Video-Dear God

Sometimes, we have so much in our hearts that we want to express to Hashem. But we don't know how to say it. We don't have the right words.

Hashem, who created us all and knows the deepest parts of us, understands it all.

This video illustrates this idea really beautifully.

Guest Room

My basement
With the guest room
Once a happening place
Busy hosting
Sleepover guests
Now replaced
With quiet
It's empty
Week after week
As we seek
To remain
Safe
Home
Alone
No guests
No more changing linen
On a weekly basis
No more inviting guests
Every shabbos
No more last minute requests
"Is your basement available?"
No more calls
To reserve the space
For families
Who need a place
To stay
When coming from far away
So they could partake
In a family simcha.
No more telling the kids
To choose a few games
Before shabbos day
So they could play
On shabbos morning
Upstairs
So the guests could stay
Sleeping
Downstairs.
The basement -
It's all theirs
Every day of the week
No more sharing their space
No more hosting with grace
No more giving a place
To people who need.
Our guests thanked us
They were so grateful
When they'd leave
But did I realize
Indeed
How much I gained
From hosting?
How much I enjoyed
Being
On the giving end?
Our home is still full
Full of noise
Full of laughter
Full of learning
Full of fun
Full of laundry
Full of messes
Full of kids.
But it's empty
Empty of guests
Empty of Hachnosas orchim
Empty of
The weekly giving.
Yes, I'm still giving
Endlessly
To my kids
To my family
But I want to give
To a bigger circle
Of people who need
Of people who enjoy
My home
My food
My desserts
My company.
I think about
Hashem's home
That was once full
Full of people
Full of kedusha
Full of purpose
Full of meaning
Full of life.
Now that home
Is empty.
Completely empty
Are we ready?
Ready to be the ones
To fill that home
With kedusha?
With purpose?
And with meaning?
Do we fill our homes
With kedusha?
With purpose?
With meaning?
Can we be the ones
To return to
Hashem's home?
So He can host us
And bestow upon us
All the goodness
All the blessings
That come along with
Basking in His presence?
My home is so full
Yet empty in some ways
My heart is full of yearning
Waiting for true change
When we will be united
Together all Jews
With clarity
And the redemption
Just to name a few.
Hashem,
Look at your nation
Look at the chessed
Look at the tefillos
Look at the teshuva
Of so many individuals
We are changing
We are growing
We are yearning
We are hoping
For change
The Ultimate change
The Ultimate geula
We want to be
In Your home.
Bring us home
Fill Your home
With our noise
With our laughter
With our joy
Of the geula
Of knowing
That all this
Was part of
Your plan for us.
Bring us back.
Bring us home.

Microscopic

The following poem was written by Sarala Pollack. I'm sure it will inspire you as much as it inspired me!

A tiny microscopic germ,

Inflicts so many,

Keep us in our house,

Does not allow us to interact,

Has changed our lives, while trying to keep intact,

Thought it's tiny,

Its potential is so great,

It created such a scare,

Do not go near me, don't dare!

So tiny, yet it has changed our lives

So small, yet it has dictated what we do,

We, precious human beings,

Children of Hashem,

We may think we're tiny, so small,

We may think we're just nothing at all,

I'm just but like the many starts in the sky, we think,

Who am I, amongst so many stars?

But that's precisely who are we are,

Our value, our worth,

So vast, unlimited,

So bright and shining,

So precious and unique in our own way,

So special, it would be a sin to forget it all,

So, as we're home,

Let's contemplate our unlimited worth,

Let's embrace ourselves,

Let's shine in ways that may seem "microscopic" but are truly not,

Let's shine, smile, laugh, sing, create and let ourselves break through

Seder Night

Seder night
House is bright
Full of light
And joy
We sit together
As a family
Each child ready
Haggadas chosen
Wine is poured
As we begin
The tradition
Of Kadeish, urchatz
Singing softly
Happy tunes
Joyous melodies
Uplifting moods
I glance around
The table
Look around
At my kids
And feel blessed
We are here
Together
Healthy and well
Amid uncertainty
Around the world. 
Yet as I look
At my son
And see his choice
Of haggadah
My heart
Falls
And I feel sad
His own haggadah
Should be full
Of divrei torah
From his rebbe
Dictated
Carefully
Written
In his childish scribbles
But understood
With his mature
Understanding
And repeated
With clarity
And he knows which ones
I would like
He should repeat
The gematrias
And remazim
Mathematical calculations
That explain
The meaning
Behind this part
Of the hagaddah
And the deeper meaning
Behind this phrase
In the haggadah
And the story here
And a mashal there
All explained
By his rebbe
Written in his haggadah
In his messy handwriting
But given over
With crystal clear
Understanding.
It should be that way.
Yet
His haggadah is empty
Sure, the pages are full,
Full of the printed words
Of the haggadah
But the lines
The empty lines
Waiting to be filled in
With divrei torah
Dictated
By his rebbe
With love
And passion
Giving over
Stories
And explanations 
Deeper meanings
Behind
Hashem's miracles
And our slavery
None of it
Was filled in
Nothing there
But empty lines
They waited
He waited
For his rebbe
Who wasn't feeling well
To get better
So he could teach
Over the phone
And he could write down
All the explanations
Baruch Hashem
His rebbe is feeling better
And on the last day 
Of learning 
Before pesach 
He was able to
Come onto the phone
To wish the boys
To wish his boys
A gut yom tov
But that was it.
No divrei torah
Written down
Scribbled
No divrei torah
To share
With his family.
So instead,
He chose another haggadah
With beautiful stories
And short explanations
Which was great
And nice
For this time
But for me
The saddest sight
The sight the broke my heart
Was that empty haggadah
With pages waiting to be filled
Because
It represented
The emptiness
The desire
The yearning
For learning
For real learning
And structure
And social interactions
And deeper connections
That exist
In the classroom
Yes, I am grateful
Grateful for life
For this life
For our health
And his rebbe's
Improved health
But I am sad.
I look at the empty pages
Of his haggadah
And wish
We could go back
Rewrite
This time
And fill in
The blanks
The empty pages
And relive
The excitement
That comes along
With seder night
And the full experience
Of yeshiva
In session
With lessons
That are eternal
Embedded
Into the soul
Of my young boy
So he doesn't have to read
From a preprinted
Haggadah
With English translations
And English
Explanations
Instead
He would read
Straight from his book
From his hand written
Illegible - to me
But legible
To him
Thoughts
And divrei torah
That are imprinted
In his heart
Forever.
Hashem...
Please allow our children
To learn from their rabbeim
In their classrooms
With the halls of their
Yeshiva
Reverberating
With the sounds
Of torah
Of singing
With hasmadah
And fire
And excitement
And joy
And bring us back
To your home
To your palace
With joy
And happiness
And tears
Of excitement
So we can sing
And praise you
Forever
And ever. 

There Will Come A Day

This is the most touching poem ever. Read and be inspired. 

There Will Come a Day
By: Yaakov Klein

They will be repaid
These walls
These cold, empty halls
For their unbearable pain
For their anguish

Cherubic faces of small children
Illuminated with excitement
Wide eyes of wonder
The beautiful curiosity of youth
Gave these walls a name:
"Classroom"
All dressed up with
Art projects, bulletin boards, a paper alphabet train
They exuded warmth, comfort, and security
So that their precious charges could learn
So that their precious charges could shine

Furrowed brows and open hearts
Swaying, singing, bowing figures
Bound together with a single goal
To heal the world with prayer
To communicate with their loving Creator
Gave these walls a name:
"Shul"
All dressed up with
Ornate wooden cuts, verses of faith, shelves of sacred texts
They exuded majesty, serenity, and sweet familiarity
So that their precious charges could connect
So that their precious charges could shine

Two souls floating down the aisle
To form an eternal bond under a canopy of blessing
Wide circles of exuberant dance
To music that is too loud
Joy that simply knows no bounds
Gave these walls a name:
"Simcha hall."
All dressed up with
Elegant moldings, elaborate light fixtures, glorious drapings
They exuded royalty, illumination, and other-worldly exultation
So that their precious charges could celebrate
So that their precious charges could shine

And then a virus came along and stole their charges away
Away to different walls, walls called
"Home"
An extreme precaution to stem the spread of illness
A near death-sentence, to these walls
They wept
They whimpered
Their identity threatened and all but shattered

But they did not collapse
No, they dared not collapse
Because they knew that
Difficult as this time-period might be
Spent cowering alone in the eerie silence
Their precious charges would be coming back
Coming back very soon
Very very soon

They stood tall
They stood proud
And they whispered to each other
Through the darkness
"There will come a day"

There will come a day
When the gates are unlocked
And the first busload of children arrive
They will have grown a bit, they will have matured
But their eyes will yet be filled with wonder
Slowly, uncertain in their excitement
They will enter their beloved walls
To join hands with friends
So much more excited
To discover life's answers
Than ever before

There will come a day
When the doors open wide
And the gabbai prepares the shteibel for the very first minyan
Congregants will gather together
The closer the better
Young and old, sephardi and ashkenazi, chassid and litvak
They will have developed immunity to division
During the time of their isolation
Linking arms, binding souls, they will call out
"Amen y'hei Shmei Rabbah"
With more energy
With more gratitude
Than ever before

There will come a day
When the entrance is unbolted
And the guests begin to arrive
Dressed in their finest
Hearts overflowing with the immensity of the celebration
A glorious chuppah saturated with emotion and prayer
The new couple's entrance into crowds bubbling over with joy
A snake formation, hands on each other's shoulders
Dancing the night away
Hearts lifted to heaven
More eager to praise
More eager to love
Than ever before

They will be repaid
These walls
These cold, empty halls
For their unbearable pain
For their anguish

For there will come a day
There will come a day

The Pail-A Story

Someone shared this with me and the message is so perfect for now. 

I love this story and it seems very apt to share right now. Wishing everyone good health, strength and (yes) joy to get through this challenge. 

From Rabbi Yochanan Rivkin in New Orleans:

In light of everything that is being cancelled, including the prayers at Congregation Anshe Sfard of New Orleans, I want to share a Chasidic story.

The two brothers, the famed Rabbi Elimelech of Lizensk and Rabbi Zushe of Anipoli, often wandered about together, posing as simple beggars. They would mingle with the masses, listening, teaching, speaking, helping and guiding whomever and whenever they could.

Once, while they were traveling with a group of vagabonds, members of the group were accused of being thieves, resulting in the entire bunch being thrown into jail. Confident of their innocence and eventual release, the two brothers sat quietly. As the afternoon progressed, Rabbi Elimelech stood up to prepare himself to pray the afternoon service.
"What are you doing?" his brother asked.

"I'm getting ready for minchah," replied Rabbi Elimelech.
Rabbi Zushe pointed at the pail in the corner of the room. "It is forbidden," he said, "to pray in this cell, because the odor coming from that pail makes the room unfit for prayer."
Dejected, the holy Rabbi Elimelech sat down.

Soon after, Rabbi Elimelech began to cry. "Why are you crying?" said Rabbi Zushe. "Is it because you are unable to pray?" Reb Elimelech answered affirmatively.

"But why weep?" continued Rabbi Zushe. "Don't you know that the same G-d who commanded you to pray, also commanded you not to pray when the room is unfit for prayer? Be happy that G-d has afforded you the opportunity to obey His law at this time, no matter what it is."

"You are right, my brother!" exclaimed Rabbi Elimelech, suddenly smiling. The feelings of dejection banished from his heart and mind, Rabbi Elimelech took his brother's arm and began to dance from joy as a result of performing the mitzvah of not praying in an inappropriate place.

The guards heard the commotion and came running. Witnessing the two brothers dancing, the guards asked the other prisoners what had happened. "We have no idea!" they answered, mystified. "Those two Jews were discussing the pail in the corner, when all of a sudden they came to some happy conclusion and began to dance."

"Is that right?" sneered the guards. "They're happy because of the pail, are they? We'll show them!" 
They promptly removed the pail from the cell!

*    *    *    *
As Jews, we need to know that refraining from a Jewish practice such as attending synagogue because of a danger to life and health is as much a mitzvah as engaging in those practices under normal circumstances. We need to joyously thank G-d for allowing us to fulfill his Holy Will, whatever it is. And, perhaps, in merit of that joy, He might just take the pail away...

Real Success-Purim 2020

Purim is here, we feel it in the air,

It is a time of festivities as we are aware,

So as I like to do year after year

I’ll explain a deeper message and with you I will share.

On Purim we dress up in costumes and masks,

We hide our true selves for people to guess and ask,

It's part of the fun but there's something more,

There's a deeper aspect here that we can explore.

When we cover our faces on the outside,

We are allowing the external to hide,

And then we can focus on what's in our souls,

The inner part of us that it's special and whole.

The world we live in measures success,

By what can be seen by the eyes and how it's expressed,

A big house, lots of money or letters after one's name,

Are some things that show someone "made it" in this fake game.

But the Torah tells us true success is seen by,

The struggles we overcome that are hidden from the public eye

Changing our habits and improving our character traits,

Like overcoming negativity, laziness or anger make us truly great.

These internal successes don't get awards and aren't seen,

But that's exactly what counts in the greater scheme,

So on Purim we hide our face behind the mask,

As we challenge ourselves with this most difficult task.

Of focusing on fixing what's inside our hearts,

This day of Purim is the best time to start,

Because by removing the emphasis from success seen by all,

We can overcome internal struggles every time we fall.

Let's remember that the Torah values our efforts when we try,

And with Hashem's help we'll be able to soar and fly!

Let's all remove our masks and zoom in on what's inside,

And may we be proud of the perfected character we will find!

So c'mon, let's celebrate our internal successes that are true and real, 

So deep, inner happiness we will be able to feel! 

A Freilichen Purim!

Instant Insight Purim Poem

A Purim Instant Insights by Rabbi Feigenbaum

Since after Shabbos it will be Purim day,
A Dvar Torah on the Megilla is appropriate to say.
I know everyone likes it under two minutes for no one has time,
But please bear with me as we offer this Vort in rhyme.

It’s not my thought – though it is an aynfal,
I saw it in the sefer of Rav Galinsky zatzal.
It’s on Megilas Esther, Perek Vav Posuk Yud Beis,
Let me read it to you, so you know what the text says.

After leading Mordechai through the streets, poor Haman embarrassed to the core,
It was avel v’chafoi rosh that he entered through home door.
Avel means mourning, and chafoi rosh means garbage on his head,
The famous Medrash here teaches us what’s really being said.

As any school child knows, Haman’s daughter looked out the window with glee,
And took a pail of garbage to throw on the big loser she did see.
For it must be her father high up there on the horse,
And the poor fellow who is leading – oh that must be that rasha Mordechai of course!

So with a l’sheim yichud and great kavanah she picked up the pail,
Aimed it very carefully so this great mitzvah would not fail.
Down went that garbage - a perfect hit, a bullseye!
But then she looked a little closer and she gave out a sigh.

“Oh no what a mistake! It can’t be! That was not the plan!
I garbaged the head of my father – I hit the wrong man!”
But when garbage is thrown, it cannot magically come back up and rise,
So she jumped out of the window, and that was her demise.

Thus Haman was an avel, mourning for the daughter he’ll never again see,
And came home with garbage on his head, and now must leave for the Queen’s party.
Asks Rav Galinsky – this Medrash is entertaining,
But Chazal only teach us information if there’s some lesson we’ll be gaining.

Says Rav Galinsky – there is a lesson here for every member of our nation,
Like Haman’s daughter, we also judge others without sufficient information.
Oh we assume we know it all, we’ve heard, we read, we did see,
It’s right there on that blog, it was my best friend who told me!

Well, before you take that garbage and on another person’s head you do dump,
You better check it out carefully, or you might be the one who must jump.
Learn from Haman’s daughter – things are not always what they appear to be,
Dan l’kaf zechus your fellow Yid – don’t be so quick to judge what you see.

And just because someone has a blog, or knows how to post comments on the net,
Does not mean that by reading them, Olam Haba you will get.
Garbage that is thrown on another, makes a mess and makes a smell,
And cannot be taken back, and causes the one who threw it to end up in…. well --

 Like Haman’s daughter, who came to a sad and swift end.
But there is a way that sinas chinam in Klall Yisrael we can mend,
We can create achdus – we can all agree to disagree,
And just talk about the issues, and not about the others personality.

So if you have this great urge to forward, to post and to send,
Maybe pass on this poem – and sinas chinam we can end!

A Freilechen Purim!

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A Lesson in Parenting

There's always a first time, right?

But to me, this little encounter was surprising and upsetting at first; it was enlightening and empowering at the end.

I was in a toy store with my baby and I was bouncing him up the steps in the stroller. In the past, any time I was in a public place with a staircase and my baby, someone offered to help me.

When I went to shul for a kiddush and was bouncing the stroller down the steps to the simcha hall, someone offered to help me.

When I was walking up the steps to a friend's house and someone saw me with the stroller, he offered a helping hand.

And this time, this woman watched me bounce up the steps one by one and waited patiently as I slowly made my way up the steps. She followed along with me, but didn't gesture or offer a helping hand.

It was surprising, but I continued on my way as she conversed with her little girl about the toys in the shop. 

A few moments later, I watched as her daughter bumped into a box from a neatly stacked pile of toys and continued on, without turning back to pick up the box she knocked over. My own little girl rushed to straighten out the boxes.

Okay, it happens, I thought to myself.

But when that happened a second time, I wasn't so sure. When the same girl casually continued looking at the toys on display after knocking something down a second time, I knew this wasn't a coincidence.

And I thought about it.

I realized how much power and influence we parents have over our children.

Children learn more from what we do than from what we say.

When we model good behavior, they will follow in our ways.

And when we model carelessness and disregard for another's feelings, our children will do the same.

It's not her daughter's fault that no one ever taught her to look out for other people. She was just following what she saw from her own mother.

Now, I'm not judging this woman and there can be numerous reasons for why she didn't offer to help.

Maybe she has back problems and can't lift anything heavy.

Maybe she has other health issues that would prevent her from offering the specific type of help I could have used.

But after seeing this young girl exhibit the exact same carelessness as her mother, I took this very powerful and empowering message for myself as a parent.

We can tell our children all the right things.

We can lecture them about how to act in private and how to behave in public.

But the most profound way to teach them is by modeling the behavior we want them to emulate.

We can tell them not to yell at their siblings when they're upset, but if we yell at them when we are angry, what will they learn to do? We need to work on ourselves to maintain our own inner calm, even when we're stressed, annoyed or angry. 

We can speak about the importance of honesty, forgiveness, responsibility and all the other good virtues, but the best way for them to really internalize their importance is by modeling honesty, by being forgiving and taking responsibly for our actions.

They will learn to trust in Hashem and to believe that everything that happens is for the good if they see us responding to difficult situations with words of emunah and faith. With actions that show we believe Hashem runs the world and we have faith in Him. 

It's in our hands to help the next generation acquire the skills they need to navigate the complex world we live in. We can help them succeed by working on our own selves.

May we be able to do the hard work so we can be in the best place possible on an emotional level, on a spiritual level and on every level in between. And may our children follow in our positive ways.

A Stabbing

A stabbing
In Monsey
Leaves me shaking
Quaking
There's this
Unsettling
Feeling
Inside of me
And I want to do something!
Anything
To protect myself
And my family
It's getting too close
Too close to home
First Jersey City
Now Monsey
It's too scary
And I'm scared
Scared for
My safety
Scared for
My family
Scared for
My Nation 
The Jewish People
I want everyone
To be safe
I have ideas
I have plans
Things to do
Things not to do
We can't lock ourselves
In our houses
In our homes
This is crazy! 
Our homes are not safe
The streets are not safe
This world is not safe
And I want to protect myself
And all those close to me
So we won't be touched
By this unseen force
Of destruction 
Of death
Of hatred 
And suddenly 
It hits me
I need to give up control 
To the One who controls everything 
I never had control 
Over my safety 
And security 
In the first place
Hashem controls
It all
He controls 
Whether I wake up every morning 
He controls 
My every breath
And He controls 
Who walks the streets
Who pulls the trigger 
He controls 
Who pulls out
A machete
And He continues 
To protect us
To watch over us. 
We don't understand 
We don't have to 
Understand 
His crazy plan
It's too big
For our little brains
To understand 
But we must
Strengthen our trust
Pray for those who are hurt
And hope
For their healing
And hope 
For our safety 
All the while
Remembering
Internalizing 
That He is the one
Who controls it all. 
Hashem...? 
Please
Heal those who were hurt
Protect us all
And keep us safe
Bring us 
The ultimate safety 
And security 
Under the wings of
Your shechina.