tiny Spark

Yesterday, I had a meeting with someone at work. Her name sounded pretty Jewish but from the way she looked there was no way to tell. Pants and a short-sleeved t-shirt, long brown hair with light yellow streaks (obviously dyed), I couldn't know for sure.

When there was a technical glitch on the computer and I couldn't continue with our meeting, we instead started to talk. She was very friendly and open about her life and I asked her some basic questions about herself.

It was interesting that when I asked her which school she went to, she immediately chose to identify herself with the Jewish one she had gone to up until 5th grade. Although after that she went to public school and then continued on to college, she chose to tell me that she went to a Jewish school. It was geared to Russian girls who came from non-religious homes, just like she did.

It was taking a while for the technician to fix the technical problem on the computer but let me tell you, everything has a reason. Hashem set the stage, for her to come with more than enough time for the meeting before going on to her next stop and for the computer to act up (it barely EVER happens) so that we could talk about Judaism (for close to an HOUR)!

It was amazing to see that when I started telling her little things about torah, I was able to see the interest on her face, like she was listening with her heart and so badly wanted to hear more.

I asked her if she keeps kosher and she said no. I asked her if she keeps shabbos and she said no. But her family does do something each shabbos. Her mother doesn't light candles on Friday night and her father surely doesn't go to shul. The extent of their shabbos is a family meal together every Friday night. No kiddush, no zemiros, no divrei torah. Just a meal with everyone together on Friday night. I told her that what her family does is really big in Hashem's eyes because they are remembering every single week that shabbos has come. And that is what is important.

I told her that people think Judaism is all or nothing - but that's not true. Hashem doesn't expect us to do everything in one day. A person shouldn't think that if they can't keep the whole shabbos they shouldn't even try. I told her how valuable every act she does is in shamayim, how Hashem wants to see that a person remembers that it's shabbos, even if that means not answering the phone the second it rings, waiting a minute to respond to that text message or not turning the TV on for an extra five or ten minutes. Because that is showing Hashem that she remembers that today is shabbos.

It was so sad to see how far removed she is. But it was heartwarming to see how much she wanted to learn and know and how that pintele yid, that teeny flame, is alive in her heart.

I told her a lot of things while the computer technician did his work. I could see that she really wanted to hear more. Her neshama was starving for inspiration and I could see it on her face. My job is not to make her frum. All I wanted to do was give her a positive Jewish experience.

She told me that she would want to learn more about Judaism, she's just been really busy and doesn't have time. When she has children, she would want them to go to a Jewish school so they can learn more about what it means to be a Jew and then hopefully she can learn from them. She is quite a few years older than me but I told her it is not too late to learn, it is never too late to learn more.

I am hoping to follow up with her somewhat over the next few phone conversations with her but it's a hard balance. I have to be able to mix (or not) business with pleasure and must be careful not to cross the line.

What inspired me most about our meeting was that deep connection that every Jewish soul has and nothing can take that away. Speaking to someone who has very little connection to the Jewish nation but yet when she met me she immediately identified herself with the Jewish school she went to and showed such a strong interest in hearing more about yiddishkeit showed me that it never hurts to open up a conversation with someone about Judaism. You never know how they'll react and how years down the line they may remember the conversation they had with you.

May Hashem bring back all the lost souls so they can see with their own eyes and feel in their hearts how lucky we all are to be born into the Jewish nation!

There is so much more in my heart and so many thoughts from that meeting that are hard to put down...but let's hope that one day she will learn more, grow more and realize that she has a treasure in her backyard...and begin to live with it!

Self Worth

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

Q: How does one deal with very frustrating feelings that the Yetzer Hara tries to make a person feel? It can make a person feel worthless! When a person is very upset, they feel like just giving up and they aren't worth anything... How do you get those thoughts out of your head?

A: Thank you for asking this question. It is a very important one since we all feel, at one point or another, that we messed up and it's hard to get back up again and keep trying.

These thoughts are coming from your Yetzer Hara trying to make you feel worthless so you won't even try again. People make mistakes. That's part of life. The important thing is to get up again and not to let anything stand in your way by making you feel like you don't have value.

Every person is important.

Proof?

"The day you were born was the day Hashem decided that the world cannot exist without you!"
Isn't that powerful?
And the fact that He wakes you up each morning shows that you have something to accomplish today and you are an important person in the world Hashem created!

So don't let these little voices in your head get in the way of your personal growth because in truth, there's so much you can do!

When you start feeling down and are not in the mood of trying, it's hard to know what to do next. One thing you can try is to talk to yourself. These days, with people walking around with tiny bluetooth devices in their ears, you wont even look strange if you walk down the street talking to yourself lol! Kidding! You don't have to literally talk to yourself with your mouth but you can talk to yourself in your head. Tell yourself that you are important. Repeat that quote to yourself - because it's 100% true! Think of the times someone made you feel important about what you did - a thank you, a compliment, a kind word, a smile...and then go do that back to someone else. When you make someone else feel valued, you start to realize how important you are - because you have the power to lift someone's spirits and make their day!!

Remind yourself again and again that you are important and do something every day that leaves an impression on someone else so that at the end of the day you can look back and say, I did something today that made a difference. Then, you'll start to feel that you really are important, even if you didn't feel that way before.

When you impact someone's life, even by brightening someone's day, you are showing them that they are important to you - and then you will feel that you are important to someone else!

I'm not sure if this fully answers your question. Please let me know what you think of what I wrote and if it helps at all and if you still have questions about this.

Does anyone else have advice for the person who asked this? What things do you do to get yourself out of that mood of worthlessness and feeling down? How do you show yourself that you are important?

At the Chanukah Candles

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

I know its kind of late to ask being that Chanukah is almost over but I was wondering, what are we supposed to be thinking when the candles are being lit? And even after when you just look at the lights? Also is this a special time to ask to things and is there anything specific we should ask for then?

It's still not to late to get an answer to your question since there's still another night left to Chanukah. I don't know if there's a source for this but I have heard that when the menorah is lit, it is a very special time to daven for anything.

I also heard that one should look into the flames and let the light of the menorah penetrate your soul. Just by looking at the flickering Chanukah lights, you can affect your neshama. You should just let yourself look...stare...at the flames. It can really impact you very strongly. It helps you get rid of the negative effects of things that you should not have looked at but saw. We live in a world where it is so easy to see the wrong things. Even without trying, just by walking down the street or turning your head the wrong way, images get thrown into your face and then they stay there forever.

So when you look into the flames and you watch the fire dancing, let it talk to your neshama - it can help get rid of the tumah, the impurity, that may have penetrated your soul when you saw things you should not have seen.

When you stand in front of the menorah, take a few minutes to daven. Daven for those people who have never seen the beauty behind the Chanukah candles, daven for the people you know who are waiting for yeshuos, who need a miracle to save them. Daven for those who are stuck in the dark and need Hashem to light up their lives with bracha.

It's a special moment that passes by so fast. The menorah is lit, the family gets busy with supper, cleaning or whatever it is. Some people have a custom to stay by the candles for 30 minutes and say certain tefillos-prayers and specific perakim of tehillim. Whether or not this is your custom, you can definitely take the time to remain by the candles for a little bit of extra time so you can daven for something you are waiting for.

Think about the two brachos that are said when the menorah is lit. The first one is that we were commanded to light the menorah and in the second one we thank Hashem for performing miracles bayamim haheim, bazman hazeh, in those days and in our days. Think about the miracles, big and small, that you were lucky to experience in your life. And think about the miracles you wish and hope for...and beg Hashem to make them come true!

May your tefillos at the candles be accepted and may you be able to purify your soul by looking deep into those flames...and may your neshama always feel like a fire - excited and enthusiastic and ready to do all the mitzvos we are so lucky to be blessed with!

I hope this helps!
Also, please can the person who submitted this question comment to let me know that you read this answer and if you still have a question about what I wrote?
Thanks!

Before It's Too Late...

This week is Parshas Acharei-Mos Kedoshim. I’ve heard that we can take a very powerful lesson from the name of these two parshios. Acharei Mos, after someone dies, Kedoshim-do we realize how holy and special they were.

This message speaks to me personally. My brother Shalom a”h was niftar in the summer and the following year was my younger brother’s bar mitzvah. His bar mitzvah parshah came out to be…Acharei Mos-Kedoshim. Those two parshios together. Nothing is coincidence. It didn’t just “happen to be” that his bar mitzvah parshah came out this way. And this year, again, when we come to this week’s parshah, we are reminded to take the message.

After Shalom a”h was niftar, we heard so many amazing stories of things he had done that nobody was aware of. Boys in his class and kids from camp mailed letters to our family, each one wrote how Shalom had an impact, how he did something special for them, how he went out of his way to help them. There are so many things he did in private, quietly, doing things to help without letting anybody else know about it. This is what Acharei Mos-Kedoshim comes to tell us. We hear so many things people did-after they already passed away. But we can take the message...

Don’t wait …

Until it’s too late…

To appreciate…

Your friends…

Your family…

Your neighbors…

Your coworkers…

Your teachers…

Your students…

Your parents…

Your siblings…

Is it that important that you have to fight about that? Argue? Get upset at each other? Why don’t you notice the good things, the positive qualities about that person? Take the time to compliment, let them know how much they mean to you!

THIS is the lesson that we can take from the parshah. Appreciate people while they are still alive. Tell them how much they mean to you. Try not to be petty. Try to notice the little things that people do and tell them thank you. Remember that the time that YOU have in this world is limited and use the time to the fullest.

You can make this Shabbos special by remaining focused on what really lasts. Try to make this shabbos meaningful and peaceful!

Does every dot really count?????

Some of us saw this e mail. However i recieved it again today,for whoever never saw this its just such a powerful message!

Dear Rabbi, Why does the Jewish religion seems to obsess over insignificant details?How much matza do we have to eat, which spoon did I use for milk and which for meat, what is the right way to tie my shoelaces? if i ate meat i have to wait a few hours ..... and many many more.... whats up with all these small things they seem sooooooo insignificant!!
It seems to me that this misses the bigger picture by focusing on minutiae.Is this nitpicking what Jews call spirituality?(I actually already sent you this question over a week ago and didn'treceive a reply. Could it be that you have finally been asked a question that you can't answer?!)Rob
Answer:Dear Rob,I never claimed to have all the answers. There are many questions that are beyond me. But it happens to be that I did answer your question, and you did get the answer. I sent a reply immediately. The fact that you didn't receive it is itself the answer to your question. You see, I sent you a reply, but I wrote youremail address leaving out the "dot" before the "com". I figured that you should still receive the email, because after all, it is only one little dot missing. I mean come on; it's not as if I wrote the wrong name or something drastic like that! Would anyone be so nitpicky as to differentiate between "yahoocom" and "yahoo.com"? Isn't it a bit ridiculousthat you didn't get my email just because of a little dot? No, it's notridiculous. Because the dot is not just a dot. It represents something. That dot has meaning far beyond the pixels on the screen that form it. To me it may seem insignificant, but that is simply due to my ignorance of the waysof the web. All I know is that with the dot, the message gets to the right destination; without it, the message is lost to oblivion. Jewish practices have infinite depth. Each nuance and detail contains a world of symbolism. And every dot counts. When they are performed with precision, a spiritual vibration is emailed throughout the universe, all theway to G-d's inbox. If you want to understand the symbolism of the dot,study I.T. If you want to understand the symbolism of Judaism, study IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you will find so many cool answers to your questions it will blow your mind!!
lets all start to see things with a clearer mind. we dont see the full impact of the small things that we do, every dot makes a diff.
how small is a dot?? yet look how far it goes gets us, on the internet with out dots we cant travel around the world in the comfort of our homes!!
so the next time someone asks you to do something and it seems sooo small run do it you have no clue how far reaching that act can take you!!! TINY EXAMPLE,
YOU NOTICE SOMEONE WALKING AND HAS REALLY HEAVY PACKAGES AND YOU JUST WALK OVER TO HER AND HELP HER. HOW HARD WAS THAT??? WHO KNOWS WHO WAS WATCHING YOU, MAYBE SOMEONE FROM THEIR CAR WHO LOOKED DOWN AT SOME FRUM PPL.... AND NOW CAUSE SHE SAW YOU SHE WILL SEE PPL IN A NEW LIGHT AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!
THIS COULD BE A RIPPLE EFFECT!
SMALL SHORT TRUE WELL KNOWN STORY TO SEE THE POWER OF SMALL ACTS...TOLD OVER BY RABBI PAYSACH KROHN
I DONT HAVE ALL THE DETAILS, BUT THIS IS THE BASIC STORY ANYONE CAN FIX IT IF THEY KNOW THE PERFECT VERSION.
A MAN WAS DAVENING AT THE KOSEL THANKING HASHEM WITH ALL HIS HEART FOR ALL THE KINDNESS HE RECIEVED. A BYSTANDER WHO WAS NOT RELIGIOUS WAS JUST AWED BY HIS SINCERITY. AN AWESOME THOUGHT FLASHED THROUGH HIS MIND SINCE I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A JEWISH SCHOOL AND DONT KNOW MUCH ABT JUDIASM HOW ABT. I GO AND DONATE MONEY TO A YESHIVA AND HELP SPREAD THIS MANS GOODNESS AROUND THE WORLD!
SO THIS BY STANDER(JOEY) FLEW TO TEXAS (I GUESS HE LIVED THERE )AND WENT OVER TO THE HEAD OF A YESHIVA AND OFFERED THEM A HUGE AMT. OF MONEY!!! THE PRINCIPAL WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK!! WHAT IS THIS FOR???? JOEY WENT ON TO DESCRIBE HOW HE WATCHED SOMEONE DAVEN AND HE WAS SO INSPIRED HE DECIDED THAT THERE SHOULD BE MORE INSTITUTIONS THAT DO SUCH GREAT THINGS!!
ONE SMALL THING HE DID NOT EVEN KNOW HE WAS BEING OBSERVED BY ANYONE LOOK WHAT BECAME OF IT!
PLS LET US KNOW WHAT ACT YOU DID TODAY IN A SMALL WAY SO WE COULD ALL LEARN FROM AND BE INSPIRED.

You can beat the Yetzer Hara

i just read this e mail sent to me from guard your eyes.com and i really thought it was cool so i wanted to share it with you!
Sometimes we are like a Dovid, standing up alone against a great and powerful Golyas. The special Jewish Neshama that wants to serve Hashem, is pitted against the powerful Yetzer Hara who seems so much stronger than us. It can look like there is no way to win this battle, in the same way that that there was no way Dovid could vanquish the mighty Golyas. But he did!!! In his eyes there was no way to win, but when we ask Hashem to fight our battle anything can be done!!
He did, because he came with Bitachon - because he came in the name of Hashem.
If only we could see how our little actions affect all the upper worlds... If only we could see what pleasure we give Hashem when we try to serve him even though he seems so hidden from us... If only we could know how our daily battles affects all of Klal Yisrael...
We must believe this, even though we don't see it. All Hashem truly wants from us in this world is "Emunah". Hashem wants our heart to call out to him with all our pain and all our emotions!! Just sit down in your room and start telling hashem how you want to beat your yetzer hara and ask him to help you!!
You can Fight the Yetzer Hara. Tell him, like Dovid told Golyas, that although he is stronger, we are coming to fight him in the name of Hashem . Just sling some stones of Tefillah and Emunah at him and he will fall with a mighty thud!
pls write any ideas that you have for me
if you put it onto the comments then i will look at it and see if its rlly good well put it up onto the site!!
thank you so much for coming and wanting to grow!!