Parshas Emor

There is a special mitzvah for a farmer to leave the corner of his field for the poor man when he is harvesting his crop. He demonstrates his awareness of Who blessed him with this good and shares it with those who are less fortunate than he is.

When we are blessed with plenty, we should remember those who aren't as fortunate as we are and share it with them. And while we think of giving in terms of money, there are so many ways to give. We can give our time or our knowledge, a listening ear or a compliment, encouragement or good advice. Some forms of giving don't have a price tag but they're worth more than all the money in the world!

May we always be on the giving end by sharing whatever good we have with others - from money to talents and everything in between!

Parshas Shemini

The pig is non kosher even though it has one of the qualities of a kosher animal. When it stands, it sticks out its split hooves as if to show off and say, "Look at me! I have one sign!" 

Hashem has gifted each of us with many things. We shouldn't feel the need to flaunt the good we have. When we are satisfied with our blessings and acknowledge that our talents come from Hashem, we won't need to show off. We can feel grateful and even share the good we have with others!

May we be able to use the good we have been blessed with to bring happiness to other people and never feel the need to flaunt the extras that we have!

Purim Poem-Lottery

Here's my Purim Poem for this year. Enjoy the message!

Purim is here, a day of happiness and fun for all,

We dress up in costumes whether big or small.

Yet there is a deeper message in this special day,

About connecting to Hashem in a truly meaningful way.

The name פורים comes from פור, which means raffle or lottery,

And that is a random selection, that’s what it seems to be.

But the תורה tells us that a raffle is an expression

Of what Hashem wants to tell us, it’s His specific instruction.

The two goats on יום כיפור as well as dividing ארץ ישרא-ל among the tribes,

Were done byגורל  to see what were Hashem’s true vibes!

And whenיונה  was in the boat that was twisting and turning,

Lots were cast to see who was at fault for all that churning.

So the message we can take is that things that seem random,

Are all part of the bigger picture of details working in tandem!

And on Purim we are supposed to look for Hashem in everyday things,

And appreciate the many gifts we have from the King of all kings.

When we go shopping and there is more than enough at the store,

We should know that Hashem set aside one for us and there’s extra, there’s more!

It’s only when there’s just one left of the very thing we need,

That we take the time to thank Him, oh yes indeed.

We learn this from when רבקה metיצחק  for the very first time,

And if we look closely, we’ll see the תורה records a very curious line.

ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה –The walk was in גן עדן, a very holy place,

And then ותפל מעל הגמל-Rivka fell off the camel and covered her face.

The reason she fell was because she saw him walking-yes-upside down,

His feet were in the air and his hands were on the ground!

Why was he walking in such an unusual way?

Because He represented finding Hashem in the earthly, regular and everyday.

So on Purim, it’s thisונהפוך הוא , an unusual way to connect,

We thank Hashem for the “random” bounty with which we are blessed!

He hides Himself in the plenty so it takes effort to notice and see,

That the things He gives us are a gift for each of us individually!

This is the message from the name פורים which means lottery,

That nothing is random, it’s just that Hashem is hidden, we cannot see

And on this day we should look out and try to find Him in the regular things

So we can connect with gratitude and happiness to the King of all kings!

A Freilichen Purim!

Parshas Bereishis

The Torah discusses things that cast people in a negative light. It talks about the cheit of Adam and Chava in detail, the story of Kayin and Hevel and ends with Hashem deciding He wants to destroy the world. Why does the Torah write about all these bad things? Shouldn't it only tell us the good things people did? 

We see that all people make mistakes. Mistakes don't make us bad. They make us human. We need to learn from our experiences and do something different next time. Then, the mistake becomes something positive. 

We learn from Adam and Chava about overcoming temptation, from Kayin and Hevel to give the best when you're giving a gift and about the negative effects of jealousy. The aveiros the Torah talks about help us gain important lessons for life!

May we be able to pick ourselves up after we stumble and have the strength to do better next time we are faced with a challenge!

Parshas Nitzavim

Moshe tells Bnei Yisroel - you have a choice between life and good and death and bad. He says, choose life!
The way to choose life is by making choices that connect us to the source of life, Hashem.

Now, before Rosh Hashanah, we should ask ourselves, are we doing things that bring us closer to Hashem or are we distancing ourselves from Him? Are we using the gifts He gave us-our eyes, ears, mouth, hands and feet to connect to Hashem in a real way?

Do we try to see Hashem in our daily life?
Are we receptive to inspiration?
Do we speak calmly and kindly to others?
Can we use our hands to do chessed thereby making a kiddush Hashem?
Have we walked away from arguments and negativity?

It's the last shabbos of the year. We have a chance to fix everything we've corrupted over this past year. Let's make a commitment to use our body to connect to Hashem, the source of life. 

May we be able to elevate every fiber of our being to connect to Hashem, the source of life and this way, well merit to be written down for a year of life, connection and meaning!

Parshas Eikev

Moshe Rabbeinu tells BY that after they enter EY they will become wealthy, but they should never forget Who provided them with all this bounty and riches. 

Each of us is blessed with so much good. It's so easy to lose sight of where it is coming from. Whether it comes in the form of money, talents, looks or personality, we need to remind ourselves Who gave us these blessings. A beautiful voice, a creative mind, charisma and a sense of humor are all gifts from Hashem. We should thank Him for that gift and use it to influence the people around us for the good.

May we be able to have the self-awareness to notice our positive qualities, give Hashem credit for it and use those gifts to benefit other people!

The Present

The following was written by Sarala, a very unique and special individual. She shared it with me and gave me permission to post it so you can also be inspired.

The Present is a Present

A young couple was eating out in a restaurant. After a few moments of pleasant chatting, their food arrived. Starving, they each dived in but abruptly stopped in their tracks when they noticed a piece of paper neatly folded into 4 sections. They each opened it up and read it. It read: “The Present Moment is a Present. Use it Wisely.”

The couple looked at each other questioningly. They didn’t have to comment. The look on their faces verbalized their thoughts. “What in the world?? What is this??” They slowly recovered and regained their composure and read the note a couple of more times. They remembered that their food was waiting for them and quickly dived in. But this time it was done a bit differently: They recited a bracha slowly and carefully while trying to understand its meaning.

While this story is made up, the message is very clear and relevant to us. How many times do we lose sight of precious moments and squander many opportunities? How many of us fall into the trap of boredom when we can easily channel the moment into something elevated?

I would like to share a personal example to bring this point home:

I take the city bus to work. The bus ride is not long at all; it’s about 10 minutes. All too often, I find myself thinking about what I can/should do and therefore, lose the moment. When I catch myself, I shift my attention to the present moment and try to experience it as much as I can. For example, I take note of the cold air on my face. I challenge myself to observe my surroundings – the trees, flowers, cars and people passing by. Although this sounds simple and elementary, it is extremely important. It’s vital that we observe, take note and enjoy each moment. Because, The Present is a Present.

Food For Thought: Hashem gave us all the same amount of seconds. The difference lies in how we choose to use them.

The equation below is copied and pasted from: https://www.rapidtables.com/calc/time/seconds-in-day.html

1 day = 24 hours/day × 60 minutes/hour × 60 seconds/minute = 86400 seconds/day. 

Let's use the many seconds in our day to enjoy the presents we've been given, by living in the present!

She's a Gift

It's the seventh night of Chanukah.

Four years ago, on this day, I gave birth to a delicious little girl. We named her Chaya Gitty and she already personifies her name. Full of life and full of goodness, I sometimes wonder if she can be too good. But then I see her acting like a regular, normal, healthy little girl, doing things girls her age should do and I smile inside. She is a gift.

Every child is a gift. It sometimes passes us by and we are too busy to take the time to notice it, but on this day I take a few minutes to think and to be grateful. Grateful to Hashem for giving us such a precious little girl who lights up our home with so much sunshine and joy.

The cute things this little girl says, the way she shares and plays, the amount she absorbs and understands, the purity and innocence of her young heart, every bit of it is something to be grateful for.

And she's so happy. So simply happy. What does it take to make a little girl excited? A new doll. And not a huge 18 inch American Girl Doll (even though she'd be thrilled til the sky to have one of those!), just a teeny little Polly Pocket or a small six inch doll. She doesn't expect much and she's happy with the little things she gets.

What do we expect? 

What happens when things don't turn out the way we anticipated?

Do we pull through, coming out stronger? Or do we succumb because it's just too hard and our dreams have been shattered?

We all have dreams. 

We plan our lives the way we expect them to turn out.

And sometimes, sometimes life just doesn't follow that script. The imaginary life we thought we'd live...with all the hopes and dreams packed into one little fairy tale...turns out to be so different...so much more challenging...yet so much more real.

It's a chance for us to become more real. To discover our essence. To appreciate our strengths and work through our weaknesses so we can become a different person. Stronger, better, more connected...and more whole.

It's okay to wish, to dream...and even to expect to some degree.

But we have to know that Hashem has a better plan. 

Even if it doesn't seem all that wonderful in the moment. 

He has a reason, there is a purpose, and one day, we may even get a glimpse, a little peek, a little bit of understanding. 

It takes work to accept, to let go of the dreams and to create a new reality with the life and challenges we have been given.

But at the end, we will feel happy inside.

To my sweet and precious little girl, I continue to daven and hope that your life continue to be this happy. That you keep that innocence and purity with you for a long time. That you keep being that good little girl, with the right balance of giving and sharing but standing up for yourself when you need to. That the passion you have for doing mitzvos, davening and learning more never leave you...and that you follow on the right path with love every day of your life.

Hashem, I thank you for giving us such a wonderful gift. I can't imagine my family without my little Chaya Gitty in it. And on her birthday, as I take the time to reflect on how lucky I am to have her in our family, I ask you to please give me the strength to take care of her (and all of them), the ability to make the right decisions, and the knowledge I need to be mechanech all of my children to stay on this beautiful and special path we have started on. Let my home be infused with spirituality, positivity and happiness every single day.

Happy Birthday, CG! 

And Happy Chanukah to all!

Thanks for Sharing

Have you ever walked outside and heard blaring music coming from a car driving down the street?

Whenever that happened while I was out, I'd say to whoever I was with, "Thanks for sharing!" The music coming out of those cars weren't usually songs I'd want to listen to while having a massage. They were songs I'd choose to listen to while doing exercise. Or maybe I'd rather not listen to those songs at all... :-)

For a while, it was hard for me to understand why someone would do that. Why do they have to drive down the street and "share the wealth" with people who never asked for it? Why couldn't they just enjoy the music in their own car and not have to make so much noise?

Until I had that incredible urge.

I was driving down the street listening to a song that I absolutely love. A song that empowers me, that moves me, that pushes me to want to do more, to do my best no matter what is going on. It's a fast song, it has a great beat, and the words are just plain awesome.

And so...I did it. I rolled down my windows and turned the volume up to the max. 

Why? Why did I do that?

It's because...I had something that felt so incredible to me...and I wanted to share that with everyone around me. This song did something to me. It moved me. It inspired me. It talked to me. And I wanted everyone else to feel it too. I wanted them to hear the words, to feel what I was feeling. I wanted them to feel the power of the song so they could be touched the same way the music touched me.

All this got me thinking...

You know, we as Jews have something so incredible. We have the most awesome gift ever. Hashem gave us the Torah. It is a part of who we are, it helps us learn how to be more sensitive and caring to others. It turns us into better people.

Do we ever feel like we really want to share it with others?

When we feel a positive emotion that is so overpowering, we have this tremendous urge to share it with others. It's like when someone is in "simcha mode". When they get engaged, have a baby, marry off a child...or when a very close relative gets engaged, has a baby or gets married...the emotions inside of us are so strong, we just want to share it. We want all our friends and neighbors to know who got engaged to who, who had a baby and if it was a boy or a girl, who got married...all the exciting details of the simcha that make us feel so happy. All we feel like doing is sharing that incredible joy with others.

So...what about our Judaism? Are we as passionate about what we have that we feel this same urge to give over to others and share the wealth?

This year, before Shavuos, take the time to think about it. Think about the things inside you. The things you care deeply about. And if you are passionate about Torah and mitzvos and you have thoughts and ideas you want to share with someone who is not as fortunate as you are, who doesn't have the same Torah background as you have, sign up for a program that will give you the opportunity to share your wealth.

You can sign up to learn with someone on the phone once a week with Partners in Torah. You can learn with someone in person, one on one. And if you don't feel you have that inside you, you can host a kiruv training seminar in your house as a way to help others learn more about kiruv. Or, you may choose to donate some of your ma’aser money to any of the organizations who are involved in kiruv. Oorah also has many ways of getting involved.

Whatever you choose, just realize that you have been given a unique treasure. You own it...and it is a part of you. And if you felt passionate enough about it, you'd also feel like you want to do whatever you can to share it with others. 

Do what it takes to share the wealth. 

It will enrich your life in so many ways.

Breaking Habits

Today, vav Shvat is my hebrew birthday.

Last year, on my birthday, I took something really small upon myself. I wanted to break a habit. I wanted to stop doing something I've been doing for years. I started on my birthday and continued with my progress daily. The first few weeks were hard. I would keep slipping up...and every time I'd catch myself I'd remind myself to stop.

With time, I would slip less and less often. I'm not sure exactly how much time it took, but by  now I can say that I officially broke that habit. And it's a good feeling.

Growth in Judaism must be done in baby steps. We hear it all the time. The trick is to act on it. To take that first step towards change.

In her book, The Committed Marriage, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis talks about the concept of shteiging, of constantly developing ourselves and our characters and growing in our relationships. She quotes her husband who explained this concept so well. If you were told to read the phone book and remember all the names, addresses and telephone numbers, you would give up immediately. However, if someone asked you to memorize just one name, one address, and one telephone number every day, you would do it easily and you would be able to retain that information.

The same is true with changing ourselves, our habits and our personalities. If we thought about the person we want to become one day-the ideal perfect person we want to be-it would be too overwhelming and we would probably give up before we even started. On the other hand, if we were to make one little change, take on one little mitzvah, work on one bad habit and do it one day at a time, we would be able to master it. We would be able to make real changes. The trick is to do it slowly. One day at a time, one thing at a time.

On my birthday, I realize that change can happen. I look back at this past year and I see how much has changed, how much I have changed. When I try to look ahead, I feel overwhelmed. The coming year is full of uncertainties and unknowns. I daven to Hashem to help me become a better me, the me that I am meant to be...and I know that I will have to take the steps to change slowly and I can only do it with His help.

My birthday is also a time for me to reflect on the brachos Hashem has given me and to thank Him for them. Hashem has given me the greatest gift of all...the gift of life, the gift of a family, my precious children. They are all intertwined. I don't know where I would be without my adorable little kids who keep me going, push my buttons, make me laugh and cry and overwhelm me with stress and gratitude and everything in between. I am so grateful for them. 

I have learned so many lessons this year. Hashem helped me strengthen my trust in Him in so many ways. Although I don't ask for challenges, when I look back and see how they have affected me, I can appreciate the growth and change that came about because of them. No, I don't want any more tests. But I know that I am not the same person I was a year ago...and that is because of the life Hashem is playing out for me...and because He is strengthening me and helping me every step of the way. I believe in Him more, I trust in Him more and (I hope) I talk to Him and connect to Him even more than before.

On my birthday, I like to give my readers a bracha. So...here goes :)

May each of you be able to zero in on the things you know you need to change and take small and steady steps to be able to break bad habits and start good ones. May you feel Hashem at your side, helping you become the person you want to be. When you feel your strength waning, may you feel Hashem strengthening you-because change is harddd...and even with small steps, you will still need His help to keep at it.

May you be able to notice and appreciate the good you have been given and may Hashem continue to shower you with so much bracha and good things. He should keep each of you happy and healthy always and give you many reasons to keep thanking Him.

Almost every person is awaiting a yeshuah of some sort. Whatever it is that you are waiting for, whether it is health, parnassah, a shidduch, a job, children, shalom bayis, nachas from children, clarity in your purpose in life, answers to tough questions, an end to stressful times, family harmony and peace, Hashem should send that yeshuah so soon. Keep davening for the things you are waiting for. May that connection to Hashem get stronger and not weaker, may that bond never be severed and may you be able to see Hashem answer your tefillos in the best possible way.

And...as easy as it is for me to give out brachos, that's how easily Hashem should make them happen! It's easier for Him to make those changes than it is for me to type up this blog post! :-)

Birthday wishes, brachos, cake, chocolate and ice cream...I take all of those! :-)

Pink Dreidel

My daughter just celebrated her 3rd birthday. 

It's so cute how little kids think. When we made her birthday together with one of the many family Chanukah parties, she was a little confused. She woke up the following morning, and the next one too, with the same question. She wanted to know, "Is it still my birthday?"

She is a lucky girl. She's happy, she's healthy, she's adorable ke"h, she is smart...and she got a nice, big birthday present from her mommy and tatty.

But when we asked her what she wanted for her birthday present, her answer was simple. "I want a pink pwesent." That's all she needed. A pwesent that's pink. And when she got a pink dreidel from her Zaidy on Chanukah, she was so thrilled. She didn't need more than that.

My little girl is so not high maintenance. She is happy with a little pink dreidel.

And what about us? What does it take to make us happy? 

What are our dreams and wishes? 

If someone asked you, what can I buy you for your birthday? Or as a thank you gift? What would you want?

Are you happy with the things you already have?

Are you satisfied with the many gifts you have been given? 

We are so blessed. Our generation has been given so so much more than the previous generations. Our necessities were luxuries in the past. Heating in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, coats, spring jackets, rain jackets...and look at the standard teenager's wardrobe! One shabbos outfit? Who ever heard of that in today's times? 

We have shopping centers, huge supermarkets with everything you can ever imagine, every brand, color and variation of the same item (check out the different flavors of chocolate chips and you'll see what I mean :-)), avenues filled with stores of all types (think: 13th Avenue, 18th Avenue, Avenue J, Kings Highway...and that's just some of Brooklyn !)...there is so much that Hashem has given us.

We truly are lucky. 

It says in Pirkei Avos, "Aizehu ashir, hasame'ach bichelko." Who is rich? He who is happy with his portion.

Are you happy with the things you have? Or are you always looking for more? More clothing, more accessories, nicer, fancier, better, bigger, more exotic...and...why? Why do you want it?

My little girl is satisfied with a little pink dreidel.

My dear daughter, your birthday has passed. My bracha to you is that you should continue to have such simple expectations from your parents. You should always be happy with the little things you have. Your needs should always be met...and your wants should stay as plain and simple as the little pink dreidel that made you so happy on your 3rd birthday.

Happy (belated) Birthday, CG!

More Time

I got a ticket.

For an expired meter.

I was frustrated and upset. 

I rushed out of a store after waiting on line for way too long and saw the two police officers...slowly walking away from my car. There was the familiar orange color of the ticket tucked into my windshield. I ran.

I ran after them. 

I begged and pleaded with them to please take the ticket back, do something, anything so I wouldn't have to pay the money.

"Buy a new one," one of the police officers said. "There's nothing I can do, but quick, buy a new meter card and I'll explain..."

"But..." I stammered

"Just buy it-if there are six minutes between the time on the ticket and the time on your new meter card, you..."

I didn't listen to the rest. 

I got a quarter, quickly put it into the machine and checked the time. It said 2:13pm.

I grabbed the orange ticket and compared the time. I was "caught" at 2:09pm. My new meter card showed four minutes after the time the ticket was issued.

I waited for the policeman to explain the rest, while trying to calm my pounding heart.

"Now you have a way out," he explained. "Since there are less than six minutes between the time you were ticketed and the time on your new card, you can now fight the ticket. There is a six minute grace period...and you can say that you were in middle of getting a new card and you had to get quarters from your car and during that time you got a ticket."

I'm not sure about the lying part and making up a story, but if there is a way for me to get out...if the judge will give me six minutes of time...I will not have to pay this ticket. I am grateful.

Rosh Hashana is almost here.

We feel so unprepared.

What?? Elul passed already?

It's been almost 30 days...what do we have to show for ourselves?

But Hashem is a Ba'al Rachamim.

He is not out to get us. He doesn't want us to trip...to fall...to have to pay for our mistakes, for our negligence, for our lateness.

And so we were give the gift of Teshuva. And the gift of time. And more time.

When we repent, show real, true regret for the things we may have done wrong, the good things we should have done but never did, the lost opportunities, the mistakes we made, Hashem listens.

He is aware of the circumstances that may have caused us to fall. And unlike the police officers who didn't care about the long line that caused me to be delayed by a few minutes, Hashem understands and takes all those "excuses" into account. 

When we are sincere about the kind of person we wish to become, Hashem hears.

When we ask Him to help us change, because it is just too hard for us to do it alone, Hashem listens...and He will help us.

But more than that, Hashem blessed us with time...and more time.

Yes, the meter is running out, but we can "buy another card." After Rosh Hashana, we are given ten days, the aseres yimei teshuva and after that we have Yom Kippur.

Look at how much rachmanus Hashem has!

He keeps giving us more and more time to do teshuva and come closer to Him!

That is not to say that we should push it off to the last minute (even though the last minute is almost here!). We should utilize the time we have now to think. Think about the past year...and the coming year...and the brachos we would like to see in our lives...and the changes we would like to see in ourselves...and start now. 

We may feel discouraged by the fact that so much time has passed and we haven't even made a dent in the changes we wish we could make, we didn't use Elul much...and we went through our daily routines without even thinking about teshuva. But we should not dispair! Just like when the meter was out, instead of slowly strolling back to my car, I RAN, we can all run now. Instead of sauntering through the next few days as if we don't have a care in the world, let's show Hashem how becoming the person we want to be is important to us. Let's show Hashem that we want to change, we want to become better, different, elevated, spiritual, growing people. 

Let's use the little time we have left to think about the past year...the things we did that we wish we would never have done, things we may have read, watched, listened to, spoken about...and let's think about ways we can put up safeguards so that we don't stumble every time. Yes, we may fall, but falling is part of the process of growing. And like a trampoline, realize that sometimes we can jump even higher because of our downs, because of our falls. It is all part of the beauty of spiritual growth.

Change isn't easy. But we are given another gift-the gift of tefillah. And we can ask Hashem to help us become the person we dream of becoming. It may seem far off...but with baby steps, we can get there.

Thank you, Hashem for the gift of teshuva. Please help all of us use whatever time we have left until the yom hadin to utilize that gift...to the fullest!