In order for us to acccept the torah we have to know that every neshama is soo precious to Hashem:)

Don't be afraid benei yisroel because we have torah and mitzvos thats what will save us! tefilla will empower you:)!

Shavuos - Why Was The Torah Given in The Desert?

This was posted last year and I want to share it with you once more.

One of the most popular questions raised regarding the Giving of the Torah, is why it was given in the desert.

HaRav Shimshon Pincus Z’tl, looks at the question from a different perspective. HaRav Pincus asks not why the Torah was actually given in the Midbar, but rather why the Torah was not given in Eretz Yisroel. After all, does not the very air of Eretz Yisroel itself make one wise? Wouldn’t the intense kedusha of Eretz Yisroel have a unique and special effect on those receiving the Torah?

HaRav Pincus answers that we must put the Giving of the Torah in its proper perspective. On Pesach, HaKadosh Baruch Hu chose us as his Kallah, as his bride. The Shidduch was made, and we celebrate our new relationship over Pesach. The days of Sefirah are the equivalent of the engagement period - between the Vort and the Chasuna itself. Shavuos is then, the Great Wedding, where Hashem came out to greet us as a Chosson steps forward to greet his Kallah. The period after Shavuos is the time in which the newfound relationship was to be firmly and eternally established.

We can now understand why the Torah had to be given in the desert. A Chosson and Kallah need time with each other, without any distractions whatsoever - not even holy or important ones - in order to form an eternal bond. Giving the Torah in Eretz Yisroel would be the equivalent of getting married in a kitchen, even if it was Glatt Kosher LeMehadrin! As soon as the Chupa was over, the Chosson would soon be learning how to use the Shabbos Clock, and the Kallah would start figuring out how to make cholent! Just as the Yichud room follows immediately after the Chupa so that the newlyweds can focus on each other and only on each other, so too, did we need our special time to be separated from everything else and unite with HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

In order to connect to Hashem, we have to disconnect from the world for a moment. We have to get rid of the distractions and things that hold us back from getting to know Him. The best place to do that is in the midbar-in the desert, where there are no iPods, cameras, videos, magazines, computers with internet! All these things can be major distractions and hold us back from connecting to Hashem so this is what the midbar comes to teach us-about being alone, just us and Hashem, nobody else!

We are now like the Chosson and Kallah a little more than a week before the Chuppah. The anticipation, the last minute preparations, the prayers that everything goes right...but we must also remember that the goal to be achieved when Shavous arrives is not only the marvelous and incomparable moment of the Wedding itself, but also the raising of our own personal ever-special and eternally-lasting relationship that must follow, as expressed by the love that we have for Hashem, the improved way in which we study His Torah and the devoted manner and especially warm care in which we perform His Mitzvos!

We need to set aside some time during the day or during week and make it special and use it to connect to Hashem. Turn off the music, shut down the computer, don't look at your cell phone, stop texting (!), reading or whatever it is that you are doing and instead, use the time you have to show Hashem you want to connect to Him by doing something that will bring you closer to Him!

Kindness Poem

We may be very different
Yes, we are, me and you.
But we share a common trait
Because I have feelings too.

Don’t you know the hurt,
Of being put to shame?
You don’t like to sit alone
I am just the same.

Just because I’m foreign
And I sometimes act strange too,
Doesn’t mean I need no friends –
I need them just like you!

No one wants to be my partner
No one wants to chat.
I always sit in the corner
Rarely even glanced at.

My clothes are ragged & dirty
And of course, I’m told.
But inside there is a heart
That needs warmth in the cold.

Yes, we may be different
We really are, me and you.
But everyone has feelings
And I have them just like you!

Taken from www.chinuch.org by Miss Antebi

Self Worth

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

Q: How does one deal with very frustrating feelings that the Yetzer Hara tries to make a person feel? It can make a person feel worthless! When a person is very upset, they feel like just giving up and they aren't worth anything... How do you get those thoughts out of your head?

A: Thank you for asking this question. It is a very important one since we all feel, at one point or another, that we messed up and it's hard to get back up again and keep trying.

These thoughts are coming from your Yetzer Hara trying to make you feel worthless so you won't even try again. People make mistakes. That's part of life. The important thing is to get up again and not to let anything stand in your way by making you feel like you don't have value.

Every person is important.

Proof?

"The day you were born was the day Hashem decided that the world cannot exist without you!"
Isn't that powerful?
And the fact that He wakes you up each morning shows that you have something to accomplish today and you are an important person in the world Hashem created!

So don't let these little voices in your head get in the way of your personal growth because in truth, there's so much you can do!

When you start feeling down and are not in the mood of trying, it's hard to know what to do next. One thing you can try is to talk to yourself. These days, with people walking around with tiny bluetooth devices in their ears, you wont even look strange if you walk down the street talking to yourself lol! Kidding! You don't have to literally talk to yourself with your mouth but you can talk to yourself in your head. Tell yourself that you are important. Repeat that quote to yourself - because it's 100% true! Think of the times someone made you feel important about what you did - a thank you, a compliment, a kind word, a smile...and then go do that back to someone else. When you make someone else feel valued, you start to realize how important you are - because you have the power to lift someone's spirits and make their day!!

Remind yourself again and again that you are important and do something every day that leaves an impression on someone else so that at the end of the day you can look back and say, I did something today that made a difference. Then, you'll start to feel that you really are important, even if you didn't feel that way before.

When you impact someone's life, even by brightening someone's day, you are showing them that they are important to you - and then you will feel that you are important to someone else!

I'm not sure if this fully answers your question. Please let me know what you think of what I wrote and if it helps at all and if you still have questions about this.

Does anyone else have advice for the person who asked this? What things do you do to get yourself out of that mood of worthlessness and feeling down? How do you show yourself that you are important?

Preperation for Shavous..with our favorite teacher Rabbi Charlie Harary!!

Here is a tiny taste of Lag Baomer in Meiron..

Lag Ba'Omer - Why Celebrate?!

As we reach the Lag BaOmer milestone, we are faced with a perplexing question:

What is really the sudden cause for celebration at this time? After all, from what we know of our past during the Omer period, 24,000 senior scholars--the students of Rebbe Akiva passed away for not properly respecting each other; even Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai, one of the surviving students, eventually passed away on this day; later, the Crusades took their great toll on Ashkenazic Jewry during Sefira; then, the great Posek for Ashkenazim, the Rema passed away on Lag BaOmer, like Rebbe Shimon; and, most recently, much of Hungarian Jewry was hurriedly annihilated during the period from Pesach to Shavuos in 1944--to such an extent that the survivors of Hungarian Jewry who do not know when their relatives or friends were murdered observe the Second Day of Shavuos as their Yahrzeit. So, what is the joy--the songs, the bonfires, the bows and arrows about? Why are weddings allowed, and Tachanun not recited?

Rav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita (following the lines of the Gra’s Commentary on Shulchan Aruch Orach Chayim, 493) teaches we celebrate that in all events, there were those who remained. Indeed, the resemblance in all of the aforementioned tragedies is striking: Rebbe Shimon passed his legacy to his students (it is no coincidence that so many other future generations of Tannaim are buried right around Rebbe Shimon in Meron). Similarly, even after the Crusader massacres killing Rabbeinu Tam and many others in many communities, the Baalei Tosfos flourished for many generations, culminating in the Rosh, and his son, the Tur, as the basis for our Shulchan Aruch; the Rema, rather than being the final word in Halacha for Ashkenazim, became the basis and guide for the scores of future poskim; the remnants of Hungarian Jewry fill the Yeshivas from Bnei Brak to Borough Park.

But it is more than that we are just survivors. It is the fulfillment of the Posuk (Devorim 32:23): “Chitzai Achaleh Bom”--I will finish my arrows in them--which Chazal (Sotah 9A) explain to mean--my arrows will be finished in them, but they will not be finished. Hashem has guided us through events, times, places and tragedies of immense proportions, while the other 70 nations of the world disappeared from far less calamitous events. Perhaps this is the symbol of the bow and arrow on Lag BaOmer--the arrows are done, but we are not. Why is this so--why has our history--our experience in this world been so different than all other nations?

We suggest that the answer to this, too, brings us to this time of year--it is, once again, not coincidental that all of this is happening as we prepare to receive the Torah--for it IS THE TORAH that has made our lives so different and so endurable. It is the Torah, created well before the world as we know it was created, that has given us the “supernatural” force for us to thrive and survive. At this special time of year, we should especially demonstrate our recognition of the importance of Torah in our lives and in the lives of K’lal Yisroel.

PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: For the coming two weeks until Shavuos, in whatever you are learning, whether it is a thought on the Parsha, Daf Yomi, or even a Torah email, think about how important Torah study in our lives. It is not academics, nor a body of knowledge, but the one part of our life that permeates and invigorates us--and the bonfire that warms and enlightens us every day of our lives.

Taken from today's Hakhel post.

Today - Pesach Sheini

Today is Pesach Sheini. What is so special about this day?

When Bnei Yisroel celebrated their first Pesach in the midbar, there were some people who were unable to partake in the korban pesach since they were tamei (they were impure because they were exposed to a dead body). They came to Moshe Rabbeinu and complained to him saying, “It’s not fair! Why should we lose out on this special mitzvah? We also want to be able to fulfill it!”

They didn’t say to themselves, “Yessss! We missed out on it and now we don’t have to do this mitzvah! We can get away with not doing it…” or anything of the sort. They were bothered and hurt by the fact that they were losing out on a chance to do a mitzvah. This mitzvah was so precious to them that they were upset that they didn’t get to do it! They took the time to bring this matter to Moshe's attention and beg for another chance!

Hashem told Moshe about Pesach Sheini-which gives any person who was unable to bring the korban at it’s proper time (through no fault of their own-not because they were lazy) a second chance. And it wasn't just for that year, it wasn't just a one-time thing. This was a message and a mitzvah for every generation. From now on, every year, on the 14th of Nissan, we celebrate Pesach Sheini.

The first thing to think about is, are we so excited and do we love mitzvos so much that when we don’t get to do it, we feel like we lost out on the opportunity of a lifetime and wish we can make up for it? Do we realize how precious each and every mitzvah truly is? We can take this message from the Jews in the midbar who begged for another chance to do the mitzvah they lost out on.

And the second thing to learn is that Hashem gives every person a second chance. It is never too late to change. If there is something you wanted to work on, something you want to stop doing or something you wanted to start doing, now's the time to take the message and make that change. You can always come closer to Hashem, even if you feel you are so far away from Him.

So take the message, make the change and...enjoy the matzah!

Mistakes

The following two questions were submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

Q: How is a person supposed to deal with embarrassment with a mistake that person makes but cant stop and is constantly getting embarrassed by what they did every time that person mentions it or brings it up?

A: I'll repeat it the way I remember hearing from someone I look up to and respect. People tend to think that mistakes are a bad thing. But that's not true. Mistakes are only bad if you don't learn from them. Mistakes are actually good - if you take a lesson from whatever you did and use it to change or grow in the future or to make sure that specific situation doesn't happen again.

For example, if you were trying to bake a cake while you were on the phone with a friend and you skipped out one ingredient, you may not be happy with the results of that cake because your forgot to put in the sugar (!) but this was a mistake that you will make sure not to repeat. If you learn from this experience and decide not to talk on the phone again when you are baking because it disturbs your concentration and then your cake wont come out good, then that mistake is a good thing! You took a lesson from it and from now on, your cakes will come out delicious because you will be able to focus on what you are doing without getting distracted!

The first thing you need to do is see if you can take a practical lesson from whatever happened and make sure you can do something to be more careful in the future.

If a friend or family member keeps reminding you about the incident and that makes you embarrassed, try to talk it over with her. Tell her straight out: it makes me uncomfortable when you constantly bring up that mistake I made. I know I should have been more careful and I botched up the cake and we didn't have dessert for shabbos but next time I will make sure I am not distracted by other things and then it will work out perfectly!

It is very important to be able to communicate openly about how you feel about certain things to those who are close to you so that they do not hurt your feelings by reminding you about past mistakes.

I know the example I gave is a petty one but I hope you can apply it to the mistake you made and work it out in a way that makes both you and the one who reminds you about it happy at the end of the conversation.

If the mistake you made is something wrong morally, ethically or is a bad deed - an aveira, you need to go one step further. You will need to do teshuva - verbalize the aveira, sincerely feel bad about what you did, and take upon yourself to work on that action so that you don't do it again. Chaya Sara wrote a great post a while back called how to do teshuva.

And don't think teshuva is only for Elul, it can and should be done as close as possible to the time the aveira was done - this way you are showing Hashem that you really feel bad about what you did and you sincerely want to change for the better! And then when Elul comes around, you'll have less things to fix!

* * *

Q: How should we react when we find out that a parent made big mistakes?

A: Know that parents are also human beings. All people make mistakes. It says that there is no such thing as a person who never erred or who never sinned (I'm not sure about the exact wording but it's something like Ein tzaddik ba'aretz asher ya'aseh tov v'lo yecheteh.)
Your parents are normal - and just like everyone else in the world they made a mistake.

Depending on what happened next and the effect of their mistake, you may want to find a way to speak to them respectfully about it or get someone to be a go-between to help find a way to fix it.

I don't know what you mean by big mistakes so I can't say much more.

The only thing I have to add is that whatever the thing is that your parent did that looks wrong in your eyes should not diminish your respect for them. You may not know their full thought process behind what they did, they may have expected different results based on the decision they made, but know that parents always want to do whatever is best for their children - and THAT is enough of a reason to continue to love and respect them.
Their emotions may get in the way of their decisions, they may have done something you view as wrong but you cannot know everything they were thinking when they did whatever they did.

Continue appreciating all the good things your parents do for you and most importantly, remember that they are human beings too and you cannot expect perfection from anyone.

I hope this helps both of you. I would really appreciate if the person/people who asked these two questions would comment and let me know if this helped you and if you still have any thoughts or questions about what I wrote.