Understanding Pain - Part 3

Here's the question that was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

When trying to help a loved one in a time of nisayon, its so easy for you to just say "it's from Hashem". But when you are the one going through a nisayon, knowing its all from Hashem doesn't make you feel any better. Although you know its from Hashem, the next world seems so far off and you can't imagine why He is putting you through this. What can help you, in your moment of pain, realize that everything is really for the best?

Make sure to read Part 1 and Part 2 of the answer.

Continued...

The truth is, the next world is not that far off at all! It's just that all too often we are so preoccupied with other things to give it a moment of our time. We don't think about it much. How many times during this past week have you thought about the fact that you are not here forever and there will come a time when you will stand before Hashem and He will judge you for everything you did in this world? I haven't really thought about it much until I read your email with your question.

But this can change. It's not that hard to think about it just for a few seconds. Think about someone who is not in this world anymore. Everyone knows someone who passed away recently - and if you are lucky enough not to know anybody close to you, think about my brother Shalom a"h for just a moment. He passed away just two weeks before his 16th birthday. Nobody is here forever and nobody knows how long they will live. When you take note of the fact that sometimes Hashem decides that it's best for a specific person to live a shorter than usual life (shorter than what we think is usual), it's a reminder that you should take advantage of the time you have in this world and use it to the fullest.

When a person stands before Hashem in the next world, he will see that so much good came from the fact that they went through painful times down here. Yissurim, pain, erases a person's aveiros, their sins. It's a known fact. When a person goes through hardships, their aveiros are literally erased! Imagine what a gift that is! Hashem is giving you a chance to get rid of some of the things you did by giving you something difficult right now!

Of course it's hard. Of course it hurts. But that's the point. If it would be easy it wouldn't be painful. And we may not have grown the same way.

The Jewish Nation is compared to an olive because when you squeeze it, the best oil comes out. The same way, when we, the Jewish People, are "squeezed" - when we go through hardships, the best comes out - one starts to see how great a Jew is when they are in pain! A person can reach great levels of closeness and connection to Hashem when things are hard for them. This is the reality of life.


There is a story told about someone who had a very hard life. He went to a rebbe to ask him for a bracha so that things should get better. While he was waiting in the waiting room to be seen, he fell asleep and had a dream. In his dream he saw himself in the heavenly courts awaiting judgement. The malachim started bringing all his mitzvos, all the good things he had done in his life, onto a scale. Wow, they were piling really high. Inviting guests with a smile, honoring his parents, keeping shabbos properly, learning torah - he really did a lot with his life.

But then they started bringing the aveiros to the scale. Brachos without proper concentration, embarrasing someone in public, looking at the wrong things, speaking negatively about other people. Woah. He had done many sins in his life.

Slowly, the scale started to tip towards the dark side. There were lots and lots of things he did throughout his lifetime, things he didn't even remember he had done, that he was now going to have to pay for.

Then, something interesting happened. Another malach came along and started to add the yessurim, the painful things he had gone through in his life, to the mitzvos side - and slowly, the scale started to shift. The weight on the good side was going up...up...up...

The man started to shout, "BRING MORE, BRING MORE!! I WANT MORE PAIN!!"

And then he woke up.

He woke up to hear his own voice shouting, screaming, asking for more pain in his life! He realized that in the next world, it becomes clear that pain is actually a good thing!! It serves as a tool to erase our aveiros - literally!

Think about this next time something happens that is hard for you - and let this message seep into your bones. That pain, although it hurts, is good for you. It erases your aveiros in the best way possible for you - and it's given to you by your Loving Father to make you into a better person.

May Hashem bless you with the ability to accept the tests He has given you and use them as stepping stones for growth to the highest level possible!