How Can This Be?

Motzei Tisha Bav 2024
Eicha?
How can this be?
How can we still
Be waiting
Yearning
Hoping
For the Geula 
And it still
Has not arrived?
How can we have
Gone through
Another Tisha Bav 
Another fast
Cried
Mourned
About the past
While hoping 
For 
A brighter future
And it still remains
In the future?
Eicha?
How can this be?
How can we still 
Be waiting
Yearning
Hoping
For change?
And the change 
We wait for
Still hasn't 
Come to be?
What change
Do we have to make
Within ourselves
To bring about
The Ultimate change
The change 
We are waiting for
So desperately?
We went through 
The motions
And hopefully 
Aroused 
Emotions
We sat on low chairs
Didn't eat
Or drink
Tried to connect 
And tried to think
We watched videos
That awakened
Even the strongest
Of hearts
Our hearts
Opened up
To the pain 
Of our brothers
And sisters
Who are mothers
And fathers
Sons 
And daughters
Who experienced 
A painful year
We shed tears
We felt the pain
Of galus
In a way
We haven't felt
In previous years
And now...
We continue
To wait
We hoped
There would be
A change
For our nation
We dreamed
Of the day
When it all
Would change
And we wished
Today 
Would have been
That day
But Hashem
Who knows
And sees
Beyond what we
Can see
Knows
That we need
A little more
Time 
Perhaps
The time
Is almost
Here
We hope
And wish
And dream
And yearn
And pray
For the day
When the time
Will be ripe
Until then...
Hashem...?
Please give us
The strength 
To continue 
Hoping
Wishing
Dreaming
And praying
Please help us
Notice
What we need
To change
What we need
To do
So we can
Come closer 
To You
And help us
Take the steps
To come back
To You.
It was a hard day
A heavy day
And we need You
To carry us through
Whatever comes next
Please, Hashem
Look into our hearts
See our yearning 
And our desire to
Connect
To You
To come back
To You
And bring us back
Bring us home
To You.

Tisha B'Av

During the nine days, the rules we keep are similar to the halachos of someone who mourns the loss of a close relative. We don't listen to music and we don't wear fresh clothing. 

But on Tisha B'av, the mourning intensifies to another level. We don't eat or drink, we don't wear leather shoes and we don't greet people with a warm hello. When someone loses a loved one, they don't have an appetite and they don't feel like greeting everyone they meet. They miss their relative and nothing else matters!

This is why we fast.

On Tisha B'av, we mourn the loss of the closest relationship we once had with Hashem. How can we eat when we are so far away from the ideal lifestyle? We use the sadness of the day to propel us to make better choices so we can experience that same closeness once again.

May the confusion and distance we live with be replaced with clarity and closeness as we do everything in our power to bring the Geula!

Taanis Esther

Many people say perek chaf bais, 22, today. As she approached Achashveirosh after 3 days of fasting, Esther said these words, "Keili keili lama azavtani." She turned to Hashem when she felt abandoned and asked, "Hashem...why did you leave me?" Instead of turning away from Hashem, she turned TO Him.

When you feel abandoned or hurt by someone you used to be close to, instead of turning away from them, turn to them. Speak to them. Try to understand why they are acting this way. Maybe there's something going on inside of them that will explain their behavior. Opening up a dialogue gives you the opportunity to fix the relationship and restore peace.

May we be able to maintain peaceful relationships always!

A Small Meal

Today is Yud Zayin Tammuz, the day we fast to show we are mourning the beginning of the end - the end of the time of clarity and closeness to Hashem through the Bais Hamikdosh.

Imagine your father bought you a house, provided you with everything you needed to keep that house beautiful and also gave you money to buy yourself food and clothing whenever you needed. Now imagine if at the same time, your father was homeless, sleeping on the park bench every night. Would you be able to enjoy the house he so generously gave you, along with all the things he provided you with?

Wouldn't you try to invite him into your home? What if he said he didn't want to come live with you because your home wasn't good enough for him? Wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make your house a place where he would be comfortable moving in?

Hashem gave each of us a place to live us and also blessed us with so much bounty, so much beauty, so much excess... But He is has nowhere to live.

He is homeless.

We need to reflect upon the fact that if He doesn't feel comfortable living with us, we must fix that.

We need to think, what changes can we make to ensure that our homes, our world, can become a place where His shechina will want to reside?

R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l talks about making a "seuda ketana" with Hashem.

What is this small meal?

When someone makes a big meal, like a wedding, they invite many people and serve lots of varieties of food. The reason for this is that everybody has different tastes and he wants to make sure all his guests will be satisfied.

But when a small meal is prepared, for example a seuda for just a chosson and kallah, the food served is different. Before the meal, we check with both the chosson and kallah to see what they like. If the chosson likes something but the kallah does not like it, we do not serve that dish. We only serve foods that both the chosson and kallah enjoy eating.

This, says R' Pincus zt"l, is what we should do with Hashem. We should say, "Hashem, I want to eat a meal with you. I like The New York Times. Hashem, do you like it?"

No, Hashem does not like the New York Times.

"Then I can't have that in my home."

And this is how we can go through the things we bring into our homes, the things we do in our free time and the things we busy ourselves with.

We have to look at what we do, what we buy and what we allow into our homes and ask, Hashem, do you like it? Because I can only have it if you like it. I want you to sit with me Hashem. I want you to feel welcome in my house. I want you to want to spend time in my presence.

By making a seuda ketana with Hashem, we can reflect upon the things we do and the influences we allow into our homes. We will notice what changes we need to make to ensure that Hashem's shechina will want to reside amongst us. And that way, we will show Hashem that we are setting up our homes for Him to stay!

If Hashem once again feels comfortable living among us, He can bring us all back to His home and He will no longer be homeless. We will be able to live with the clarity and closeness to Him we so desperately need. And we will be able to say, "I know that I did what it took to welcome Hashem back home. I made the changes I needed to make Him want to make the changes we were all hoping for!"

May we merit to celebrate the rebuilding of the bais hamikdosh instead of mourning its destruction!

Have a meaningful and introspective fast.

Tzom Gedalia

Tzom Gedalia

Even though the fast is over, we can still reflect on the message of this day. We fast because Gedalia, a big tzaddik, was killed by another Jew which ultimately led to all the Jews leaving EY. This was like a nail in the coffin; not only was Hashem's home destroyed, but His land was now empty.

One thing we learn is not to be overly righteous. Gedalia didn't accept the "lashon hara" he was told about Yishmael who planned to kill him. Had he done proper research, maybe he could have prevented the planned assassination. 

At this time of the year, when we take things upon ourselves and try to better ourselves, let's remember not to overdo it. Yes, we should always strive higher, but not at the expense of other people. Not if it will cause us to look away from things that are important. 

May you be able to take the right steps to change, with the right balance and with a lasting impact!

Tzom Gedalia

Here's a short thought and a practical lesson we can take from today's fast day.

We fasted because the tzaddik Gedalia was killed on this day. He was warned beforehand that someone was planning to kill him but he didn't believe the Lashon Hara nor did he investigate to see if there was any truth to it. 

We learn from here that there are times to ask questions, to see if something negative we heard is true-in order to protect ourselves. We can't have an "absolutely no Lashon Hara"  policy. 

Extremes are not good; everything must be done in moderation. 

Maybe this day comes right after Rosh Hashana, when we start to accept new changes upon ourselves so we can be aware: STOP! Don't take too much upon yourself. Do good, make changes, but don't go to crazy extremes or you may end up hurt in the end!

Have a meaningful next few days of slow, gradual changes!

When You Have Reason To...

Today, Yud Zayin Tammuz is the beginning of the Three Weeks. 

The purpose of a fast day, whether or not you are actually fasting, is to bring you to do teshuva, to change, to do something different. 

The Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed because of sinas chinam, baseless hatred. Because people had negative feelings towards others for no real reason. 

"She gets on my nerves."

"I can't stand her."

"She knows just how to push my buttons."

"I'm embarrassed to be seen around her."

But...what about when you do have a reason to hate someone? 

What about when you have negative feelings towards someone who hurt you?

When you keep all your hurt inside, it will continue to bubble and boil until that pot of emotions overflows and explodes over one last straw.

It is important to learn how to deal with those emotions. 

How to deal with difficult people that Hashem put into your life for a reason.

How to express those feelings so you could make things better.

Express how you feel. Tell the other person that you are upset, hurt or angry. But if you do it in the heat of the moment, they will probably have a hard time hearing you. If you wait until things are calmer, there is more of a chance of working through what is bothering you in a way that is productive...with both of you being open to hearing each other, without any of you feeling defensive or under attack. A calm conversation leaves more room for open communication.

And when you focus on how YOU feel, instead of on what the other person did wrong, you are helping the other person learn you, learn your needs and what makes you tick. Instead of them feeling like they are in the wrong for what they did, you are making them aware of what things hurt you. What things bother you. And then they could focus on doing things differently next time. Because its about making you happy. Not hurting you. Being in tune to your feelings.

Relationships are complicated. 

People are complicated.

Life is complicated.

But you can learn some tricks and tips to work on making the complicated things in your life a bit more bearable. When you have tools in your hands, when you know how to deal with challenging situations, you will feel empowered to keep trying, to keep going, keep learning and keep growing. 

And that's exactly what we are here for.

May you be able to work on keeping things peaceful with those you love and are close with and may you find the right path to achieving harmony among all those you come in contact with.

Have a meaningful fast!

Your Face

The Three Weeks are here again. We are fasting, once more, still in this galus...still waiting for the beis hamikdosh to be rebuilt.

As we know, the purpose of a fast day is to bring us to do teshuva. When we refrain from eating, hopefully, our brains are less distracted by the foods we would be eating and we can focus on things that are important-the changes we would like to make, that we save for some other day...and we can actually use this day to accomplish something good, to become a better person in a small way.

Bein adam lachaveiro-these are three little words that include so much.

Throughout the day, we interact with many different people-on the phone, in person and even in writing-text, chat, email, and perhaps some old fashioned pen to paper letter writing.

There are things we can do to improve and to enhance our interactions with those we come in contact with.

I want to focus on one area-an area that may be easy for some people and more of a challenge for others.

I recently told someone about the concept of "your face is public property" and she found that thought so profound. She never heard it expressed that way and she loved it.

Let's face it. Some days are just plain hard. We're not in the mood of smiling. We don't want to "fake it til we make it". 

But...did Hashem create us with a mirror in front of our face so we can see ourselves all day? 

Who sees us when we go outside? 

Should we be walking around with a sour expression on our faces when there's a world out there with people looking at us? 

If you had a garden in front of your house, how would you want it to look? Would you like a nice, manicured front lawn with beautiful flowers for everyone to look at and enjoy (if they weren't so busy with their cell phones texting and browsing all day lol)? Or would you want a garden with overgrown leaves and weeds and some poison ivy just to top it off? :)

What kind of message do you want to give over to people who see you?

When you get dressed in the morning, don't you check to make sure your shirt is not stained, you look neat and put together and that there's no chas v'shalom...gasp...run in your tights? :-)

So...ask yourself each morning...before you leave your house...how well dressed is my face? And I'm not talking about makeup-although that does help sometimes. The expression on your face is just as important...if not more so.

Remember...your face is public property. 

Keep it beautiful...keep it happy...and let that positivity spread to others.

May Hashem give you many reasons to keep that smile pasted on your face...every single day!

Ta'anis Esther - Alone

Sometimes in life you feel alone. Like there's no one who can help you. No one to rely on. No one to turn to.

I was sitting in the hospital bed on Shabbos morning after having given birth just a few hours before. I was starving. I had no food with me. We came to the hospital with the bag that I had packed and that's it. It was shabbos. I didn't have my phone with me and even if I would have had it I wouldn't be able to call anyone to bring me something to eat. I was alone. I was tempted to call one of the nurses to ask them to look out for a Jewish girl who was visiting someone and see if they could go to the bikkur cholim room to get me something to eat. I just gave birth. I couldn't go myself. I was alone. And I was hungry. And I needed to eat.

I felt like crying. Where was I going to get food from?

Hashem, I said, I'm hungry. I need to eat. Could you please send someone to my room to give me some food?

I was close to tears.

Mi K'amcha Yisroel. It didn't take long for a volunteer from Yad Ephraim to come into my room with a bag full of food. She had grape juice for kiddush, danishes, cake and some warm mazel tov wishes for me.

* * *

Today is Ta'anis Esther. Picture the scene so many years ago. Put yourself in Esther's shoes. She is married to Achashveirosh and has to stand before him and make a request that would save her entire nation. The entire Jewish People is looking to her, relying on her for their salvation.

At that moment, she bursts into a prayer of "Keili Keili lamah azavtani"-Hashem, why have you forsaken me? Why did you leave me? Just at the time I need you most...I feel so alone!

What an emotional prayer. What could be worse than the feeling of loneliness? Than feeling that you have no one to turn to, no one who can help you?

Yes, as a Jew you should know that you can always turn to Hashem. You can daven to Him and beg Him for help. But sometimes...that's not enough. You need something real. Something to hold on to. Someone to hold on to.

And I think maybe that's why Hashem gave us people to rely on, people to turn to for emotional support. Even if there is no one who can actually do anything practical for you, whether it's for financial help, to find you your guy, to help you with a job, to get you into a school or just to help with something real, when you feel alone and you have someone to talk to, it makes such a difference. There is something about having a friend that makes the burden a little bit easier to carry. Yes, you still have to go through the challenge anyway but when you have someone walking alongside you, you feel less alone and you feel like you could do it.

We all have times when we feel alone. Yes, we should turn to Hashem and ask for help but when nothing is going to change-because sometimes the situation stays the way it is and you don't see a way out, you can know that Hashem gave you something to make it a little more bearable. A good friend.

Today, many people take out their tehillims and say Perek Chaf Bais-the 22nd chapter that begins with "Keili Keili lamah azavtani". When a Jew feels alone, he takes out a siddur, he takes out his tehilim and he turns to Hashem. But sometimes, many times, that's not enough. You need something real. And that's what a friend is all about.

The purpose of a fast day is not about the food and about how hungry you are. The point is to get you to stop and think. We are still in galus. We know that sinas chinam is one of the things that is keeping us from getting out. Don't we all want to leave?

Today, take a minute to focus on your relationships and think about how you can be a better friend. A good friend, a real friend.

May you be able to be there for your friends to support them through the tough times and to celebrate with them in the happy times.

Have an easy, meaningful fast.

Just One Week Ago...

Just one week ago, we were all davening and hoping little Leiby would be found.
Just one week ago, many, many people went out to search for missing Leiby.
And then…
…came the news.

We were so saddened, horrified, we didn’t know what to do.
Some of us cried.
Some of us didn’t.
But we all felt the pain.

The voices of those people searching for this missing little boy kept ringing in my ears. “Leiby, Leiby, Leiby”…and then I thought to myself, how far have we all gone?! We are lost!

Hashem is looking for us!
Do we hear His call?
He calls out to us through simchos, by giving us so much goodness, health, families, jobs, food, technology to make life easier, and then do we notice Him and thank Him for all He gives us?
Then He calls out to us through painful times, by sending stories our way that make us cry…and think…and return to Him.

Can we heed the call?
Can we listen to His voice?

Imagine Hashem calling our YOUR name.
You are His precious child and He wants YOU to come back!

“Sara, Sara, Sara”
“Ruchi, Ruchi, Ruchi”
“Chaya, Chaya, Chaya”
“Esther, Esther, Esther”

Where are you?! Come back home to me!!
Hashem is calling out to each and every one of us.
We got the message.
Now it’s time for us to come back.

Today, Shiva Asar B’Tammuz is a fast day. The purpose of a refraining from eating all day is to get you to think-to think about where you are in life and where you want to be and to work on moving forward towards becoming a better person. If a person refrains from eating all day but does not do some teshuva, some repentance, then what was the point in fasting altogether? They just did the external without focusing on the inner purpose of the day.

So today, take a few minutes to think about one practical thing you can do to bring the geula closer.

There’s so much to work on. Let’s start now.

Just one week ago, a story happened that impacted all of us in the most personal way.
Just one week ago, we were all hurting, crying and in pain.

Let’s do something real, today, so that this will be the last painful story we hear.

Also, last year’s post about the three weeks is powerful. You’ll want to read it.

Purim

Every Yom Tov, says the gemara in Pesachim (68b), is "Chetzyoi LaShem V'Chetyoi Lachem" (half for Hashem and half for you). Of course it is all for Hashem but our celebration has two parts. One part in pure spiritual devotion like davening and learning and the other part is more earthly through eating (albeit with the goal of Kiddush Hashem).

What about Yom Kippur, where is the Chetzyoi Lachem as we are wrapped in talis and fast all day? The Vilna Gaon answers that the Lachem part of Yom Kippur is Purim. Purim is the completion of Yom Kippur. It is the physical half. Moreover say Chazal, Purim is the holier half as Yom Kippur is only Yom "K"Purim a day whose kedusha only approaches the incredible kedusha of Purim.

Rav Shimshon Pincus says that some Meforshim explain the connection between the two with the Chazal that says "Kol HaPoshet Yad Nosnim Lo" (whoever opens his hand is given to). Just like on Purim where we are obligated to give tzedaka to whoever stretches out his hand, so to on Yom Kippur Hashem gives us whatever we ask for. Purim is a day where Hashem also gives whatever we ask and is more effective than Yom Kippur when we need to fast and daven to get it. Purim we can be in a state of obliviousness "Ad D'Lo Yadah" and still get what we need.

Rav Shimshon Pincus himself offers that there are three days of celebration of Matan Torah during the year. Shavuos where we celebrate the first Luchos with the hearing of them on Har Sinai, Yom Kippur when we received the second luchos, and Purim when we finally accepted the Torah by our own volition without being forced. This was the most joyous kabalas HaTorah that came from a physical revelation that the torah is in our best earthy and heavenly interest. That is why on this Kabalas HaTorah we celebrate in a most earthly way.

Fasting - Asarah B'Teves

This was posted before but since once again we are here on the tenth day of teves, I thought it would be a good idea to post this.

Today (okay, really tomorrow) is Asarah B'Teves, the 10th day in the month of teves where most of us are fasting.

Why do we stop eating?

I think, that when we stop eating, it gives our minds time to think and we can then focus on other things. We do think about food a lot on a regular day. Breakfast. Drink. Snack. Drink. Lunch. Drink. Snack. Snack. Supper. Drink. Snack. Drink. Snack...and Midnight snack?!
Yes, so when we stop for a moment and ask ourselves, why aren't we eating today? we should come up with some answers.

What happened on Asarah B'Teves? Since I'm not in school anymore, I couldn't even remember! All I was able to think of was a song from one of the tapes I heard when I was younger. (I think it was from Rebbe Alter.) The song goes like this:
Long ago on Asarah B'Teves
Do you know what happened children
The seige began
Nevuchadnetzar and his army
Surrounded Yerushalayim...

Today was the beginning of the Churban Bais Hamikdosh. It was the beginning of the destruction of Hashem's home. It was the first step towards losing the clarity that existed when the Bais Hamikdosh still stood. And that is why we are fasting. We are fasting to remind us of what we lost, what we are missing and what we can get back.

Do you want the Bais Hamikdosh back? Are you comfortable in galus?

I'm not.

So what can we do to get it back?

You know the answer. I know the answer. It's an easy answer. But it may not be so easy to do. Because if it was, then we wouldn't be where we are right now.

I think that what we can do to make moshiach come faster is this: Choose one thing bein adam lamakom and one thing bein adam lachaveiro that you will change and improve on. It can be something new that you will choose to do from now on or it can be something you want to improve and become better in. One thing between you and Hashem, (davening, learning, thanking, speaking to Him, brachos or any one mitzvah that you feel you can do better) and one thing in the way you treat other people (going out of your way for someone, helping, smiling, appreciating).

And if you need more ideas, look at the poll on the right. And remember, this is individual for you, because you have to look deep inside yourself and think of what you know you need to change.

Just one more thing, here's a quote that I made up that I think you can use for your bein adam lachaveiro change:

"A compliment a day goes a very long way!"

To read more about Asarah B'Teves, click on this link and this link.

In the zechus of all the changes you make, may you to see real changes in your life and in the lives of those around you!

After Tisha B'Av

Tisha B'Av is now over but the message we can take from this day should stay with us. One of the main purposes of a fast day is to get us to do teshuva. If we stay where we are and don't decide to change, then what was the point? We need to show Hashem that it bothers us that we are still in galus and that we really want to come out! We need to make real changes so that Hashem will see that we care and we don't want to be in this dark and bitter galus anymore.

We know that the Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed because of sinas chinam which means baseless hatred, having bad feelings towards someone with no good reason at all. So to correct this, we need to have ahavas chinam, love other Jews for no good reason other than because they are Jews! We need to work on ourselves so that our hearts are overflowing with love for one another so that we wont ever want to hurt someone intentionally and we should keep on looking for ways to be kind to others and make them happy.

The famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza talks about how a man was making a party and somehow the invitation got sent to the enemy (Bar Kamtza) instead of to the friend (Kamtza). When Bar Kamtza showed up at the party, he was embarrassed publicly by the host of the party and was forced to leave. He was so angry about this that he reported to the Government and this was the first thing that actually brought about the churban, the destruction of the Bais Hamikdosh.

The question is, why is this story called on Kamtza's name if he wasn't even at the party? He had nothing to do with it! In fact, he may not have even known that there was a party that night!

The Maharal says (I heard this at a speech by R' Viener) that having a good friend is only good if it is not to the exclusion of anyone else. We all know about how much we want to feel part of things and included in the group and how it hurts to be excluded. Cliques are very dangerous. We have to make sure to include other people in our friendships and go out of our way to make others feel like they are part of it too. So yes, Kamtza was responsible too since he and his friend, the host of the party, did not include Bar Kamtza in their friendship.

This is the message we need to take from Tisha B'Av. We fasted, we cried, we davened and we hoped. And moshiach still isn't here. We need to work on being more pleasant and friendly to others. We need to include others, be more aware of other peoples feelings, say a kind word, try to compliment more often instead of criticize, speak positively about others instead of put them down and think of ways to make others feel loved and appreciated so that we can show Hashem that we are changing for the better and that we really want moshiach!

The Three Weeks

We are about to start the Three Weeks-the time between Yud Zayin Tammuz and Tisha B'av. It is interesting that this time starts and ends with a fast day-a day we do not eat food at all. Why?

I'm coming up with this answer on my own so I can't quote any source but I think a big part of it is that when we refrain from eating it gets our brains working and we can try to THINK a little bit. Instead of focusing on food (which we do a lot on a regular day, breakfast, snack, drink, snack, lunch, drink, snack, drink, supper, snack, drink, midnight snack?!), we can focus on other things, things that really matter. When we think, we we can ask ourselves some important questions and hopefully come up with some answers.

What happened during this time that we make so many changes in the way we act? We stop listening to music and we don't make weddings because these things bring us joy and now's a time to focus on what we are missing so we can try to bring it back!

This is the time when the bais hamikdosh, Hashem's house was destroyed. It was a place where we were able to achieve total clarity and connection to Him. We don't even begin to understand what we are missing!

Just think about how much we need moshiach! Focus on it for a few minutes. Imagine, there will be a clarity of understanding like never before. Children who left the path of Torah will want to come back! Those who are missing that important love and appreciation for yiddishkeit will finally get that amazing feeling in their hearts that this is the most beautiful and precious gift they ever could have gotten-the Torah and the life that goes along with it! We will get answers to our questions in a way we have never heard before-with a new level of understanding!

Instead of anti-semitism, the non-Jews will respect us and look at us in awe. They will want to do anything they can to help us - the Chosen People!

There is so much pain in this world. Rejection. Arguments. Confusion. Stress. Anger. Loss. Sickness. Poverty. Imagine when it will all be GONE!

And it will be replaced with all the beauty and happiness we've been hoping for! Sunshine. Light. Love. Joy. Acceptance. Excitement. Clarity. True happiness!!

What can YOU do to make this day we are waiting for come closer?

You can smile at people as you pass them in the streets. You can be friendly to the cashier when you pay for your purchases. You can hold the door open for someone as they walk through with their packages. You can help your parents take care of your siblings. You can be pleasant to your neighbors and coworkers. Call your friend to say hello and let her know you've been thinking of her... there's so many things you can do to make the world a happier place-just open your eyes!!

You have extra time on your hands? There are so many organizations who need volunteers to help them out. Make the call - offer your help. The reward for this cannot be imagined!

We are all waiting for this day to arrive! Each of you have the power to make this day come closer!! Search deep within your hearts and find a way you personally can do something to bring moshiach one step closer...because we really need this day to come!

Asarah B'Teves

Today is Asarah B'Teves, the 10th day in the month of teves where most of us are fasting.

Why do we stop eating?

I think, that when we stop eating, it gives our minds time to think and we can then focus on other things. We do think about food a lot on a regular day. Breakfast. Drink. Snack. Drink. Lunch. Drink. Snack. Snack. Supper. Drink. Snack. Drink. Snack...and Midnight snack?!
Yes, so when we stop for a moment and ask ourselves, why aren't we eating today? we should come up with some answers.

What happened on Asarah B'Teves? Since I'm not in school anymore, I couldn't even remember! All I was able to think of was a song from one of the tapes I heard when I was younger. (I think it was from Rebbe Alter.) The song goes like this:
Long ago on Asarah B'Teves
Do you know what happened children
The seige began
Nevuchadnetzar and his army
Surrounded Yerushalayim...

Today was the beginning of the Churban Bais Hamikdosh. It was the beginning of the destruction of Hashem's home. It was the first step towards losing the clarity that existed when the Bais Hamikdosh still stood. And that is why we are fasting. We are fasting to remind us of what we lost, what we are missing and what we can get back.

Do you want the Bais Hamikdosh back? Are you comfortable in galus?

I'm not.

So what can we do to get it back?

You know the answer. I know the answer. It's an easy answer. But it may not be so easy to do. Because if it was, then we wouldn't be where we are right now.

I think that what we can do to make moshiach come faster is this: Choose one thing bein adam lamakom and one thing bein adam lachaveiro that you will change and improve on. It can be something new that you will choose to do from now on or it can be something you want to improve and become better in. One thing between you and Hashem, (davening, learning, thanking, speaking to Him, brachos or any one mitzvah that you feel you can do better) and one thing in the way you treat other people (going out of your way for someone, helping, smiling, appreciating).

And if you need more ideas, look at the poll on the right. And remember, this is individual for you, because you have to look deep inside yourself and think of what you know you need to change.

Just one more thing, here's a quote that I made up that I think you can use for your bein adam lachaveiro change:

"A compliment a day goes a very long way!"

To read more about Asarah B'Teves, click on this link and this link.

In the zechus of all the changes you make, may you to see real changes in your life and in the lives of those around you!